


Best Damn Pilot in the Universe

by alienbahby (sunwashigh)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gen, More fluff than angst, Mostly Fluff, Original Character(s), Post-Movie(s), Reader-Insert, and maybe a little OOC, i don't update the tags, implied female reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-08 04:17:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 62
Words: 116,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5483021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunwashigh/pseuds/alienbahby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Starkiller Base is destroyed, the reader gains the courage to speak to their idol and sparks a fire of romance with the best pilot in the Resistance. But is this just puppy love or will it withstand the war in the stars?.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Autographs

**Author's Note:**

> Probably spoilery. Anyway, I hope this is good! First piece in second POV in a while. Tell me if there is anything weird and other thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nervous reader wants to add a new signature to their autograph book.

The lull settles after all the celebrations; victory meals resting in everyone's full bellies. You wait for the commotion around your favorite pilot to die down before making your move. Butterflies awake and dance a quick and restless dance in your stomach, accompanied by the harsh beating of your own heart. Maker, he's only a man. 

Every step you take heavies you with anxiety. In your back pocket, you possess a small journal. Each page is special with signatures of mostly everyone from myth, the latest additions of General Organa and Han Solo. Your trembling hands reach behind you as you finally reach the pilot and his droid. The small bot rotates its head towards you and beeps enthusiastically. 

Dammit, you think. Your hands are sweaty from nervousness. Hopefully he doesn't want to shake hands as you force a smile, trying to hide the shakiness, but even you feel the slight twitches at the corners. 

"Another fan, I assume?" He asked, an easy smile resides on his cracked lips. Accidentally your eyes linger. His teeth are nice and you begin to notice the laugh lines around his mouth. Your smile starts to hurt your face, but you don't mind as you bring your lips together again. Suddenly your mouth is dryer than Jakku and words that you said before to bigger idols are lost. 

You nod, getting a writing utensil from your pocket. "No need." He waves his hand in the air, already having one. "People are treating me like some celebrity." Poe chuckles to himself. 

You laugh along too, adding, "You escaped from the First Order and then later shot the First Order's fuel supply in return helping us stay alive." He takes the tattered journal from your hands and flips to a new page. 

"With help from my friends." He retorts, finding a spot. BB-8 dings at that comment. Your smile finally dies down and your cheeks relax with fading tremors. 

"Could you also sign fo-" 

"BB-8 too?" He quickly autographs the page and then slows. "I'll draw my little friend here." 

An excited noise comes from the both of you and you try your hardest not to stand on your tip toes to look at the artist at work. 

A moment passes and you put a stray hair behind your ear, thinking of how long it remained there and if you looked unkempt. His tongue slips out between his lips as he concentrates. "You don't have to try so hard." You tease, shifting your weight to your dominant leg. 

"I have to get BB-8 just right. It's a one of a kind, nothing in the world just like it." He flashes a proud smile at the droid before continuing. "Anyway, what's your name?" 

"(A/N)..." On your tongue, you hold back 'what's yours?' He's Poe Dameron, your mind reminds you. He leans down, showing BB-8 its portrait. They exchange a quiet conversation, their looks occasionally looking in your direction. The pilot returns to the drawing for a few moments. 

"You're quiet for a fan." Your face heats up as your mind reels for a reason for your silence. "I'm sorry." You suck in a breath, knowing apologizing wasn't the right reaction. He grins knowingly. "Where are you from (A/N?)" 

Places? It didn't matter now. The Republic, your home, was utterly destroyed. "Hosnian Prime." You answer despondently. He doesn't look up to know the pain on your face. "I'm sorry." He apologizes this time. 

"We got them though. It'll take them a minute to recover." Your eyes brighten as the droid chimes in.

He straightens and formally hands you your journal back. "Well, it was nice signing your journal." Your stomach cues the butterflies as you take it back, your fingers unwittingly touching. "I wish you many more victories. In the future." You bow slightly, the heat stinging your ears. "Thanks. Same to you (A/N)." You're grateful you're facing the ground as you back away.

Your name sounds like music when he says it.


	2. Filing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pilot visits the Medibay.

Your mind drifts to him at any given moment. The fabric on some resistance fighter's shirt looks like something he would wear. When you write in your diary, you flip to his special page in your autograph journal and smile at his page. You note that he's a talented artist and in your diary you begin to make your own little doodles of BB-8 and sometimes him, but those are scribbled out by you in case someone finds it.

Today is the same as you sit in Medibay with some nurse who's gossiping with the main nurse about Finn, the Storm trooper. They mostly grasp at rumors of who's sleeping with who, the grief over Han Solo, and the hope that the young Jedi will come back with Luke. You busy yourself with filing, this time in alphabetical order, wondering who's sleeping with your pilot. His name only pops in the conversation when they speak of the recovering storm trooper, briefly. 

Footsteps down the hall hush the gossips. You look up casually, the silence noticeable. There is nothing really to do around here except talk. Your eyes quickly return to the files seeing it's Dameron. He looks serious as he struts down the hall. This is the first time you've seen him since he signed your autograph book. You hide a nervous smile, curious to know if he recognizes you. 

"Poe Dameron, what can we do for you?" The first nurse asks warmly. "How's Finn?" The other nurse answers right away, "He's doing well, but his wounds still hurt him."   
"Has he woke up yet?"   
"No. Not yet. You'll be the first to know." He grimaces, resting his hands on the counter before looking over in your direction. 

Your eyes glue to the files now, unblinking. You don't know how but he's turned you into stone. Your mind blanks and your fingers fidget. "You're the autograph person, (A/N) right?" He now asks you, moving to your direction. The nurses resume their chat, giggling about Chewie.

You nod, a nervous smile coming to your lips. You can feel a moisture on your forehead and a fever sweeping your body. Can he see it too, you wonder as his returns the smile, though his is confident. "I didn't know you were a nurse." You quickly shake your head. "No. I'm just helping out." You frown, "There's not much to do now however." 

The duties of the day had been fulfilled. You all play the waiting game, some patients call for one of you. But there hasn't been a disturbance in about an hour.

"There's always something to do." He rests on the counter. Your mind betrays you as you think of his arms. They looked muscled, safe and secure, how small you would feel inside them. He probably gives the best hugs. However you keep your eyes above, his forehead. You can't imagine staring into his eyes without becoming flustered. 

"What are your ideas?" You ask, trying to sound normal, flirty even. But your voice comes out higher and awkward than intended. 

He rests his finger on his chin and you glance at it before returning to his eyebrows. He looks down at the desk, wondering if he can see anything worth doing. Instead your self consciousness goes up speculating where his gaze resides. Instead his eyes flick up to meet yours. You curse in your head, wanting to disappear now, but there's nowhere to go. 

Poe sits up, looking over to the wall. "I guess you could finish your filing." His bored expression is still a masterpiece as you stare at his profile. Urgent beeping from down the hall change the expression. He smiles wide, kneeling down to the BB unit. You wish he'd smile at you the same way. He stands up, turning to you.

"I'll let you get back to work, (A/N.)" He pats the counter before following BB-8 out. You say good bye wishing you could go with, but you stay still. Once he disappears from sight, you melt in your chair, remembering all the little details. The nurses notice, but only laugh to themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the nice comments and stuff. I'm still trying to get a hand in writing Poe and writing in second person. Tell me what you think!


	3. Rations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a hard day at work, the reader goes to the living quarters, but stops to hang out with Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer than usual, but that's cool. Again thank you for the comments! :') Hopefully everything is good. Tell me what you think again~

Kitchen duty is the worst job you have on base. Usually you work it twice a week, always on the busiest days and shifts. They make you eat first before you start, a light portion to get you through and after they send you home with leftovers, but there are some days where they run out of food. You hate those nights because you stomach leaves you up growling louder than usual.

Today you're on dishes duty. It's a mundane job. Your filled the sink with bubbles and hot water and another with disinfectant. You wear gloves which makes the experience a bit uncomfortable, as water and cleanser get in and coat your hands. But the night goes on. People are usually silent when they bring their trays up to you or they happily talk to their friends.

Your friends ate earlier. You know because they chat you up when they leave. After, you barely notice anyone's face as you add more to the water. You pause for a breather, looking out from your tiny window. Everyone looks happy as they speak to each other in inside voices. Tonight's dinner was your favorite and your stomach growls as the smell wafts to your area. The other washers keep their heads down and focus on the pile. Your pile is low and you go grab some more trays from one of them. They nod in appreciation and you return to your sink.

The night passes by slowly, but the dishes keep you busy. You can tell it's a busy night by the amount of trays. You hope that the kitchen doesn't run out. On your break, you sit near the back, too tired to notice anyone. The floor is noticeably cooler than the kitchen. You pull out your diary, deciding to write early rather than before you go to bed. Though now discreetly in public.

You start off complaining about some rude person from earlier. They try to cut you in line, but you successfully defend yourself. After that, your day crawls by. You note that you have not seen Poe all day, though you also admit that you weren't exactly looking for him. You close the book tightly when you hear your name being called back. You sigh, knowing your shift was almost over now.

* * *

The cleaning staff and the manager are the last to leave. You sneak into the kitchen as the cook is leaving for the night. "Do you have leftovers?" You ask shyly. Usually the leftovers are out, ready to be taken. She shakes her head. "No, I believe we were too busy tonight, love." Your heart sinks, but you nod and return to the back.

* * *

You walk to your quarters hearing laughter coming from a group of pilots near the fleets. Your pace quickens. Your stomach growls louder than their job. You ignore it, thinking you have some portions left over at home. You glance over in passing, seeing that the group contains your favorite pilot. You smile to yourself. Somehow seeing him makes it all better. The hunger subsides for a moments. He looks over and sees you too, giving you a acknowledging smile and then waves you over.

You take a deep breath as you walk over. You're the only walking, and he did notice you. At least that's what your mind tells you over the anxious thoughts that he's just waving not inviting you. "(A/N)!" Your heart skips beats hearing him say your name.

He pats the area next to him. "One of my favorite nurses. Guys, this is (A/N). They're a volunteer nurse." The others welcome you cordially. "Volunteer you say?" One pilot asks. You agree. "But I also help out wherever The Resistance needs help." You hesitate in adding more. These guys wouldn't care if they saw you again, you tell yourself. You sit beside the pilot, realizing how tired you are.

"So you help other elsewhere?" Poe asks you. You can't help but be surprised that he would even ask. "Yeah. Like today, I was in the kitchen. Well, dishes duty." He nods, looking genuinely interested.

"So you just do whatever they tell you to?"  
"Yeah." The corners of his mouth goes down, but he shrugs.  
"Gotta do what you have to survive." He says after a moment, returning the majority of his attention to his friends. Someone is sharing a story about a job they've done.

You use this moment and stare at him, trying to commit his face to memory for the scribbled out doodles later. Poe's eyes occasionally cut to you, making you look away. You're happy that the fire is the only light so he can't see your face flush. The stories are funny, but the words fly over your head with the terminology. You also thank your lucky stars that your stomach stops growling, loudly at least. The louder growls are conveniently covered by the guffaws of the friends.

He leans over to you during one of the stories. "Are you okay?" He questions, seeing the weariness on your face. You paint on a smile, "Just tired from work." You murmur, not wanting to cause attention to your fatigue. You didn't trust your voice either. He's so close, you can feel the warmth of his body against your own. You imagine him pulling you in a deep embrace and maybe, just maybe, he would lift your chin up so his lips could lock with your own.

Poe pulls away slightly taking the warmth with him. "Oh, if you're tired you can go. Didn't mean to keep you." You frown, wanting to stay. Just a moment longer with him... You open your mouth to object when your stomach answers for you.

The loud gurgling noise from your stomach pulls heat to your cheeks and you wish a black hole would come and swallow you up. An apologetic smile comes to his lips. "Did you eat earlier?" You nod silently, sighing, "But it wasn't enough." You confess, getting ready to excuse yourself when he turns away from you.

He pulls out a ration from his bag. "Here." You shake your head. "No, it's fine. I have some -" He smiles, "I want you to have it." He rests the plastic wrap in your hand. You lower your head, embarrassment consuming you. He nudges you gently. "Thank you, Mr. Dameron." He chuckes, "You can call me Poe, (A/N). And you're welcome."

You want to lean forward and kiss him, but he already returns attention to his friends. You remain by his side for a few more minutes, your eyes feeling heavier as each second passes. Their stories morph into a game plan for when the First Order and Rey come back. Your head rests on the pilot's shoulder as you let sleep take over you.

Until he moves forward, getting more into the planning. You jolt up, your hand resting on his thigh. Dameron glances at you, checking on you. You remove your hand, biting your lip. Nervousness filled your veins as you wipe your hand on your pants. "You alright?" He inquires. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna head back." He nods as you stand. "Take care of yourself, kid."

You wave, frowning when you start heading back. He didn't call you by your name. You held on to his portion, thankful for his kindness. And then you remember, he did let you fall asleep on his arm. He barely even knows you, but he let you sleep. You reach your door, exhaling deeply.

You'll see him tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also if you want to send me pointers and/or ideas you can message me here or on my sw tumblr: heywhatsupimpoe.tumblr.com. um may the force be with you lol


	4. Sketches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader draws BB-8 and Poe Dameron and makes plans for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is longer and bit dialogue heavy so bare with me lol the reader opens up a bit.

You finally have an off day. You can barely remember the last time you read the bulletin board and see nothing beside it. You make your way back to your room. Just because there's not a duty doesn't mean that you're completely free. Long hours take a toll on your room you notice as you close the door. You're surprised your roommate hasn't said much to you about the mess, but they've been busier than you, rarely finding time to breath.

Cleaning's a simple task. You place your clothes in the assigned hampers and then deal with the trash that's accumulated between you two. You didn't like the walk to the trash compactor because it's fifteen minutes from the quarters and usually your roommate accompanies you so you are at least a bit entertained. But the weather is nice enough with a gentle breeze and reminds you of home. 

The thought sends a chill down your spine. You only came with the Resistance on a whim. Your parents suggested you volunteer because scholars like seeing that on resumes. It helped that your friends had signed up as well. You remember your mother crying, wishing you good health and luck, and you brushing her off with the promise that you'd be back before she even knew it. 

You toss the bag of scraps in the smelly compactor. Your mind however cannot shake your family's fate as you wonder their last thoughts before the First Order ultimately ended the system. You walk back, fighting back tears. You're bewildered you still have tears to cry over their deaths. 

To stop yourself for crying, you catch your mind thinking of Poe and last night. He was so close to you. You could practically feel his warmth as the sun shines. You wrote about it as soon as you could in your diary, even drawing a sketch that you didn't scribble out. You detail more about his arms, the way he looks at you, and the kindness he showed. You curse to yourself. Thinking of him made the lump in your throat small and the urge to cry slowly disappear. 

You go to sit at the open area near the water, trying to figure out what to do since you finished your chores. The base buzzes behind you as everyone else has duties to fulfill. The calming waves in the water serve as your background noise as you decide to journal. There's not much to write about as today lacks events. You doodle, hoping that inspiration will come to you to pen something. 

You sketch a portrait of a person with a likeness of yourself, but idealized. It's on accident and you add realistic details. Beeping and a bump snap you out of your drawing world. The small droid looks at the drawing and then back you and then enthusiastically dings. "Yeah, it is me. Thank you." You smile, knowing that means he's not too far behind. BB-8 beeps, looking at the empty space near your sketch. "I'll draw you too." 

You lightly draw a circle and a half and glance over at the BB unit. It's almost like the robot poses for you. You smile to yourself, knowing you didn't have to draw it by just staring. You already practice from Poe's original. Once you're done with the major details, BB-8 signals you that its master is on his way. 

You take a deep breath, to steady your breathing and heart beat. The droid leaves you to meet him. You finish a small detail as you hear his footsteps. You stand up, wiping your backside from the dirt and debris. His lips hold a sincere smile. You return the smile, wondering if he actually is happy to see you. He pats your shoulder.

"BB-8 tells me that you've drawn them?" You nod, opening your journal. He takes it gingerly out of your hands. You nervously put a stray hair behind your ear. You're more anxious about his critique than the fact that he's here. 

His smile widens the more he looks at it. "You're really talented." He points to the picture of you. "That you?" You nod again, curious if that's what got the smile. 

"You should draw me sometime." He winks and you laugh.   
"I can draw you now if you want." You suggest, the wink actually catching you off guard.   
"Do you have the time? You did mention how busy you are last night."   
"I'm not today." You reply, quickly. He raises his eyebrow, smiling. "  
Alright. Do I sit here or?" You nod, sitting yourself. 

He sits, patting his BB-8 with a warm grin. "Do you want me to pose for you?" He inquires, resting his hand on his chin, trying to look intriguing you guess. "You don't have to." You answer, chuckling as he changes his pose to a stern stare. You don't like that one, but you don't say anything as you get to work. 

"Why are you free today?" He asks after moment. You shrug, "They didn't put me on a shift. So I guess I'm off." He nods, returning to his stern pose. "What about you?" He relaxes again, "The X-Wing needed a check up." He sighs, "Gotta be good for the next battle." You agree silently, drawing from life was never your strong point, but you try your hardest to get him right. 

He tries to keep still, but idly talks to his droid, only moving when BB-8 comments on his posture. 

You look up from your paper and into his brown eyes. You've never noticed the thick eyelashes that frame them and how the light reflects in his irises changing the color in the lit section to be a reddish-brown. You wish you had your colored pencils with you, but you didn't plan on being out here drawing, especially drawing him.

You finish with the basic outline and get on your knees to walk to him. He looks at the sketch and pats your shoulder again, squeezing. The touching is new, even if it is your shoulder. 

"The hair is the only thing I would fix." He says after a moment, his hand leaving your shoulder. "More voluminous." He runs his hand through his hair. The tiny robot beeps in agreement. 

"Lovely." You reply, scooting back to your spot. He doesn't pose this time, sitting back, resting his hands on BB-8. You only have to fix his hair according to him. 

He has a lot of hair you note, as you fix it to the now tousled look thanks to his hands. You think about running your fingers through it, imagining his hair being soft and thick. Your fingers could get lost in it all the while kissing him. But you shove those thoughts to the side, finishing the hair and move back to him.

"Better." He smiles. "I've never actually had my portrait drawn before." The pilot admits, staring at the sketch himself. It's not your best work of him due to your nervousness, but he likes it nonetheless. "Can I keep it?" You giggle, "Sure." You carefully rip the page out of your notebook, cautiously facing the journal towards you. The next page contained more doodles: of him, some flower, another of him in a different art style, a list of things to do, and of course BB-8. 

You close the journal and hand him the page. "Can I also have the one of BB-8 too?" You pause, BB-8's portrait is next to yours since that's where they looked at the most. It didn't help that it was close to the edge seam. 

"I'll try." You reopen your journal, anxiety filling your veins as you exposed the older doodles and your portrait again. "You can just take the page out, if that's alright with you." 

Your heart skips too many beats and you feel a bit light-headed. "Even with my picture?" "Yeah, why not?" He answers with a gracious grin. "Then I get to show off me, BB-8, and my favorite volunteer in the Resistance." You blush. Was this flirting, you ask yourself as you rip the page out. 

He takes the page delicately from your hand. "Well this was fun." You hide your surprise as he stands. Poe holds a hand out for you. You take it, holding on tight as he pulls you up. "We should do it again sometime." You offer, doubting he'd have the time to do this again. "Definitely. Next time I'll bring my own sketchbook." 

BB-8 dings, and you step back. "How about the day after tomorrow?" He asks, folding the papers up. "I think that'll work..." You don't know your schedule, but you are confident that if something should happen that changes the plans, he would tell you and you him. BB-8 beeps again, more urgently. "Well, I'll see you." He touches your shoulder for the last time and follows the droid out.

You step back again, trying to sort out what just happened. And now you two made plans to do this again. You head back to the living quarters, not knowing what to do with yourself. Your mind reels with ideas of what you two could do next time. It isn't a date, you repeat as you unlock the door. 

Either way, you make sure that you get your nice tunic out to wear in two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and your comments. I made a side blog for star wars stuff so my blog won't be so cluttered: officialstarwarstrash.tumblr.com and yeah~ happy holidays.


	5. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small change in plans for the sketch session with Poe and the reader--in front of the reader's friends.

The next day passes by unbearably slow. You had time to take a nap between shifts, not even bothering with getting under the covers. The nap satisfies you enough, but only woke to see an hour passed. 

* * *

At dinner you see Poe but he's not with his usual company of pilots. General Organa and C3PO are around him and their faces are serious. You don't worry about it, sitting with your friends. They talk about their day and laugh about whatever someone said. You participate just as much, but not as enthusiastic. You're keeping your meet up with Poe secret. Your friends would swoon and tease you forever if they knew.  
  
Instead you talk about your laundry shift and pass the gossip you heard along to them so they could decipher. Your eyes shift over to where the captain and General were to see them missing. You curse in your mind, figuring that you could have worn that nice tunic today instead of getting your hopes up for tomorrow.  
  
Your friends, of course, know the situation before you and excitedly giggle. "That stormtrooper, ya know the cute one. I think he's awake." You smile and relax. That's why he left you guess, but then furrow your brow. "How do you know?"  
  
"Everyone's talking about it (A/N)." Your friend waves their hand in the air as if wiping the question away. "Now we just have to wait for Skywalker and the girl to come back." You all nod in agreement, but your stomach does flops. How would you know if tomorrow was on? You are happy that Finn is awake, but...  
  
You finish your food without thinking about it. You'd see tomorrow. After dinner, you and your friends walk to the quarters together, poking fun at one another. The jokes lighten your mood as they are mostly about home and their romantic interests. Poe's name does hop around a few times. Your heart skips beats at each mention. But your friends haven't talked to him before, just idle looks and gawks. The secret and unsureness weighs heavy on your core.  
  
"(A/N)!" You stop, hearing your name. Your friends stop too, wondering who would need you at such an hour. You turn to see the aforementioned jogging towards you. A nervous smile cracks your lips as shivers run through your body. Well now they know you two knew each other. Their eyes go to you to him and then to the droid rolling behind.  
  
He slows when he's closer to you. The pilot puts his hands on your shoulders looking into your eyes. "Tomorrow," your heart already sinks, knowing he was canceling, "can we do it later? Like around this time?" Your heart picks itself up, confused, but content with the change of events.

"Yeah, sure. That can work." He smiles, patting your back. "That's great! See you then!" And he's gone, headed towards Medibay of course.

A silence falls on you and your friends. They're frozen in time, minds trying to figure out what tomorrow holds for you and Poe Dameron. You, in return, try to hide a giddy smile and blush on your cheeks.

"How does he know your name?" One friend asks, breaking the silence.

"And why are you looking like that?"

"Are you and him a thing and you're not telling us?"

Their questions come all at once and you flinch as they sound like accusations.

"He's my friend, I think. It's nothing really. We're just going to hang out and draw."

Another scoffs, "Draw? Really, (A/N)? That's all you're going to do? At this time?" Their hand gestures to the now dark sky. "How are you going to see?"

"Oh..." You say, thinking that your nice tunic wouldn't be enough now.  
  
"How'd you score a date with him?" You all slowly begin to walk to the quarters. "It's not a date." You adamantly say, more so to you than them. "He let me draw him and BB-8. And he wants to do that again, I guess." You don't know and does sound silly now drawing at night, but you cannot convince yourself otherwise.  
  
"I want details." They giggle to each other. "I bet he's a good kisser. Confirm that for us, okay?" You hide your face with your hands as you start to head to your room. "Bye (A/N). Have fun tomorrow." They say in a sing-song manner. You hurry to your room, returning to your bed.  
  
Your heart returns to its normal pace and you begrudgingly push yourself out of your bed to see if you had anything better to wear tomorrow. In case it is a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for the support and stuff :') u guys get all the kudos. haha. if this is weird, please tell me. it's 4am and im on a roll.


	6. Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day for Poe and the reader's hangout comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He knows.

You wake almost every hour. Your conscious restless thinking of him and what the next day brings. You could see him smiling, bringing you in for that kiss, but every time it's different. The first time is awkward with nose bumps and small laughs between you two behind the X-Wing. The next is quick, initiated by you. The smile on hips lips is gone. He's caught off guard and when you pull away, regretting the action, he won't make eye contact. The third time, you're sitting in his lap; sketchbooks tossed to the side. He says you're beautiful before kissing you passionately in the open.

After that kiss, your mind finally relaxes, for the moment and you dream of your friends and past events. All is better for you to drift to sleep than Poe Dameron and his lips... And then he's back, cuddling you. 

When you wake this time, it's morning. Your roommate is up, getting dressed. They smile politely to you and finish. "Gonna be a busy day, right? You're in Medibay today huh?"  
You sigh, you were. "Yeah."  
"Lots of people are going to be coming in and out because of that Stormtrooper." You roll over, not ready to leave your bed.  
"Yeah." 

They leave soon after, leaving you to the remnants of your dream. But the details are now foggy. You have nothing left to do but ready yourself for the day.

* * *

You don't wear the tunic just yet, not wanting the day to ruin it. Medibay is quiet when you arrive. But the anxious looks tell you to be prepared for otherwise. The list is short again with medicine regimes for a few patients. And then in bolded letters is Finn. You shake your head. That wasn't for you of course.

The first patient smiles when he sees you. You don't understand his language, but he understands you. He's kind and understanding, taking his pills easily. When you leave, he slips you a piece of his native candy. The next patient isn't as kind. He's older and you can understand bits and pieces, but it's mostly cursing. He almost throws the medicine at you when you hear a beeping come from the other room. Quickly you leave, knowing you'd have to come back with another dose for him as you hear the clatter on the ground.

Finn is sitting up in his bed, wincing. You look around before entering, seeing if the main nurse would be around, but to no avail. He stares at you for a moment and then lies back. "When will the pain stop?" You open your mouth to answer, but hear the steps of his nurse and excuse yourself to get the other dose.

Once the dosing is done, you're left in charge of checking people in and out. General Organa smiles when she sees you and chats you up a little before heading to Finn followed by her droid. Besides her, it's mostly people wanting to see Finn for just a glance and then Organa's people. 

You're doodling on a blank paper when Poe visits. You tell yourself it's for practice for later, but then your friend's remark dances in your mind. It'd be too dark for you to see. "(A/N). How are you?" He rests his elbows on the counter. 

"I'm okay." You flip the paper over. It was a sketch of him. He notices, a smirk coming to his lips, but says nothing. "How are you?"  
He shrugs, "Okay I suppose. How's Finn?"  
"He can accept visits from people he knows." You say almost robotic.  
"He knows me." Poe straightens, raising his eyebrow at you.  
"I know." You admit sheepishly, "So many people are trying to see him today." You tell him his room number and watch as he goes.

He didn't mention later, but neither did you.

* * *

You hurry to your room to change as soon as your shift ends and dinner is over. You'd be a little late, but that was okay. As long as you looked the part of Poe Dameron's date. But it's not a date, you remind yourself as you slip the tunic over your body. It fits you nicely, showing and concealing enough. You quickly fluff your hair and pinch your cheeks and hurry out, almost running into your roommate. 

You apologize, before almost running out. When the cool air hits your face, you relax a little. You start walking to the area from two days earlier, your mind however far from relaxed as it thinks up all the possibilities that could happen to you tonight. As you get closer, you can see he's already there with his back towards you. You frown, thinking you're too late. 

He looks up when you sit beside him; your actual sketchbook tight in your hands. "I'm sorry I'm late." You begin, your hands starting to hurt from your grip. "You're not that late." He says, resting back on his hands. "I arrived a few minutes before you."

A silence falls on you two. You can make out that he didn't bring a sketchbook of his own however. Butterflies awake in your belly, as you loosen your grip. The dreams you couldn't remember flood your mind for a second. "Finn's still healing, but it's good he's awake." Poe says after a moment. 

You nod, "That's what the nurses talked about today." You open your journal, and find a new page in the darkness. "You don't have to draw me." He says with a smile. You pull out a writing utensil and simply say, "I'm not drawing you." 

He turns to you, his eyes on your tunic, then flick up to your face. "What are you drawing then?" You begin with a simple eye and expand from there. You're drawing Finn, trying to imagine what he looks like when he smiles. Your only reference of him is earlier when he was in pain. Poe scoots over closer to you, having a pocket flashlight. You breath through your nostrils heavy with a small smile. He came prepared. He holds the flashlight, watching as you draw. Your fingers shake slightly and you hope he doesn't notice. 

Rather, he chuckles. "Finn." You look at him with appreciation in your eyes. "Yeah." You continue, but he stops you. "His smile is off. May I?" You nod, handing him the book and pencil as he hands you the flashlight. He is more careful drawing the former storm trooper. He looks across the water, trying to remember specific details. 

The light bouncing off the paper makes his face glow with a tinge of yellow. His brown eyes change into cinnamon orbs. When he looks down, his hair slightly falls on his forehead. Instinctively, you push it back. It is soft just like you imagine. You pull your hand back immediately. He only grins and thanks you for your help. 

You hold the flashlight tighter and focus on the drawing instead of his face. You didn't notice him start his own drawing next to Finn. It's you. Your stomach does somersaults at the sight. 

"You didn't have to draw me either." He winks, nudging you. "I wanted to." 

The pilot continues and occasionally glances at you for reference. "That drawing you made of yourself is a lot better than this. Sorry (A/N)." You laugh at his apology. "You're doing a good job, don't worry."

He starts your hair and carefully draws your hair texture to get it right. "What did you end up doing with those drawings anyway?" You ask, curious. 

"Mine is my room. Thought it would be weird to keep a drawing of myself around. I'm not that vain." He smiles, giving the hair more of a style. "Yours and BB-8's are in my X-Wing. Hey, where did you draw those by the way?"

You're confused on the question and sit on your knees. "What do you mean?" 

"Like this isn't the same journal." You blush, recognizing what he meant. 

"Oh... You read that." You return to your bottom, cursing yourself for keeping a diary. Who over the age of thirteen still did that anyway? 

"A little bit." He gives you a reassuring glance. "I won't tell anyone your secret." 

You're shocked at the mention of a secret. He is your secret. Well he was. "What secret?" 

You rack your mind trying to remember what you wrote. The smile turns to teasing as he keeps his head down drawing your body now. The referencing glances taunt you as you're aware that he's looking at other places besides your face. "At first it was a little confusing. The sentence started on another page. But then you had more." 

He stops drawing, putting the sketchbook beside him. He takes the flashlight from your hand gingerly and turns it off. "You like me, (A/N)."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's more to come. But I didn't want it to be really long again :')


	7. Galaxies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sort of confession happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters in one day! This will be the last update for the day. My head is mush but that's good.

You struggle to find words. You did like him and your own words you wrote about how he let you sleep on his shoulder and if you should read in on that and the small ration Poe gave you when he heard your stomach. You don't remember exactly what you wrote on his page but you have an idea: a curiosity of kissing him like the urge you had. 

But you doubt he could read your handwriting. You've been told your handwriting is too messy to decode. He leans over to you. You could smell him barely as his hand goes to your face. He put on cologne. "Do you like me back?" You ask him, trying to remain calm. 

He pulls back, bringing the sketchbook back to his lap. "Let me finish this." You frown, confused. What did that mean? He didn't answer, turning on the flashlight and handing it to you. You hold the flashlight confused but stay silent. He finishes the portrait and then starts another, this time of him.

You want him to answer your question. A smirk plays on his lips. The more seconds pass by that turn into minutes hurt. You want him to confess his feeling already. You accidentally did because he wanted that drawing. Of BB-8, not you. He draws himself looking at the sketch of yourself with those big chocolate eyes.

"What do you think?" He asks you, leaning back. You look over. The look in his eyes was romantic, as if he can't get enough of looking at you. You smile to yourself. "Your hair... It's more voluminous than that." You say softly. He chuckles, resuming drawing. 

He concentrates, his tongue out as he fluffs his hair. "But other than that..." You move to your knees again, leaning against him. He glances at you. "You're perfect." The words are barely audible, but he hears it. He shakes his head. 

"No one is perfect, (A/N)."

You rest your head against his shoulder. "You're my favorite pilot." Poe chuckles.  
"I'm everyone's favorite."  
You roll your eyes, "Of course." He adds finishing touches to his drawing. 

"Here you go." He hands your sketchbook back. 

You sit up, sighing. "You never answered." 

He smiles to himself. "You're so adorable." He lies back in the grass, the smile widening. "So many stars." You lean back with him. 

The sky is breathtaking. You've never seen so many before. You remember the cloudy nights back home. And here, you barely had a chance to notice until he's here. "How many galaxies have you been to?" You ask, glancing at him before returning your eyes to the heavens. 

"So many..." His voice trails off and you feel his fingers tangle with yours. You begin to count how many stars and systems you see. After ten, you lose your place in the sky. You point up to the sky. 

"Have you been there?" He thinks for a moment. "No, wait." He points in the same general area.  
"There?"  
"Yes."  
He pauses. "I think so. Do you want to go there?"  
You laugh. "How?" 

He turns to be on his side, still holding your hand. "I'm a pilot remember?" You cover your face, embarrassed. "Oh yeah." He chuckled, leaning down.

Your breath hitches in your throat, as you exhale. He kisses your forehead. "I forgive you." You roll your eyes again, removing your hand. Your eyes meet with immediate electricity that shakes your core. Poe sinks down, letting go of your hand to put his hands on either side of your head. You both close your eyes, you tilting your head to him. You could feel his lips barely brush yours when you hear a calling. 

"Dameron! Captain! Finn has requested you!" It's a night shift nurse. You don't know her voice and you return to lying on the ground. He remains still, pushing himself up. As the nurse gets closer, he rolls over to side and sits up facing the nurse. "Is he alright?" 

"He's alright, but he has a question." 

He doesn't hesitate with Finn. "I'll be there in few." The nurse glances back at you and then hurries back to Medibay. When she's out of earshot, the captain turns to you. 

"We can go to that system tomorrow, if you'd like." He holds your hand. "Okay..." He smiles, quickly pecking your cheek and standing up. 

He holds a hand out for you. You take it with a smile as he lifts you up. The aviator gives you a quick hug before leaving. 

You watch as he goes, your face still tingles from almost being kissed. He does like you, you tell yourself, as you slowly sit up, trying to get the grass out of your hair. After a moment, your legs finally get the feeling back in them and you stand, wobbly. You have grass stains on the back of your tunic, but you don't mind them. 

You hurry back to your room, wanting to think about him some more and to frame his drawings. Your roommate isn't there, which you're glad about as you sit on your bed. You debate going to your friend's room to tell them all about it, but decide to stay in. You'd see them tomorrow, and you'd definitely see Poe again. The thought made you warm as you thought about going some place other than this base together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One hundred kudos! Holy cow! I'm so happy you guys are enjoying this! Oh my goodness, like thanks you guys. iloveyou


	8. Tips and Trips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader's friend offers some input for new behaviors for the reader's next date. And then Poe and the reader fly out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one/dialogue heavy.

You give in to temptation and leave your room. Your friend is up, in their pajamas, ready to sleep. She’s rubbing her eyes, a yawn making her lips form a perfect oh. But she knows what this means.

“He kissed you?” She guesses, letting you in.

You shake your head, sitting on the floor while she sits on her bed. She raises her eyebrow, thinking that means the worse, but your face is dry and your face is flushed from all the smiles you shared.

“What happened then?” You couldn’t help but smile feeling the warmth in your stomach. Your mind floods with words that you want to say and how the whole evening went better than you expected, but…

“We did draw.” You say with a sigh. You even bring the sketchbook with you and flip to his page. You get on your knees, crawling over to them to show the masterpiece of a doodle it was to you.

“Did he draw this?” You nod. “Including himself?” She points to the lovelorn Poe in the background.

“Yeah.” You take the sketchbook back, looking at the drawing again in better lighting.

“Are you sure you didn’t kiss?” You giggle. “I’ll get to it.”

 You sit back, sighing. You remember his smile, the way his lips part when he _was_ going to kiss you. The thought drives you mad and you smile bigger.

“He brought a flashlight. So we started drawing and then he started talking about that sketch I did of BB-8 and myself.”

“What about it?”

“I gave it to him. I mean, he asked for it.”

She raises her eyebrow.

“You have had more time with the captain than you’ve told us.” She taps her chin, “Interesting.”

“It’s not all that interesting.” You sit back, closing the book. “We’ve just met a few times after and have just clicked.”

“Whatever. Continue.”

You roll your eyes. “He starts asking me questions about the source of the paper. I didn’t draw it in this. I drew it in my diary.”

“You have a diary?”

“I don’t think I should keep one anymore.”

Your friend chuckles behind their hand. “Did someone find it?” She asked, singsong like.

“Sort of. The back of the drawing had my confession of wanting to kiss him.” She leans forward, intrigued.

“So he tells me that he knows how I feel about him. I ask him if he feels the same and instead doesn’t answer.” You pause, looking up at your friend.

“What does that mean?”

She waves the question away, “I’ll figure it out once you tell me everything.”

You sigh, frustrated. “Fine. So instead he starts drawing himself in the background of his picture of me and then when I ask again, he calls me adorable and looks up at the stars.”

“Well you do look cute tonight.” She winks before adding, “I would have worn a different top though.”

You ignore the comment, thinking your tunic was good enough. “So I ask him about his travels and he tells about a few and then invites me to go to out to one of those planets with him.”

Her mouth opens, turning into a yawn. After the yawn subsides, she beams. “You are definitely going on one of those trips with him.” She slips on the floor in front of you. “Can you imagine it? You and the best damn pilot in the universe? Alone?”

Your eyes widen. “I need to know how to defend myself.” She frowns. “From what exactly?”

“Enemies.”

She laughs, steeling yourself with her hands on your shoulders. “(A/N). You have an opportunity of a lifetime here.” She stares you in the eyes, trying to get the thought in your head.

“He’s interested in you, enough to ask you to go to a different planet. No! A different system!”

She lets go of you, standing. “You need something to wear to make him know that this is a date and not you being naïve and what was it? ‘Adorable.’”

She opens her closet and she searches for something that you could wear.

“I don’t need ‘attractive’ clothes to be considered attractive to him.” You start, watching as she takes clothes you’ve never seen before and lay them on her bed.

“Anyway, what if he doesn’t even care about my looks and just likes talking to me?” She turns to putting her hand on her hip.

“Why can’t it be both?”

You can’t argue with that and rest on the ground. You’re actually more nervous about the flying than anything else. You didn’t think his X-Wing was a two person kind of aircraft, but you could be wrong. Or did he plan to fly in a different craft? Poe could fly anything.

“What does he see in me?” You ask aloud.

“Well, what do you two talk about? What have you done in the past few times you two interacted?”

You think. “He likes the way I draw. He calls me his favorite volunteer.”

She returns to the ground, an excited but confused smile on her face. “Why does he call you that?”

You shrug. “I don’t know. I never asked.” You figured he was just friendly, but now…

“Goodness (A/N). You should have told me earlier about these interactions. I could have given you tips.” You snicker, thinking of her tips. They wouldn’t have been the ones you wanted for sure. “But I’m here now. Open up your book, take notes.” You rolls your eyes as she begins.

“Number one: Laugh at everything he says.”

“That’s generic and dumb.” You retort, shaking your head.

“Whatever. It works.” She flips her hair. “Remember that one guy back in the Republic?” You grimace.

He was a farm boy coming to the city for the first time. You and your friends noticed him because he looked hopelessly lost. They decided to help him because of his attractiveness. You went along because you had nothing better to do and giving him directions seemed harmless. You all accompanied him to the grainers though boring, the ones pleased by his aesthetic made it a point to pretend to be interested. Your friend used this pointless and dated advice that this poor boy fell for. You didn’t know the exact details past the point of returning home, but she always used this anecdote as a reason to listen to whatever relationship advice with you and your friends.

“We almost went all the way, but his father called him.” She explains bored. “But that’s still more than almost kissing.”

You frown, “But at least there’s feelings there between Poe and I.” She puts her hand on her chest, offended, but doesn’t say more. “Number two: Don’t make it all about you. Ask about him.” You write it down, thinking of the stories he could share.

To place a counter point, you ask, “What if he doesn’t ask about me?” She thinks for a moment.

“Leave him.”

The answer shocks you, unexpectedly. “Why?”

She leans in close. “If he doesn’t want to know about you, then what’s the point?” She pulls away, crossing her arms. “Don’t chase when there’s no hunt.”

Her face brightens. “That’s number three.”

“What does that even mean?”

Your friend sighs, “Don’t force something that isn’t there. You’d both be wasting your time anyway.”

It’s good advice that you write down, reflecting down on it as you could hear her mind trying to work.

“Oh! Look into his eyes often, but don’t stare creepy.” She taps your leg to get your attention. “Like this.”

She looks at you through her lashes, and then tilts her head slightly. When she does it, she looks like a pouty model. You imagine yourself doing it would look like you’re more so confused on what is going on with your life.

On further speculation, it’s accurate.

“You try it.” You hesitate, trying to mimic her. She hides her disappointment by fixing your posture and moving your head lower and tilting it up. “Hmm. Poutier.”

You pout but her frown becomes more apparent, a wrinkle appearing on her forehead. “No like that. You look like a crying baby. Maybe try a smile. Give me a smile, gorgeous.” She teases.

You start grin. She smiles back, fanning herself. “Oh my! I bet if you do that Dameron tomorrow, he’ll be sure to kiss you for real.” She then taps the journal.

“Write that down. That’s number four.” You return to your normal posture shrugging. “It’s not really comfortable.”

“Well, we’re the same height. I imagine looking up at him will be easier, yes?” You nod. She debunks your counterpoint easily, moving on to the next point.

“Touch him as much as you can.” You’ve heard that one before. “Like casually. Let your arms brush or something.” She yawns glancing at her bed. “Honestly though, if you’re all alone with him, it should be easy enough to seduce him.”

She stands, stretching. She laughs as she relaxes. “Plot twist: He seduces you.”

You roll your eyes, figuring it’s your cue to leave. She looks at her bed, and the clothing choices. “I’m sure whatever you wear will be good enough.” You give her a quick hug before heading to the door. Before you leave you remember the main detail for the reason you came.

“He did kiss me on the forehead. And he was going to kiss me. A nurse came and we had to end it short.” She chuckles. “Typical. Good night, (A/N).”

“Good night.”

* * *

He doesn’t give you a time on when to meet. You’re on edge when you go to your first shift in the laundry rooms. You know you wouldn’t see him until the end of it. Hopefully he will still be up for it. All day, you’re remembering the four tips your friend gave you (purposely ignoring the first tip). You don’t talk to anyone while you fold, not wanting to spill the classified meet up.

You’re walking to lunch when you see him in his uniform. He looks ready, standing against his Fighter. You did have a second shift today. Then again, you didn’t want to go.

You make your way to your pilot. He sees you and smiles. It warms your heart thinking the smile is just for you. “Are you waiting on me?” He shrugs,

“Depends on if you’re ready.”

Your eyes glue to his ship. It’s bigger in person. “Can we both fit inside?” He contemplates for a moment, looking up at the cockpit.

“Maybe. I’ll make it work.”

He brings you in for a hug. You can tell from the tightness that he really wanted to give this hug with this intensity and you wonder what he really wants to do once you’re alone.

He climbs in first, settling himself enough. He waits for you as you carefully climb in. You see before you sit in that there is only room for one and flash him a quick look.

“Don’t worry.” He says with a reassuring smile.

You ease on his lap. The next five minutes are spent trying to get comfortable. You end up scrunched, sitting facing the side, resting your head against his shoulder. He has his arm wrapped around your back and the other is in front of you on the wheel.

“Are you comfortable?” He asks, looking down at you before starting the ship. You nod, your heart racing. You’d be at your shift the next day. You hadn’t missed a day yet anyway.

The aircraft vibrates at lot more than you expected, but Poe remains unfazed, his eyes and hands steady, occasionally glancing at you. You’re awestruck being in the air and the vastness that is space. “I’m going to go really fast okay.” You nod, preparing yourself.

The ride here for you was bumpy. You remember getting sick and your friends helping you feel better as you made it back to your seat. You wouldn’t get sick with Poe. You didn’t want that embarrassing memory with you.

You close your eyes and hold on to him feeling the X-Wing quiver around you. He drives without any struggles, his arms in return tightening around, securing you.

The vibrating slows and you open your eyes gently. “Ah.” He says, a leisure smile on his lips. There’s mountains and a field of green below. “I’ve not been here before in a while.”

He hovers for a moment before slowly landing. “We won’t be here long anyway.” He opens the top allowing you to move a little more.

You sit up, glancing around. Irritation grew gradually in your heart at the fact that you couldn’t get out to explore, but you knew why. Not everyone is friendly in the galaxy. It’s dangerous for anyone in the Resistance to go to certain systems and planets when they could be First Order sympathizers. The situation is polarizing for some: either you’re with us or against us.

Poe didn’t bring any weapons besides his vehicle. There wouldn’t have been much room anyway. But the landing area is clear of anyone and here the day is already over. Their moons light the sky, brighter than the one at the base. You peep over at the pilot, wondering if this was his idea of travel.

“I guess we could get out for a moment.” He says quietly to himself. You get out first, staying close to the X-Wing, terrified yet rapt with this planet. The field is not all green, filled with different exotic plants in vibrant colors you don’t think you’ve ever seen before. Poe climbs out after a brief minute.

You turn to him with a smile, still spellbound. He’s wary but smiles back. You notice the weapon on his hilt and sigh. He must have put it out of the way so you’d be comfortable. “Better safe than sorry.” He explains, a small scowl coming to his lips.

You take his hand to calm him. “Are you alright?” Your touch is enough to bring the cheery look in his eyes.

Maybe you are naïve, you think to yourself as you two walk off a bit from the Fighter. You stop at a small clearing.

“This is place is so pretty.” You coo, the flowers still stealing your attention.

He nods, “It’s even better in the daytime.” He points to the North. “Their sun is a magenta, almost purple color.”

“That could explain why these plants are so different.” You murmur to yourself.

“Yeah.” He seems distracted. You take this moment and decide to use one of the tips given to you. “So,” you stretch before sitting down. “Commander Poe Dameron.” He sits across from you, simpering. “How’d you get to be where you are now in life?”

His face softens as he searches for the right words. “I guess I’ve always wanted to be a part of the good guys. And flying.” He chuckles.

“My parents were a part of the Alliance and fought in the Civil War when I was a baby.” You lean in, listening. He’s a little older than you guessed, but you didn’t mind. It put him around thirty. You’re a bit younger than that, but you keep that fact to yourself since he’s still talking.

“My grandma took care of me then. Oh! I started flying when I was around six. My mother, though proud I was into it, was so nervous. I mean, a child flying isn’t unheard of, but it’s still dangerous.” He hesitates.

“What about you?” There’s more for him, and you want to push to ask more, but don’t want to ruin this idle time.

“My father was a Senate in the New Republic.” His eyes peak up. It sounds like a bigger deal than it was.

“His marriage to my mother was political one, but I think they did learn to like each other.” You shrug, continuing.

“I was put on the path to become doctor, but my old brother had that calling so they changed me to be a scholar. I’d teach at those universities.” You were taking all the right steps for that path.

“I only joined the Resistance because my mother said it would be a good volunteering experience and that it’d look good on my resume.” You laugh to yourself. “That’s really all.”

He nods, turning around and resting his head on your lap. The gesture causes you to blush. His hair tickles your legs. The pilot looks up at you with wonder in his eyes. “Did you go to school to get better at piloting?” His lips crack a wryly grin.

“Of course. Graduated top of my class.”

Your fingers idly braid some of his hair together. “And you?”

“Classes for piloting?” You ask, with a wink.

“No, smart ass.” You share a laugh, and you’re tempted to kiss him, but you stay where you are.

“I was about to graduate. This is like an internship on awry.” You explain, resting you hand on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t have been the top, but I was in the top fifteen percent.”

“So you are a smart ass.”

You kiss the top of his forehead in response. A silence falls on the conversation. You fear it’s because of kiss that he hasn’t spoken. But his eyes are closed with a content look. He licks lips.

Poe begins to hum to himself, rocking his legs to the side. You’ve never heard the song before, but enjoy the quiet music. You, after much resistance, reach out and begin to make small flower crowns out of the fauna around you. He sits up, stopping his humming. You stop your third crown, figuring something is wrong. His hand goes to your cheek, a smile on his lips.

The worry washes away as he brings your face closer to his. You hold the flowers in your hand tight, anxiety and adrenaline filling your veins. You tilt your head to the side, wanting to avoid your nose bumping into his. His lips press against yours. They’re chapped and dry and he begins to open your lips with his tongue.

You let go of the plants in your lap and wrap your arms around his neck. His tongue then dances with your own. You feel his hands reach around to your back and then lower. You break the kiss with an audible smack, uncrossing your legs. The pilot whines, wanting more. He brings you to his lap and you wrap your legs around his waist.

You bring your lips back to his, closing your eyes. Your fingers get lost in his hair as he deepens the kiss. There’s an urgency underlying his movements. His breath is hot against your own. Your heart races, the beating loud in your ears. You bring your hands down to his cheek and then his shoulder, smelling the green from the flowers on your hands mixed with the product of his hair and his natural musk.

He pulls away this time, resting his head against your own. You don’t want the kiss to be over, but the cocky smile on his face tells you that there will be more of these moments to come in the future. You giggle, resting your head on his shoulder, waiting on your heart to relax.

Poe sighs, “That was really nice.” That’s an understatement to you. His hand goes to your chin to tilt your lips up to his face again. They meet for a few seconds and then he ends it.

“We should head back.” You frown, not ready to return to real life and deal with the consequences of skipping.

You scoot off his lap, gathering your crowns. He stands, looking out over the horizon. You stand on your tiptoes, putting a crown on his head. It’s a bit small, but he wears it like a king. “Thank you.” You lean forward, catching his lips against your own. He smiles as you kiss his designer stubble on his chin. His arm wraps around your waist and you two begin to walk to the X-Wing.

You giggle to yourself, not even having to do much of those tips your friend gave you. He glances down at you before climbing in the ship first. When you get in, you’re more comfortable, admiring his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really insecure about the kissing scene so any feedback would be great lol. thank you again for reading you guys :')


	9. Relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the date with the reader's friends and Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I named two of the friends mostly outta clarity.

When you two arrive back at the base, it’s already dark. You blink, surprised by how much time did pass. You get out first and him quickly behind you this time. BB-8 is the first to meet you two, its beeping admonishing. “We weren’t gone too long.” Poe says in defense, crossing his arms. 

The droid beeps back, rolling back and forth. “Don’t use that tone with me. We came back in one piece.” He turns to you, “I’ll see you later, (A/N).” He kisses your forehead briefly before following his BB-unit out. 

You walk away slowly, restraining yourself from running. Dinner is still going on and you have time to get something quickly. Your friends are about to leave, but seeing you they change plans. You sit near the back, your smile never leaving. Your cheeks hurt, but you’re afraid you’re frozen smiling. However, if that’s the case, you do not mind at all.

Your companions surround you, excited and inquisitive energy radiates from them as they sit. "Where were you today?" One asks, though he knows exactly who you were with. They lean forward, straining to hear over the noise and bustle of the cafeteria. You exhale, recalling the look in Poe's eyes before you two kissed.

"I don't know the name of the planet." You say innocently. You'd ask the pilot later where you went. Your friend, Ciro, rolls her eyes, "Did you use any of my tips?" You nod, "Only one."  
"Which one?"  
You shrug, "The question one."  
"Ah, number two."

Your friends' curiosity slowly builds to frustration as you leave them to fill in the details as you eat a little. "Did he ask you questions too?" Ciro asks, her tone pressing. 

"Of course. I didn't have to use rule three." She smiles, looking at the others. You continue to eat, not realizing how hungry you were. 

They talk among themselves in hush tones. Rolling your eyes you continue to eat. "You two didn't just draw again?" Ciro asks, narrowing her eyes. 

"No." You laugh, wishing he was here by your side. 

"What did you do then?" Your friend, Sabik, inquires, resting their hands on the table. You finish eating the majority and look at them sighing. "We just talked about where we hail and how we got here."  
"And?" Another asks. You smile remembering his head in your lap, the humming.  
"I made flower crowns and he hummed a song." You reply, before finishing the rest.

The hushed talk continues as you look around the canteen. You don't want to admit it, but you're looking for him. You want him to come in and take you away to a different world. Maybe this time his home world. 

"And you two did that all day?" 

"Well time I guess went by faster? I don't know. We weren't gone for long, but..." You'd ask him about that later. 

"You two obviously did something." Sabik winks. You chuckle, getting up to throw away your scraps and then head back to your room. 

They follow, want in their eyes. As you head out, you decide to ask them about their day, what you missed. "Nothing really happened. There wasn't even good gossip today, but I guess you were busy making it." 

You snicker, shaking your head. "Oh, whatever."

The night air is cooler than the inside, or is it the blush on your cheeks that makes the temperature more apparent? Your friends don't push while you're walking. Mostly because they wouldn't be able to hear whatever details of the date you decide to share.

You on the other hand are still looking for the pilot. "Did anything happen with Finn today?" You ask, figuring he'd be by his friend's side. "He is the same as before." Ciro says, shrugging. "I haven't heard much about him today."

You head to your room, friends still following. "If my roommate is here, you'll have to learn about my travels later."  
"Or you could come to my room!" Ciro volunteers. The others agree, though her roommate hesitates. "As long as you don't make a mess!" 

Your roommate isn't there so they crowd inside. You sit on your bed, watching as your four friends sit around ready for you. 

The cheek hurting grin comes back to your lips. "He kissed me." The group practically cheers, patting your legs. "How was it? Did anything else happen?"

You laugh along with them, the excitement in your eyes. "I mean, it wasn't just a peck on the lips or anything." It was definitely more than that. "So you two made out on some random planet?" You begin to answer but a knock silences you all.

You tsk, figuring it was a noise complaint, though it wasn't quiet hours in the quarters yet.

You get up to answer it, as your friends discuss their theories on whether the pilot is a good kisser or not. You look through the peephole. Your mouth drops a little to see Poe. You turn to your friends, shushing them. "It's him!" You whisper. They quiet, looking at you with big eyes.

You exhale, trying to keep calm as you open the door, only enough so he could see you. He smiles seeing you. "Can we talk?" You nod, slipping out. Your friends hoot quietly as you leave. 

He looks behind you, catching a glimpse as you close the door. You follow him out to the front lobby area. "Is something wrong?" You ask, looking up at him. "Nothing is." No one is in the lobby except for you two, and he catches your lips with his own. 

Your hands intertwine and he pulls away with a smile. "Did you enjoy the trip today?" You laugh softly, "Of course I did." You like the space between you getting nonexistent. "Did you?" He backs you against a wall. "I had a very good time with you today." 

Your lips meet again, parting for his tongue to enter. You close your eyes, feeling his hands go going to your hips. Your own rest against his chest and side. You feel like you're the only ones in the world, again. You open your eyes, hearing a noise coming from the left. Poe pulls away, looking over too. 

"You heard that too?" He nods, stepping back. His face is flushed and you guess yours is too. "Was there anything you needed?" You ask after a moment. You are not ready to go back to your room to explain to your friends what he needed from you and why your cheeks tinge pink. 

He shakes his head. "I just wanted to see you again, before I retired for the night." You smile, "Was everything alright with BB-8?" He nods, "Just worried about me is all." He leans forward kissing your cheek. 

"I should let you get back." 

The pilot starts to leave. You watch, for a moment, before calling his name. "Yeah, (A/N)?" He turns, surprised you called him. You close the space between you and then ask, resting your hands on his chest, "What are we?" 

The question has been nagging you since you two shared the first kiss. You didn't think much of it at first because you didn't want to ruin the moment. You also knew the questions your friends would ask. You two had been spending quite a few moments together, but only today became a bit more intimate. Now that the question left your lips, you stare up at him, trying to mimic Ciro from the day before. You struggle to stay calm, worried that he would just say friends. 

He blinks, his mouth opening slightly. It feels childish now to ask if you can officially call him your boyfriend. He walks back over to you, touching your shoulder. "I mean we can see where this whole relationship thing takes us." The pilot's eyes show that he's nervous. 

"Are you okay?" You ask, your hand resting on his. 

"It's been a while, but I'm willing try if you are." You rest your head against his chest, hiding a smile. "We should go out more though. Find new places." He says, wrapping you in a hug. You nod, then kiss his jaw. He pulls away again. "We'll figure it out." You say, as he starts to walk away. 

Alone, you rest against the wall, trying to sort what just happened. You're now the significant other of Poe. You giggle to yourself, returning to your room. Your friends are still there, this time on edge. 

"You were gone for a while." One proclaims. "Not really. Only for a few minutes." They sit back as you rest on your bed. "What else happened? And also what happened just now?" 

The smile consumes your mouth as you turn over to face them. "We kissed and then came here... And just now, we kissed again." You run your fingers through your hair, the wall matting the back a little. They don't think anything of it however. It's not noticeable. 

"Wait, you guys just kissed again?" You nod, sitting up. "More than once." They ooh at that fact. 

"Anything else?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for the feedback yesterday. also if you have any ideas to either continue this or other feedback, ya know, u can leave a comment or message me on my tumblr: officialstarwarstrash.


	10. Caring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn finds out about the new relationship.

You pause, not sure if your relationship status should be revealed yet. They lean in close, waiting for your answer. A smile paints on your face, thinking of him. "We're going to try this relationship out." You sit back, pulling your knees to your chest. 

You haven't been in a relationship since you started at the university. Your father forbid it, your studies were more important at that point. Your mind flashes back to some school boy love and your tearful goodbyes as you went your separate ways. You think for a moment. You didn't know what you two should do for other times besides kiss in private and walk in public. 

"Relationship? Wait. He's your boyfriend?" Sabik asks, standing up on their knees. You nod, a blush appearing on your cheeks. "Yeah." You wonder if Poe's having the same conversation with his friends. They squeal. You sigh, covering your face. Your heart races, feeling full of joy.

Ciro pats your knee. "So what's next?" You shrug, not sure. "We'll go out more."   
"Like where?" You think for a moment. "I don't know. We could go to more planets." 

They all sit back, thinking on their own. "Do you also paint or only draw?" You hesitate. You don't want your dates to all be artistic, but you can't help it as you nod. 

Ciro sits up on her knees. You could see the excitement in her eyes. "Paint. Each other." You laugh nervously. Paints were expensive and now rare with the New Republic destroyed. You couldn't bring yourself to say yes. She senses that and sits back, allowing the others to come up with ideas.

After about ten, only eight of which you like and write down, they wind down. "When will you two hang out again?" 

"I don't know yet." You didn't give him an exact date to give each other time to breathe, but now you wish you had at least gotten a time frame. "Tell us when you know so we can help you plan!"  
"Yeah, I want to be a part of the loop, (A/N). You're having all the interesting adventures."

You laugh, following them out. The quiet in your room is unsettling as you rest in your room, thinking about your day. It feels like a few weeks has passed, but it's only been one day. You lie in your bed, staring up at the ceiling. The unnecessary thoughts invade--doubts about the validity of your relationship, the trueness of both of your hearts. You grab your pillow to cover your face, shutting out the negativity. You don't even notice when you fall asleep.

* * *

A week passes by and the initial newness has faded. You two have been busy, separate. Finn is awake now and you only start to see Poe when you're volunteering as a nurse and he visits. It makes you sad, but after your shift, and if he's around, you two sneak small kisses near his X-Wing.

On this day, you're looking over your list to do in Medibay. Since Finn doesn't need special treatment like before, he's on your list. It's the first time he's on there. You gather his medicine, deciding to go to him first instead of the stubborn older patient. 

He's already awake. When he hears the door open, he sits up, a smile on his face. The smile disappears when he sees it's you. "Don't look so excited for you medicine." You say, putting the tray down. 

"I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else." He apologizes sheepishly. You grin, shaking your head. "It's alright. No one likes to see the nurse." The former storm trooper shakes his head no.   
"It's not like that. I'm waiting for my friend." 

Your smile grows bigger. You started to wear your hair in nicer hairstyles on Medibay days just in case he would show. 

"We're waiting for my other friend to come back." You nod, listening, but barely. You knew about him and his friends. The pilot would tell you bits and pieces about his day and his conversations he had with Finn. You give him his medicine, silently, mentally preparing yourself for the next mess.

There's a knock on his door that snaps you back to reality. You open it to see it's Poe, here earlier than usual. His smile is big, but surprised to see you. "You're here?" You nod, "Working like usual." 

You step out of his way and he walks in. He closes the door and quickly pecks you. His arms wrap you in an embrace. You laugh, pulling away. "Not in front of the patients." You whisper, looking over at the door. 

Finn watches, confused. When you glance at him, he looks away now embarrassed. You shake you head. "I'll leave you two alone." Poe groans, letting you go. "Are you busy tonight?"   
"No."   
"Let's do something then." He asserts, as you gather your equipment.   
"Maybe." You wink and excuse yourself. You hope Finn wouldn't say anything to the other nurses.

* * *

You're stuck with the job of restocking rooms and prepping. You're opening a new package of gloves when beeping makes you stop. You wait for it to end, figuring another nurse would help, but it doesn't. You put the box down and head towards the room. You slow seeing it's Finn's and you waver. You know what questions he'd ask, but he still was a victim of circumstances. Still no one comes, and you enter. 

"Yes?" He frowns slightly when he sees you. "My back is starting to hurt again." 

You check his chart for his pain medication. His actual nurse hadn't administered it for the day. You only gave him the antibacterial to fight infections that he may have gotten from the wounds. "I'll go get your nurse right away then." He shakes his head, waving his hands at you. "Wait! Before you go," he winces and you shift your weight, not wanting him to be in pain for longer. Burns take forever to heal. 

He relaxes before talking. "How do you know Poe?" You exhale, knowing this question was on the way.   
"Maybe this could wait until after you get your back in order."   
"What do you mean by that? You kissed him in front of me." 

"Well, he kissed me first." You correct him, now anxious that another nurse might come down. He lies back, thinking.   
"That doesn't make it better. That's not what nurses do."   
"I'm a volunteer." You retort. Once it left your lips that you weren't a real nurse, he sits up again, too quickly, and cringes.

"Please relax." You say, carefully touching his uninjured shoulder. "Stressing yourself out over trivial things will make your wounds worse." You chastise, not wanting his new wounds to be on your head as you guide him back down to the bed.

Finn flares his nostrils, part from the pain and the other from the frustration at you. "I don't want you to hurt him." He says after moment.   
"Why would I hurt him?" You ask, backing off. 

In fact, you had worries that he would hurt you. He's popular with people and some people could get the wrong impression that his friendliness is something more. That thought sometimes startles you as you worry that you were just as naive. 

"I don't know. But he's really trusting and I don't want you to hurt him." You smile to yourself. At least he has caring friends. 

"I won't." You promise, "And I'm sorry that he kissed me in front of you." 

He rolls his eyes, looking out the window. "Have you heard anything about Rey?" He asks, as you leave. You shake you head. "I'd probably be the last one to know." You admit, and then track down his nurse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully Finn isn't too OOC. He just cares a lot abt his friend.


	11. Pillows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader and Dameron hang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets hot.

You don't know where to meet him, so you head to the hanger, figuring he'd be in his default area. Your mind doesn't let Finn's words go. You don't want to hurt Poe. Your relationship is still so new, you cannot fathom it. You figure Finn is just overprotective, not sure if there's truth behind his words. As far as your knowledge went, Finn didn't know Poe for long. He wouldn't know if someone else before you had hurt your pilot.

The thought stops when you see him. He's busy helping a mechanic on his X-Wing. You knew you heard flying today in the bay, but thought it was just your imagination. They're arguing. You hear bits and pieces until you get closer.

"I filled it up all the way and prepared for the flying demos like you asked." The mechanic says, cowering slightly.

Poe shakes his head, "The tank was empty when I got in today. Had to emergency land." He's keeping his voice low, but you could hear the edge. You frown, uncertain if you should approach.

BB-8 notices you, signaling the pilot. He turns, mid-sentence, softening when he sees you. The mechanic notices you and sighs. "Later then, Dameron?" He nods slightly.

When they leave, he walks over to you, pulling you into a tight hug. You hug him back, not as hard simply because you don't think you can. "Change of plans." He says with a sigh, pulling away. You look up at him curious.  
"Are you busy?" You ask. He shakes his head.  
"I was going to fly us somewhere nice. But we're having technical difficulties."  
"We don't have to go anywhere nice." You reply, a smile on your lips. He kisses you gently.  
"Of course." The droid beeps at you two, causing you to pull away. His hand stays on the small of your back as you turn towards the droid.

It tells you what Poe doesn't. The X-Wing didn't have enough fuel, and when they went out to test out the new upgrades, they almost crashed. "I'm a good pilot. We lived anyway. I don't want to worry you too much."  
You glance up at him, frowning. "You almost died?"  
"We lived." He gives you another hug. You hug him back, this time tighter. You trust that he knows what he is doing when he flies, but still.  
"Please be safe." You murmur after a moment. He presses his lips against your head.

"I'll always worry about you." You say into his shirt. Pulling away so you could talk, you ask, "So what now?" You're not ready to retire for the night already. He breaks the embrace, putting his arm around your shoulders.  
"I don't know."  
Your mind thinks back to your friends' suggestions. "We could build a pillow fort." BB-8 beeps happily at the idea.  
"I guess we could do that?" You rest your head on chest.  
"That was a dumb idea." You say, though muffled by his flight suit.

He laughs, "It's alright with me. I haven't made one of those in a very long time."  
"You actually want to do that?" You inquire, holding on to his shirt.  
"Why not?" The droid kept making noises, hinting at places to get pillows and a structural sound plan to keep the pillows up.

"Let's do it in my room." He says, beginning to walk. You keep your head down, your face heating up. You've never been in his room before. "What about your roommate?" He raises his eyebrow, smirking.  
"BB-8? They've got the plan, (A/N)."  
"Oh."  
"Do you have a roommate or something?"  
You nod. "They're okay. They don't talk much."

Your roommate was assigned to you. They're not a volunteer. They work under the General and keep many details to themselves. "I don't mind it much." You say as you two walk.

"I don't think I could handle that. I need someone I could talk to. Good thing I have BB-8." The droid beeps at the mention, adding a comment. "I do not talk that much!" The pilot says offended.

* * *

His room is on the second level. You knew of the second level, but didn't know anyone that lived up here. You assumed correctly that important people lived up there. He opens his door, revealing a room similar to yours, just bigger due to one bed and a charge station. The desk is messy, papers scattered and miscellaneous items. You recognize your drawing among the mess. He starts to tidy it as you sit on his bed.

"I'm sorry. I haven't planned for you to come over yet." You smile, watching as he brings the papers to a neat stack.  
"I don't mind it." BB-8 dings at that sarcastically. The pilot shakes his head.  
"Maybe having a quiet roommate would be nice sometimes." He finishes the small clean up and kisses you cheek. You're nervous, the small realization that you're in his room.

He turns to the BB unit. "What's first?" The droid starts to give out directions. You two start gathering the materials, stopping when you count the pillows.  
"We need more." You say, "I'll be right back with mine." You leave quickly, hurrying down the steps.

In your room, you gather your pillows. You pause before leaving. Would it be too early for you to spend the night? You wish Ciro was here to give you tips. A light bulb goes off in your head as you leave to go to her. You need more pillows anyway.

She was in her room, writing to her sister who was in Tatooine. You're slightly jealous that she still has family, but don't mention it.  
"(A/N). You look flustered. Why do you have your pillows?"  
"Two things," you say, not waiting for her to give the okay.  
"Poe and I are building a pillow fort and I need more pillows and also, we're in his room building it. Does that mean I'm spending the night?"  
Ciro laughs, "If you're asking me for a pillow you can have one of mine, but only one! And I want it back tomorrow."  
Her roommate also chips in with an excited smile.  
"You're doing my idea?"  
You nod, "Yeah. BB-8 loved the idea. I can't stay long, but I need to know if this is an invite to sleeping over?"

You don't want to have to come back down to get clothes in case it was.

"Feel it out." Ciro pauses before giggling. "I mean, I'm sure you'd look cute in his clothes."  
Your eyes widen at the comment and you hit her with your pillow.  
"Ciro! This is serious!"  
"And I'm serious. You're both adults." You shake your head and take their pillows.  
"I'll see you later."  
"Bye, (A/N)." She waves, closing the door behind you.

You hurry back up, worried that you spent too much time asking questions. When you open his door, BB-8 and Poe are trying their best to build a fort without the needed pillows. They're both determined; Poe glancing at the diagram BB-8 has projected.

You drop the pillows on the ground, closing the door quietly. He smiles seeing you. "Good job, (A/N)." He takes down his attempt and begins to start over, with your help. BB-8 gives more directions, rolling around the room to stay out-of-the-way.

After about ten minutes, you two step back, admiring the work. The unit doesn't wait, hurrying inside. There's room for all of you, but cramped. Poe goes in first and you follow. You smile at him, appreciating this. The pilot's hand crawls over to yours and he holds it. You look over at him, smile unwavering. He leans over, kissing you. You lean back, careful of the fragile surroundings. His hand moves from your hand up to your waist. You break the kiss, aware that you two weren't alone still.

He continues, kissing your jaw and then down to your neck. Your eyes cut to his droid who looks back at you. You mouth, "Do you want to go?" It nods and you move to be in its master's lap to open the entrance.

Once BB-8 is out, his lips return to your own. You kiss him back, trying to match his fervor to no avail. He presses on you, pushing you on your back. You shift in this new position, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your hands go to his collar, unzipping the suit. Your consciousness on the other hand argues with itself, weighing your options. The pillow fort couldn't handle that kind of activity on the inside and you two only had a week under your belt in the relationship. But this was nice, and you didn't want to stop.

He shrugs his arms out of the top. His hands go to your hair, pulling your head back to expose your neck to him. You whisper his name as he comes back to your neck. Your eyes close, your hand unzipping more. His mouth rests on your collarbone leaving small marks. You reach the end of the zipper and your arms go around his neck.

He shifts to your side, kissing your lips passionately, his hand resting on your waist and going lower. You break the kiss, deciding. "Maybe not tonight." You say, frowning. He looks at you, raising his eyebrow.  
"Maybe not tonight?" He asks. You repeat yourself, hoping he wouldn't be mad. He smiles, kissing your forehead. He removes his hand from your lower stomach, moving it higher. "Okay."

Your face is flushed as you casually sit up. You doubt he'd let you spend the night now. "Are you okay?" He asks after a moment. You nod, flashing him a genuine smile. "Yes. It's just that, I don't want to move too fast." He nods.  
"I can respect that." You catch yourself looking at his arms. They're toned. You don't know what you expected, but you approve silently.

You rest your head against his shoulder, not sure what to say now and waiting for him to kick you out politely. But he never does.  
"Do you want to sleep in here or in the bed?" He asks, breaking the silence. Your heart somersaults at the question.  
"The bed." You say after a moment of deliberation. He smiles lazily and crawls out.  
"Did you bring any clothes to change into?" He inquires as you follow him.  
"I thought about it." You admit, seeing the droid was charging itself.

"That's okay." He gets out a big tee-shirt and hands it to you. "That'll fit right?" You nod, knowing that your friends would have a heart attack if they only knew.

He shrugs out of his flight suit, tossing it in the hamper. You avert your eyes and crawl back inside the fort to change. "You don't have to go in there." The pilot says hearing your shuffling as you take your top off. "It's alright." Your hand slight touches the roof, causing it to cave it. You ignore the inconvenience and put his shirt on. You sit, kicking your pants off.

You crawl out, seeing that he was dressed in long pajama pants and a tank top. "Fits you well." He comments before taking the two foundation pillows out. The fort topples over with a soft thud. He throws the pillows on the bed and you pick up the blanket, wrapping it around your neck like a cape.

He leans down, brushing his lips against your own. "My favorite superhero." He says, sitting on his bed. His hands rest on your waist, bringing you closer. "When the Fighter is good to go, where do you want to go?" He asks.  
You shrug, "Somewhere safe where we can explore."  
"I have a few places in mind then." He kisses you gently, breaking away to lie down. You rest beside him, smiling.

You bring the blanket to cover the both of you. Poe's arms wrap around you, bringing you in for a cozy spoon. You like this change of pace, being in his arms is enough. He gingerly kisses your forehead as you two begin to retire for the night.

"Good night." You say, resting your eyes. "Good night." You both sigh, content. You could sleep this way forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u have any date ideas pls share lol im pretty boring when it comes to dates.


	12. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is reminded of what's gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly reader centered this chapter.

He wakes up before you. The pilot awkwardly unwraps your arms from his chest and the artless movements as he climbs over your body wakes you up a little. Nonetheless, you roll over, covering your face with the cover that smells like him. He doesn't say anything to you, sitting on the edge of his bed. You slowly drift in and out of consciousness, the sleep calling you back, but you also need to start your day. 

You roll back over, watching with the cover up to your nose to be sneaky. His back faces you as he pulls his shirt over his head. He still has bed hair and you're slightly jealous on how his hair still looks great. 

"What's your secret?" You ask, your voice coming out a little hoarse. He turns slight, raising his eyebrow.   
"What?"   
You sit up, aware that you were in borrowed clothes, his shirt bagging low in the torso area.

"Your hair." You tug at the back of the shirt, bringing the collar up. He chuckles to himself, running his hand through his hair.   
"I don't know. Today is a good hair day." He continues getting dressed. You watch for a few more moments, your legs like lead. You don't want to go yet, but you both have responsibilities.

Tossing the cover from your legs, you make your way out of his bed. BB-8 starts up, expecting the room to be more of a mess. You stand, stretching. Poe stands in front of his mirror, his hand running over his chin.   
"You should grow it out." You say, sitting back down. 

Hindsight twenty twenty, you wish that you had brought clothes with you. You didn't want to wear your clothes from last night, but had no other choice. 

"I've thought about it." He says, gathering his shaving supplies. "But it gets itchy after a while." You collect your clothes from underneath the fallen pillows, listening to the pilot and his droid hum some song. A warm smile crosses your face. The humming sounds natural and you wonder if they always do this. 

You face the wall, pulling his shirt from you body. For a moment you feel exposed in your undergarments. You want to glance over your shoulder to see if he's noticed, but you stay fixed, arms making movements at your shirt. As you pull the fabric over your head, you notice his arm snake by. He's just grabbing the borrowed clothes, but the thought doesn't leave you that he did see you. 

You quickly put the rest of your clothes on, not wanting to dwell on it. He's leaves anyway to shave. BB-8 stays in the room. It dings at you while you pile the pillows on the bed. "I slept alright. How about you?" The response noises are dismal as the droid shakes its head, upset that the fort didn't last all night. 

"We can make another one." You smile, lowering yourself to be on the same level. "I just have to return these to my friends who let me borrow them." 

It beeps sadly still. "What if I invited them the next time we build one so it can stay up longer?" It perks up immediately, rolling back and forth. You stand, knowing they'd be equally as excited. You decide to leave when Poe comes back from shaving, feeling awkward to leave without saying good bye. While you wait, BB-8 goes on talking plans for the next fort, bigger to fit your friends. 

"Not that big!" You say with a laugh, "We'd need a lot of pillows and covers for that."   
The droid is sharp, beeping in response. You sit back, resting your hand on your chest, not expecting the quick wit.   
"Well, we'll see." 

Your eyes flash up and your face brightens when he comes back.

"What is your job today?" He asks, putting his supplies down.   
"I think I'm in the cafeteria." You hide a frown, looking at the bed. "I'm sorry I made your bed messy." You say, changing the subject and putting your pillows back on the ground. 

"Nah, it's fine. Don't worry about it." The pilot comes over, clean shaven, and straightens out the covers.

"What are you doing today?" You ask, picking up your pillows. He shrugs, "Fix the X-Wing and test the upgrades." You sigh, looking over at the door.   
"I guess I'll go then."   
"Can I get a good luck kiss?" He puts his arms out to the side and you laugh, standing on your tippy toes to kiss his cheek.

His arms wrap around your waist, though the pillows are between you, causing a barrier. He doesn't mind, leaning down to kiss your happy lips.

The pilot walks you to your room, BB-8 following close behind. The base hums with activity as people prepare for the day. A few passersby say hello to Poe and BB-8, rarely giving you a glance. He kisses your cheek as a good bye.

You throw the pillows on your bed when you walk in, quickly changing into fresh clothes. You'd return the pillows after work, you didn't have any extra time. Your roommate is already gone.

* * *

The shift starts off slow. Most people have already filtered through when you arrive. You're not late and you begin cleaning the sticky dishes. There's not many so you don't mind. Once the morning meal ends, you and the dishwashers break for a little bit before the next part starts. 

The fleet vibrates the canteen subtly. You don't even notice until a cup falls. You pick it up, frowning as you put in the bin to be cleaned later. The other washers start talking among themselves. You hear the end of the last sentence as your return. 

"They say the First Order has been rebuilding itself."   
"They're like pests. Once you destroy one, two more come to replace it."   
You grimace as they continue.   
"But we can overcome. Good over evil always."   
One dishwasher rolls their eyes. "But how can we just stop this? If the Force didn't exist at all, we'd be safe. At home." 

This talk doesn't surprise you and they instantly drop their voices. This talk could be seen as heresy. 

You look around, hoping no one overheard. You don't want to be written up for blaspheme when you said nothing. 

No one comes and the person continues. "Think about it. There would have been no Sith, no Empire, none of this First Order."   
"But then there wouldn't have been any Republic." A quieter dishwasher retorts.   
"But we wouldn't have to lose our homes because of the side we're on." 

The thought scares you. The New Republic was all you knew. You couldn't imagine a universe that didn't deal with these oppressive tropes and governments.

The cook comes in, "Break's over. Now come help me prepare!" You all scatter, helping with the next meal. You did miss your home, you think as you help with the prepping of the pans. If the Republic had been spared, you would have gone back right after Starkiller was destroyed. 

Around now, you would be interviewing for some internship near the university that your father chose for you. Or maybe you'd be home, sharing the stories of Poe, Finn, and Rey to your family who weren't there to witness what you did. 

The thoughts fill your heart with grief, but you concentrate on the pans, ignore the vibrations above. The others have moved on, sharing bits and pieces of information about their old lives. You want to join in, but keep to yourself. You still haven't forgiven them for their early opinions.

Come midday, you're sitting around in the courtyard in the back. You can see the hanger from here and so many orange suits. They've been recruiting as many people as they can from other air academies who support the Resistance. You wonder which one is Poe as you watch a dark haired person run to an X-Wing. You haven't written in your diary since the sketch incident. You take this time to write, this time about your coworkers and the need to cry again.

You write fast, trying to get it all out before you're called back in. Your shift is almost over. You won't have to work the dinner shift today. You sometimes glance up, trying to find Poe again, but to no avail. You get most of it out when your break ends.

* * *

You melt into your bed, moving the extra pillows to the side. You miss them so much. You miss the way your mother always knew if something was wrong and knowing how to make you feel better. You miss your father's stern talks, the way your brother would misdiagnose your colds into something dire just to irritate your mother. But this is war and people die. Not everyone is spared.

A small knock at your door, causes you to stop. You wipe your eyes and ponder who that could be. You look through the peep to see it's him. You curse, wiping your face. You didn't know what he wanted. You didn't stop by the hanger like you usually did, going straight to your room after dinner. You barely spoke to your friends, brushing off Ciro's questions about your night.

You open the door to see his wide smile. "The X-Wing is all good to go if you want--" The smile fades. "You're crying. Why are you crying?" He asks, his face serious. You step aside so he could come in. His expression stays the same as he sits on your bed. You wipe your cheeks again, feeling stray tears run. 

"Just remembering family." Your voice is quiet as you sit beside him. "A conversation today just made me remember them." You say, looking away. You're embarrassed at your sadness. You should be over this, you tell yourself. 

The silence between you is deafening. You wonder why he hasn't said anything to make you feel better. His arm goes around your shoulders and you rest your head against his chest.   
"It's okay to cry, honey."   
The nickname makes your heart flutter. The validation however sends you over and you resume your sobbing. You expect him to stop you after a moment. He came here to take you out of this world, not listen to your cry, but he doesn't. Instead he sits back in the bed, resting his back against the wall. You cuddle up to his side, burying your face in his shirt. He smells like gas and dirt.

Once the bigger sobs subside, you look up at him sighing. 

"Tell me about them. More than what you told me before." He requests, his hand gently rubbing the small of your back. 

Without missing a beat, you tell him stories of growing up and the adventures around Hosnian Prime with your brother. He listens with a smile, asking questions about certain details. You appreciate that he's attentive. 

"I used to think that family was just something you have. Never really appreciated the notion that they loved me unconditionally." You're now resting on his stomach, looking up at the ceiling. "And just like that, they're gone." He idly plays with your hair. You bit your lip, to hold back more tears. "I'm crying like I just lost them yesterday." You say, wiping your eyes.   
"It's alright." You roll on your side, turning to him.   
"Thank you for listening to me." He grins warmly.   
"That's what I'm here for." You sit up, leaning forward to kiss him when you hear the door click. You pull away as your roommate comes in. 

"Oh. Sorry. Didn't know you had company." They say, their eyes going to the pilot. "It's okay. We're just leaving anyway." You stand, stretching. They nod briskly. 

You turn to Poe. "Where did you want to go?" You ask, gathering the extra pillows. He stands beside you, wagging his eyebrow.   
"There's this one planet my buddy's from. Says they have the best pub." You yawn, cover your mouth with your hand, attempting to not cause attention to it.   
"But maybe we should call it a night for today." He kisses your head. "You should probably rest."   
You frown, but he's right. Crying as much and as hard as you did tuckers you out. As much as you want to go, you know you'd just be a whining child wishing you could do what you want. 

"When then?" He thinks for a moment, heading towards the door. You walk out, holding the two pillows in your arms. "Next week? We could make a whole day out of it." You ponder that idea.   
"Maybe the week after?" You ask. For you the rules differed. You couldn't skip another day with two weeks notice. "I guess." He says with an exasperated sigh. You walk to the lobby with his arm around your shoulders. 

"Thank you for listening to me again." You say with a sigh.   
"You don't have to thank me for that." The pilot says, dropping his arm to his side.   
"Just give me a day that you can go and I'm ready." He says before heading out. You wonder where he's going. Probably to go get BB-8, you tell yourself realizing the lack of the droid in your cry session.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the suggestions! I might use a few and credit you in the notes :'). Happy New Year.


	13. Flowers for Finn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader's friends bring the injured flowers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finn deserves love too.

Days that feel like weeks pass. You sit on your friend's floor, listening as they talk about their day. You all have gathered for a night of quiet games and gossips. You're quiet, thinking of your pilot. He left this morning for a mission. You spent the night in his room, telling him much you'd miss him and kissing him. You lost count how many kisses you exchanged. "I'll come back right away. And straight to you."   
"What about your superiors?"   
"Well you're my little dove."   
You nuzzled his neck. You two were banned from pet names in front of your friends. The other aviators would tease you while your friends would make gagging noises. 

"Come back in one piece please, Captain." He laughs, kissing you again. You grimace, wishing he was here already. Ciro snaps her fingers in front of your face. "Are you there, (A/N)?" You blink fast, looking back at your friends.  
"They've been in a daze ever since Dameron left this morning." You blush, embarrassed. "What were you guys talking about?"  
"Our day. But I do have a question for you." You wait, knowing it was probably about your relationship with Poe.

"Is Finn seeing anyone?" You raise your eyebrow, surprised at the question. You did have nurse duties today. Finn kept asking you questions you didn't know the answer to. He asked about Rey and when Poe would come back.

"I don't know." You answer your friends. "He really just talks about Rey. Do you think they're a thing?"  
They shrug. "When do you think she's going to come back though?" The bigger question puzzles you all and you go quiet. 

"Do you think he can accept more visitors now? I want to bring him some flowers."  
"What kind of flowers?" You inquire.  
"I don't know. Those flowers that grow by the river." You all giggle.  
"I'm sure he'd appreciate the thought. He can accept some visitors now anyway." 

Their eyes light up, "Let's go pick flowers now then!" The group squeals, standing. You don't join in on the cheer, laughing. You imagine what the surprise on Finn's face would be seeing this group of people he'd never seen before with bouquets of wildflowers for him.

* * *

Your eyes linger on the hangar seeing the missing Fighters still out. Ciro pats your back. "Don't worry about him." She flashes a warm smile.  
"He's great at what does."  
You nod, "I know that. This is the first time he's gone since we started this."  
She sighs, "He'll come back victorious. You know that." 

The flowers looked a little dead as they start picking them. The night sky illuminates them just enough and you worry that the earlier smile from Finn would be more confused. They wouldn't be pretty flowers. 

"Should we give them to him now?"  
"Probably. So they won't be dead in the morning."  
Giggles erupt from your friend group as you head to Medibay. You hope that the former storm trooper would be up to witness this. 

The night nurses grin seeing you all. "Can we help you with something?" Ciro talks, batting her eyelashes at them.  
"Do you think we could visit Finn..." Her voice trails. She didn't know his last name. She turns to you so you could answer, but you shrug. Neither did you or the nurses. He didn't have one as far as you all were concerned. 

"I'll go see if he's awake." You all nod and wait, excited whispers leaving their lips. They mostly wonder what he looks like and if he'd like the flowers. 

The nurse returns. "You're just in luck. He's still up." They notice you and smiles, "Hello, (A/N)." You greet them with a small nod as you lead your friends to his room. You occasionally turn around to tell them to be quiet. Other patients weren't up.

You open the door, seeing Finn resting in his bed, his eyes half closed. "Hey, Finn." He sits up slowly, confused as your friends filter in behind. "My friends wanted to-" Sabik inserts themselves, holding the flowers tight in their hands. 

"Hi! I think you're very brave! I picked these because I figured you would like them!" They rest the flowers on the end of the bed. He starts to smile as the rest of them introduce themselves and lay the flowers next to each other. You pick up the bouquet and bring them up to him to hold. He has tears in his eyes as he takes them. 

"You guys are so nice!" He leans down to smell them. "Where did you get so many?"  
"The base has a lot." The colors are more bland under the stale light, but he appreciates them nonetheless. "Can I get a vase or something to keep them?"  
You nod leaving the room briefly. You hear your friends continuing to gush over him, talking about his achievements and his courage. 

When you return, he's holding hands with Ciro and another friend. "Thank you guys so much for this. No one would have thought to do this for me if I had gotten hurt in the First Order." The statement causes your friends to coo in happiness. You take the flowers that he rested on his night stand placing them in a spare tall container with water inside. Your heart warms as your friends also are misty eyed. 

Eventually, you have to leave. Your friends wait until you're outside to start talking about Finn. They rave about him as you walk back to the living quarters. Their crushes for him only intensifies. He hadn't mentioned Poe and Rey once. To their delight, he also mentioned that he didn't have any partner. You glance over at the hanger, seeing the fighters returned. 

You feel a pang in your heart, turning to your friends who sing Finn's name in praise. You decide not to go, seeing the hectic activity surrounding them. He'd find you when he wasn't busy.


	14. Pubs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and the reader go to a pub and have a nice date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it gets a bit nsfw towards the end. but it's light. ish. also dialogue heavy ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

You're walking from the laundry room when you see him. His back faces you and he's talking to someone you can't see. You can't help yourself. Last night you didn't go to him even though you really wanted to. You keep yourself professional, walking over to them. You see that it's the General and you slow. You hesitate. You hadn't talked to her since you asked her to sign your autograph book. 

She notices you with a graceful smile. "Ah, hello young person." You almost cower back, not wanting her to see you just yet. Poe glances over seeing you. He smiles immediately, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. Her attention returns to the aviator.  
"We'll speak more later. Report to Statura when you're ready." Leia pats your shoulder when she leaves. 

You stand still, star struck. "She touched my shoulder." You say, turning to your boyfriend.  
"Is that a good thing?" He asks, tilting his head. You nod, happily.  
"I've only talked her once. She signed my autograph book."  
"I signed that too right?"  
You nod again, "That's how I first talked to you." 

It feels as though it happened years ago. You remember the fear and anxiety in your heart as you approached him, but now a calm resides when you're with him. He tilts your head up to him, catching your lips for a quick peck. 

You smile up at him. "You're so cute," You say, nuzzling his cheek. He hugs you tight. You bury your face in his jacket, his scent now familiar. "I missed you so much." He states.  
"You were only gone for a day." But you felt the same. You missed him just as much, perhaps more. 

"What did you encounter on your mission?" You ask, pulling away from the embrace. He shakes his head, "I can't say." You pout, starting to whine. He laughs, kissing your head. 

"It's classified. But after the admiral looks it over, then I can tell you more." 

You worry, wondering what the mission actually was. "Did you get hurt at all?" He shakes his head.  
"No, it was really tame, nothing we couldn't handle. Anyway, do you want to go celebrate my success?"  
"Why not?" He holds your hand leading you to the hangar.

* * *

You're used to the turbulence that the aircraft goes through, but still close your eyes because that somehow makes it better. You didn't know this world again, but put your trust with Poe. He lands smoothly and pats your back. "You can relax now." You exhale, looking over at him. "Flying is still so new to me." You say, as he gets ready to get out.

You get out before him, in awe of the environment. The fauna around almost suffocates you, with insects you've never seen, but instinctively step away from them. There's a small path and you look down it to see a sleepy town not far from the landing spot. He jumps out, landing next to you. He's more relaxed than you, pointing over to the village. 

"That's the place. They have the best booze ever. At least that's what my friend says." He takes your hand and leads you.  
"What your tolerance level?" He asks while you walk.  
"I don't know." You never really drank before, except for special holidays and affairs. And even then, you were limited. 

"Then we won't push it then." He replies, looking back at you. You smile back at him, "Thank you." He waves your thanks away, "You don't have to thank me for common courtesy." 

The small town surprisingly bustled and the pub was busy with patrons. The sun still hung in the air. Your eyes couldn't focus on one detail, going quickly between the different colors and designs. For the most part, the bar was made out of a deep amber wood. You'd never seen anything like it. Every relief carved is extremely detailed for as far as a tavern is concerned. He goes straight to the bar. There's space for one of you, but Poe puts you in front of him, his arms securing you. 

He gets the bartender's attention holding up two fingers. They barely look at you two before they start making two pints.  
"Do you think that'll be a lot?" You ask, looking up at him.  
"You don't have to drink it all." He says, reassuringly. 

He puts the two in front of you. Poe grabs his and starts to walk off to an open table in a corner. You take yours, careful not to spill it as the foam and liquid knocks back and forth.

"Where's BB-8?" You ask, sitting across from him. "With C3PO. Also probably with Finn." He answers, bringing the pint to his lips. 

You cautiously take a sip of the drink. It's bitter yet sweet like honey. Still, you scrunch your nose up.  
"Is it bad?" He asks with a chuckle. You start to answer but then after taste fills your mouth.  
"I don't know if I can do this." He smiles, in response.  
"You don't have to drink it all, sweetheart." 

You laugh. "One more sip and we'll see."  
He shrugs, "Just don't hurt yourself, okay?" 

You bring the pint to your lips. He looks deep in thought for a moment. "What are you thinking about?" You ask, making a face. You want to drink more because it tastes nice, once you got over the after taste. 

He leans forward. "Thinking about how pretty you are." You giggle.  
"Thanks. You are too." His eyes lower to his cup. 

"Poe." He looks up, his eyebrow raising. "You never told me how you felt about me."  
"Do you worry I don't like you?"  
"No. Well, not really anymore." 

He sips thinking. "I thought you were a naive kid." 

You frown at the word kid. So it wasn't the feelings weren't mutual. His eyes return to the alcohol a smirk playing on his lips. 

"And then I read your note. I had to read it a few times. Your handwriting isn't that great, to be honest. But you were authentic." He flicks his eyes back to yours. "I really liked that."  
"Did you only start to like me because of that?"  
He shakes he head, "No. I mean, it made sense why you were acting ungraceful all the time." 

He smiles, "I thought it was cute, quirky." 

You hide a blush by drinking more. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, also hiding the reaction to bitter taste. After a moment you sigh. "Is that why you kissed me?" He nods, chuckling.  
"I figured you wouldn't do it first." You smile back at him.  
"Will you kiss me now?" He leans over the table and presses his lips against yours. 

"Do you want a refill?" He asks, noticing your nearing empty cup. You nod sheepishly. "I'll be back then." 

You watch as he goes, giddy. He thought you were cute. You knew he did now, but to know he thought of you as cute before you two made it official. He returns with two more refreshments. He puts one in front of you. "So you like this?" You sigh. 

"It's fun. Plus we get to talk." Though the pub is busy and loud, you two can hear each other just fine.  
"We could talk back at D'Qar too."  
"But doesn't it feel special because we're not at D'Qar?"  
He laughs to himself. "I guess that's true." 

After about three more drinks, you two have talked about everything. You ask mostly about his past missions. 

"You've met Kylo Ren right?"  
He grimaces. "Can we not talk about him?"  
You pout, "What's wrong?"  
He shakes his head. "That'd ruin our special time."  
You let the question go.  
"I'm sorry."  
He smiles. "It's not your fault. Everyone's curious. He's a part of the Dark Side, the evil. It's a shame."

You sigh, finishing off your drink. "Let's go for a walk then." He nods in agreement. You wait outside, surprised to see the sunset. Were you out that long? He comes out after paying for your drinks. "Now I remember why I don't go to bars often."  
You wrap your arms around his neck, leaning against his chest. "Why's that?"  
"It's expensive." He shakes his head, "You never think about the price until you're paying and you ask yourself, 'Did I need to drink that much?'" He chuckles. You kiss him in response. 

You two walk back to the X-Wing, holding hands, continuing to talk, this time about your hobbies. "Did you ever think about being an artist?" He asks you. You laugh, shaking you head. "No. It didn't pay according to my father."  
"Did you always do what he said?" You hesitate before nodding.  
"He was a patriarch. I didn't see the reason to question him anyway. I liked becoming a scholar anyway."  
"Tell me something scholarly." He says, finding a clearing by the aircraft. "Let's sit before we go." You sigh, sitting in the grass. 

"Ah, let me remember. Chancellor Mothma helped form the New Republic with the help of General, but then Princess, Organa..." You blank, knowing that was a basic fact. "I know that. Tell me something I don't know."  
You think hard, but your mind can't think of anything new. He leans over, kissing the corner of your lips.  
"Don't think too hard."  
You lick your lips. "Kiss me again." You say, only remembering Ciro's advice on how to look at him.  
He brings you to his lap, obliging.

After a moment, you break the kiss. "Let's play a game." Poe shakes his head, "A game?"  
"It's simple. Truth or dare."  
He laughs, "Why?"  
"Because I want to."  
"Only for a few rounds." He says, resting his head on your chest. 

"Truth or dare?" He thinks before responding. "Truth."  
You think, not expecting a truth. You thought of the pilot as a man who only went with dares. You decide to ask something light to keep the mood happy. "What's your favorite color?"  
He scoffs, "That's easy, (A/N)!" You laugh. "Then answer."  
"Blue, no wait. Orange or blue. I can't decide."  
You cringe. "Together those colors are terrible."  
"Well I like them separately, darling."

You shake your head as he asks you the question. "Dare." You say quickly. He smirks. "I dare you to kiss me."  
You laugh. "That's easier than my question."  
He shrugs, "So are you going to deny the kiss?" You continue to laugh, leaning close to him.  
"Of course not."

The alcohol took its full effect and you could feel it. But between the sloppy kisses from Poe, you couldn't help yourself wanting more. You break the kiss, giggling. "Poe, love. It's your turn." You say.  
He groans, "You still want to play that game?" You make a trail of kisses down his jaw.  
"Yes." 

He shakes his head, "Fine. I choose dare." You pull away, thinking of a dare. "I dare you to... Let's see." 

While you conjure up an idea, he nibbles at your ear. A moan strains in your throat. Your eyes scan the area. The small lake looks tempting and no one is around, though you would make the same dare if there were a few people out. "I dare you to skinny dip." The pilot pulls away. 

"Skinny dip?" 

You nod. You're curious anyway on how he looks nude. "For how long?" You think, tapping your finger on your chin. "Five minutes." 

You move from his hips. "I think I can do that." He undoes his shoes, putting them beside him. "Are you going to join me?" The pilot asks, standing. You smirk, watching as he tosses his jacket to the side.  
"Are you daring me to?" 

He chuckles, "Yes." 

"It's not my turn yet. And I was going to choose truth." You tease, trying to keep your eyes on his.  
"Fine. But you don't get to look."  
Your mouth drops and you begin to protest. "That's not fair."  
"Then why don't we end this game and you just join me to join." You stick your tongue out, greedily watching as he takes his shirt off. "We'll call this a draw."  
"Whatever makes you happy."

Your fingers fumble with your boots as you take them off. You continue to sit as you take your own top off. He watches with lustful eyes. He kneels down in front of your face and kisses you gently. "You're so beautiful." You rest your forehead against him.  
"You still have to do the dare, loverboy." 

He stands, unhooking his belt and then works on his pants. Your curiosity peaks more as your eyes rest below the belt. 

"You're joining me right?" He retorts, noting that you stopped. You stand, taking your pants off as well. Your heart beats so loudly in your ears as you take your bandeau off from your chest. He barely tears his eyes from your chest. He instead maintains eye contact with you for the rest of the time. You're grateful as you take your underwear off. He does the same. 

You're too nervous to look down to see him. He smiles, "Ready to take a dip?" You nod, glancing down on accident.  
_Oh_ , your mind goes. _That's what he looks like._ He's a bit bigger than you expected, but looks average other than that. The water is cold against your toes. He holds your hand as you walk into the water. 

The water isn't as deep as he expected, reaching his chest. It came up to your shoulders. He dips his head beneath the water, trying to get warm. You join him, seeing him barely in the now moonlight. He pulls you to him as you both come up for air. He kisses you, bringing your legs around his waist. His teeth tug at your bottom lip, one hand resting on your ass and the other getting tangled in your hair. You wrap your arms around his neck, tilting your head back at his command. He sucks on the sensitive skin on your neck, trailing his lips to your collarbone. 

You whimper his name as his hand leaves your hair and goes to your hips, holding you up. He continues to make marks along your neck. You grind your hips against him, causing him to groan quietly.  
"(A/N)." He whispers. "Do you want to this now?"  
You think about it. "Maybe not in the water." You whisper back. He nods, walking you both back to your clothes. 

He lets your legs go, so you could stand. "Love..." He pulls away, hearing a noise. "We should get back to the base." 

You whimper, as he begins to dress. You grab your pants and force them on as they stick to your wet skin. "We should have brought towels." He complains. You giggle, struggling. "We didn't know... You should just carry towels in your X-Wing." He shakes his head, putting his shirt on.  
"It'd take up space, but I'll test it out for you."  
You adjust you top looking up at him as he puts his jacket on.  
"They're going to ask why we're all wet." You say, laughing.  
"We went for a swim." He replies, walking to the aircraft. You follow, shivering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i used some of the ideas you guys left in the comments and hope i executed them right for u guys :') ah and thank you for reading.


	15. Petitions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader suffers a hangover and Finn moves rooms.

You get out first, your hair still damp, but the trembles now subside. You wait for him, seeing the hangar empty for the night save for a few night workers. He gets out and walks beside you, his fingers interlocking with your own. "We should inside and change clothes." You're tempted to respond with a flirty one liner, but stop seeing small BB-8 roll right to Poe. 

He lets go of your hand and kneels down in front of his droid. It beeps frantically. "He's waiting in my room? Really? How long?" The droid turns rolling fast to the living quarters. Poe stands, turning to you.   
"I guess I have a roommate now." He kisses you cheek before following BB-8 out.

You follow slower, giving them space. Finn had been moved from Medibay to Poe's room. You'd ask tomorrow why. From what you remembered, he wasn't ready to leave. He still needed to heal. A slight breeze passes. A shiver goes down your spine and you walk faster. You'd figure what ever happened once you got dry and warm.

* * *

You lie in your bed, thinking of what to do now. You want to go to Ciro's room, knowing that most of your friends would be there. But, you also want to go up to your pilot's room to see what happened. You sit up when your door opens, seeing it was your roommate. "Oh, you're back. Been a busy day." They go, putting their bag on the ground. 

"General Organa said that you and that Poe went off some place." You nod, "Yeah. What about it?"   
"Nothing about it. He should have been here though."   
"Oh?" They continue, sitting on their bed, untying their shoes. "Finn's been moved. At his request. Didn't like staying in Medibay." You watch, listening.   
"Says the atmosphere is too sterile. Needs something else. We figured the Black Leader's room would be enough for him since they are close." You nod again. "Since the move though, he's seems happier." They pause to look at you.   
"What's wrong?" 

You shake your head, "Nothing's wrong."   
"You sure?" You nod, lying back down.   
"Anyway, they've got round the clock nurses watching him in case anything goes wrong."   
"Of course they do." You roll over, facing the wall, deciding to sleep. Your roommate leaves the room briefly and you sigh. You hope Finn knows what he's doing.

* * *

You decide to not go to your dish washing shift, staying with an apparent cold or hangover, you can't decide. You woke up with sniffles and a massive headache. You go to the canteen to get something hot to sip on figuring that would help. You sit before going back to your room. The thought of walking back drains you and you sit with the hot tea in your hands. 

Sabik sits across from you while you mentally debate staying here until you gained the motivation to move. "You and the pilot were gone all day yesterday. Spill the details. I wanna know before Ciro."   
You sigh, "Not now. I am not feeling too well today."   
Their eyebrow raises, "Oh? Why?"   
You grimace, "I've a headache and I'm really stuffy." You wish you remembered your mother's old cold remedy soup. Sabik shakes their head.   
"Excuses. Also, do you know where Finn went? I went by Medibay yesterday and he wasn't there."   
"Why did you go by?" 

They hesitate, "He just seems so lonely with ghosts of nurses and doctors coming and going without really asking him about his day and stuff... Figured I could be a friend." You smile small, feeling a pounding in your head.   
"They moved him to Poe's room. He didn't like the 'sterile' atmosphere. That's what my roommate said anyway." 

It was the most they ever spoke to you unprompted. 

"Poe's room? You know where that is don't you?" Your smile goes away as you take a sip, incidentally burning your tongue. Sabik waits patiently, hands folded on the table.   
"I do, but they might be busy, Sabik."   
"I just want to say hi."   
"You and everyone else." You stand, swaying a bit.   
"Maybe I'll just help you back to your room then." They stand and help you balance. 

The walk back is silent as their arm is firm around your side so you would titter. You're grateful that they're helping you, but the pressure on your head keeps you from saying anything. Sabik keeps their eyes forward, their lips pursed up. You could see in their eyes they were frustrated and nervous. 

They let go of you when you stand in front of your door. You unlock it, their eyes now boring into you. You sigh, not looking at them.   
"Upstairs down the left hall way. You'll know the door because a nurse is probably walking out of it."   
Their eyes light up and they leave without a word. 

You saunter in, placing the hot cup next to your bed before resting. Your eyes close as you fidget around, trying to gasp sleep to calm your head when someone knocks. You groan audibly, tossing the covers off your body. 

You see no one when you look through the peephole, but the knocking continues. You open your door, irritation growing when you see it's BB-8. It beeps at you and you step aside to let the droid in. You sit on your bed, the shrill noises coming from it worsening your headache.   
"I've heard that he's staying there." You answer, turning to close your blinds. Your roommate must have opened them.

It continues to beep, rolling around your room. It's ranting you realize with an annoyed amusement. Too many people have been coming in and out of the room. They had to move the charge station to the other side of the room and now the room's dynamic is all off. Finn snores louder than Poe. In the middle of the night, nurses come to check on the new roommate and close the door loudly. And though Finn is nice, the room is too busy. You interrupt, the pounding in your head still going. 

"Did you tell this to anyone else?" It shakes its head.   
"Not even C3PO?"   
It beeps. C3PO has been busy with the General. Whatever the results from Poe's mission kept the leads busy.   
"What about Poe?" It rolls back and forth silently before making a somber noise. 

Poe's hungover too and still in bed. "What do you want me to do?" 

It stops. Your mind ponders for a moment if droids could think. BB-8 answers after a moment.   
"Talk to Finn? Why me? He doesn't know me like that. Ask Poe." You reach for your tea, sipping carefully. It's still warm.

It begins to plead you. You have no choice because the noise aches your head. You don't mention your own ailments when you stand. "I'll try. But the most I can get you is your charge station to be put back." It beeps happily, fine with that.

* * *

Sabik is standing in the hallway, confused on which door is Poe's. No nurses visit Finn since they arrived. Their eyes widen when they see you and BB-8. "(A/N). What are you doing here?"   
"BB-8 asked me to come." 

The door is unlocked because BB-8 left it that way, leaving in a hurry to you. You turn to Sabik, putting your finger to your lips. "Both of these men are tired and sick."   
"Something wrong with Poe?"   
"Probably." You say turning back opening the door. 

The lights are dimmed. Finn is awake, his head facing the sleeping pilot with a pillow over his head. The boredom on his face is apparent when he looks towards the door, expecting a nurse. You close the door quietly. 

"I've already had my medicine." Finn says, almost whining.   
"What if I'm here for the other sick person?" You snap back. You don't mean to be rude. It's just your hangover.

Poe stirs hearing your voice but still doesn't lift his head. Sabik smiles shyly at Finn.   
"You moved? W-were you able to take the flowers with you?"   
You walk over to Poe, lying on his back. He groans, but doesn't make you move.   
"They wouldn't let me. They threw them out because they died. But I still appreciate the thought." Their face falls, but they quickly perk up with a smile. 

BB-8 starts to beep, rolling over to you and Poe. You narrow your eyes but roll off the pilot.   
"Finn, can we move your bed somehow for BB-8 charge station?"   
He shrugs, "I don't know. I guess so." BB-8 cheers at that and you and Poe both cringe. 

He lifts his arms, engulfing you into a hug under the covers. He places his arms on either side of you and asks, "Did BB-8 ask you to petition its demands?"   
You blush and nod. He sits up, ignoring your friend who stands near the door, ready to run.   
"BB-8. That's not very nice to Finn." It beeps back.   
"It's going to be alright, buddy. Plus, our friend is here with us. You won't have to go all the way to Medibay to see him." It beeps sadly.   
"I'll ask the nurses to be quieter for you okay? It'll be good." He lies down, pining you under him on purpose.

You struggle underneath him, squirming up enough to see Sabik. "Should I go?" They ask nervously.   
"Didn't you want to talk to Finn?" You ask out of breath.   
His arm is firm around your waist. The movement leaves you dizzy, but you don't mind, resting back against his pillows.   
"I did, but..."   
"What did you want to talk about?" Finn interrupts.   
He sits up slowly. He's dying for attention that isn't medical. With his head turned, you give your friend a thumbs up for sinking back in the bed.

BB-8 goes to your friend and asks them to sit down. You sigh, closing your eyes feeling sleep greet you finally. Their conversations drift in and out, but they're positive from what you hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! There'll be more fluff with the reader and Poe but I don't wanna forget Finn :'o


	16. Sabik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader's friend tries to befriend Finn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this isn't OOC.

You wake up seeing Finn and Sabik still talking. Your friend's eyes shine as they talk about their home world and explain customs that Finn never heard of. You roll to your side, see that your pilot still sleeps, snoring softly. The conversation comes to an awkward silence and you turn around to see why. "You don't know anything about your old life?" Finn shakes his head.   
"That's sad. Is that why you don't have a last name?" He nods.   
"They just gave me a series of letters and numbers. Poe named me." 

Sabik sits up on the edge of their chair. "So would your last name also be Dameron?" 

You stiffen, mostly because you hadn't thought of that. You're tempted to wake Poe but instead you turn back over to see Finn pondering. "I guess so. Is that how you got yours?"   
Sabik laughs, "The town leader named me. Named after some star."

They start talking about stars and you wonder what topics they touched on and if Sabik over steps some boundaries. The bed sinks lower on Poe's side as he lies on his side. You scoot back into his arms. He groans softly and their conversation pauses for a second time.   
"How long have we've been sleeping?" 

Sabik answers first. "For a few hours, sir." You hide your face with the cover at their formality with the pilot.   
"You don't have to call me sir."   
They hesitate before speaking again. "Oh, okay s-Poe." 

"Why are you so out of it today?" Finn asks, shifting his attention. "Had too much fun last night with (A/N)." You snort from under the covers. "We live and learn. And know our limits." He rests his hand on your stomach. 

"What were you two talking about anyway?" You remove the cover from your face.   
"Life... There's so much I have to learn now that I'm not a stormtrooper. Like... Sabik knows how to knit. I don't know what that is really. They're also named after a star. Did you name me after something?"   
Poe furrows his brow, "FN?" Finn's face falls a little and Sabik jumps in.   
"Your name is like a medal for leaving the Dark Side!" They both smile, happy with that meaning. 

"Also does that mean I'm Finn Dameron?" Your eyes dart to the pilot. His face is tinged slightly rose as he thinks about the possibility that Finn would have his last name. "I-I mean, if you want to. Better than the series of numbers and letters the First Order gave you." 

You giggle at the flustered Poe and turn your head to Finn. His smile is grateful and he holds his hands as if he's just received the best gift. 

You sit up, quickly running your hand through your hair in case it matted in the back. Sabik looks proud as well. They did suggest the last name. "Congrats on your name, Finn. Does this count as a birthday then?" "Birthday?" His eyes turn serious as he turns to your friend. 

The pilot sits up as well, sighing. "Does your head still hurt?"   
You chuckle softly, "Not anymore. You?"   
He shakes his head, "A little, but I'll manage. It wasn't my worst, but they're never easy to go through." 

He's still listening to the other two's conversation. Sabik explains what birthdays are and their last one with their family. They didn't get anything exciting as much as they got a rite to adulthood and a memento to remember their duty. Sabik's is a necklace with a small ten pointed star.   
"My duty is to protect. The Resistance fits the criteria."   
"We didn't have anything like that."   
"Then let's mark the day that you left as your birthday." Sabik suggests, their eyes brightening.   
"Really?"   
"Yeah! I mean, why not?"

You frown, hoping they're seriously not overstepping now.

"Maybe... I'll have to think about it. I don't know if I'm ready for rites of adulthood again."   
"Again?" Finn shakes his head and a nurse comes in.   
"Still up? You're going to have to sleep sometime." The nurse eyes your friend who moves out-of-the-way. 

You figure that's your cue to leave. Poe takes your hand as you leave the bed. "Let's meet up later."   
"Where?"   
"In the lobby?" You nod, "Okay."

* * *

You follow Sabik out. Their face flushes. You smile as you two walk down the steps in silence. "Did you have a good time?" They grin back and then shoot their eyes forward again. "No?"   
"The First Order probably has many Finns who are so brainwashed they don't even know there's true happiness in the world." Their sharp eyes turn to you. "My heart weeps for them." You're taken back by this attitude. You expected a comment about Finn, not the other storm troopers that still served.   
"Did you enjoy your time with him anyway?"   
A small smile comes to their lips. 

"He's very kind and deserves the best. I hope he knows that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be more poe/reader centric~ also thank you guys for the comments and stuff again :')


	17. Content/Go Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader spends time with Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter summaries are sounding similar lol.. changed the main tags and stuff to fit where ever this story is headed.

You two walk to the canteen. Sabik doesn't say much until you see your other friends. Ciro waves a big smile on her face. You try not to fill your plate still not sure if you can handle food yet even though your headache is gone. "Spill the beans. Yesterday. What happened between you and the pilot? I mean, you leave all day and then come back at night..." You take a small bite of the food. Sabik still looks frigid. 

"We just went to a pub for a few drinks." You debate telling about the dip.

"That's it? I heard that when Poe walked back to check on Finn, his hair was dripping wet. Said you two went for a swim." You frown.  
"We went for a swim. Why ask if you know everything?"  
"How'd you swim if you didn't bring swim clothes?" Her smile widens.  
"In our under clothes." You lie, rolling your eyes. "What did you think we did?"  
She sits back disappointed. "I don't know." Her attention goes to Sabik. 

"You're unusually quiet." 

"I learned more about Finn. I hope we will be able to talk more in the future." You smile at that comment, "You probably will. Just don't force personal questions like his last name and birthday."  
They bow their head, "I'll remember not to." 

The rest of dinner goes as it does. They gossip. You don't participate because nothing happened for you today. You didn't have any notable dreams. 

Walking back with your friends, they focus on one friend's petty crush on some mechanic. You feel bad for not caring, but you know it will end after one of them says something disagreeable. The thought causes your heart to skip beats. Would that be the same fate as you and Poe? You two didn't fight or argue much. You'd push with questions about his travels. He answers most of them save for those dealing with the First Order. You'd try your best to answer his questions too, but they were fitted for your deceased father about why the Senate didn't do anything about the First Order until it was all too late. 

He's already waiting in the lobby. Your friends wave at him before going to someone's room to finish the gush and deliberation of feelings. Sabik stays behind. "Si-Poe." They stand stiff.  
"Ah, (A/N)'s friend. I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."  
"Sabik."  
"Sabik. That's a strong name."  
"I'm a strong individual." They reply fast.  
"I can tell." Poe smiles awkwardly, looking to you. You smile back. 

"I hope I didn't cross any lines earlier."  
"Not with me. You're just trying to help Finn get comfortable with the strange newness."  
They bow, "Do you think I can go explain that to him now?" 

Poe nods, gesturing to the direction to the stairs, "Probably. BB-8 is apologizing for its earlier behavior now. Maybe you can catch him there too."

Sabik rises from their bow and hurries up to the pilot's room. 

He turns to you, his hand going around your waist. "We drank too much yesterday."  
You nod, "Yeah."  
"We shouldn't do that again." You nod again, wondering why he's going over this again.  
His voice lowers, "But we should do the swimming again." You pull away from him slightly.  
"Poe!" He brings you closer and kisses your forehead.  
"We could do without the swimming though..." 

You hide your head in his chest. He sways back and forth and you sigh.  
"I don't know yet. There's other... factors." "  
Factors?" You look up at him, "Not here."  
"Where then?" He asks.  
You open your mouth to say his room but remember Finn is there. You didn't want to chance it in your room either. 

"To our spot?" You worry slightly that he wouldn't know where that it is, but he nods and you hold his hand and start to walk out.

* * *

You sit in the cool grass. He sits across from you. Your fingers interlace briefly before you sigh audibly. "I still don't want to move too fast." You admit shyly.  
"I'll go as slow as you want me."  
You tuck a stray hair behind your ear. "A-and there's not a lot of private areas now."  
He nods, "I mean if you want to plan it out..."  
You shake your head, "No! I just want to go slow." You regret letting the last part slip.  
He sits back, "Fine. As long as you are comfortable." 

You lean forward, kissing his cheek. His arms wrap around you gently and he peppers your face with tiny kisses. You relax in his arms. He tilts your face up to his and locks lips with you. You pull away with a giggle. "Thank you, for understanding." He smiles back.  
"Don't thank me for that." 

You lie back, holding his hand. He lies besides you and kisses your cheek. "Do you ever just get lost looking up at the sky?"  
"No. I have to know where I'm going." Your eyes go to him.  
"Even from here? Doesn't your X-Wing have like some sort of tracking so you won't have to worry?"  
"Yeah. I have to know." You shake your head, "Really?"  
He nods and rests besides you. "Yeah."

"Are you sure?" He nods again. You stand up, stretching. He stands up as well. His hands rest on your hips. You close your eyes, smiling wide.  
"With your arms like this, you're almost as tall as me." You open your eyes, your smile going away. You move his hands off your waist.  
"Shush." You walk away pretending to be upset.

He jogs up to you. "I'm sorry."  
"No you're not."  
He sighs, "I really am."  
You turn and exhale through your nostrils, "I forgive you for now..." 

He brings you into an embrace. You can feel the lingering eyes from others, but focus on this hug. He pulls away, his hand sliding in yours. You squeeze it gently before resting your head against his shoulder. 

The silence between you is content. You're not going anywhere specific. He's humming again, to himself. Your arms idly swing back and forth.  
"What's that song? I don't think I've ever heard it before." You ask, glancing at the pilot.  
He stops the hum and laughs to himself. "Just a song my mother used to sing. It's old."  
Your ears perk up, "Will you sing it to me?"  
He looks around, embarrassed. "Maybe later."  
You sigh, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand, "Fine." 

You feel a few drops on your head and look up alarmed. You didn't notice the clouds until now.  
"We should get inside." Poe says, noticing them as well.  
He leads you to the side of the quarters. It's shaded and there's a few others standing around talking to each other. They all greet Poe and give you a slight nod. 

His eyes focus on the small rain shower. "I think it'll pass soon." You nod, putting your arms around you. He turns to you and smiles. "Are you okay?"  
"Yeah, just a bit cold." 

His arms embrace you quickly. Laughter bubbles from your chest as he starts swaying. He hums again, though a different song and rocks you to the beat. You close your eyes, hearing his heartbeat subtly. The constant thud from the raindrops hitting the ground adds to your contentment. He stops humming briefly.  
"Don't go to sleep on me."  
You lift your face and smile, "I'm not sleepy. I'm just really happy right now."  
He brushes his lips against your forehead and continues to croon faintly. 

The moment comes to an abrupt end when lightning flashes across the sky with thunder rumbling the sky soon after. You stiffen, your hands making fists on his chest. "We should go in now." Poe suggests, ending the hug. You follow behind into the lobby.

The storm slowly picks up pace as the bolts brandish the sky. It hasn't stormed since the end of the Republic you note as Poe runs a few fingers through his curly hair.  
"Wet hair again with you. We just can't get a break." He chuckles, nudging you. You smile briefly, starting to walk down the hall. The pilot follows, his arm slipping around your waist. 

You stop in front of your door, facing him. He leans down, and you close your eyes ready to feel his lips against your own. Instead they land on your cheek. You start to whine, "Poe."  
"What?"  
"That was rude."  
He laughs softly, "I'm sorry." He straightens, ruffling your hair. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then."  
You tug on his shirt. "Will you spend the night with me?"  
His hand goes to yours. "What about your roommate?"  
You shake your head, "I just want to sleep in your arms." He looks up, thinking for a moment. Thunder shakes the building slightly. Your grip on his shirt tightens.

"I'll have to go get a few essentials, but okay." His gaze returns to you. A smile comes to your lips and you hurry inside. 

Surprisingly your roommate is there, writing a report over something. You quickly make your bed more presentable and look around in case you have laundry left out. They watch you for a minute. "What are you doing?" You freeze, turning around.  
"Oh, um. Well... Is it okay if Poe spends the night?"  
They don't look amused. "Why?"  
"Because..."

You didn't have a reason besides the fact you didn't want to be alone tonight. "Because I asked him to?"  
You return to straightening out your covers and fluffing your pillows.  
"Where would he sleep?"  
You chuckle, "With me."  
They pause for a moment, "The rumors are true then... Fine, but next time you plan something in our room, tell me ahead of time." They return to their reports.

You make a face at the wall. Stick in the mud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and all the kudos :'D


	18. Storms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe spends the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i changed the ending to the original ending. um. nsfw~ i'll change the tag soon~

You practically run to the door when he knocks. Your roommate looks up slightly, but returns their eyes to their report. He's smiling, a small pack under his arm. "I just brought a change of sleep clothes and something to wear tomorrow." You let him in.  
"This is my roommate. (Y/N)." They barely look at him. "Oh, hello."  
They nod their head and their hands move quickly across the holographic page.

You motion for him to put his stuff down by your bed. He sits down, resting it near the bed frame. You wish your roommate wasn't here because all you want to do is sit in his lap and kiss him. The storm shakes your room slightly. "It's really strong out there." You say, frowning. "Are you afraid?"  
You laugh, "No. It just hasn't stormed in a while."  
"That it hasn't." You sit on his lap anyway, nuzzling his neck. 

He titters, giving you a look. You give him an innocent simper, moving to your bed. He turns his attention to your roommate. 

"Writing a report?"  
They nod, "Trying to piece everything you and the others account from the last mission for the General."  
He shifts over to your side, "Well, if you need any specifics, I'm your guy." You relocate, resting your head against his chest. 

"Yes sir." Your roommate continues to type away, pausing briefly. "Do you think you'll be more successful next mission?"  
Poe chuckles, "Of course. We know what to look for explicitly now. And then we just wait for Rey and Luke Skywalker to return to move forward." 

"Quite."

You sigh, not wanting to hear about another mission. His arm tights around you in response. "When is the next mission?" You ask meekly, your curiosity peaking. Your roommate snorts. Poe ignores them, shifting again to face you. "In a few days. As soon as the X-Wings are ready anyway. This time, we're going in."  
"Going in?" He nods, "Taking a few fighters. Ground time."  
"But you're a pilot." You retort.  
"I'm air support." 

You bury your face in his chest. "I don't want you to go." His incandescent smile beams at you. "I'll be back." He lifts your face. "Let's go dancing before I go."  
"Dancing?" You make a face.  
"I want to do something fun before I go. Dancing is pretty fun."  
You think about it. "Maybe."  
"You and your maybes." 

You lean up, and begin to kiss his lips. His smile only widens as he leans down, placing his hand against your back. You turn over, resting on your back. Your hands go to his jaw, bringing him closer. You're both trying to stay quiet to not alert your roommate. His hand travels up your side, to your shoulder. 

His tongue quickly finds dominance, gracefully dancing in your mouth. You start close your eyes, your arm draping around his neck. He groans quietly and you pull away, wiping your mouth. You glance at your roommate who doesn't seem phased by you two. You put a finger up to his lips. He nods, exhaling heavily. 

You return your lips, having them part by his waiting tongue. But he doesn't stay long, going to your neck. You sigh, hoping you could stay quiet as he sucked on the sensitive skin. The thunder covered up your gasp as he began. You bit your lip as he continue, trying to keep the noises to a minimum. You knew after a few suckles that you'd be covered in his marks. He pulls away with an audible smack, kissing your lips briefly. 

"I can't do this quietly." He whispers. You blush, nodding okay. You sit up. 

"Do what quietly?" Your roommate asks, turning around.  
"Nothing." You say, quickly. They notice how both of your clothes are a bit disheveled, but says nothing.  
"I've finished my report. You should be cleared to go soon, Dameron." They leave.

You sigh, turning to him. "Should we change?" He nods, getting out of the bed.  
"We need our own private area." You say, taking your shirt off. He watches for a second before reaching in his bag.  
"We just have to make do with what we have." He places his clothes on your bed.  
"Besides, we're alone now."  
You laugh, "They'll be back soon. Get dressed faster, fly boy." He shakes his head, chuckling. 

You put on a sleep gown and slip under the covers, waiting on him to join you. He changes into a white tank top and grey shorts. You smile as he enters the bed. He kisses your forehead. "This mission might take longer." He says after a moment. You wrap his arms around your waist. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Not one day. Maybe a few. No longer than three."  
You cough, "I don't know if I can handle three days!"  
He brings you closer, "It'll be fine. I won't be going anywhere after this. Until Luke comes."  
You frown, "What if they return before you?" 

"Then we'll have to wait and see." 

You grumble and moan against his chest. He only plays with your hair, cooing that you have nothing to worry about. Your roommate comes back moments later. They don't say anything and change. 

"To sleep?" They ask, going to the lights. 

You two nod, not expecting sleep to come to you right away. You spent half the day sleeping. As soon as they get settled in their bed, they're asleep. You never understood how they fell asleep so fast, but now that you're with Poe, you're grateful. 

You inch up to his face and your hand travels to his groin. His breath hitches as you start to stroke the area. He presses his lips against yours, to suppress his moans. He pulls away for a moment, "Are we doing this?" You kiss him to shut him up before breaking the kiss.   
"Not all of it."   
You bring your palm up to your lips and spit. Your lips go to his jaw and you hand dips under the shorts. Lightning lights the room briefly. He rolls to his back, biting his lip. You find him, not as hard as you expected. 

Your fingers wrap around his shaft, getting a firm grip. He sits up, sighing. You adjust, kissing his lips before moving back, nibbling on his earlobe. Your hand begins stroking his length slowly. He closes his eyes and bites his lip, his hand resting on your shoulder. You start squeezing a bit towards the base, changing your speed as you reach the top and return. He curses quietly, tossing his head back. You can't help but smile as you watch him. 

At the tip, your thumb gently brush over the sensitive area. You remove your hand to his surprise. "Do you want your pants off?" You whisper. He raises his eyebrow as thunder shakes the room.   
"Yeah, love."   
You sit up slightly and start pulling the shorts down. He groans quietly as he adjusts to the air around. You're tempted to slip underneath the covers to make this hotter, but stay up. His hand goes to your chest and he starts to massage them.   
You shake your head, giggling quietly, "No, let me focus on you..." He groans, "I want to be inside you so badly." 

You make a face, "That's not cute." He kisses your lips and you return your hand to his waiting member. He closes his eyes, moving his hips to your rhythm. His hand travels between your thighs.   
You break the kiss, "I don't think I can stay quiet." 

He whines, "(A/N)..."   
You smile, "I'm sorry..."  
He removes his hand and you continue, adjusting to use both your hands. You both pause as your roommate moves around in their bed. When they stop moving, you resume, one hand traveling his shaft while the other focuses on the tip. He covers his eyes with his arm, quietly panting. You take a moment to relish him coming apart in your hands. 

You move your hand from his tip and lift his shirt, your finger making patterns on his stomach. He gasps and moans. You move to his lips to shut him up again. He pulls away hissing, "I'm so close."   
You smile, quickening your pace, feeling small beads of pre-cum when you reach the top. Your lips go to his ear, "You're so cute when you're like this, sugar lips."   
He shakes his head, laughing quietly, the end turning into a soft grunt. 

The main part of the storm tapers off, leaving behind the rain for a few moments longer. You continue stroking, kissing his neck. His hips continue move with your hand and he removes the cover from his heated body. You smirk, before leaving little marks on his neck. His hand goes to your hair, pulling you up slightly, kissing you roughly. He pulls away, tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth. He continues to hold your face. You struggle looking him in the eyes, focusing on his lips. He's biting them again, keeping little grunts down. 

His hands return to your hair, bringing you down to his lips again. Your teeth accidentally clack against each other, but he quickly readjusts, groaning low. You keep your eyes half-lidded watching his eyes close tight, his brow furrow. In your hand, you feel his cock spasm. He breaks the kiss, cursing before quickly clenching his jaw. 

You return your lips, knowing he'd get loud. You gently graze your fingers over the swollen top. As your hand continues to rub his thick member, he breaks underneath you, crying out as his cock gushes creamy white gobs of cum. You press your mouth on his, parting his lips slightly as your tongue enters. Poe returns the kiss, his hand going to yours at his base. 

You continue stroking until he lies back, exhausted.   
You smile, sitting up. "You made a mess..." He covers his face slightly.   
"Sorry."   
You bring your hand to your lips, licking the leftover residue.   
He sits up as well, "Are you going to do the same for the rest of the mess?" You push him back down.   
"Not tonight. I think I have a towel." You climb over him, feeling his eyes bore into you. 

"You're so beautiful." He murmurs. You return to the bed with an old towel and begin to clean him. You grin, gazing into his sleepy eyes.   
"You're too nice."   
He shakes his head, "I'm only truthful."   
You take the towel to your hamper. You had laundry duty tomorrow anyway. He pulls his shorts back up, sighing. 

You climb back into the bed, resting beside him. Neither of you say anything for a moment. The only noise is the soft pounding of raindrops hitting the ground outside.   
"I'm going to miss you, dewdrop." The pilot pulls you in an embrace.   
"I won't leave for a few days, hunny." 

You close your eyes. "It's going to feel like forever, sugar lips."  
He kisses your nose, "We can get through this, baby cakes."   
"But..."   
He hushes you, yawning. "I'll come straight to you when I get back."   
There's no sense in arguing over it. His heart still races from his orgasm, but he's calm. You lift you head to see his eyes already closed. 

"Fine." You rest your head against his chest. You relax against him, hoping the mission wouldn't be too hard on him. You close your eyes and start making a list of things to do tomorrow. You lose track midway through, feeling fatigued. The soothing sounds from the rain calms you as you sleep in your lover's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u guys for reading again :')


	19. Invites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader gets invited to a gathering going on later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly nsfw, but like nothing happens~

If your roommate knows what happened last night, they do not say as you all awkwardly get dressed. They dress quickly, leaving you two in the room. "Last night was fun." You laugh at the comment. "Mhmm."   
"Anyway, dancing. If I don't see you later, I'll send BB-8." He says, putting on a dark jumpsuit.   
"Helping the mechanics today?" You ask, pulling your pants up.   
"Yeah. It'll help speed up the process." 

His back is towards you. You wrap your arms around his waist, smiling. His hand goes to yours and he gently squeezes them. "Be safe."   
"I'll try my best, (A/N)." He chuckles, turning around. "You be safe too."   
You roll your eyes as he kisses your forehead.

* * *

The laundry shift is always the longest. You mastered folding within the first few weeks of your residency. All the clothes look the same after a while. But you have to stay alert, returning clothes to the right piles for certain people, making sure the clothes were actually cleaned. There's some talking, but the room stays quiet as people organize. Your mind drifts, thinking of last night. Your eyes focus on the sweater in your hands, effectively hiding your blush. But you mostly think of him leaving. Longer this time. You frown at the shirt as you fold it carefully. 

The one perk of this shift is feeling the different materials native to planets you never heard of. This sweater is softer than anything you've ever touched. It's from a cold planet, you assume. Whoever it belongs to needs to stay warm and comfortable. Earlier you dealt with a metallic rough material. It was pants. You wanted to ask about it, but the owner didn't speak Basic very well and you didn't want to pry. 

You reach for another article when you recognize the shirt. It's Poe's. You're tempted to smell it, but stop yourself when your neighbor notices your goofy smile. "Something funny?"   
You shake your head, "No. Just smiling."

He wore it when you shared your first kiss. You sigh, wondering if he would know that. That memory feels like forever ago now. You fold it carefully, paying more attention to the cotton like fabric and the stitching.

* * *

You're walking to lunch alone, your arms slightly aching from the constant folding and hanging. You see Ciro, messing with her hair. She's fixing it back up into a similar hairstyle to Lieutenant Connix. Your friend had started hanging out with the lieutenant. You forgot the reason, but know that she has brought up before. 

She doesn't look over to you, seeing the lieutenant first. You're a bit hurt, but you notice from the big smile that she's using her own tips that she gave you. You'd ask about their relationship later as you watch Connix touch the buns and start helping with the braids.

You stretch, entering the canteen. It's full, but you see your other friends. And your pilot. He's sitting with his friends. Their voices are low and their faces serious. You know they're talking about their mission and you walk by hoping that he'd at least smile. Your eyes meet, but only for a few seconds. You feel slighted, but sit with your friends. They're going on about their shifts.

* * *

As you leave, BB-8 rolls to your side. It beeps cheery at you, asking about your day. "It's been a long one. But I'll live. Yours?" The X-Wings are mostly prepped now. They'll be done by the end of the day. It stops, as you start to leave the cafeteria. 

"Something wrong?" It opens a slot with a crumpled up paper. You take it carefully, and rolls back inside to Poe. Oh, you think. He did mention that he'd give it to the droid if he'd be unavailable.

You walk out, opening the paper. The handwriting is okay, hard to make out in some places due to the texture. You squint, making out the details. "'Small gathering at the hangar. Mostly invite only. Send off our friends in style.'" You whisper, wondering who made this invite. It felt elementary handing out secret invitations. Everyone would come anyway.

You turn it over, seeing if there's anything else. You smile seeing a small doodle of you in the corner. You're looking off in distance with a small simper. You're wearing some ridiculous top. There's a small inscription by it. 'Meet me before dinner in my room.' Before? You frown, folding the paper up neatly this time. You hope that dinner wouldn't be as packed as lunch.

* * *

You wait by his door, wondering how he expected you to get in his room without him. You don't knock, knowing if Finn's in there, he probably wouldn't be able to answer. You sigh, trying not look suspicious as other people pass by. 

He comes up a few moments later, BB-8 by his side. "Ah, you're here!" He almost jogs over, hugging you tight. "What did you think of my drawing?"   
You hug him back, feeling your feet slightly leave the ground. "It's adorable." 

He lets go and unlocks his door. Finn isn't there. Your face pales with worry. Poe walks in whistling. BB-8 attempts to as well, but it doesn't come out on key. 

"Finn wants to walk." Poe says, seeing how you're still frozen, staring at the empty bed.   
"Oh." You wonder if Sabik already knows that.

He sits on his bed. "Why'd you want to meet?" You ask, sitting beside him. His smile fades and his eyebrows knit. "We leave tomorrow."   
"Tomorrow?" Your voice comes out higher and your heart sinks.   
"We overestimated how much time we needed for preparations."   
"But..." You struggle to find the words.   
"Can't you just have a day off? One day to relax before you're off again into the unknown?" 

He shakes his head, "It's not up to me."   
"Did you guys even try to object?"   
"I'd never object to General Organa's word. She knows what she's doing. What's at risk." 

You can't meet his eyes. You're angry, but understanding since this is out of your hands, but still frustrated because you want him to be safe, with you a little longer before off again.

"I'll be back. And I'll have all the days off."   
You sigh, "Until Luke comes back." You repeat from last night.   
"Exactly." You rest your head on his shoulder.   
"It's always hard when you leave..."   
"I'm not leaving yet." He chuckles, touching your shoulder. 

You pull away, shaking your head. "I know." He starts to smile, "Plus tonight we have dancing and a small little gathering of friends."   
"Dancing. What kind of dancing?" He shrugs, his smile getting bigger.   
"We're letting Nien Nunb choose the music. It'll be good. All sorts of dancing. Are you worried about something?"   
You kiss his cheek, "No." 

His hands move to your hips. "Spend the night with me." His lips graze your neck.   
You giggle, "Since you're leaving tomorrow, I'll say yes." He sits up. "If I wasn't?"   
You wink. "I'd be sleeping in my room." 

His eyes widen, before he tackles you back. His hands grab your wrists, bringing them to his headboard. 

You barely have time to gasp as his lips attack yours. His hands leave yours and you hold on to the wood. His fingers trail down. You close your eyes, your thighs squeezing around his wrist. He pulls away, "For last night?"   
You laugh, "For last night."

You sigh as his mouth returns. Your legs relax as his hand slips underneath the waistband. You hear the door click before his. Your eyes shoot open and you sit up. He pulls away, alarmed. "What's wr-" 

Your heads hit with an audible crack noise as Finn and Sabik enter. His hand leaves you as he rubs the hit spot.   
"Are you okay?" He asks, tilting your face towards his so he can see the damage.   
"I'm fine." You wipe your eyes, trying to hide the pain.

The two at the door watch for a moment. Sabik carefully helps Finn in, sitting him down on the edge of his bed. "Are you guys okay?" Finn asks. You both nod, but Poe is holding your head in his hands, showering you in kisses for where ever your head hurts. He sits back, bringing you to his lap. "Just accidentally bumped heads." 

Sabik frowns. "Do you need medical assistance? We can call one of the-" You smile shaking your head. "No. We're fine."

You bring your attention to Finn. "Walking again? How was it?" He shrugs.   
"Like before. My back hurts, but not as much. Sabik made it easy, letting me rest on them."   
"On them?"   
"Lean on them and stuff."   
"Oh." He lies back.   
"I'm just happy because this means, I get to leave one area."   
"Getting restless?" You ask with a smile.   
"Very." 

BB-8 chimes in. Finn gives the droid a blank look and Sabik steps in, translating. Warm breath tickles your ear. You scrunch up, turning slightly to the aviator. "I'll return the favor tonight." He whispers. You shake your head, hiding your smile.   
"Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u 4 reading :')


	20. Dances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The going away gathering commences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> curiousloveable gave the dancing prompt so I hope this is meets ur expectations :')

You change into something slightly nice. Nicer than the tunic. You wouldn't be alone with him. This time, you finally have a chance to see him around his friends. You fix your hair slightly and sit on your bed, thinking about him. You stand up quickly, grabbing a bag. You had to pack a few things for tonight and the day after. Your roommate comes in, noticing your outfit.  
"You going somewhere?"  
"Maybe." They nod, returning to their usual self, barely talking.

You sit on your bed, waiting. He'd come and get you. Every second is longer than the next. You haven't danced in a while, hoping you wouldn't embarrass yourself. But, dancing is about enjoying yourself to a rhythm. At least that's what you told yourself. You rush to the door when he knocks. 

He's dressed nicer as well. You give him a quick hug, hurrying out. "Can we stop by your room?" You lift your bag. "Yeah." He nods, gesturing for you to lead the way. You walk, turning to him slightly.  
"Are you wearing cologne?"  
He winks, "I might be."  
"Now you're the one with the maybes." You giggle, hurrying up the steps. 

Poe unlocks the door quickly. The room is empty again. "Finn and BB-8 are at the hangar already." He says as you put the bag on his bed.  
"Oh." 

You walk out into his arms. He kisses your forehead. You tilt your face up to him, your lips finding his. His hands lower to your waist. You break the embrace with a smile, "We have party to go to, Commander."  
He grimaces, "We do don't we?"

* * *

The small gathering is a little bigger than you expect. People stand in huddled groups, drinks in their hands. The music calmly plays. You see Ciro and Kaydel, sitting alone, their heads are close. But Ciro looks up when she sees you. She waves at you with a warm smile. Your friend takes the lieutenant's hand and they make their way over to you. 

Poe's arm wraps around your waist as they come. Ciro's arms wrap around your neck as if she hasn't seen you in a while. You tilt your face away from the hair buns.  
"(A/N)! You look good! Like really!" 

Her eyes go to your boyfriend with a wink. You pretend you don't see it, glancing at her friend. "This is Lieutenant Connix." You politely shake her hand. She's pretty up close. You still don't remember the context of their relationship and the waters remain murky as they walk off, Ciro's arm around her shoulder.

You watch as they walk away. You follow the tug from Poe as he walks over to the drinks.  
"This isn't really dancing music." He complains as he grabs one, handing you one as well. You smile.  
"We can dance to anything." He frowns slightly before shrugging.  
"True enough. Do you want to dance to this?" You shake your head no.  
"Thought so." 

Finn and Sabik are near Nien Nub. BB-8 is with them, rolling around a bit to the music, but for the most part stays close to the two. You take him over to them for a moment. "This is sort of lame." Sabik says dully, shaking their head. 

"It just started..." Finn's optimistic, watching the party people. "This is so..." He turns to Sabik, "We never had parties in the First Order. I mean, we'd have gatherings where the leaders would talk, but that's not really a party, per say. So, what usually happens?"

Poe interrupts, "Well, this isn't really a party. It's just a going off celebration, send us off in style. Plus it did just start." You give him a warm smile. "It'll be fun, right?" He nods, "Of course."

Sabik narrows their eyes, doubting that to be true, but says nothing.

He leads you over to some pilots. They greet him with the X-Wing handshake. You watch the excited action as their arms go into the air to form an X. They pat each other's backs and laugh. "So you must be the esteemed (A/N)." You start to curtsy, an old habit. You straighten and nod.  
"Yep."  
"Don't distract him too much."  
You chuckle, "I'll try not to." 

They start talking about what the mission holds. Their voices stay optimistic as they speak. Whatever they're up against, the Resistance can handle. 

You hear the music start to pick up, though it's still not enough to dance to. You rest your head on Poe's shoulder. His arm goes around you and he leans over to your ear. "We'll dance the next song." 

You nod, taking a sip of your drink. It's fruity and you wonder how they got a hold of something like this. It's nonalcoholic, not to your surprise. They didn't need hangovers to ruin their mission tomorrow. Their conversation however doesn't peak your interests. You mostly worry about your boyfriend's safety. Their strategy sounds sane and safe now, but that doesn't mean it will go that way.

The next song is more upbeat. The song is still slow, but enough. A few people are already dancing, but privately. Their conversation slowly ebbs. He takes a long swig before leading you away. "We'll be back." He says to his friends, putting his drink on some table. You put yours next to his, hoping to match his enthusiasm.

You're not in the middle of the designated dance floor. His hands drop to your waist, bringing you closer. You could smell the woodsy, masculine scent. His head rests against yours. His eyes are half-lidded. You smile at him, as the music continues to play. His hands move lower to your hips. You both sway your hips to the beat. Your arms wrap around his neck, resisting kissing him. Your heart juxtaposes the rhythm of the song, racing. You wonder if he can hear it over the lackadaisical beat.

Your feet move opposite of his. You glance down a bit to make sure you wouldn't step on his toes. But your eyes flick back to his. The warmth between you is contagious. Briefly, you focus on your breathing. The mixture of nervousness and your fluttering heart is a recipe for shallow breaths. 

"You're nervous." He says quietly.  
You chuckle, out of breath. His hands travel to the middle of your back, bringing even closer.  
"Don't worry... Just go with it." He sings softly. 

You close your eyes. "A kiss will make it better."

He laughs, tilting your face up to his. His lips are chapped but familiar. You catch yourself standing on your toes, slowly coming down as he pulls away. "You're adorable."

You shake your head and resume dancing with him. The kiss relaxed you as your hips move in time with his. The song passes quicker now. You don't want it to end. "Can we dance to other one?"  
"Yes."

The next song is just as fast, but the beat is somehow sexier. You tear your eyes away from his, noticing how most people still weren't dancing. You even see Ciro, standing near Kaydel. Ciro's hips waver from side to side, and she holds the woman's hands. You wonder what they're talking about as Connix smiles.

* * *

You lost count of how many songs you two dance. He leads you towards the Black One. He hides you behind and kisses your neck. You laugh, as his lips trail lower to your collarbone.  
"Poe! Oh!" You push him back, your laughs hurting your sides. 

He raises his eyebrow. "Too public." You say finally, touching his cheek. He groans, but keeps his distance. When you finally settle, you yawn. "Can we go to back to your room?" He nods, his hands fidgety at your sides. He takes your hand and you follow him.

The pilot stops first at his friends. They're smaller now as most people have decided to leave too.  
"Tomorrow's mission is like all the mission's before. The Resistance will not be intimidated by the unknown." 

The remaining pilots and fighters cheer at that. You look to see Ciro gone. Sabik and Finn are gone too. BB-8 however rolls over to you guys. 

It beeps at Poe. He gets on one knee briefly, listening to the droid talk about how dancing looks weird. "You should try it some time. But not now. We have to get rest for tomorrow." It agrees and comes with you both back to the living quarters.

* * *

Finn is fast asleep when you enter. "Is he a light sleeper?" You whisper to Poe.  
He shrugs. "I don't know, but I expect him to be."  
"Why?"  
"Storm trooper training."  
"Are you a light sleeper?"  
He smirks, replying, "I'm not a storm trooper." 

You go to your bag and pull out a shirt and some old shorts. BB-8 goes to its charge station. You take your top off, neatly folding it up before putting on your tee. It has the New Republic logo in the middle. He brings you closer as he sits on the bed. You sit on his lap, kissing his cheek. His hands rest on your thighs, turning his head to kiss you. You sigh, relaxing against him. His left hand inches between your thighs while his other hand goes to your bottom. His lips leave yours, going up to your ear. 

"Do you want to?" You smile, shaking your head.  
"I don't want to wake Finn."  
He groans quietly, "We can be quiet." 

You kiss him quickly, grinding your hips against his. He moans against you, proving you right.  
"When you get back."  
He sighs, resting his head against your chest. "Okay." 

You stand up, resuming your change. 

He changes as well. You slip into the bed before him, a grin on your lips. He lies beside you moments later.  
"How about earlier? Can I still return the favor?"  
You wink, "Since I promised." 

He holds your face in his hands for a moment, before bringing your wrists to the bed post again. You close your eyes as his hands travels between your thighs. 

A soft gasp leaves your lips. You're going to miss him when he's gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *classic ftb* thanks 4 reading :')


	21. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe returns back to D'Qar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small warning: blood and vomit

You're scared they got him again, this time for good. It's been a week and still no contact. You're not the only worried. Though they smile to keep you calm, you see the apprehensiveness in their eyes. Sometimes, tiny beeps from other droids perk you up, thinking BB-8 is back, they're back. Without him, you're distracted. Your mind drifts often, imagining scenarios, safe ones, where he returns in one piece. In one you see BB-8 first. He sent the droid for you and you follow it out to see him, victorious, unharmed. 

Sabik, Finn, and you sit around in their room and talk about him sometimes. You all hide your worry with jokes and laughs, but when the silence lingers too long, you wonder who will break first. Today, it's Sabik surprisingly. 

"The Black Leader is okay. I know he should be." Their hand rests on the protection necklace. "I prayed over it. The Gods shouldn't fail m-us now."   
You and Finn smile at them.   
"He's probably fine." You say, bringing your legs to your chest. 

"He's the best pilot in the Resistance. He's gotta be fine." Finn adds. But the silence comes back.   
"Missions don't last this long." You mutter, remembering how worried you were during a day long mission.   
"Then there's has to be a reason why he's taking forever." Finn replies, starting to pace.   
Sabik holds their charm. Their lips move but no words come out. Praying again.

* * *

You reside in Medibay, filing. It's been a quiet day. The nurses make their afternoon rounds with medicine. Finn comes in, his face uncomfortable. "I'm happy I moved rooms when I did."   
You laugh, knowing he was coming for his medicine.   
"How's your back?" He twists it, hiding the small twinges of pain.   
"A lot better... I'm getting stronger every day." You hand the small plastic cup over.   
"Good. The Resistance needs strong able bodies like you." You sit back, returning to the files. 

A memory plays in your mind, the first time he came here after he signed your journal. You remember admiring his profile, the fact he remembered you. Finn places the cup down and sighs.   
"So is this what you do all day?"   
You shake your head. "In the morning, I give the other patients their medicine. And then I do paperwork that the other nurses don't have time to do." 

You didn't like being an assistant, but you didn't have the training to do what they did. You couldn't wait for the day where General Organa decides the Resistance needs teachers. You were ready.

"What do you do now that you're mobile?"   
Finn shrugs, "I do whatever General Organa wants me to do. Which is mostly physical training."   
You nod. "That makes sense."   
"I don't want to be just a fighter though." Finn says shaking his head.   
"You are more than just a fighter. Without your bravery we-"   
"Wouldn't have been able to destroy the Starkiller Base. I know. General Organa tells that to me every time I complain."   
You chuckle, "Of course she does." 

He leaves soon after when the conversation dulls. You return back to your job, thinking of anything but Poe to stay concentrated. You think of Ciro and her long hair. Since Poe's departure, she wears it down. There's no apparent correlation, but you don't have any memories of it down before. You like the way it shimmers in light. She takes really good care of it. You wonder if her and Connix are okay.

The building shakes slightly in the familiar way of an aircraft landing or taking off. You barely notice it until the nurses rush from their areas. "They're back?" 

The question causes you to freeze, the files drop from your hands on to the floor. They look back at you confused. It takes you a minute before you return back to reality. "There has to be causalities." One nurse says.   
"We must prepare the rooms."   
Two of them go back and you quickly pick of the papers. You'd reorganize later. 

As you get ready to go to the back, the few doctors there are come into the building, barking orders. You've only seen them a few times. They're never needed unless the situation requires immediate attention. Otherwise, they're oversee the health of everyone, sending those about to be sick to Medibay for antibiotics. 

They tell you to go help prepare rooms. You hurry away, knowing it's only moments before the injuried are here. They tell a few others to go get the gurneys and a doctor will accompany them. The room is quiet, with only the sounds of packages being opened. The other sounds come from the outside as some movable patients come to their doorways to look out, see who joins them. The other nurses and volunteers keep them back. The commotion is bewildering, but you keep your eyes on the task at hand.

Once you and the nurses finish, they bring in two pilots. You don't have the heart to see who they are, but they aren't Poe. You're slightly relieved, walking out. "Volunteer!" A doctor yells, "Prepare another room." 

You go to the back, feeling a cold sweat bead on your neck. You weren't in Medibay the last time, when they stopped the First Order at Takodana. Just a passerby in the kitchen. You hadn't seen true injured bodies yet. You saw them already bandaged up. 

You rush in the room and start to prepare. Two other volunteers are already in there. You all stay silent again, the room tense. You watch as the youngest volunteer's hands slightly shake as they hand you their plastic waste. You throw it away, glancing out the door, wondering who else...

They fill the door as soon as you finish. The doctor shouts out orders to you three, telling you which tools and equipment they need. Your eyes hover to the patient that lies on the stretcher. Your heart sinks and you almost faint. He looks as if he's been brutalized. His face is swollen, bloody. They move him delicately from the gurney to the bed and you're still frozen. The other volunteers are scrambling as the nurses come in to take their places. 

One medic notices your shock and helps you out of the room. "Are you okay?" You shake your head no.   
"Go home." They say firmly.   
You nod quickly and rush out. You ignore the looks from doctors as you leave.

* * *

You see Finn on your way to your room. He's arguing with someone. "Why can't I see him?"   
"He needs medical attention first."   
"Is he okay?"   
"I cannot confirm or deny anything." 

You try to stay out of Finn's sight, but your stomach turns. You rush over to a waste bin and let the contents of your stomach out. You hold on to the wall, heaving. 

BB-8 finds your first. You hear its beeps while you move to your knees, feeling another wave hit you. Your chest burns as you retch again. You don't lift your head, afraid there's more. It beeps, asking if you're okay. You don't answer and it starts to roll into you. You hear Finn's footsteps as well.   
"(A/N)? Are you alright?" You exhale, the smell of sick filling your nose. You gag in response. After a moment of quick deep breaths, you turn to your friends.   
"Poe... Medibay..." You stand slowly, wiping your eyes.

Finn puts his arm around your waist and helps you back to your room. BB-8 follows. The droid is a little beat up, the white now dirty, covered in dirt and what is probably blood. You rest on your side in your bed, watching as Finn puts a waste bin by your head. You smile at the gesture and sigh. "What happened, BB-8?" He asks, sitting near your feet. The droid starts talking, its tone nervous almost. It rolls around the room, shaking its head as it describes the scenes that went on. You try your best to translate for Finn.

The squadron reached the area of intent and along with some Resistance fighters, cleared the area and found the objective. But it was a trap. First Order sympathizers captured them, death imminent. But they escaped barely. Snap was originally left behind, but Poe and a few others went back to save him. That's what took them forever. The others waited at a rendezvous point. BB-8 didn't go with, but when they arrived at the point, the pilot was hurt along with Temmin, but both alive. You clutch your stomach, shaking your head. 

"I would have done the same." Finn states after a few moments.   
You frown, "He could have died."   
"But he lived. They both did. And the fighters?"   
BB-8 beeps affirmatively, nodding. "Everyone lived." Finn says, sighing.

You close your eyes, trying to go to sleep, but sleep doesn't find you. Instead you see his face and the helplessness replaces your feelings of sickness.   
"I wish I could have done something..." You roll on to your back and explain to the both of them why they found you getting sick. 

"I'm sure they're taking care of him right now. They took care of me anyway." You exhale, turning back on your side.   
"I hope so." BB-8 beeps too. "You two should go. They'd tell you updates sooner than me."   
Finn nods and the two leave you alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry. ;-; thanks 4 reading tho.


	22. Last Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe tells the reader sorta what happens and Ciro opens up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually, I name chapters by what happens, but "Last Year" by Best Coast just came on and it fit Ciro's mood so that's why it's named last year lol...

Your nerves are on fire as you make your way down the hall. He asks for you the moment he wakes. They intend to get you as soon as possible, but delay the message due to the amount of traffic coming in and out. They need to get all the vital information while the memory is fresh enough. They could have asked one of the infantrymen or pilots who, though injured, weren't like those staying in Medibay. 

The volunteer at the desk smiles when they see you. "The message reached you? Thank goodness." They start to go through the files. They're flustered, papers scattered on the desk.   
"I know where his room is, unless he's been moved?"   
"He hasn't."

You smile quickly, rushing to his room.

Your hands shake slightly as you open the door. His face is still bloodied, but he lies in the cot with a smirk on his face. He whispers your name. You feel a smile form on your lips, against your will. You're happy to see him. Seeing him in pain hurts your heart however. 

"You scared me real bad, Poe Dameron." You say quietly.   
"Things happen... I'm sorry I scared you." He motions you to the side. You hold his hand. His eye focuses on you. "I'm not gonna stay in here long." He says shaking his head. "I don't know how you do it."   
"It's my job. Also, I'm not the one bandaged up."   
He groans. "It's just a few cuts and bruises." 

"A few?" You scoff, "A few broken ribs, fractured wrist, black eye... I haven't even read your chart yet."   
He laughs breathy. "Oh, (A/N). I can't laugh that much." You frown, looking away.   
"You should see the other guy though." He continues to chuckles. 

"You could have died!" Your voice is louder than you intend. He stops his teasing and motions for you to come closer. You close your eyes and shake your head, "You need to be careful! Don't be as risky!" He's silent still. You open your eyes to see him trying to keep up his poker face. 

"I'm sorry." He says finally, looking back at you. 

You finally break, sitting down at the chair by his side. His hand squeezes yours and you rest your head on the bed. "I couldn't leave Snap behind, love." He tries to sit up, but winces. You look up, hearing the small gasp come from the man. 

"No man is gonna be left behind under my command." You nod, understanding, standing a bit to help ease him back down.   
"You're such a good man." You say softly. 

He relaxes into the pillow, his breathing ragged. Your eyes go to the small table of gifts next to his bed. Your gaze returns to him, his breathing now normal enough for his situation. His hand leaves yours as he caresses your cheek. 

"Poe." Your hand rests on his. "I missed you so much." He motions you to get closer. You smile, finally coming to him. Your lips meet briefly before you pulled away. 

"I missed you too. But I'm here now. Back with you like I promised." You sit back hearing the door open. It's Statura.   
"Oh, should I come back a different time?" You shake your head.   
"I can come back later." Poe holds on your hand for a little bit longer, letting go with a heavy sigh. 

You resist kissing his forehead when you leave.

* * *

Ciro sees you first as you leave Medibay. She runs over, her hair up in a pony tail. "You saw him right?"   
You nod, "Just left him."   
"How is it? Is he going to make it? I heard it was dire."   
You shake your head, "He's fine, injured, but fine." 

She frowns, "And you?"   
"I didn't go through what he did."   
"Yeah, but he's still your boyfriend."   
You raise your eyebrow. 

"I mean I did worry for his safety, but still. And now he's back, banged up, but he's still Poe." You shrug. She takes your hand.   
"You're so strong, (A/N). If I were you, I'd never leave his side."   
"Never?" 

She nods, leading you to the living quarters. "Never. I'd want to stay with him forever. Ban him from going out."   
"Well that's not fair to him." Your friend stops and scowls at you.   
"Is it fair for you to sit around and wait for him to return?"   
"I didn't do that."   
You actually focused on your jobs, occasionally distracted by him in thoughts, but it felt like before as you worked through every minute not expecting anything in your routine to change.

Her hand lets go of yours. She doesn't say anything while you two walk back to her room. Not word comes from her as you two sit on her bed, gazing out her window. Her view is of the trees. It's so picturesque, you're slightly jealous as it frames her. 

"Lieutenant Connix doesn't like me." She says after a moment. You pat her back. "I'm sorry."   
"It's okay. I don't really like her either."   
"Why?" 

She sits back against her pillows, playing with the ends of her hair. "She said some things. I didn't like those things. I told her how I felt. And she didn't like that." Ciro keeps her tone clipped and calm, but you see the way her fingers brush her strands that she's angry.

"What things?" She sighs, shaking her head.   
"I don't want to burden you. You have Poe to-"   
"What did she say?" You ask again. 

She sits up, crossing her legs. Her hand goes to her hair and she lets it loose. "Romance is for those with too much time." She runs her fingers through the silky locks as she mimics the lieutenant.   
"'Oh, Ciro. I'm too busy to go for a walk around the base. Maybe next time. Maybe next time. Maybe after a few missions. Maybe, maybe.'" She shakes her head.   
"Maybe, always maybe. I asked, what about now? She said she was too busy. But I asked the General what could she possibly be doing? Had no idea. So I confronted her right? With my cute little buns to match her and she just says I should get my head out of the clouds, see reality. 'Romance has no place in my life right now.'"

You sit back, her voice cracks at the end of her sentence. "So I go, 'But what if it does for me?' And she says that I have to find someone else. Someone else." She starts laughing.   
"So I say, 'Give me my charm back.' That's when she gets all defensive, like 'But you said I could have it.' And I go, 'That's when romance had time in your life.' And I snatched it and ran. And then I've just been... I don't know." She shrugs. "Trying to figure out what went wrong. How blind and oblivious I am." 

You wrack your mind, wanting to say the right thing. But you're limited. Your relationships have ended through mutual agreements and/or death. You begin to worry about your relationship with Poe. 

"You love love." You say after a moment. Her eyes widen, expecting you to say more.   
"You like the idea of a real relationship. Remember back at home, when you would make up stories of you and whatever crush you had?" She frowns as she nods. You don't know where you're going with this, but you continue, hoping it makes sense.   
"In your fictional relationships, everything goes right. What small conversation to them is everything to you." 

Her frown deepens, "Are you saying that I imagine when people flirt with me?"   
You shake your head, "People do flirt with you, but when you like that person, you make the flirting into something bigger. Like maybe with Kaydel, she commented you and you were infatuated." 

She lies back, turning on her stomach. "Maybe."

"And so you thought every little interaction meant something. You gave her your charm for luck? You figured you two would be together for the long run."   
"Well I mean, it worked for you and Poe." She mumbles. You pause, thinking back.   
"If I hadn't gave him that page from my diary on accident, I probably would be crushing from afar. I don't have anything to give him besides a companionship. And this is about you and your 'break up' with Connix." 

She's silent for a while. A small sniffle gives away her crying. You're taken back. You didn't mean for her to cry. She sits up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "You're right..." She turns to you, trying to keep it together. "I'm being delusional."   
"Not delusional."   
"And selfish. You should be with Poe." You warmly grin.   
"Your feelings are valid, Ciro. You're hurt and that's normal."

Her roommate enters, a happy smile on her face. "I saw that Finn today. He smiled at me... He's not romantic with Sab-" She stops, seeing the puffy eyes of Ciro. "Oh. Sorry. Connix again?"   
Ciro nods and sighs, "I'm over it."   
You both give her a look of disbelief.   
"Anyway, Sabik and Finn?" Her roommate asks you. 

"I don't think so." You don't want to pry into another relationship. "Just friends." 

"Mhmm. He does like flowers..." You let them romanticize and turn your attention to Ciro. "I'm going to go back to Poe. But, if you ever need to talk, I'm still here for you."   
She exhales, "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it gets happier soon i promise. :')


	23. Dream of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader goes back to visit Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :')

BB-8 is making its way to its master as you walk in. It rolls right pass the check in. They barely give the droid a glance, but you they stop. It's a different person. "No one's allowed to have outside visitors."   
"Why?" You furrow your brow.   
"No one's allowed unless they're on this list. To keep the place from being too busy again."   
You cross your arms. "Can you at least check to see if I am?" 

They hesitate, checking your clothes for any leadership markings but find none. "What's your name?" You say your name, standing on your toes. 

They pause, "Oh... You're them. Sorry about that." You return to your soles and sigh, "It's okay." You wave their apology away as you head to his room. 

BB-8 is by the bedside, turning to the door as you enter. Poe's eyes are closed and he doesn't stir much when you close the door quietly. You go to the other side as the droid beeps a hello to you. 

He slowly opens his eyes to see you, chapped lips forming a charming grin. He exhales slowly. You still don't know what to say, sitting beside him. "You look worried again." You smile nervously, "I'm not worried. I just don't know what to say." 

You remember Ciro's upset expression from earlier. He doesn't try to sit up, only turning his head to see you better. 

"You don't have to know what to say all the time." He replies, shaking his head. Quickly he licks his lips. "Besides, having you here already makes me feel better." You chuckle.   
"Sweet talker."   
He smiles wider, "I'm trying."   
You sigh, relaxing in the chair. "How long do you think you'll stay in here?" 

He's silent for a moment. BB-8 answers for him. The injured nods. "That's a good estimate." 

"A few days? That's pretty optimistic of you two." You retort, knowing the stay to last at least one week for his ribs. And after, he wouldn't be able to fly until they were fully healed. "Why would I stay here?"   
"Because of your injuries." He tries to sit up again, but stops, lying down, his face slightly contorting. 

You look away. "Don't stress yourself, please." Your voice cracks.   
He murmurs, "This... Isn't even the worst, (A/N)."   
"That isn't supposed to make me feel better." You shake your head, "And it's not about me." You take a deep breath.   
"You just need to rest. Get better." 

He relaxes against the bed. You hear the droid roll over to you and ask you if you're okay. You flash a smile. "I'm fine." 

It continues to stare at you before looking at the pilot. He starts to smile again, singing to himself. He stops, turning his head to face you again. "I promised to sing to you right?" Your face tinges a soft rose.   
"You probably shouldn't." He takes your hand carefully.   
"Please?"   
Your other hand brushes his hair back, revealing a small laceration near his hair-line.   
"Fine." 

Poe closes his eyes and starts singing softly again. You rest your head against the bed as he continues. BB-8 joins in on key with small harmonies. You wonder how many times the pilot has sung this song enough for his droid to know how to harmonize. You imagine the two, sitting in Poe's room as he teaches the song. "No higher, BB-8. Not that high." The duo repeating certain sections in different tunes so the droid will always be able to join in no matter what.

The song ends to your disappointment and you raise your head with a frown. "You should sing more often." His bandaged hand goes to his torso.   
"Don't think I'm ready for a second go at it." His breathing is ragged again. You sit up, kissing his forehead briefly.   
"It's okay. All you need to do is get better. Sing for me another time." 

He smiles, closing his eyes. "I think, I'm going to take a nap." You nod. "I'll go then." 

He motions you to come closer. You lean down, kissing his lips carefully. His hand rests against your cheek, holding you desperate. Your hand rests on his pillow as he leans up, pulling you closer to him. You pull away, briefly setting your head against his. Poe's lips crack a crooked smile.   
"I hope I dream of you..." His voice lowers, "You make me forget about the pain."   
Your lips brush against his. His hand leaves your face. "Do you want me to stay until you sleep?" The commander thinks for a moment.   
"Only if you want to." You nod, sitting back, taking his hand in yours.   
"Then I'll stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	24. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream of You Pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all the fluff. i had a request a few days ago for a phrase and i snuck it in~

You wake when a nurse comes in. "Oh! I didn't know you were still here." Your hand still holds his. 

You don't remember falling asleep, but it doesn't surprise you. All you remember is sitting in the chair, watching him drift. You relaxed in the chair, your thumb brushing against the back of his. You closed your eyes getting lost in the small patterns, swirls turning into lines. He started to smile.   
"(A/N)... I love..."   
You paused, opening your eyes to check on the patient, wondering if he was up and if he was...   
"Poe?" You started, but saw he still slept. You relaxed back, squeezing his hand gently. 

He wakes up after you. He looks over, surprised that you're there too. The nurse notices your hands and smiles small. "Are you okay?" You nod, rubbing your thumb against his palm. You readjust your position, grinning.   
"How are you feeling?" The medic asks him.   
He smiles, "I'm better."

"Are you going to be staying the night?" The nurse asks you as they give the pilot medicine. He turns slightly, raising his eyebrow.   
"If he wants me to."   
He nods, "I do." 

The nurse nods briefly. "Okay. I'll bring you a blanket." You relax in the chair watching as he takes the pain medication. The medic leaves briefly. He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment.   
"I can't wait to sleep in my own bed."   
"It's not that bad, right?" He shakes his head.   
"In my bed, you wouldn't have to sleep in a chair." You laugh as the nurse returns with a maroon blanket.   
"Do you two need anything before I go?" You shake your head no.   
"(A/N), make sure you watch his breathing." You nod, taking the blanket. You might as well help out. 

The blanket is thin and scratchy. "Why'd you stay?" He asks once the attendant leaves. You move the chair closer to the bed.   
"I fell asleep too." You admit shyly, snuggling next to him.   
He sighs, "I did dream of you."   
You lift your head, raising your brow, "Really?" 

He nods, resting against the pillows. He looks lost in thought when he finally settles. "You were so beautiful. I mean you are, but this was almost angelic." He says, crinkling his forehead.   
"You...were like a hologram. I had to save you, but..." He shakes his head. "Never mind. Did you dream of anything?" 

You frown, wondering what was wrong. "I dreamt I went to my shift. It was awful."   
"How so?"   
"I was working." You reply, sitting back in the chair. 

He doesn't say anything, closing his eyes again. "I'm happy you're staying."   
"Me too." 

The silent persists and you sigh, wanting to say something, but not sure what you should say. You close your eyes as well, figuring sleep would be the better option. 

Noises from his bed wake you. You lift yourself momentarily, checking on him. He's awake, trying to make room. He beckons you closer, smiling briefly. "Po-"   
"You looked really uncomfortable in the chair. So I tried to make space for you."   
Your lips form a sleepy grin as you climb into the small cot. 

You rest your head against his shoulder as he adjusts against you. Your fingers meet and interlace. His lips press against yours gingerly. A demure smile crosses your lips, the casted hand crawling to your waist, bring you closer. Your lips meet again, the desperate energy from earlier slipping in as your lips part, allowing him to take control. 

You pull away, touching his chest. "Are you okay?" You ask, the urgency in his touches alarming you almost.   
He exhales, "Physically not really, but yeah. I'm fine." His mouth returns to you, this time on your neck.   
"Poe..."   
He sits up carefully, his breathing uneven. "What's wrong?" 

His face softens, but he doesn't say anything. The silence kills you as you try to read his expression and his body language. 

Poe sighs, "I... missed you." You smile back. "I missed you too."   
"I'm not going to lie. I was worried when we went back for Snaps that I wouldn't see you again."   
Your hand goes to his cheek. "But you did... I'm here aren't I?"   
He lies down, closing his eyes. "I have nightmares sometimes. About the First Order, about you." 

You glance over at the commander. In the moment, he looks tired, ready to give up. But you know that's not him. You imagine what he's gone through dealing with the Dark side than you ever had. 

"They'll never get you." You whisper, sitting up. "I won't allow it."

"I'm sorry I even brought it up." He shakes his head quickly. "We should be talking about the celebrations."   
You laugh quietly. "Or we can focus on you getting better before we do any reckless celebrations."

He opens his eyes to pout. "Don't be such a downer, (A/N)."   
"I'm not, but you have to get better to enjoy the fun." You rest beside him, his body hot against yours.   
"I guess I'll do it your way this time." He sighs exasperated.   
You cuddle closer to him, your head on his chest very delicately. His heart beats slow and monotonous, but the rhythmic tune lulls you to sleep.

* * *

The pilot wakes before you. You know because his hand gently rubs against your arm. You lift your head to him as he greets you with a warm smile. "I'm feeling so much better today. You've got to be a healer or something."   
You yawn. "Doubtful, love." The word causes you to remember yesterday and his dream. 

"Sorry I fell asleep on you last night. You’re just really comfy."   
He chuckles, "Didn't mind it at all. Plus there's not much space in this little bed."   
You stretch a little. "Do you think they'll be mad that we did this?"   
He shakes his head. "They came in a few times already. The only complaint was your head on my chest. But you weren't hurting me."   
You frown, "But I still could have hurt you, Poe." 

His signature charming smile crosses his lips, "Trust me, you didn't. It was quite comfortable anyway."   
You still move up to rest your head on his shoulder. When the nurses come back, you don't want them to chastise at you. 

"Anyway, what did you dream about?" You ask, wondering if he said I love you in his dreams and when he would say it in reality. You push away the thoughts that deem this inappropriate for your relationship at this time.

"I dreamt that I was flying. Like a bird. And I went to this interview and they wouldn't let me get the job because I was an actual bird. It was so vivid. My feathers were green and blue with purple ends... I've never seen a bird like it before. I just remember puffing up my chest and cawing at them and flying away so upset." You picture bird Poe, complete with a mini Resistance helmet and smile.   
"You would have been a good pilot." You say, your hand resting on his cheek.   
"What about you?"

You sit back, trying to remember. It was uneventful. "Nothing really happened. I don't remember much. You were there, but that's all."   
He scoffs, "That's very boring, (A/N), not going to lie."   
"I'm sorry that my dreams aren't me as a bird trying to be a pilot." 

"If you were an animal, you wouldn't be a bird."   
"What would I be?" You inquire.   
"Ah, I don't know. Maybe some sort of cute one."   
"Cute one?"   
"Because you're just so cute." 

He leans over to kiss your nose. You rest your head against his forehead. "Your meds kicked in?"   
He shrugs, sighing. "Possibly."   
You raise yourself up, wondering how much time has passed. "Then I should go." 

He whines as you leave the bed. "What am I going to do without you?" You hide a broad grin, your lips twitching slightly with uncontrollable delight. You delight in the actuality that he would miss you enough to gripe about it. But, you had to help the Resistance in other ways than keeping watch of your injured commander. You look back at him with an innocent mien. 

"I don't know. Get better?" 

He rolls his eyes. "I guess I could do that." You smirk as you kiss his forehead. "I'll be back."   
"I'll be here. 'Getting better.'" You wink as you leave. You'd find a different time to ask about his dream, if he'd remember anyhow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading again :')


	25. Moving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe returns to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it happens. nsfw ahead.

You check on him before you go to your daily shift until he's finally given the OK to leave. Sometimes you walk around the building together, taking it slow. According to him, it's when he gets the majority of his movement. He can walk around his room, but they want him stationary so he won't hurt himself further. 

Your shift in laundry goes by slow enough. You have free time in between washes and open up your journal. The page soon fills with sketches of flowers and unfinished faces. You brought it with you today because you knew you'd be bored. You sit back in your seat and start a new doodle of Ciro. She's across the room, folding. It's a rare occasion for you two to have the same shift at the same time. But neither of you could speak due to your distance. That didn't stop you as you plan to drop this doodle in her pile and she'd do the same, sharing knowing glances. 

"I don't look like that." Your friend says as she puts a new pile of freshly dried clothes on your table.  
"It's not supposed to be accurate." You reply with a fiendish smile. She sits beside you, sighing loudly.  
"Have you heard?"  
"Heard what?" 

Ciro raises her eyebrows in a little bit of shock. "You haven't?"  
"Haven't what? Heard what you're going to tell me?"  
She nods, "Once I tell you, you'll leave me." She starts to fold some pants. "I don't want you to." 

"Ciro." You say, putting your journal away. "I'll tell you after we finish this." You know it's a lie but you give in, listening to idle gossip, mostly about her past flings and how her sister is. Sooner or later, you tune her out, thinking about Poe. He mentioned something today about moving back to his room. You doubted that to be true, but wouldn't be surprised. He wouldn't be ready to fly until his ribs healed. 

You fold the last article of clothing while Ciro flips her hair over her shoulder. "Your pilot is moving rooms."  
You nod, "Yeah." You put the shirt down, shrugging. "I knew that already."  
Her original enthusiasm dissipates. "Oh." She rolls her eyes, "Of course you do... Any news about Rey and the last Jedi though?"  
You shake your head. 

"Same."

After a moment, you both decide to leave a little early. She's humming a song and then turns to you. "You know, they should make their own little cantina here on the base. I mean, that pilot party was fun, but there should be an area where we can all just relax, listen to music, dance..."  
You shake your head, "This base wasn't supposed to be 'the base.'"  
She grimaces. "I know that." She's silent for a moment. "Are you going to go visit your boyfriend?"  
You shrug. You just saw him this morning. "Maybe."  
She bumps your shoulder. "You should. He's probably looking forward to see your pretty little face again." 

You laugh, rolling your eyes. "Mhmm.." 

You separate once you reach the quarters. She planned on going with you to your room, but saw Connix and turned around going to her room. Her hurt feelings weren't quite healed yet and you respected that. But since she changed her mind, you leave to see if he was moved.

* * *

Your knock is soft. You're not sure he heard, but the door opens moments later. His hair is disheveled, his bruised eye a little red, wearing a dark shirt and matching sweats. "You okay?" You ask, seeing the frown on his lips.  
"Not really." He lets you in. 

Your arm goes around his waist and he leans down against you. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" He sits on the bed, looking to you.  
"I'm happy, so happy, to be back in my own room, in my own bed. But." He motions for you to sit by him. "I can't fly."  
"I told you that before, Poe." His frown deepens, resting his head on your shoulder.  
"But I didn't think they would actually make me, the best pilot in the universe, not fly."  
You smile small. "You can get through this. We can get through this." 

He lifts his head briefly to kiss you. "You're so positive." He returns to kiss your happy lips. His hands go to your hips, pulling you closer. You break the kiss with a laugh. "I try to make you feel better." He sits back against his pillows. You notice he has more than previously, the added probably for his injuries. 

"Then why don't you help me now?"

You're careful as you straddle his hips. He's fragile now, but still has the strong exterior and spirit you know. He closes his eyes as you lean down to kiss him. You stop, "Are you sure you're okay enough?"  
He nods, "Just be careful around my chest." 

His casted hand goes to your hair and he brings you lower to kiss him, his growing beard scratching your face.

Your fingers travel to his chest and unbutton his shirt. His tongue grazes your teeth before swirling around yours. His unharmed hand rests on your hip, squeezing gently. You're tempted to rush, not knowing when Finn would inevitably walk in. But his slow meticulous kiss keeps you from moving too fast. 

His hips buck gently against your own, prompting a small moan from your lips. He continues the slow rhythm, fist full of hair to keep you from pulling away. His hand at your waist reinforces the movement if you grind too quickly to his liking. Your fingers trace patterns on his chest, feeling the scars both old and new.

He lets go of your hair, his hand going to your hips. You sit up, panting slightly. Your hands go to the end of your top. You toss the shirt aside, returning your lips to his. Your chest brushes against his own. His lips attack yours. The pilot's hands play at your waist band, the movement picking up pace. You whimper against his hips, your chest bouncing slightly with him.

You pull away with a smile before rolling to the side. His eyes stay with yours as you begin to take your pants off. He looks away finally to take his shirt off. You begin to take your underwear off when he shakes his head. 

"Keep them on." 

You pause, curiosity growing as he pulls his sweatpants off. You smirk seeing the lack of his own underclothes. You get on all fours between his legs. He sits up against his pillows, watching.

He's already a bit hard because the early grinding. He lets out a quiet gasp as your tongue travels up to his tip. You bring your lips to his waiting member, gently kissing it before slipping your tongue out to swirl around the tip. You flick your eyes up to his face. His eyes are half-shut, looking down at you briefly before closing all the way. 

You're careful as your mouth wraps around his thick cock. His breathing hitches, chest slightly heaving. You remove your mouth, your hand holding him. "Don't stress yourself with your breathing."  
He groans, "You say that as you're giving me a blow..." 

You laugh quietly before returning your mouth, trying your best to fit him. Up close, he's slightly bigger than your felt him up to be previously. He croons softly as your mouth reaches the base, his hand returning to your hair. You bring raise up slowly before beginning a slow rhythm. You close your eyes, moving your hands to his thighs. He steadies you with a few tugs of your hair. Your bobbing begins to vary as you drag your finger tips up and down his inner legs, grazing his balls barely. You rest on your stomach, your feet in the air, crossing at the ankle. His mouth sputters words of encouragement, his grip slightly tightening. 

"Don't be afraid to get a little messy, luv." You lift your head, tilting your head to the side. "Messy?"  
His shaft is covered in your warm saliva. He nods, sitting up slightly. "Just a little bit longer..."

You return him to your mouth, this time letting him control the speed. He's more vocal this time as you take him down to his rhythm. "This time a little deeper." He murmurs, holding your head lower at his base. 

You take a deep breath through your nose, your tongue slightly brushing against the underside. He tosses his head, cursing, letting you up. You continue, careful not to go that deep again, putting your hand at his base as a buffer. You raise your hips, focusing on the tip as you quickly lick the tip, lapping at the droplets of pre-cum. You go down again, feeling his hand return, but to bring you up. "You continue with that, I won't be able to take care of you, (A/N)."  
You chuckle, "Why can't I take care of you?" 

He kisses you passionately, his tongue entering quickly. Your hand continues to stroke him, his groans against your mouth enticing you. He pulls away, sitting up carefully. "Lay down." You rest beside him, worrying about him stressing himself. He gets on his knees, holding himself. At your thighs, he presses himself against underwear, rubbing his now hard erection against your sensitive nub. You moan his name, lift your leg to lie on his chest. He continues the motion, a lewd smile residing on his lips as he notices the dampness of your underwear. 

"Turn on already?" You laugh nervously. "That feels so good." You cover your eyes as he pulls away, removing the ruined fabric. You wait for him to enter, but chills dance across your body as he begins to kiss your inner thigh, his stubble scratching you. You laugh breathlessly when he goes to the other one, still teasing you. 

"Should you lie on your stomach?" He removes his mouth responding quickly, "Do you want to sit on my face then?" You couldn't help but laugh, shaking your head. He crawls up to you kissing carefully.  
"Will that help you?"  
He moves to your neck, "I don't care." You gasp, his mouth seizing the skin. You arch your back, his hand between your thighs.

He pulls away, deciding for you, getting on his back. You watch, brow furrowing. "We don't have to if you don't want to." You kiss him gently. "I do." 

He moves a few of the pillows over, resting low. You cautiously move up to his head, facing the wall. He wastes no time, kissing your tinder sex. You hold on to the headboard, as he parts your lips. You whimper as his tongue explores. The pilot's hands rest on your ass, holding you up. You could hear your heart beat in your ears, the blush spreading across your body. He sucks gently on your swollen clit. One hand leaves the headboard, massaging your hardening nipples. You close your eyes, mewling his name as he continues, with infrequent smacks to your reddening bottom. 

You're afraid to let go of the headboard as his tongue circles around, making odd patterns that cause you to squirm above him. You grind your hips against him, your legs and stomach tensing. He pats your ass and you move your leg so he could sit up. "You're making the cutest noises, (A/N)." You blush as he kisses your shoulder. 

Poe helps you to your back, getting in the earlier position. He holds himself as he rubs his tip against you again. Your hand goes to his hips, rocking gently with him. You buck your hips against his, shaking your head.  
"If you keep on, someone might walk in..."  
He chuckles, "You're loud enough that they won't."  
He leans down, kissing you quickly before holding himself up. "Don't stress yourself, Dameron."

He enters so agonizingly slow. You hold on to his arms as he kisses you deeply this time. One arm moves to his hair as he fills you. You whimper his name as he moves out, your walls desperate to keep him inside.  
"Say my name." He growls. Your mouth opens as your hips buck against him.  
"Oh, Poe!" You sob, your arms going to his shoulders as he enters slowly again. 

Your hips meet with a quiet smack. Your eyes close, wanting him to go faster, but didn't want to rush him.

He sits up for a moment, watching as your chest bounces in time to his thrusts. "You're so fucking gorgeous, (A/N). So beautiful."  
You cover your eyes with your arm, panting. He starts to sing your name as his pace varying. The fast movements cause you to cry out, your arm leaving your eyes holding on to the sheets. 

His greedy hand massages your breast, the nipple still hard. The other goes to your clit. You bit your lip, bucking slightly.  
"Let me here your voice, babydoll." He moans.  
You let out body aching moans as his thumb brushes against your sensitive bud. You open your eyes to see him, watching biting his lip now. 

He slows and you whine in response, but he lifts your leg, his hand leaving your chest. You writhe against him, feeling as he brushes your spot easier now. "There..." You whimper. His pace remains slow, brushing the area.  
"There?" You nod, breathing through your mouth. 

He quickens, just a bit to cause an embarrassing noise to come from your lips. You feel the heat rising on your face, but he barely notices, tossing his head back.  
"You're so warm around me. Do you like how I stretch you?"  
You whimper back, "Yes, fuck yes."  
He smiles wide. "I love it when you curse." 

He removes his hand from your delicate nub, bringing a finger to your lips. You eagerly suck the digit, maintaining eye contact. Your hands go to breasts, squeezing and perking the nipples.

He removes his finger, pulling out. "Ride me, sugar." 

He lies back on the bed carefully. You sit up, your legs shaky. You straddle him again, slowing coming down to his hips. He groans, as he enters you. You rest on your knees, wondering if you had any energy left to ride him like he wanted. Plus you didn't want to hurt him further. You lift your hips. You cry his name as you begin the leisurely thrusts. His hand comes back to your swollen nub. You grind your hips against his, picking up your speed slightly with his fondles. You're coming apart above him, trailing your fingers on his chest. 

The pilot's hands travel to your hips, moving you a bit faster. "You want me deeper, love?" You moan yes, gripping his shoulders for support. His mouth catches your nipple and sucks on the sensitive bud as you whine. Your stomach tightens as do you around him. You know you're close and so does he. His hand travels up to your hair, bringing you to his lips. 

Your lips stay locked with his as he holds you closer. He breaks the kiss briefly. "Can I come inside?" His breath is hot on your ear. You nod, sitting up. 

It's warm inside as his thrusts are fast and concise. Your legs tense around his thighs, the warmth growing beyond your thighs, goosebumps dance across your heated body. He relaxes against his pillows, a speechless smile on his face. You carefully sit up, both of you breathing heavy. When your orgasm subsides, you move to the side, him slowly dripping from you. He watches, raising his eyebrow. 

"This is going to hurt later." He says returning to his back. You frown, shaking your head.  
"Why didn't you stop us then?"  
He chuckles, touching your cheek. "I didn't want to. Plus I'll get better. Now, hand me my pants before someone comes in." 

You sigh, hoping that he wouldn't be too injured because of this. He slips his bottoms on quickly. You start to put on your clothes but he touches your arm. "Stay the night again?" You smile, "I will, but I have to dress, love." 

You crawl out of the bed, putting your clothes back on. When you face him, his face contorts and he curses. "Poe?"  
His hand goes to his chest. "Terrible idea. Why didn't you stop me?"  
Your eyebrow raises. "You told me you could handle it."  
He shakes his head, the pain subsiding a little.  
"You're part of my impulse control. And I really wanted to." He sighs, "Next time, make me wait (A/N)." 

You kiss his forehead. "Okay. Do you need anything before I go?" 

"You're leaving?" The injured sits up, wincing before lying back down.  
"I'll be back."  
"But (A/N)." He whines, holding your hand.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I'll miss you."  
You giggle at the neediness. "I'll be back." You repeat, pushing the tousled hair back. "Will you bring back some snacks?"  
"Snacks?" You ask, stretching. "I have some rations over by BB-8's charge station. I don't think I'll be moving much however."

Your expression remains unchanged as you hand him the rations.  
"Please take care of yourself while I'm away." He smiles considerately. "I will, honey."  
You shake your head as you leave, running your fingers through your hair in case of matting. You didn't want a curious friend to notice and ask questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading~


	26. Sparring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader runs into their friends and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ciro gets nosy lol

Sabik and Finn are down the hall, talking to each other. They both look a little fatigued, but hold heady smiles. Sabik notices you first. You wonder how long they've been there and if they heard you and Poe just minutes earlier. "Ah, (A/N)!" They wave you over. "No one told me that Finn is a skilled sparer."   
Finn only shrugs, "They trained us from birth."   
"I can tell. But, you still cannot defeat me." They laugh, their shoulders shaking.   
"That's because I'm still injured."   
"Excuses, my friend."

"Anyway, did they move Poe?" The mention of his name brings shivers down your spine. "Yeah. I just checked on him."   
"I bet he'll make a swift recovery." Sabik chimes in, wiping their forehead with the back of their hand.   
"And no one has heard anything from Rey."   
"She's probably training with the Jedi. I imagine she'll save us from the First Order."   
Your friend smiles wide before patting their partner's back. "You should rest. Maybe tomorrow you can defeat me."   
They leave, still laughing. You've never seen Sabik so happy before. You smile, bringing your attention to Finn. 

He's shaking his head, "They're really strong... Do they fight in battles?"   
"No. Sabik is a volunteer."   
His eyes widens. "I didn't believe them when they said that they could kick my ass."   
You chuckle, "They said that?"   
"Well, not that. But something similar. Formal." He rests against the wall. "When do you think they're coming back?" 

You pause, wondering who he's speaking about but the soft forlorn look tells you it's Rey. 

"No idea. How long do you think it takes to be trained as a Jedi?"   
He lowers his head, "A lifetime. But we don't have a lifetime." He stands up straighter. "I don't know what the First Order plans to do next. But they'll be coming for us with more of a vengeance. We need them."   
You frown, stepping back. "I'm aware."   
"I'm sorry." He says quietly. "We just need to be ready."   
You nod, "And we'll be ready." 

The man goes to his room soon after. You head to your room, but see Ciro. Her eyes are shifty as she comes to you. "Sabik is real chipper about something. What's the something?"   
You smile. "They've been training with Finn."   
Her hand rests on your shoulder, "No way."   
You nod. "Yeah. They were just talking about it. Sabik beat him."   
"You're a liar." Ciro laughs, her arm locking with yours. "Tell me more." 

You tell her what you know as you go to your room. "Are they more than friends maybe?"   
"Probably not." You open your door, turning on the light.   
"Why do you say that?"   
You grab your bag and start packing sleep clothes and something to wear the next day. "Because he likes talking about Rey. That'd be a turn off to anyone." 

She watches as you debate regular underwear compared to cuter ones. You two wouldn't repeat what you did earlier because of his chest, but you didn't mind teasing him a bit.   
"My roommate is so into him. She's only said a few words to him, but it's love." Ciro snorts. "How do you think Sabik will react when my roommate asks him to do something alone?"   
You toss the cute ones in your bag. "Sabik would worry that your roommate has ulterior motives. Try to protect him or whatever that means." You move on, picking out some old shirt.   
"I guess. We'll see what happens. Sabik would win in a fight against anyone." Her voice trails and she sits on your bed. "Why the cute ones?" 

A quick anxious smile crosses your face as you put the shirt in the bag, not bothering to fold it, flustered. "Cute what?"   
She nods towards the bag. "Don't play dumb (A/N)." She shakes her head, chuckling. "I mean, do you two do it with Finn right there?"   
You can't hide your growing blush.   
"You do? Oh my goodness (A/N). You are a lot dirtier than I thought." 

You look up, "No. We don't. Why can't I just wear something cute?"   
She raises her eyebrow, "Because your boyfriend is out of Medibay and you two haven't been 'reunited' since he got back."   
You start to fold your pants for tomorrow, trying to figure out what to say to your nosy friend. 

"We have to wait until his ribs are better. He's still fragile."   
"Fragile." Ciro repeats.   
"He can't even fly right now."   
She shakes her head, "Okay, okay." 

She relaxes on your bed, resting on her crossed arms. She's deep in thought for a moment. "So is he big?" She says finally.   
"Ciro!"   
She sits up, cocking her head to the side. "You should know by now. Or are you making him wait until forever?" She tsks, "I don't think the pilot would like to wait until forever, luv."   
You frown, continuing to pack the overnight bag.   
"He's probably massive. I mean, he acts like it is." She makes a face. "But in reality, he could have a small one. Personality makes up for what's lacking. Personality and looks." 

You ponder telling her, but instead roll your eyes, grabbing a work shirt. "He's average."   
"Average?"   
You nod, figuring she'd stop asking questions then, but instead, she's sitting up now, leaning closer to you.   
"In the X-Wing?" You shake your head, "No."   
"Where?"   
You look at her exasperated. "Where we want."   
"Where you want?"   
You roll your eyes, "Yeah." She huffs back. "I won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about." 

You know from the past that she won't, but you decide not to tell her so soon. It's still new to you. "I'll tell you later." She holds out her pinky.   
"Seriously? It's a bit childish don't you think?" She continues to hold it until you wrap yours around it. 

She gets off your bed and starts babbling about how she talked to Kaydel. Their relationship remains unchanged however as her eye has moved on to someone else. You're sure she's told you before, earlier, but can't remember much past checking on Poe.

She sits on the bed again, sighing. "Was it at least nice?" You zip up your bag, laughing in disbelief that she's asking about it again.   
"Well yeah." You nod.   
"That's all that matters." She stands, dancing to a tune in her head. You watch briefly before picking up your bag.   
"Did you just pack that only to go back?"   
You shake your head. "I packed this and now I'm going to check on him. He stressed himself out a lot moving back to his room."   
Her eyes widen a bit. "I bet he did."   
You roll your eyes again. "Ciro, the man is injured. Why would I do that?"   
"The more you deny, the redder you become." You look away and she sways a little.   
"I'll leave it be. Until you want to tell me." She picks up your journal and hands it to you. "And draw me better next time." 

Your friend leaves before you, whistling. You put your journal back, grabbing your diary before sitting back in your bed, wondering what your injured significant other is doing. Probably listening to Finn tell his defeat to Sabik and the rest of his day. You find where you last left off and start writing. You try to sound as professional as you describe your events of the day. His hands against your body, the caresses. 

You stop midway, hearing your door click. Your roommate enters with a grimace on their face. "I'm surprised you're not with Dameron."   
"I was about to go. Just doing some journaling." They nod, not really caring as they retire for the night.   
"Make sure he's mentally sound. He didn't take it very well that he wouldn't be able to fly until fully healed."   
"I'll try my best."

You finish vague, putting the diary away. You know your roommate wouldn't bother in reading it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading~


	27. Pretend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe takes care of the X-Wing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff :')

The next few weeks go by quickly. It's the same routine for you since the nurses and doctors recruited you to be Poe's personal nurse. Most of your day is just talking to him and making sure he's comfortable. Sometimes you go for walks around the base. BB-8 accompanies you two on occasion. It's more enthusiastic about its master moving about than seeing you, sometimes rolling between you if a hug goes on too long or if the conversation doesn't include it as much as it likes. You don't mind, understanding their relationship goes much deeper than your own. 

"In a few more days, I'm going to be fully healed. And we're going to get outta here for a few days." You laugh, shaking your head. "I love your positivity."  
"Tell it to me straight, (A/N). How much longer?"  
"Two weeks tops."  
"Two weeks? Oh my goodness! Do you know much I could do in two weeks, if I could fly?"  
"Don't stress yourself, Poe." You urge, hearing the excitement in the pilot's voice. 

"I just want to fly." He says shaking his head. "I feel so useless right now."  
"You're not useless. They told you earlier that you could work on the Black One." You still have to go with him in case he does hurt himself again.  
"It's not the same thing." 

You stop your walk, putting your hands on his cheeks.  
"Everything is going to be okay. You'll be able to fly in a few more weeks and we'll go where you want."  
He relaxes for a moment before frowning. "How are my boys?" You pause. You didn't know the exact details since you only had information pertaining to him.  
"They're fine. Some will have to wait longer than you due to their injuries."  
He nods, his frown slowly going away. "That's good."

You kiss his cheek, "Don't worry. Worrying will make it worse." He wraps his arms around your waist, picking you up slightly. "Of course."  
"So will this." You add, hoping he wouldn't hurt himself again with you.

He puts you down carefully, taking your hand. "Let's go work on the Black One then."  
"I'll watch." You say as he leads you to the hangar.  
"Why not help me, babe?" 

You grimace. You fear you would mess something up with his precious aircraft. You know how dear it is to him and his droid. If anything happened to it, both of them would be upset. "I don't want to break anything."  
He chuckles to himself. "You can hand me the tools at least. I doubt you'll break anything that way." 

The hangar is much different from you remember. But it was darker, with colored lights. Now it's as busy as it could be. Some pilots hype themselves up seeing Poe, expecting this to be his big day. They haven't flown much since the mission. But their eagerness simmers seeing you and your nursing uniform. "Still a no fly." Someone whispers. The Commander scratches his chin when you reach the Black One. It's scratched up, but not as bad as when it came back.  
"You need a paint job." He says to the X-Wing. 

You watch as he grabs a ladder and a writing pad and meticulously marks where each scratch is. Since he has at least two weeks of no flying left, he would plan on using every moment making his X-Wing the most attractive. It wouldn't be a hard task, but the heedful gleam in his eye made out to be one. You continue to watch carefully as he stretches a little more than you would have suggested to check if an imperfection was just that. He winces in response, but marks it now as a scratch. 

"Please don't over exert yourself." The pilot looks over with a charming smile. "I won't. Hand me the black tape." You head over to his tool box and hand him the tape. He takes it and marks the scratches that way. You stand there a little longer, not sure what to do. 

He sees the conflicted look on your face as he marks another scrape. "What's wrong?"  
"I don't know what to do." He motions you closer, climbing down.  
"Talk to me up here then." He nods towards the seat.  
"Are you sure?" You fret, not wanting to accidentally turn something on and make matters worse than small blemishes.  
"Yeah. Don't worry. Nothing will happen." You climb up, sitting in the dark leather seat. You haven't sat in it without him behind you before. 

You look over the controls and buttons with a new set of eyes. Before, you glanced at them without thinking much. "This looks very complicated." You hear yourself say.  
"Not particularly. But I've been at it for a while." He marks a few scratches near the cockpit.  
"Your eye looks better." You comment, noticing the bruise has yellowed and isn't as noticeable.  
He smiles, ripping a piece of tape off. "Thanks."  
"How are your other injuries?" You ask, curling up and resting your arm on the seat. 

He thinks for a moment. "My chest still hurts sometimes when I breathe. My hand... At first I didn't care about it, but then you and Finn drew on it which I really like." He flashes the casted hand to you. He requested the newer cast be the same colors as his X-Wing and with your markers, you and Finn decorated it with doodles of each other and friends.  
"I'm just happy my legs weren't badly hurt." Poe says, resting against the aircraft. "Two weeks is a long time." He mutters.  
You shake your head. "You'll be fine." You want to say more, something more concrete to make him feel better, but he slides down the ladder.

You sit back in the seat, looking up, wishing you had brought your journal. Then you could do something to keep your mind busy. You glance over as he climbs back up. "How are you?" He asks. "Bored." He hands you his helmet. "Why?" "Because I don't know what to do for you."  
"You being right here is good enough for me. Plus," he starts to mark off more blemishes, "you're looking mighty fine sitting there." 

You grin, sinking low in the seat, holding his helmet in your hands. Your finger trace the emblem and then dance over to the stripes. "Tell me what you're thinking." You hum, contemplative.  
"What will be for dinner later... Where you'll take me. Why you you handed me your helmet."  
He answers proudly, "Whatever we have will be fine. I can't tell you where we're going to go. It's a surprise. And because I wanted you to hold it."  
You snort. "A surprise." 

He places the helmet on your head with an accomplished smile. "Well, hello Black Leader. You've gotten a bit shorter." You narrow your eyes before smiling back.  
"Still an amazing pilot." You push the helmet back a little. It rests lower on your face and you feel almost like a child playing dress up.  
He doesn't seem to mind, returning back to the X-Wing, charting every nick and crack. You stay in the seat, careful not to turn it on, and pretend that you're Poe. 

You imitate the noises of flying and the intercom. "Kkkkerr, Black Leader reporting in. Target in range. On my left. Kkkkkeeerr." You continue to make up the battle as you go, as it gets hairy. "Oh no! Sabik is down! Kkkkeer. It's up to me, the best pilot in the whole Resistance now!" 

You look out into the hangar seeing the space and universe as you dodge oncoming attacks from the First Order to destroy whatever you had to. You close your eyes, imagining the final hit, and flying out.  
"Woohoo! Kkeer, we did it again." You smile wide, looking over to see the real pilot watching amused. 

"Enjoying yourself?" You feel a blush crawl on your face and you bring the helmet lower. "I might be." You mumble, not sure what to say. 

He tilts your face up and kisses you briefly. You hear a few ooh's from other pilots but ignore them as he pulls away. "You're adorable." He returns to the Black One's scratches. "What was that 'keerr' sound?" Poe asks after a moment.  
You hesitate, still embarrassed. "The microphone."  
He chuckles, "We don't have that, love."  
You roll your eyes, "I assumed that when you asked." You take the helmet off, fixing your hair. 

"I was a fan of the 'woohoo' however." He responds, winking. You lean down, resting your arm over the aircraft. "Was it accurate?"  
"Very." Your smile returns when the Commander's lips meet yours. His hand rests on your cheek as he brings you slightly closer. You laugh when the kiss ends.  
"I can't wait to actually fly. Hmm, maybe I'll teach you."  
"Teach me?" You still close your eyes when he takes you out.

"Yeah. I've been flying since I was six. Trust me I say that I can teach you." You shake your head. "I think I'll stick to pretend."  
"C'mon, (A/N). Think of all the places you could go."  
"You could take me there. Besides, I don't think the General would like you teaching a novice like me on the Black One."  
He sighs, "Fine. Only because she would disapprove." He helps you out and you hold his helmet, debating to put it back on. 

You find a small stool to sit on and watch as he begins to buff out one scratch. You turn in your seat to see what others are doing. Mostly people are doing variations of upkeep. Then some socialize. You put the helmet on again, wondering if they heard you playing pretend. Something metal bumps you and beeps. You smile turning to BB-8. It asks why you're wearing the helmet.  
"Poe's letting me." The droid compliments you, beeping quietly.  
"I doubt I look better than the actual owner, but thank you friend." You pat its head and it rolls over to the working pilot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading and your lovely comments. it's all really appreciated.


	28. Morning Trips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe's been cleared to fly for the past week and has a special few days planned for the reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff and kisses and bb-8. more to come :') but updates will be fewer since school has started up again

It's barely morning hours when there's a knock on the door. Your eyes flutter briefly before closing tightly. The native sun barely breaks the horizon. Your roommate groans, placing their pillow over their head as the knocker continues. You tear the warm covers from your body reluctantly and head to door, sleep still clinging to you. You didn't bothering looking into the peephole, preparing a stern talking to filled with sleepy slurred speech to whoever decided to awake you up now.

He's in his bright orange flight suit, though it's unzipped. "Pack your things." Poe whispers.   
"Pack?" You ask, taken aback. The fabric reflects the lights from the hallway emitting a slight glow. You squint as he explains.   
"For three days. I have a surprise for you."   
"Dameron." You start, wondering where he would be taking you for three whole days worth of clothes. 

The commander had been acting jittery lately as well since they cleared him. He spent every moment he could taking the Black One for small runs here and there, coming back on a high full of compliments and quick talks before going on to something else. "It'll be good! I promise."   
"Why so early?"   
"So it won't be late when we arrive." He steps back, "Meet me in my room okay?"   
You nod, yawning. "Okay."

You shut the door quietly, hearing a soft click. Your roommate has already fallen back asleep, a soft snore coming from under the pillow. You rub your eyes, trying to rid yourself of sleep. It's too early to be moving, period. But you suffer through, grabbing your duffel from underneath your bed and start packing. You don't make a fuss over what you bring, grabbing the closest items near you. You didn't have clothes besides that tunic and maybe a pair of pants that were nice enough. Under garments are the same, tossing them in quickly. The faster you did this, the faster you'd be napping to the destination. 

You dress yourself sloppily, not bothering to fix your hair even, pulling a shirt on and some pants. You don't tell your roommate where you're headed, figuring they'd know it was 'pilot business,' their name for anything involving your relationship with Poe.

Him and BB-8 are already heading down the stairs when you make your way towards it. "Ah, good you're ready!" He flashes a welcoming smile and BB-8 beeps towards you. "I _am_ tired."   
It continues, rolling past, suggesting you will be able to sleep on the way.   
"I hope so too." The pilot takes your bag from you and heads to the hangar. 

By now, the horizon is a bit brighter, small flecks of the sun peeping. "Where are we going?" You ask, noticing the pep in his step. His hair bounces slightly and he moves as though the recent injuries are further in the past.   
"I promised to take you out, yes?" He says reaching the X-Wing. The hangar is virtually empty, except for a few maintenance droids.   
"Yeah." You say, covering your mouth as a yawn overcomes you.   
"So I'm taking you out. For a few days. At least."   
"At least?" You repeat, as he helps his droid in the co-pilot area who beeps enthusiastically.   
"It is going to be fun. BB-8 gets it." You roll your eyes, as he packs your stuff away.   
"BB-8 knows where we're headed." It's the first time that the droid would be joining you two, you realize and your heart flutters. 

You catch yourself thinking the droid didn't really care for you, being nice to be polite, especially since you spend your time with Poe alone. The unique BB-unit does trust you. Their trust grew to the highest potential when you were always by Poe's side until they cleared him. You wonder if its master told it to be objective with you in case you had other motives. You did not.

"Will it be fun?" He smiles, revealing the laugh lines on his cheeks.   
"I wouldn't do it if it weren't." He states matter-of-factly, patting his droid's head.   
"I asked others also if it sounded like fun." He adds, climbing down.   
"Apparently, some of the things I find fun aren't to some of my pilots." 

You know that to be true with his atmospheric runs and the complaints. He stands in front of you, his warm hands go to your waist, pulling you in an amorous embrace. Your arms go up around his neck, hands crossed at the wrist. Your eyes instinctively close as he lowers his head. His warm breath dances against your face as he kisses your cheek before meeting your lips. 

His hands glide down to your hips, resting on your backside, grasping it lightly. You stand on your tip toes, pressing your lips against his sleepily. His hands move lower, picking you up slowly. Your mouth parts as his tongue enters inside. He presses you against the X-Wing slightly, your legs wrapping around his hips, and then pulls away.   
"You're so gorgeous." He kisses you again before breaking it. "Not here."   
You pout, as his mouth goes lower to your neck. "Where?" You ask, touching his cheek.   
"Later." He growls, moving up. Poe grins, feeling your impatience grow as he brings your legs down. 

"Now. Let's go before it's too late." He puts you down, before climbing in the X-Wing. You sigh, climbing in after him. You'd at least try to take a quick nap before landing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading.


	29. Yavin IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and the reader reach Yavin 4.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and they meet his dad and more to come. also im in the middle of changing bb8's pronouns so beware. there are so many he's in this chapter lol

He doesn't talk to you while he's flying, though his conversation with BB-8 seems to go on forever. You don't remember falling asleep, tripping on the rhythm of his words in your ear. Your quick dream consists of colors, glimpses of faces, but consists of zero action. It's relaxing, but it disappears quickly as you wake to the turbulence, feeling as though you're coming up from water.

Poe curses, trying to ease the landing. It doesn't take him long, navigating the sky without anymore needless shakes. You glance out seeing the vast green and mountains. You're in awe of the beauty, sitting up, to take in more. He glides over the city before landing in an old hangar. You sit back, as the pilot sighs.   
"We made it." His eyes are forward under his helmet. The visor obscures his eyes. There's more to what he's saying you realize when BB-8 beeps.   
"Yeah. It has been a while buddy." 

He opens the cockpit window. You climb out, stretching and wiping your eyes. He exits slowly, something clearly bothering him. His back is towards you though as he helps the droid. "(A/N), can you give me a hand?"   
You nod, going over to him as he gently hands you the droid. You almost fall back, not expecting him to be so heavy, but put him down carefully. Your arms feel weaker than ever, but you don't complain audibly. 

The commander grabs your bags and starts walking. "Here we are." He says to himself, walking to the house nearby. You follow behind, BB-8 by your side. He beeps cheerily at you. "I did sleep alright. Thank you for asking." You flash a smile, still clueless to your location. You wish you planned accordingly with your clothes, already feeling the humidity clinging to your skin. You look off to the distance and see a ruin. You didn't recognize it from your scholar days and return your attention to your tense lover.

He knocks on the door, smiling at you. "This will be fun." Nervous, his eyes read. You touch his hand gently.   
"It will be." You say, trying to ease whatever anxiety he is feeling. 

He holds your hand, gently squeezing. The door opens, revealing an older man with a blaster in his hands. Your heart races, eyes glue to the nozzle. You almost panic, your hand squeezing his tighter. You don't want to die. Poe doesn't move, staring at the end. But the weapon lowers, as the older man recognizes the pilot. 

"Poe?" The younger finally moves, letting go of your hand and dropping your bags on the ground. "Dad." You watch, unsure if you should be there as it clicks that you're on Yavin 4. 

The two embrace. Poe is a little taller than his father. His father's face is hardened, his hair salt and pepper colored with the white slowly taking over. You can see Poe in his features as he pulls away, a smile lighting his face. "I thought you were dead." The man says, stepping back to admire his son. "You still live."   
Poe nods slightly. "My goal isn't reached yet." His father glances at you with a inquisitive gaze.   
"Of course." He steps to the side, "Come in." Poe picks up the bags before letting you walk in first. 

The house is not what you expected. There's a wet wood smell that hits your nose, mixed with something you can't place. Poe knows his way around the dark house with amber lights as though he's been here recently. The furniture looks handmade with care and precision, with a mess here and there, but you figure Elder Dameron lives alone.

The man leads you two to the back deck with four handcrafted chairs and a small wooden table with bright patterns draped over. There's a tree that grows smaller than the others. You sit in one chair, near Poe as BB-8 rolls around the house, checking out the place. "I haven't seen you since..." He pauses to recount.   
"Since I defected." Poe replies, sitting forward.   
"Since you joined the Resistance." His father's eyes darkened. "I saw when the Hosnian system was destroyed. I... I didn't know if you were there or not." His voice falters. 

"We destroyed the weapon that caused it." Poe assures, patting his father's leg.   
"We all thought it to be the end." His father continues, shaking his head. "We've been armed ever since."   
"I noticed." The younger acknowledges, relaxing. "So I take it my arrival has prompted some sort of panic."   
"It might have. But, you came to your mother's hangar. That was a smart decision." 

"Who did they support?" Poe asks, nervous. "The Resistance now. Everyone knows someone who was killed in the attack." Your eyes lower as Poe sighs.

The silence lingers as the older man gets up, going to the bigger tree. The pilot keeps his eyes forward, hearing the roll of BB-8. He's beeping too. The house is empty save for you all. Poe's father turns seeing the small droid.   
"When you get that?"   
"After I joined the Resistance. And he's not a that. He's a BB unit. One of a kind. Name's BB-8." He cracks his first smile at the round robot. BB-8 looks back. You suppose that if he could smile, he would. Instead, he lets out a happy squealing noise. 

"And your friend?" The man pats the trunk before returning to you both. "This is (A/N). My significant other." 

You can't help but smile. It's the first time in a while he's introduced as such. Everyone on D'Qar knows by now. Your face heats as you turn your smile to him. His eyes are still on the droid, but with a small genuine smile.   
"Significant other you say." He sits back in his chair eyeing you. "Let me guess. You're a soldier."   
You shake your head. "I was a volunteer, but recently became a nurse."   
"Recently?" Your eyes return to Poe. You doubt he wants to share about his injuries.   
"They thought I was ready." You say simply.

"Well, they probably are right then." The man shrugs, his eyes never leaving you. Under his gaze you're nervous. Poe wouldn't have to go through the meeting parents phase like you and you're envious.   
"Do you have family connected to the Resistance?"   
You shake your head no. "My father was a Senator."   
He grimaces. "Of course. I should have known by your accent." He puts his hand out. "I'm Kes. Kes Dameron."   
You take it, shaking firmly. "Good grip." He comments when you return your hand. 

"So why are you here?" He asks you both now. 

You wait for Poe since you didn't know either. "Why not?" He replies, his eyebrow wagging.   
"Because of them?" Kes nods towards you. "They're part of it. Wanted them to see where I've come from too." 

"Is there something more?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading~


	30. Bey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Kes sorta catch up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just hope i don't mess up the vagueness of the lore

He pauses. Your mind reels as you try to guess the other reasons, but draw blanks. Poe didn't even tell you that this was end location. His hand runs through his thick locks as he begins to talk. "I critically injured myself a few weeks back." You want to interject. It was almost two months ago. His father's face pales, "What happened?" 

Poe glances at you before continuing. "We went to retrieve an artifact, got ambushed, left one of my pilots behind. Once the majority of us were out, I went back with a few others to save them. Everyone lived." Color slowly returns to Kes' face as he ruminates on Poe's vague recount.   
"You're like your mother." He says finally. 

Poe straightens, a nerve struck. "She would have done the same thing." He continues, rubbing his knee. "You know I left the Rebels first? She still wanted to fight for Alliance." 

He cocks his head to the side, quickly rolling his eyes. He licks his lips briefly, deciding to say what that comment prompted. "Why did you tell me about her? Her achievements? What she meant to the Rebellion?" 

The elder Dameron now sits uncomfortable, obviously trying to be careful with what he told his son on their silence about their affiliations with the Alliance. His eyes are pained as he explains. "Once we got out of it, we wanted to live normally with you. You were only a baby, a toddler. We wanted to start a new life. It was her idea to not tell you anything. I guess she figured you wouldn't have to join something like the Rebel Alliance. And yet..." He grimaces. "If you don't teach the past, the future will likely to repeat." 

You and BB-8 stay silent. The droid stops fidgeting around and you stare at your nails. You're left speechless again as the father and son stare back at each other. You wonder what did he want from this originally, figuring him coming here wasn't for 'vacation.'   
"How did you learn about her?" Kes asks after a moment. 

"I saw her file, testimonies of those she saved." Poe sighs. The older man wipes his eyes shaking his head.   
"She was a very good woman. The best, even." 

You're glad your head is already down when you hear the sniff from the younger's direction and the sad beep from his droid. Your empathetic heart fills for them. You tear your eyes from your lap, resting your hand on Poe's knee. 

His father shakes his head. "Is that the reason why you truly came, son?" His voice shakes slightly.   
"I wanted to know more about her." Poe replies, patting your hand before gently wiping his own eyes.   
"She loved you more than anything, you know that." 

There's a knock at the front door, interrupting the tense atmosphere. "I'll be back. You know where your bags can go." Kes stands slowly, exhaling deeply as the knocking continues. 

Alone, you turn to the pilot. "How are you feeling?" He sniffs before looking at you. "I'll be better." He stands, stretching. "Come on. I'll show you our 'suite.'"   
There's a small elderly looking woman in the living room now, talking to Kes about her roof. Her accent is one you can't place. She hardly bats an eye at Poe and you as he leads you down a hallway, BB-8 in tow. 

The room is clean for the most part, the wall has posters and pictures of the Alliance and certificates. BB-8 comments on one poster. "It's really old. I got it when I was ten from some merchant." Poe explains, putting your luggage in the chair. On the desk lies a miniature X-Wing you didn't recognize as Poe's. BB-8 knows it however. "Yeah, before Jakku." He says, gently picking it up. "It wasn't the best one, but it still is dear to my heart." The droid responds, remembering that night, but then asks an important question.

"There's a charge station out front I think. Ask my dad. If there isn't, he'll know of a close one." He beeps okay and rolls out, calling for the elder Dameron.

He sits on the bed, motioning you to come closer. You stand in front of him, resting your hands on his shoulders. "Thank you for coming with me."   
You laugh, "You didn't really give me a choice." He touches your hips, bringing your torso to his face.   
"There's always a choice, (A/N)." He says into your stomach. 

You readjust, hands messing with his hair as his warm breath heats your shirt. You twirl your finger around one curl, hoping he wouldn't cry again. It broke your heart. 

"What was she like?" You ask, remembering he was there when you felt similarly. He lifts his head, chin resting against your abdomen. 

"She was always smiling. And positive, unless I asked about the Civil War. Then she'd get sad, tell me to ask her when I was older. So I limited my questions to my birthdays always before bed... I saw her fly a few times too. I was in awe every single time." He turns his head, resting his head against you, looking towards the wall. "They say I'm the best pilot in the Resistance... She had to the best pilot of the Rebellion." 

He gently nuzzles your tummy, sighing. You continue to play with the pilot's hair, feeling his breathing slow, finally normal. Tiny kisses now pepper your abdomen, tickling you slightly. You breath heavily through your nostrils as he continues them, higher here, lower there. 

"What are you doing, sweet pea?" You ask, shifting your weight. He removes his face, looking up at you.   
"Trying to sort everything out."   
"Everything?" He nods, returning his face.   
"How is this helping?" You inquire as he lifts your shirt.   
"I'm making distinct patterns." You could feel them as he continues them. You squirm slightly, his stubble tickling you more.   
"Could I have the key?" You ask as he goes to your left.   
"Left is disappointed. Right is fulfilled. Up is lively and down is fatigued." You nod as he kisses up. 

You count how many upward and (his) rightward kisses he gives you, losing your place easily, starting over at zero as he hops around.   
"Am I interrupting?" The older man's voice causes you to jump, pulling down your shirt. Heat rushes over your body as your boyfriend touches his lips.   
"Not anymore." He retorts, glancing over his father.   
"Ah. Well. Your droid is charging and I'm going to help fix a roof. I'll be back later." He steps back, "Don't do anything drastic without me." He smirks as he leaves. 

You sit beside Poe, your fingers quickly interlacing with his own. "You're mostly feeling fulfilled and lively."   
He chuckles, "I might have lied a bit on the lively part." He rests his head on your shoulder. "I wish you could have met her." He says a few moments later. You squeeze his hand gently, knowing how it feels.   
"She would have liked you I think."   
You smile brushing your thumb against the top of his hand. "I believe you. I think your dad likes me too." He nods, before sitting up and turning to you. His hand rests on your cheek bringing you forward.

Your smile widens somewhat as he kisses your eager lips. He pulls away, resting his head against your own. His eyes close, his eyelashes looking as though they touch his cheeks while a charming smile rests on his lips. Your heart races, wondering what he'd say next. You remember the business he left unfinished on D'Qar. "I want to go see the rest of Yavin, but I don't want to leave BB-8 by himself." You chuckle at yourself, not expecting that. 

"We can go when he wakes then." He sits up, kissing your forehead. "Sounds like a plan." He yawns, unzipping his flight suit. You watch timidly, darting your eyes in intervals towards the walls and the ground. He stands, going to his bag, the orange suit resting at his waist. You undo your boots, figuring BB-8 would be an hour or two. He pulls out a pair of dark pants, finishing undressing himself.   
"Should I put these on now or later?"   
"Later?" You ask coyly.   
You put your boots towards the end of the bed. The bed's bigger than the ones back at base. You could sleep in it without being basically on top of him.

"Later." He repeats, stepping in front of you as you sit on the bed. You laugh a bit higher than you expect as he kisses your cheek. You touch his shoulder, debating if you really want to or not. You finally were alone, no one to really worry about walking in like Finn or your roommate. "It's too soon." You whimper, climbing to the pillows.   
"Too soon?" He asks, tossing the pants over to the bags, joining you.   
His arms wrap around your waist firmly. You smile, burying your head against his chest before turning around.   
"I want to know more about Yavin IV." 

Your bottom rubs his groin purposely as you get comfortable. He groans in response, "I'll tell you everything you want to know." A giggle escapes your lips as you think of how easy he is.   
"Like a tour."   
He begins to whine but it turns into a yawn. "After BB-8 wakes up." You nod, closing your eyes. "Let's nap then." 

He sits up briefly, grabbing the covers from underneath you. "That sounds like a wonderful idea." He states, as you move under them, back in your position against him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading again~! 500 kudos wow guys :")


	31. Drab

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bath and clothes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not a whole lot of poe/reader in this one :P

You wake up as Poe climbs over you. There's knocking at the door, consistent and just loud enough. He's cursing under his breath, wondering the cause. You rub your eyes, turning to the side. He opens the door, seeing it to be BB-8. His former frustration melts away as he moves to let the droid in. "Was the door locked?" BB-8 replies with a series of beeps. "I'll keep the door open from now on then." He yawns, stretching. "Did you find a good charging station?" 

He rolls over to you, scanning to see if you were awake, answering his master. "That's good. It'd be terrible for it to be one of the older ones." Poe sits on the ground, motioning for the droid to come closer. BB-8 doesn't hesitate, rolling over quickly.

You sit up, looking over at the duo as Poe's arms wrap around the ball and sighs. Within a few seconds, he's dozing again, only for BB-8 to beep at him, quiet but enough to make the sleepy pilot get up and return to the bed. 

"Is my father back?" A negative beep is the answer. You scoot over so he won't have to climb over you again. His arm wraps around your waist, nuzzling your neck.   
"You wanna explore now or later?" Sleep still clings to you, though you're actively fighting it with blinking and your fingertips dance across his forearms. "Later."   
He nods, exhaling. You wait for his snoring to start, but it never does. Instead, Poe rolls out of bed, his stomach growling.

"I'm going to go find something to eat." He grabs his sweats and slips them on quickly. You turn over, resting on your elbows. He saunters out of the room, motioning to BB-8. "C'mon." The droid follows beeping excitedly. You listen as his footsteps disappear down the hall. 

Energy that you sought early now comes as you sit on the edge of the bed. Scratching your head, you wonder what to do. You catch a whiff of yourself and grimace. A bath first. You go to your bag, looking for the right necessities while your mind sorts out itself, shaking dreams and drowsy thoughts. With the bundle under your arm, you head to the door blind to where the washroom would be. 

You go down the hall, looking in different rooms. The one next door is a workroom, though it looks undisturbed for a while. You head the other way, not wanting to be caught for snooping. You sneak past BB-8 and Poe in the kitchen area. It is small and cramped, but Poe has him on a stool with stops on the edges so the droid wouldn't fall off as he tells the cook whatever recipe. 

The other side of the house is more open, more windows. The first door on the right leads to a bathroom. It's more up to date than you expected as you close the door quietly. 

Your mind wanders as you prepare the warm water. Whatever they're making, the smell wafts inside the smallish room. You step inside the water and sigh. The heat engulfs you as you sit back. At the base, they have all-in-ones for quickness. Your bath at home was nice enough. Your father preferred the bath house and thus the house would mirror that. You mother was the one who suggested separate baths for the children, though you and her were the only ones who used them. Your brother had no modesty, fraternizing with the other Senators who liked that sort of entertainment and sometimes misdiagnosing them for his pleasure untill your father told him to stop.

You sink low, remembering how frustrating it was to get dressed for the days. Your robes were too complicated and represented your father's home planet though by then, he rarely visited hearing their news by holographs and messages though the ether. Your mother would do your hair and tell you stories about the Civil War and how she met General Organa and Han Solo. She was mostly excited about Solo and would giggle and blush to herself. Back then you didn't really understand. But that was forever ago. You had a simpler outfit in university to show your scholar status. 

You glance over at your clothes. A cream top with darker brown accents and the pants the same color. Drab your mother would cry, but you remember you chose them half asleep. And fashion never is your priority. You shake your head, trying to think of something else. You had quiet dreams that by now faded. You rest back, your chin barely above the water. The smell of food now mixed with whatever you poured in the water to create the smell of flowers and herbs, lavender winning over your senses.

A knock at the door makes you open your eyes. "Yeah?" Muffled beeping is your answer. You speculate if BB-8 has a protocol for nudity as you debate whether you want to leave your warm bath yet. You sit up glancing at your hands, the finger tips beginning to prune, answer obvious. You pull the plug and step on to the carpet, wrapping your towel around your body. 

The droid's head is the other way when you open the door. "What's wrong?" You ask, a bit amused at his propriety. He beeps again still facing the hall. "I am a bit hungry." He rolls away, quicker than you've seen him today and you close the door, getting dressed.

You don't waste time in front of the mirror, though it's been a while since you've seen yourself in a full length one. However you do give yourself a look over with your undergarments on. You look the same as you could remember and you pull your shirt over you head.

* * *

You hear Kes as you head back to your room. He's telling Poe about the roof patch up, mixing in another language. You continue walking as the elder Dameron continues his tale about the patching. You pick up that the woman is coming over later with thank you treats.

You put your clothes in your bag, separate from your clean clothes. Sitting on the bed briefly, you hear distant laughter. You smile, happy to hear their happiness rather than their sadness. You can see the laugh lines on both men's faces as they catch up in the kitchen, talking about what the other missed in their lives. 

BB-8 rolls into the room, beeping at you when he sees you sitting on the bed. "I'm fine. Is the food ready?" He beeps affirmatively and leads you back to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :')


	32. Macaroons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Reader have dinner with Kes and friends.

They're talking about you now as you enter the room. Poe's voice fills with excitement as he talks about how you took care of him when he was hurt. Nervousness now takes over, could you live up to his words to his dad? He waves you over and smiles. You hurry over, feeling on the spot. "You're quite the attentive nurse, Poe tells me." You chuckle, "I had to be. I have to be."

He hands you a plate, "There you go."  
His father straightens, "Jan-He is coming over soon. She's coming with her friend. They're skittish around new people, though they might be interested in any stories you share, Poe." You both nod and you turn to the food.  
The smell is almost intoxicating. You can't remember the last time you smelled food so enticing your mouth watered. Kes has added a few more pots to Poe's one. You see not everything's done yet and put your plate on the counter. 

"I thought you two would be out and about by now."  
"We took a nap." Poe replies, his arm goes around your waist.  
"A long nap." The former sergeant retorts, looking at the cooking food.  
BB-8 beeps at the elder Dameron, confirming the length of the trip and the fatigue you all faced. "Is there still another reason why you came?" 

The pilot waves the question away, "Because I hadn't seen you in a while." You hear a knock at the door.  
"That's probably her." Kes says, leaving you two alone for a second.

You turn to him, kissing him gently. He rests his head against yours, grinning. "Did the bath refresh you?" You nod, as he leans in for another quick kiss. Your arms go around his neck.  
"Do you want to do anything later?" He asks, knowing there'd be no way for you both to get out of this impromptu dinner.  
"Of course." You answer, stepping back.  
The round droid beeps, suggesting not tonight. The clouds did look heavy with rain.  
"We'll do something indoors then." You suggest, smiling. "Another pillow fort?"  
Excitable noises come from BB-8 as Dameron and his guests return. "Jan-He, this is my son, Commander Poe Dameron of the Resistance." 

You had only glanced at the woman earlier. Her weathered face holds a bright smile, unobstructed by her hair which is pulled into a long ponytail. She's a bit shorter than you, not frail looking anymore. "Pleased as ever." She shakes his free hand, the other still on your waist.  
"You forgot one of the best pilots." He winks, "Very nice to meet you."  
Kes rolls his eyes, continuing on, "And this is his significant other, (A/N) and his droid BB-8." 

This time, her friend speaks. They're the same height, very slender with pointy features. They seem no-nonsense, but their black eyes are on the droid. "So you were the one who possessed the sought after droid, Mr. Dameron?" The tone's almost accusing as the pilot retracts his hand from Jan-He who is now shaking yours. 

"Suppose that is true." BB-8 rolls between you and Poe, hiding between your legs. He didn't like when people brought that up.  
"Very nice job with the Star Destroyer." They reply, turning to the head of the house.  
"That's Darsise. They're my dear friend of... How many years? Oh, doesn't matter now, used to sympathize with the Empire until they murdered Darsi's family, save for their son."  
"They're with the Resistance now." Darsise added, now moving to the table to sit.  
"Maybe you know him?" They give a name, but neither of you know him.  
"He might be at a settlement." Poe says, hoping not to upset the friend. "Maybe that might be so." 

Kes claps his hands together. "Well, I think everything is almost ready, if you all want to start eating now, we can."  
Jan-He smile never wavers. "Ah, Dameron. You make the best of everything." Her long hair reaches the middle of her back, you realize as she turns around to grab a plate.

* * *

Jan-He sits across from you with her wizened features relaxing for a bit, a content smile on her lips. Her non-human friend continues to eye BB-8. The droid rests near Poe, listening to the conversation, recording in case information will be needed later. Under the table, your fingers tangle with Poe's. The conversation still dulls as the questions from Darsise revolve around the plans of the Resistance and Poe's vague answers not enough. 

Kes puts vibrant vegetables on the table when the friend's temper ready to break, and the cautious Jan-He touches their arm. "Did you grow these?" The old woman asks, examining the food.  
"I did." Poe's father replies proudly. 

You barely say anything. It's been a while since you've had normal food, not whatever they give you all in the canteen. The conversation lightens now that Kes can moderate. Politics could wait. Jan-He is also more at ease, talking at length about her pets that her and Darsise take care of. 

"It's so lovely, they are. They keep me from being sad and lonely when Darsi here goes out. I used to go out and gather different types of creatures, but lately, they just come. As long as they don't eat me, I'm fine. I'm planning on dying peacefully of old age." She continues, a smile on her lips. "That will of course be in forty or fifty years." 

Darsise frowns. "That's not polite talk, ma'am."  
"Ah, Darsi. You know it will happen. And you will be at peace dear." She pauses to eat some of her food, her face lighting up. "Oh! Dameron. You've out done yourself today." Kes smiles at the praise while Poe looks up alarmed that she said his name. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome." She turns to you. "You're also with the Resistance?" You nod, mouth full of foreign spices and food. You'd ask to take a bit with you when you three head back to D'Qar. "Are you a pilot too?"  
You can't help but smile once you swallow. "No, ma'am." His arm goes around your chair leisurely.  
"They're the Resistance's best volunteer nurse." Poe declares. You know his eyes are boring into you with love. Your smile turns bashful.  
"I-I-I'm not the best," You begin to stammer, glancing at him. "You are in my mind, Nurse (A/N)." He says, lowering his voice. 

You wish you weren't in front of company, especially not his own father. "If you say so, Black Leader." You don't even realize how close your faces get until BB-8 beeps. The Black Leader sits back, giving his attention to his droid. You hide your blush by stuffing your face again, avoiding talk with your mouth full.

* * *

Once the main dish is out-of-the-way, Jan-He places a dull silver platter on the table. "You might be too full now, but thank you so much Mr. Dameron. With that storm, my room was just a mess. And for helping with my animals when Darsi is gone." The plate is full of multicolored macaroons. "My mama would make these all the time when I was a child, how many years back?" She leans back into the chair, reminiscing.  
Darsise hardens, "The years do not matter now. All that matters is you being here."  
"Oh, come off it." She says, patting her friend's shoulder. 

You take one, light pink with a lilac center, and hold it carefully. "Anyway, are you two going New Year Celebration? Darsise tells me it will be the biggest extravaganza yet. So many fireworks." Her friend smiles wide, revealing sharper teeth.  
"We've been exploring different mixes and the tests have been most successful." Their slender claw like fingers grab a dark blue macaroon. "Many blues, greens, reds, any color really. Though some, I'm afraid, will appear white to you all. Humans only have so many colors they can see." The older woman excuses herself.

BB-8 starts asking questions. He's never heard the process of making fireworks and Darsise is more than happy to oblige. Poe takes an orange treat, no surprise and takes a bite. You're still holding your own, a faint smile still on your lips. "I haven't had one of these in a very long time." You say, mostly to him. Your mother made them for your sixteenth birthday, but found out that your father was allergic to the ingredients. She never made them again.

"They're delicious, in case you're worried." You smile and rest your head against his shoulder. "I know it will be." After a moment, you take a small bite. Kes stands, taking his plate to the kitchen, sighing. You look up at the younger and grin admiringly. He's smiling at BB-8 as he takes in all the information about fireworks, asking questions if he doesn't understand. 

His arm wraps around your shoulders so your head now rests on his chest. You rest your wrist against his chest before holding the treat in your other hand. With your ear pressed against him, you hear the steady beating of his heart. A contented smile comes to your lips. You continue to eat the drop cookie, closing your eyes. 

Jan-He returns, patting the mechanical's head. "These two will probably talk for hours." The woman smiles, her brows raising slightly at the display of affection. "How long have you two been together?" She asks, leaning forward in her seat, grabbing a macaroon. 

You open your eyes slightly, glancing over at the woman. You didn't keep count like your friends would. Ciro probably knows. You then glance at Poe, wondering if he knows. Kes returns to the table, looking tired.

"Maybe... five or six months." Your eyes widen, that had to be wrong.  
"That's too long." You say, looking up at him. You didn't want to move because of his warmth around you. "Maybe three or four."  
He looks genuinely surprised. "That short? Really?" He pecks your forehead. "Feels like forever."  
"When you're in love, time goes by without you noticing it." The older woman replies and Darsise rolls their eyes, the fireworks conversation dwindling. 

You sit up, his hand travels to your waist. You wouldn't say that, exactly. You cared for him so much, but...  
The commander laughs, "Of course."  
"Well, we've taken much of your time. The dinner, oh Sergeant, you out did yourself." She turns to you, "(A/N), before you go, I have a few clothes from my younger days, if you're interested!" You nod, "Yeah, I can come over tomorrow?" She smiles wide, "That works for me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading~


	33. Imminent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey's coming back and the reader inherits some clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long chapter ahead.

When they leave, you go to the kitchen with your plate. You place it to the side with the other plates and then start to fill the sink with warm bubbling water. Goosebumps travel your skin, feeling prey to whatever hunter is behind you. It's Kes, a disapproving look on his worn face. "You don't have to do this." He says, watching as the water reached a sizable amount.  
"It's no problem. You two both cooked. I should at least help." You bow your head.

He continues to shake his head. "You're a guest still." He turns the water off. "I'll do it."  
You glance at Poe for support. You were assigned to wash dishes before on the Resistance base, fingers always pruned and dry after a day's work. But the younger Dameron waves you over, leaving his father to the dishes. You sit back in your chair, hearing the rolling of BB-8 on the wood floor, a long pattern of beeps following. It will rain soon.

"Do you have a charge station indoors?" Poe asks, worry lining his face. Kes turns a little, a dirty plate in his hand. "No... I didn't think I'd need one." The pilot frowns, leaving for a minute with his droid close behind. You stay put, not sure what to do. Kes whistles to himself while he washes. 

You zone out, eyes on one macaroon in particular. It was blue with a vivid almost electric blue center. You wonder how Jan-He managed to get that bright of a color. The rest possess duller fillings. You note to ask later if you could take a few back to the base for your friends. You begin to speculate what they're doing now. Ciro probably is coming up with stories about where you and 'The Pilot' went. Sabik and Finn sparring once more. Maybe Finn wins a bout and Sabik can't believe it, filled with delight that he did. You'd see if Poe would let you call them. 

The door slams louder than intended and a quiet rhythm drums against the roof. Poe returns, holding a stick. "It's going to go all night most likely." The top of his shirt is wet, raindrops clinging a little to his hair.  
"Why are you wet?" You ask, not noticing the rain yet. "You'll get sick."  
In response, he chuckles, "This is not enough for me to get sick." Outside, lightning strikes, shaking the house slightly. BB-8 rolls quickly to his master, frightened noises escaping the tiny droid. The pilot continues to his room. "Let's go get this set up." 

You follow, figuring whatever they were doing is better than sitting in silence with his father. 

He places the stick down in the corner while his droid beeps suggestions on other places to put it. You sit on the bed, as he puts it in the requested spot against the wall near the bags. He presses an unseen button and a holographic screen appears. Portable charger. The commander presses a few more and then the station responds with a message on the screen. 'Ready to Charge.' The round droid beeps gratefully and then starts a different conversation, about Darsise and fireworks.

"I don't think the General would appreciate it if the droids started making fireworks..." Poe laughs, taking the wet shirt off. You avert your eyes. It's nothing you haven't seen before but you still feel the need to give him privacy. He doesn't notice as he rummages through his bag for a dry shirt. BB-8 has no problem looking surprisingly. "What did you think of dinner, (A/N)?" Poe asks, turning to you, the shirt in his hands.

You meet his eyes before looking away. "It was really nice." You move up to sit on your legs. "Do you think we can take leftover with us?" He smiles, pulling the shirt on.  
"Probably. What's wrong with Resistance food?"  
"It's pretty bland compared to this." 

The smile stays as he lies on the bed, you move out of his way. "I suppose it is... I meant about the company, originally."  
"Oh." You reply with a small shrug. "They were nice enough. Jan-He looks like she has a lot of stories to tell."  
His fingers idly make patterns on his stomach. "Yeah. I'm happy they were First Order sympathizers. Could you imagine?" He shook his head, the lazy smile from earlier now disappearing.  
"The other one, Darsise, kept asking really odd questions."  
He nods, "Had me worried." BB-8 chimes in, reminding Poe that he did record the conversation in case he wanted to investigate. 

"I don't think we need to worry. They have family in the Resistance. Hopefully they're alive whoever they are." Poe's eyes start to close and you sit on his hips. His eyes shoot open. "Oh?"  
You shake your head, giggling. "Are we already retiring for the night?" A rumble of thunder is your answer.  
"Storms on Yavin aren't as friendly as the ones of D'Qar." He murmurs back, sitting up slightly. 

You sigh, rolling off him. "Tomorrow I'll show you both where I hail. Is that okay with you two?" BB-8 beeps affirmatively, rolling out of the room for a moment. You nod slightly, turning away from him. You didn't want to sleep though. "Where's he going?" You ask.  
"Probably to talk to Kes. Wants to know why he doesn't have a droid to help him out." 

You lie on your side, inspecting this new shirt. Plain black, a little tight around his biceps, but loose-fitting everywhere else. He turns to you, resting on his arm. "Are you going to visit Jan-He tomorrow?"  
You nod. "She invited me, so I must."  
His hand rests on your side. "Do you wish for me to go with you?" You chuckle. "I don't think she'll hurt me, love."  
He kisses your forehead. "I know that, but I didn't think you'd want to go alone." 

He pulls you closer. "Maybe." You reply, staring at his features. He still looks tired. You touch his cheek, brushing away a stray eyelash. "Are you sleepy?" You ask, putting your leg over his waist. His hand travels down, resting on your bottom. "A little bit."

You slowly begin to grind against him as the storm picks up outside. He shakes his head, holding you still. "He's still up." You didn't know who that refers to, but stop with a small whine. He responds with a quick kiss and rolling over. "I wonder what Finn is doing." 

Pushing your leg off him gently, Poe leaves the bed, getting a communicator out. He returns, getting a line to D'Qar. You sit up next to him, suddenly anxious. "Can we also see if Sabik is there?" You leave Ciro out since he didn't know her very well. "They most likely are together." He replies, as the recipient answers, voice nervous. 

"I don't know if I should be answering this." It's Finn.  
"You should be! It's me buddy!"  
An exhale comes on the other line. "Ah, Poe. I was worried..." There's another voice in the background, though muffled. You frown, it wasn't Sabik's. Finn's voice is now distant. "Yeah, it's him. He sounds safe." He returns, "Where are you?"  
"A secret." An annoyed noise is the response from the other line interrupted by movement, a shift in hands.  
"Commander Dameron! My friend is missing! Are they with you?" Sabik.  
"They're right next to me." He smiles wider, handing you the small device. "Um, hi?" Your face flushes as he takes it back. 

"You both are safe?" Their tone is strained, stressing for quite a while.  
"Very." Poe answers, his arm slipping around your waist. "That is refreshing..." The mic changes hands, back to Finn.  
"Rey is coming soon." He says quickly. He's excited, but still sounds nervous. You frown. That meant he would be leaving again. You hide it however. You two came here for alone peace time. 

"That's great! Do you know when?" A moment passes.  
"Not really. General Organa is making rapid fire orders though. Probably not the best time for you two to sneak off."  
The commander shakes his head, "She knew I was planning this. We'll be back before anything happens, promise you that." His face is determined and BB-8 returns.

"We'll leave you to it then." Finn begins to end the conversation, but Sabik butts in again.  
"When will you two be returning? I've been having strange dreams."  
"In a few days." That answer isn't good enough for your friend, but they hand the communicator back to Finn.  
"Stay safe, Dameron and (A/N)." You smile as you respond, "You too."

He places it back, stretching slightly and his droid asks what happened. You crawl back to the pillows and hide your worry by facing the wall.  
"Just talked to Finn. General Organa is preparing the base for the Jedi's return... We might have to cut this short by one or two days."  
A disappointing beep comes from the droid as the storm gently rocks the house.  
"Don't fret. Once the First Order is finally dealt with, we will be able to do these things more often." He returns to the bed, cuddling up to you. "Something's wrong." He whispers.

You turn to your back, letting him rest on your chest. "Nothing's wrong." You plaster a small fake smile on your face, hoping he'd buy it. Internally, your heart hurts. You don't want him to go, to leave you again even though you knew it was bound to happen. You worry that he wouldn't be so lucky this time, trying too hard and his heart lying with his comrades.  
"I'm not strong with the Force." He starts, getting on top of you carefully. "I can't read your mind." You cover your face, hoping he'd move on, but instead he holds himself up above you, waiting.

You exhale, removing your hands. "I don't want you to go." You whisper, looking up at him. He attentively comes down, resting his body against yours.  
"I'm not going anywhere right now." His tone is tinder, his hands taking yours. "I'm right here."  
Your frown still doesn't go away. "I know that." He kisses your right hand admiringly, not saying a word before repeating the gesture on the other. "I want you to come back safe... Not injured." You request, urgency peeking.  
"I'll do my best, I promise you that." He moves up, meeting your lips with soft pecks. 

Your hands leave his as your arms wrap around his neck. The words rest on the tip of your tongue as you swallow them down, feeling his hands travel down, the quiet beeps of BB-8 disappearing down the hall giving you two much-needed privacy.

* * *

You wake up alone. Today he was quiet getting up. You frown, wondering where he went. You grab a shirt and pants and quickly put it on before leaving the room. There was not a peep, even BB-8 gone. You stare out the windows as you make your way to the living room and kitchen. Your stomach growls as you see a note on the counter. It's in Poe's handwriting. 

'Out with father. We'll be back later. - PD' There's a heart and then a quick sketch of you. You're smiling wide, eyes closed with your hair up and out of your face. Huh, you think, not wanting to be alone just yet. You place the note down before returning back to the room, trying to figure out what to do now. Eat... And then, maybe Jan-He's? That's all you had on your day of plans. And then he was supposed to take you out. You wonder if that's still on his plans.

You find something quick to eat, equally impressed with the fruit as you were with the dinner. You idly look through your change of clothes. You couldn't go out in your shirt and Poe's pants as they sagged a bit around the hips. You hope that the older neighbor's clothes proved to be more fashionable than what you brought. If anything, you hope the colors would be something more than neutrals and orange. 

You look for Poe's communicator when you finish dressing, finding it nowhere. Disappointed, but still driven, you return to the living room. Kes doesn't own one it seems, but he does have a datapad. You feel nosy as you turn it on. All you want is Jan-He's address. You're not ready to venture out blindly unarmed. 

His folders are straight forward. You smile seeing that he did have a contacts list. You scroll, seeing that it's dated. General Organa is known as Princess Organa and Luke Skywalker is on it, though this location is definitely wrong. Jan-He is on it, thankfully. You write down the address before turning the pad off, resisting in searching further.

* * *

The air is humid and hot, causing sweat to bead at your forehead. You continue moving forward, as your clothes stick to your skin. Your note back to Poe read, 'To Jan-He's. Will be back soon.' with a detailed doodle of his profile and BB-8. You wipe your head, sighing. The storm made the heat worse somehow. In the distance you see a monument, sort of recognizing it but also not. The heat causes you to temporarily forget your education. You know of Yavin IV, a little bit, but not enough. 

Her house is nearby, covered in vines as if the fauna is taking it back. Outside, there's a fence with an odd creature sleeping near the door. You're terrified, remembering she does own many of these animals. This one even sleeping looks dangerous, one of its many eyes opening to see you. Your heart jumps practically out of your chest, sensing your life dwindling. All you wanted was to try on some damn dresses. The yellow and black eyes closes and the creature remains sleeping. You're shaking now, wishing that Poe's here with you. He could handle such a beast, at least that's what you tell yourself as you open the gate, trying to control your breathing. Jan-He is immediately at the door, talking in a language you don't know. You're glad as the being is quickly in front of you, treating you as a foe, but backs away. You fall back on your knees, tears stinging your eyes. Her voice is still chastising and she appears by your side. 

"Ah, (A/N). Sorry about him... He's Darsi's. Doesn't take too kindly to strangers, but harmless." She helps you up as the animal moves to the other side of the house, growling to himself. You wipe your eyes, trying to gain control of yourself. "Don't worry love. He's not going to hurt you." She leads you into the tiny house. 

Avian creatures squawk to each other as you enter. You hold on tight to her old hand. The house is cluttered, but strangely composed. A method behind where every blanket rests. 

The room she leads you in has jars everywhere, some filled with insects, others with fish and something else. You hide a shudder as she seats you on an ottoman with a lacy pattern. "Other than being frightened by Ka'Nai, how was your day?" You take a minute to catch your breath finally. "Okay." 

"Good!" She smiles, her hair not restrained by a band like yesterday. It's still long and gets in her way, but she doesn't mind as a cat jumps in your lap. You jump, but the ginger cat ignores your fright, napping. "That's Nadia. I'm happy she like you. Usually, she attacks."  
"Is that all of your animals' responses?" She laughs, louder than need be. "Usually no, but after storms like the one last night, it happens." 

She goes to her closet before taking out four or five items. "Try them on here." She places them on the bed behind you before grabbing the ornate dressing screen behind her. Her wrinkled hands take the sleeping kitten from you. "I think we were about the same size so they'll fit nicely." She sits on the ottoman now, cooing to the cat. 

You pause, taking a moment before pulling your sticky dirty shirt off. You felt bad, putting on these nice dresses when you're all sweaty and your backside dirty from the mud you fell in. But Jan-He doesn't seem to mind, talking to Nadia. The first dress you try on is a plain one. It's one solid color, floor length with a little to no details. The shoulders are interesting however, being cut at the top but reconnecting at the arm pit area. It reminds you of a Senator's dress, except without all the ornaments. The fabric heavier than you expect, but other than that, it's a nice dress to lounge in. You can't see yourself seriously wearing it around the base. It'd get snagged and dirty easy. 

You come out from behind the screen, revealing yourself. The old woman stands as the cat runs into the other room. She fixes the shoulders a little, and smiles. "Beautiful." She motions for you to do a twirl. You spin around, feeling like a child. But the woman nods. "Very good." She sits back down. "What do you think?"  
You shrug, "I don't think I'd wear it often on the base."  
She nods, "Of course. I'm sure you'll wear it whenever your pilot takes you somewhere nice."  
You blush at the mention of him. "Yeah." 

You return behind the screen and shed the new dress, putting it back on the hanger. The next dress is light with flowy fabrics. You imagine wearing it in more intimate situations. You pull it over your head, struggling to get the bosom area over, but the fight is short-lived. You adjust your body and then take in your new look. It's tighter than you expect, making certain areas appear voluptuous. The older woman's eyebrow raise slightly as she takes in the look. 

"Cute." She says before adjusting certain areas. Her eyes however, hover to a fresh mark on your collarbone. When her eyes don't budge, you check in the mirror, wondering what is wrong. You curse to yourself. Last night he was frisky, but you only remembered the lower ones. How'd you miss this one? Her lips are thin line now, but she still says nothing. "I think this one would work also if we went somewhere else."  
"Of course." 

You hurry behind the screen, the dress easier to take off and quickly put on the next one. This one screams 'New Republic' and takes you off guard as you stand in your underwear. The black dress is adorned with gold swirling patterns. You struggle again, but only because of the many buttons. Tiring quickly, you look over at Jan-He who's humming to herself. "Can you help me?" She smiles, getting up and coming behind. 

"Oh this one. Of course." Her smile softens as she begins to button the mess correctly. You stand with your back to her, feeling her fingers sometimes brush against your skin. "I met my husband in this dress." She says after a moment of buttoning.  
"I was so nervous. It wasn't arranged or anything, but it was a big moment for me, my family." Her hand travels up and you know she's almost done. "My mother was petitioning in front of the first Senators. My husband was the escort who showed us where to sit and wait. And this was way back... I met Senator Amidala, it was such a glorious day. And then he said to me before we left, he had to have my heart. And my father was upset, but I didn't care. No one had asked for my hand yet and he was rather handsome... And then I married him." She shrugs. 

You wonder how old this woman is as she steps back, admiring the velvet. "When we moved here, I wore it always to the celebration and he'd wear his Rebel uniform... He died such a long time ago though. I don't need to wear it." She smiles gently and sat down. 

"It's so beautiful." You comment, feeling the need to take off though. It meant too much to her for you to wear it only on occasion.  
"I'd give it to my daughters, but they took after their father's side of the family. Tall strong women. You should wear it during the celebration." You bow your head grateful, ready to decline, but it reminds you home.  
"Thank you."  
She waves her hand, "You look absolutely lovely in it." She compliments, sitting back. "You'll leave Poe speechless." You turn around, so she could get you out of the complicated dress.  
With your back to her, you roll your eyes. You didn't think he'd be taken with an old dress.

With the dress off, you change into the last dress. It's the most casual that you can see yourself wearing more than the others. It's still colorful, but long-sleeved and not as long as the first. The long slits on the side make it easy to wear some sort of pants underneath. While you change, Jan-He fidgets.  
"Have you thought about what you're going to do once this is over?" She asks.  
You haven't given it thought, having nowhere to go. Maybe to your father's home world? But you didn't know his side very well. They rarely visited. "Help establish order... Maker knows we need it." You say mostly to yourself. 

"Establish order." The woman repeats. "What is Dameron doing?"  
You shrug, "I don't know." You hadn't asked him. "Probably the same. We're in for the long run."  
"In the Resistance?"  
You nod, coming out to show off the final dress. She nods in agreement, "The colors complement your skin tone." She pauses, "What about you two?"  
You grimace. You didn't know. "I hope it's also for the long run."  
She nods. "That's a good hope. Do you want to stay for some tea?"  
"Sure." You go behind the screen again to change. 

You frown, putting your old clothes on. "I'll help you carry the dresses back. The old one is particularly heavy." Jan-He says as she leaves the room. They're drier now, but have a small musty smell. You couldn't wait to get back to take another long bath. 

Your heart skips beats as you think about going to meet her where ever you two will have tea. Instinct kicking in? You're not sure as you idly put the dresses on their hangers, bothering yourself to make them perfect. You didn't want to leave and encounter another unfriendly creature because the storm made them aggressive. She returns a few moments later. "Are you okay?" You nod and quickly follow behind her. The avian creatures are quiet now, some making noises, but over not as loud and threatening as earlier. There are a few more cats and dog like creatures sitting about, but none are as big as the one outside.

She pours you a cup, the liquid a dark purple, smelling of something sweet. Jan-He sits down, gesturing to the seat across from her. "You're a nervous one." You sit, shaking your head.  
"Not nervous, just wary of dangerous animals."  
"I don't own any dangerous animals. Darsi's? I can't speak for them." A shiver runs through you.  
"Nervous child." She says before sipping quietly. You take a sip as well. You know these flavors. Ciro has the same tea or something very similar.

"Tell me about you." The woman says, sitting back as a vibrant green bird perches on her shoulder. The beady eyes stare at you, tilting its head before flying off. "I'm from Hosian Prime." You reply, "Joining the Resistance because my mother thought it was a good idea. Then I could come back and tell my father about it, have him dissect it politically and see if the Resistance was worth saving."  
"Obviously, that's not going to happen?" You nod, drinking the hot liquid. 

"But now the cause is worth it, at least it is to me." You put the drink down, keeping your eyes on the plain mug. "There's nothing for me to go back to. I'm willing to give my life, if need be, so the universe is a better place." Jan-He stares, her face looking somewhat younger.  
"It won't come to that, your martyr won't happen." Her face now darkens. "Are you expected back soon?"  
You shrug. "They were gone before I woke up."  
"Gone?"  
"Didn't tell me anything, but wrote me a note telling me they'd be back." She nods. "Well, let's get you back then after we finish the tea."

The tea is refreshing and your nerves calm finally. She rambles about her husband and kids. They're alive for all you know and they sound well off in far away places. She stands, when you both finish. "Do you want another one?" You shake your head no, figuring you over stayed your welcome.

* * *

The walk back is shorter, because Jan-He knows where to go. She carries the lighter dresses while you carry the Celebration dress. Ka'Nai is nowhere to be seen when you leave. While you two walk, she says hello to passing neighbors. All types of humans and non-humans walk Yavin IV you see as you make it to the lone house of Kes Dameron. You left the door unlocked so you could get back in. 

The door is still unlocked as you two walk in. She places the dresses delicately on the couch. "I should go! But whenever you want to talk or raid my closet, just stop by. Next time, just tell me ahead of time so I can control some pets." She waves and leaves.

You watch as she goes. Though she can talk forever, you did enjoy her company. It's better than being alone. You carry the heavier dress back to your room, seeing the house still empty. You hang it in the empty closet and then put your bags of clothes inside as well. 

You relax on the bed after you put the other dresses inside. Where were they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading. hopefully i'll get up a fluffy valentine's day like chapter tmro~ also i changed my url and didn't save it b4 someone else did :P but my star wars blog is heywhatsupimpoe if you have any requests or feedback or anything :')


	34. Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uneventful quick tour of Yavin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorta long? idk lol

You take a long bath, relaxing in the warm water again. This time you couldn't relax as much as you still ponder where the Damerons went. You sit on the edge of the tub and watch as the water goes down in a swirl, tornado.

You get dressed and heat up some of the leftovers. The light from outside is still enough where you won't have to turn on any lights. You sit at the table, legs rocking back and forth while you wait for your food to finish. You want to look around for something to do, but don't want to snoop. If it wasn't so hot, maybe you'd go explore Yavin without Poe. Maybe you still would. 

The food satisfies you enough, filling you with the same feelings as it did yesterday. The door clicks and the trio entering is quiet. Kes speaks first, though his words are muffled. Poe says something back but you only catch the end. 

"...The interest of General Organa is the only one that matters right now." He's in his flight suit, frowning when he passes by, barely giving you a glance. BB-8 beeps after him and Kes stops at the table. "Everything alright with you?"   
He asks, "We were gone for a while." You nod, swallowing the food in your mouth and then cover it politely as you answer.   
"I'm fine. I went to Jan-He's." He nods, looking towards the hallway.   
"Good. I'm sure whatever she gave you is lovely." He continues on.

Poe emerges from the room a few moments later, discarded of his bright orange. BB-8 is with Kes now, giving the Sergeant feedback and the notes that the droid took. 

The commander sits across from you, a small scowl residing on his face. "Are we leaving tonight?" You ask, your voice small.   
"No. Not tonight." He answers quickly.   
"Are you angry?"   
His expression softens. "No, irritated, but not angry." His voice lowers, "When we get back to the base, I'll most likely be back out."   
"So soon?" You lean forward, moving your calf up to your seat.   
"Yeah, soon." Your face drops. "But I trust whatever the General has planned." 

You nod slowly, getting up to put your plate in the sink. "I have to get an old friend of hers." He continues, "My father doesn't think it's wise. But he'll help out our cause."

You don't really listen as you wash the dish. The pounding in your chest is deafening. You just want him safe only for a little while. His arms encircle you as you finish, making you jump. You didn't hear him moving towards you. 

He kisses your cheek. "I'm sorry we took so long. I want to make it up to you." You grin, grabbing a towel to dry the now clean plate.   
"Take me out?" You ask.   
He nods, "And show you around."   
You think about it for a moment. "Maybe later."   
"Later?" He asks as you put the now dry plate away. "Why later?"   
You smile at him. "Because I want to show you what she gave me." You take his hand and lead him back to the room.

He relaxes on the bed, closing his eyes for a second while you open the closet. You debate if you want to model them for the pilot as your fingers run across the different fabrics. He clears his throat, causing you to tense. A silence follows and you grab the first dress, the most practical one. You present it to him, holding it up to your body awkwardly.   
"I could probably wear it around the base." He nods, looking a bit bored.   
"I guess so." You frown back, returning to the closet. He sees the look before you completely turn around. "What's wrong?" 

You put it back, not sure what was wrong to be honest. Well you knew, but you weren't sure if you wanted to tell him why. But relationships didn't go anywhere if you two didn't talk. You shuffle from your guard and shrug.   
"What do you think of it?"   
He shrugs, "I mean, it's pretty?" You remember how Jan-He built up the other outfits and his potential reaction.   
"I should try them on so you can see."   
Poe gestures towards the door. "Be my guest." 

Returning, you close the bedroom door, hearing a surprised beep. You open it slightly seeing BB-8 looking up at you. "Do you want to come in?"   
He rolls back before beeping you a question.   
"I'm just trying on clothes." You open the door wider and the droid moves in quickly, almost running over your bare toes. You close the door again hearing nothing. 

The orange and white droid rolls near the tired pilot and the two begin to chat about whatever happened when they were gone. You obscure yourself with the wardrobe door and remove your clothes, trying not to expose yourself in front of the droid. The dress slips right over your head like before. You keep your pants on this time since you changed out of the dirty ones.

You keep your head high when you walk out from behind, as if to say wordlessly, 'This is what I meant.' You get both of their attention. BB-8 lets out a complimentary squeak and Poe's lips part in a warm smile and he nods again.   
"You could wear that. Though, people might think your rank is higher than a nurse."   
You make a face and then shrug. "I'd wear it not to that, but just around."   
He nods again, "I get it. Do you have any others?"   
Your smile widens. "I do. One of them I need help to get into... I'll save that for last." 

You pull the shirt dress up and then quickly grab the gaudy version. This time you discard your pants after the sort of stretchy fabric is surrounds you. His eyes light up at this one. His droid thinks you look like some flowers they passed earlier, so many different colors.   
"What about this one?" He asks, agreeing with BB-8. "You should definitely wear it around."

"It's too much." You reply, shaking your head. "I'll wear it in the company of you two, but probably no one else."   
The pilot chuckles, "I'm okay with that." 

You smile as you return to changing. They pick up where they started, they flew Shara's old aircraft that was big enough for the three of them. You wonder for a moment how that made Poe feel as you reach the tighter dress. They scouted a world that could be used as a new Resistance base. They couldn't stay at D'Qar long, the First Order knew you were in the Illenium System.

You struggle, making quiet noises as your put it on. There's not a mirror to check to see if you look okay so you quickly check your front and show the chatting duo. BB-8 lets out a high whistle before turning the round head to see Poe. His smile is wide, eyes roaming around.   
"Don't wear this one around the base." He says, meeting your eyes finally. "I have plans for this one." He adds, with a mischievous wink.   
You roll your eyes, "It isn't too much frill for you?" You ask, looking down at yourself."   
He shakes his head, "Is it for you?"   
You nod, "It's too fancy. I mean, the next one is fancier, but this... I can't see Jan-He in it." The mention of the older woman makes whatever fantasy he has disappear. 

You return to the closet, shrugging the dress off, feeling free only briefly. The next dress is the nicest but the most complicated. You show your head to see the pilot resting back, waiting for you. "Can you help me with this?" You ask meekly. He rises, as you turn around waiting for him. 

His lips meet the sensitive skin on your neck only for a moment. Your breath catches in your throat as his fingers meet your back, starting to button the dress together. "This one is really fancy. When would you wear it?" He inquires as he finishes.   
"She suggested to the celebration tomorrow night."   
"Why then? We might be sitting in grass. I don't think you want grass stains on this."   
"She did when she wore it."   
He shakes his head, finishing the dress. 

You turn to face him, a small smile on your face. "Besides, I don't have anything to wear tomorrow."   
"You could wear the colorful one." He nods in towards the splashy garment.   
"Maybe not." You walk past him for a second opinion from the patient droid. "What do you think?" 

BB-8 lets out a long string of beeps, full of compliments and pointing out certain details that the droid found aesthetically pleasing. Poe waits behind you, so he could undo the dress.   
"What do you think?" You ask, turning on your heel to make the skirts flare out making more noises, now curious, from the droid.   
"It's very pretty." He says putting his hand on your waist, "But I don't think you should wear it tomorrow."

You face your back to him, "We'll see then tomorrow." You dismiss the conversation as he helps you undress. You quickly put on your old clothes as he returns to BB-8. 

Poe is sitting on the edge of the bed, stretching. His face still reads fatigued and you question whether you should wait on asking if now would be a good time for a tour or should it be after a nice nap. You move beside him and listen to the end of the conversation. There are at least three other bases that weren't compromised, but having more didn't hurt.   
"I'm sure they're there too." Poe replies to the droid, a small smile on his lips, turning to you. "My old squadron from the New Republic... They're on other bases." He informs you. 

"Do you think they're safe?"   
He nods. "They're the best in my opinion. They can take care of themselves. Maybe you'll meet them before this is all over."   
You grin, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "If you say so." 

There's a pause between you three. The droid swivels his head between you two, trying to read the situation.   
"I think I'm ready for the tour." You stand, grabbing your shoes.   
"Alright. BB-8, do you want to come?" A positive beep is the answer. 

"I'm honored to be the tour guide." Poe replies, also standing. "What most interests you two?" BB-8 replies quickly, excitedly. He wants to see the shops, for monitors and potential upgrades. His master nods, "Those are reasonable." He brings his attention to you. "Surprise me." You wink, not sure what you wanted to see. "I can do that." 

It's cooled off a little since you were out. The droid rolls between you two as you walk down the path. He's mostly alarmed by the many animals around, asking innocent questions to the guide.   
"When I was little, I used to be afraid. But now I'm fine. I miss the nature of this jungle sometimes." 

Your eyes widen and the story of Darsi's pet bubbles from your mouth. BB-8 beeps terrified, shaking his head, noting how brave you were. "I'm not brave at all!" You say, shaking your head. "It was so scary. I thought I would die!"   
Poe chuckles, "You didn't. You lived."

You arrive at a hut, a sign for business outside written in messy paint. 'DROID PARTS.' BB-8 bursts in, Poe quickly following in. You wonder what upgrades would the little round robot need. You stick close, never being in such a place before. You didn't have a droid back at home. There were around, but your father saw them as a nuisance. 

They're checking out the discs, but so far find nothing useful. The owner is a humanoid giving BB-8 odd looks. You know Poe already is aware of the looks, as he conceals his droid a bit by stepping in front of him as he examines certain pieces. Finally the owner speaks. You don't know the language, but recognize it from bits and pieces from Kes and Poe yesterday. Poe responds in the same language, his tone a bit threatening, but his back to the man. You see BB-8 look up at Poe. If he had a face, the expression would be the same as yours, tense but confused. The owner persists and Poe finally turns, shaking his head replying. 

The subject of their conversation rolls over to you, as if you'd be able to protect him if you need to. After a few minutes of banter, the pilot ends the question and answer by waving his hand.   
"They don't have any upgrades, buddy." BB-8 beeps sadly and rolls away from you and out the door. You hear Poe say something to the man as you follow the droid out. 

When the distance between you and the store, BB-8 breaks the silence by beeping a thank you.   
"It's not an issue. You requested it and so we went." 

There's still a frown on his face however. Your fingers lace with his, BB-8 not in the middle this time. "What happened?" You asked, feeling his thumb brush against your hand with a small squeeze.   
"Tried to barter with me. Wanted BB-8 since he's never had a BB-unit before. Could never sell my friend." BB-8 replies with a small beep. "Anyway, over there is the Great Temple of Massassi."   
You nod, remembering how you couldn't remember the name earlier. "That's where the Royal Award Cemerony took place. And where tomorrow's celebration will be held." 

You nod again listening. His hand leaves yours and his arm travels to your shoulders. "It's so grand." You remark, remembering long nights of studying the Battle of Yavin, the destruction of Alderaan. You barely passed that test. "The notes my teacher gave me doesn't do it any grace." You add in a hushed whisper as the sky turns golden. 

The pilot ignores the awestruck expression on your face walking along the path. "When I was growing up, there used to be a little market nearby. My mother used to take me to look at parts and fresh foods." His voice trails for a moment, narrowing his eyes, searching. BB-8 responds, scanning forward. "It wasn't temporary when I left." 

Over the small hill reveals almost empty buildings. They've just closed for the night. You can sense his disappointment as he hurries you two by. The path comes to an end near an outlook. The tiny droid peeps softly, rolling forward slightly before returning back behind Poe's legs. 

The pilot smiles small, dropping to his knee. "Just came for the view. I can show--" He turns to you, a saddened smile forming on his face. "I should have asked you to bring your sketchbook." You return the look, sitting in the grass. It's softer than you expect against your hands, unlike the grass on D'Qar.   
"It's okay. I'll try to remember this and draw it later." It's a promise you want to keep. You haven't drawn landscapes in a very long time. 

The view is unlike any you've seen before in your lifetime. The mountains stretch out with a tiny sprinkling of town lights barely clashing with the golden aura of Yavin, the planet. The planet is scattered by the thrusting spires of lush greenery. No one says anything for the duration until the color finally fades into an almost darkness as the other moons take their turn in the sky. A flock of whisper birds fly over your heads, and your eyes break away to follow them. 

Poe stands, his knees cracking quietly. You rest a moment before standing with him. The noises around fill the silence as the jungle comes alive. You reach for his hand this time, finding it moving to his pocket. Your fingers tangle as he moves forward. "We should get back before it gets really late." Poe suggests. 

The walk back is filled with quick Q/A between you, BB-8 and the tour guide. Your questions focus on the animal noises, can he tell the animals apart? BB-8 counters them with questions on their diet.   
"I don't know the species that well. I don't know their calls. And they like humans more than they do metal droids." A shiver goes up your spine, your backside hurting from your fall. "But no one has gotten eaten in a very long time. You're both safe." 

You change the subject to the mountains. "Have you hiked them?" The pilot shakes his head, though you can barely see the action. "Negative. I've flown over them plenty. My mom loved flying over them the most." 

You smile, "Did you fly with her?"   
In response, he squeezes your hand. "Of course. Who do you think taught me?"   
"I bet you were so excited."   
The smile cracks at the corners for a second, "I was so happy. I remember by my father watching holding his breath. Nothing terrible would happen. But still. In the air, in her arms (I couldn't reach the pedals or anything), I felt so powerful in a way. As powerful as a child can be anyway..."   
You nod briefly, taking it in. "She was a good teacher."   
"She was."

The questions tether off, the tiny droid beeping quietly. You hear Poe laugh to himself and he whispers to you, "Wonder what he's talking about sometimes." You nod as the beeps continue.   
"When are we leaving?" You ask, not wanting this to end. You imagine yourselves holed up here for the rest of the war. You know that fantasy would never happen. Poe wouldn't sit back and let whatever happen.   
"Maybe after the celebration? We'll sleep first." You start to see the house again, the lights on in certain areas. "And then, back at again." 

"How's your chest?" You inquire, knowing the injuries are healed now.   
"I can barely tell the difference from before." He flashes a winner's smile. "Stop worrying about me. If I start hurting again, you will be the first one to know, (A/N)."   
You're thankful for the darkness to hide your flushed face. "I care a lot about you and your safety." His droid cosigns. 

"I always come back, don't I?" You frown, shaking your head.   
"That's not the point... Just be safe when you go." He stops, pulling you in for a quick embrace, burying your head against his chest.   
"Thank you for caring so much." He says, kissing your hair.   
"I'd do it without your thanks." Your reply is lost in his shirt. You pull away, letting the rest of the way be in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! i hope this reads ok, been adding on it sporadically when i get the time. :")


	35. Three Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and the Reader celebrate and stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll write the leading chapter eventually. I just really wanted to post this already :')

His fingers brush against your back as he fastens the buttons together. "This is really fancy just for a few lights in the sky." He says, finishing up. You turn around, touching his shoulder. "She said it was a tradition. I felt bad and didn't want it to die."  
He rolls his eyes, focusing on his clothes now. "A tradition for her family. Not yours."  
You sigh, "She asked me to." You didn't want to argue about it, knowing you two would go in a circle. 

He mutters to himself as he looks at his selection. "Have you heard from the General yet?" You ask, standing in the mirror, attempting to style your hair in some formal hairstyle to match the dress. He shakes his head, deciding on the nicest shirt he brought.  
"I'm going to look odd beside you." He remarks after a moment.  
Your lips form a small smile. "No you won't."  
He stares at himself in the mirror behind you. "You look super important."  
"I am super important." You retort, winking.  
He chuckles, coming over to you. "Hopefully I won't be too distracted by your looks." His arms wrap around your waist. 

Your smile widens in your reflection. "I wouldn't mind it. If you did get distracted." He pecks your cheek, returning to his clothes. "I know you wouldn't."

You two look mismatched. The dress does make you look more aristocratic. He's beside you, in a dark sweater like top and dark pants, topped off with his flight jacket. When you two leave the room, you hear the living room is silent. Kes is sitting there, listening to some recording BB-8 plays of music from the New Republic.  
"Maybe I'll get my own droid." He says after a moment to Poe as his son sits in the chair across him to put on his shoes.  
"Maybe. BB-8, are you coming with us?" The droid answers negatively.  
"Why not?" The music stops briefly as he explains.  
"You're afraid of the noises? Really?" He rolls over to Kes, adding that since Kes is staying, the droid didn't want to leave him to be alone. The elder Dameron possesses a sad demeanor. 

Before you two go, Poe and Kes share quiet words. You figure because when you two would come back, it'd be late and the man would have already retired for the night. BB-8 compliments your dress, rolling around the bottom.  
"Thank you." You bend down the best you could, creating a pool of fabric around you as you listen to the droid wishing for you and the pilot a good night out. Apparently you two deserved it in his point of view. You pat the metal head with a amiable smile.  
"Thank you again." The circular head turns hearing Poe returning.  
"We should go before all the good spots are taken." He helps you stand. "You sure you don't want to come with buddy?" 

BB-8 beeps, already moving further into the house. As well as watching Kes, he'd keep himself busy with his connection to the Resistance. Things were moving fast back on D'Qar.

"If anything happens, just alert me." The pilot says, his fingers interlacing with yours. BB-8 beeps a goodbye as you two make your way out. 

You let go of his hand to hold up your dress as you walk. He doesn't seem to mind, watching you take careful steps as you walk. His hands reside in his pockets and he whistles. 

"It's cooled off, so that's good." He comments, staring up at the sky. You smile, grateful for that. You couldn't imagine wearing this dress in that relentless heat, unless you preferred passing out.  
"The weather is unlike any I've experienced." You chat, wanting to fill the silence.  
He glances at you, "Really?"  
You nod. "The weather was moderate back at home. I mean, we'd get hot days. But never hot and humid often."  
His arm slips around your shoulders. "I remember it being an okay planet. I prefer this weather though."  
A hidden eye roll from you passes as you try to think of something other than the weather. "I liked that drawing you did of me." You say, seeing the crowd of inhabitants near the big monument you saw the day before. 

"I spent only a few minutes on it. I also figured you would like it more than just words." You lean into him. "I did... Too bad you came home after me. I drew you a picture." He turns, looking down at you.  
"You did?" You nod, feeling eyes on you. Not from him, but around. Bystanders whisper as you pass. It's your dress. You ignore it by looking up at the pilot who's leading the way now through the growing crowd.

You two end up settling on an empty bench. A few others are sitting around, but keep to themselves as they excitedly chat about what they expect. "I'm still surprised that BB-8 didn't come." You say, smoothing out the skirt.  
"I'm not." His arm rests behind you on the warm wood. "He's not too fond of explosions."  
"How does he handle them when you two are out?"  
A playful smile comes to his lips. "Nagging. Telling me to be careful."  
"At least someone is." You lie your head against his chest, feeling his hand rest on your shoulder. 

The air is laden with activity. Looking past him, you see children in face paint with toys. One of the toys is Chewbacca. You smile at the realization. "Is this actually the new year?" You ask, sitting up a little bit.  
He shakes his head. "Yes and no. It celebrates the win of the Battle of Yavin and the New Year I suppose."  
You return to his chest, making small patterns on his shirt with your finger. His own hand mimics the patterns on your back. 

"When will it start?" You murmur, closing your eyes. The constant beating of his heart and the easy raising and falling of his chest help keep you in a trance. "Soon. It's getting darker." He looks over to his right. "Are you hungry?" You nod, though your hungry isn't too much. You could handle it. There is still delicious food at home.

He stands, "I'll be right back." There's a vendor nearby with sweet-smelling goods and there's a small line, a humanoid and their children. One of them notices Poe's jacket and the Resistance insignia. You watch, worried. Though Kes said Yavin mostly supported the Resistance, that didn't mean that sympathizers, no matter their age, could be around. Instead, Poe bends down and talks to the youths who don't quite know him, but are intrigued that a real Resistance fighter is there. The parent has a smile on their face when they turn around. You can't hear what they say, but Poe shakes his head with a small wave of his hand. 

The family moves away, the children, now excited with their sweets, speak loudly in praise to each other about the pilot they just left. "I can't believe he's here! Baba! Do you know him? Does he know about the Jedi?" Their adult hushes them as they walk by and Poe is back by your side. 

"Impressed little ones?" You ask as he hands you a sticky bread ball with a small berry on top. "Of course. They asked if I was apart of the Rebellion. I corrected them and told them I was a pilot. They want to see me fly and I told them one day they might. And then their parent thanked me for keeping the universe safe." 

You nod, biting into the treat a flashing light catching your eye. It's starting. You turn away, resting against him as you eat continue to eat, careful not to get it on your outfit. It takes a few moments before they're going with shapes and different color until it's obvious they're doing a retelling of the battle. No wonder Darsise was proud. It's impressive. And you're feeling a warm tug in your chest.

You want to, you realize, as his hand holds yours. The bright lights in the sky color your faces in glorious unnatural colors. His eyes are on the show, watching in awe. You move closer to him, resting against his shoulder. His eyes dart to you before returning to the sky. You wonder for a second if he knows that you've decided. You tear your eyes away from his face, watching the reflections in his big brown eyes, the small twitches at the corner of his lips when the firework reveals itself. 

"Poe." Your voice is almost inaudible with the cheers and booms drowning you out, but he hears you, his attention to you. "I'm really happy to be with you right now." He smiles wide. "There's no one else I'd rather be with." You smile back, though smaller and return to resting on his shoulder. Your palms sweat as you think of what words to say to him, if you needed words anyway. You're content with him. No one else matters right now.

The finale lights up the sky in a spectacular display. He leans forward, sighing. People around start to clap and he joins in. You sit up and clap quietly. After a moment, you both stand. "I used to love those every year..." He put his arm around your shoulders. Your heart beats louder than you think it ever has before. You glance up at him, curious if he could hear it too. His eyes however are forward as you two saunter through the crowd. 

"We go home tomorrow." He says, a moment passing. "Really?" He nods. "We can't stay here forever. A few days is pushing it already." He shakes his head, "I don't want to go either." It's his home planet. Of course he doesn't want to go.  
"Have you told your father?"  
He shakes his head again, "No, not yet." You sigh, nodding. "Okay."

You're alone as you walk down the street, his arm around you still. Every step causes your heart to sink and the butterflies to dance. "Poe." You feel your mouth say his name, but doubt you actually said anything. "Yeah?" Your face heats up as you turn, looking up at him. "I..." Your heart pounds even louder now. You tremble slightly, but attempt to hide it by holding on to the bottom of his shirt. "I-I love you." You look down at his feet, feeling the nervous tears in your eyes while your chest tears itself a part. 

He doesn't say anything, staying unmoving. You hope no tears fall from your eyes. You don't want him to think you're upset. His face however freezes in an oh expression. You look up after the silence is piercing. He smiles, brushing the stray tears that do fall away. "I love you too." 

He brings your lips to his and kisses you so gently as if you're too fragile and delicate. He pulls away with a frown, "Why are you crying?" You don't even realize you are.  
You wipe your face quickly, sighing, "I was nervous okay?" You bring your face to his chest, feeling his arms wrap around.  
"Don't be nervous about that."  
You shake your head. "That's hard." Your voice is muffled, but he knows what you said.  
"Well, now you know that I love you... And that you love me." 

You pull away, taking a few deep breaths. "I feel like I'm dreaming." He chuckles to himself, his arm returning to your shoulder. "You're not." 

In the sky, the smoke still hovers with the familiar smell of explosives. He holds on tight to you, smiling wide. "I wonder what BB-8's doing."  
You giggle, "Probably waiting for us to come back. I bet he could see the show though." A quick peck is his reply. Heat comes to your cheeks and your smile hurts them as the corners twitch.  
"Do we have to go back tomorrow?" You whimper, finally the corners drooping a little.  
"What will there be for us to do tomorrow?" He asks before adding, "I already told Finn we'd be coming back." It is official now. He wouldn't go back on his word to Finn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading~


	36. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Where do you want to go? Once this is all over?" You knit your eyebrows for a quick second before burying your face in his chest. The question that Jan-He asked. You didn't think about it, not often. "I'd say home... But that's where ever I'm with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~hm. nsfw ahead~ Prompts filled (hopefully): 244) That tickles  
> 52) Talking Dirty (hopefully)  
> 55) Nibble

You don't whine out loud, only standing up straight with him still holding you close. "I can't wait to change out of this." You say, changing the subject. The fabric after a while is heavy, your arms wanting to let the delicate cloth to drag on the ground, but you knew better.  
"I'll help you out." He says seeing the destination in the distance. The chatter from others is still lively, though faint now.

The lights are all off now, as he opens the door. BB-8 and Kes are in the living room, but the low power mode beeps and the snoring from Kes alert you both that they're sleeping. You tiptoe past and enter the empty room, closing the door when you both are in.  
You rest your palms open against the bed. "Undo me."

He stares for a moment before tossing his jacket near you. His fingers start unbuttoning the dress, sending goosebumps around your body as the cool air hits your back. The fabric slips from your shoulders and rest against the bed. You stand when he's done, the dress falling with a small whoomf to the ground making a fabric pool around your feet. You step out careful not to step on the dress and wrinkle it further. He's facing the other way, changing into something to sleep in. You pick up the dress and bring it to the closet where the hanger resides.

"Thank you." He whispers, the bed creaking slightly as he sits. "For what?" You ask, putting it away and grabbing your last clean shirt, not bothering with bottoms.

"Coming with me." He replies, relaxing. You enter from the other side and shrug, "You already thanked me."  
"I know... But I want you to know how much I mean it. Plus, it was a nice change of landscape for a little while." You rest on his chest. "Yeah, I suppose."

He kisses your forehead, tilting your head up slightly before kissing your full lips. You lick your lips and smile. "I don't want to go back." He kisses your lips again to silence the whines.

His strong arms warm your smaller body as his fingers grip the bottom of your shirt. Your lips separate from his for a breath and to allow the fabric to pass between you two. Without missing a beat, your lips lock, his tongue exploring your own and quickly finding dominance. His mouth leaves yours, peppering your collarbones in feather light kisses that trails down to your breast.

Your breath catches in your throat as his tongue flicks the sensitive bud, and then sucking the next. Your arms wrap around his head, a moan bubbling from your mouth. The pilot moves to the other one, as your fingers tangle in his hair. His hand goes to the top of your waist band and your heart quickens as his fingers brush against your sensitive button. His mouth hungrily returns to yours as his hands pull the thin fabric from your hips.

Your own hands roam to the ends on his tank top as your hips grind against Poe's pelvis. Your noses accidentally bump but you quickly readjust, his hands resting on your thighs and ass. With every movement, guided by the pilot, you could sense the size of his member between your thighs getting harder. He breaks the kiss, lifting his shirt over his head and tossing near your own. His arms wrap around your back and lies you back on the bed.

Your eyes follow his movements as his kisses trail to your stomach. "You're beautiful." He breathes before his kisses go lower.  
"I love you," You whimper, lifting your legs and resting your feet behind his shoulders.  
"I love you too." He replies before his tongue flattens going from bottom to top. You close your eyes tight, as the pilot starts. Your fingers tangle with his hair as you coo his name.

You bite your lip, trying to contain yourself. He didn't need any directions from you, only heeding to the slight bucks of your hips and the small gasps that escape from your lips. His fingers press down against your pelvis to keep your movements to a minimum. He removes his lips to your inner thigh, nipping the sensitive skin with his teeth before giving it a small kiss. You glance down as he gives the other side the same treatment, his dark eyes meeting yours. Your hands slip down to his as he returns his lips. He takes your hands in his and your fingers squeeze tight around his own briefly.

The pilot lets go of one hand and rests his arm across your lower waist, keeping your squirms down. Your toes curl in under his sides, while his thumb rubs the back of your hand in gentle circles. You whimper his name, sitting up slightly. The warmth in your belly slowly consumes you. Your free hand moves to the restraining arm, squeezing. He lifts up, quickly coming to your lips.

You hold his face in your hands as his mouth meets yours, your taste still lingering. A small whine comes from you as he kisses your neck. "In time, in time." He purrs. Your longing eyes linger as he sits up, pulling his pants lower. You sit up as well, pressing your lips against his collarbone before trailing them up to his mouth. Your fingers wrap around the semi-hard member. He groans soft, before moving to his back. You crawl between his legs, an impish smirk resting on your face.

You hold him in your hand, leaning down kissing the base. He shifts his legs, his pants slipping off. You pepper his hips with quick pecks, feeling him twitch. With your tongue, you trail up the under side reaching the tip with a small kiss. You take your time getting him in your mouth to his dismay. His hand clenches, a small curse leaving his lips. You arch your back as you pick up the pace, fingernails gently grazing his inner thighs. His other hand grasps your hair, coaxing you to go quicker than you planned.

You remove your mouth, shaking your head. "Don't get greedy, Dameron."  
The commander lies back, "Honey, you're going too slow."  
You wink, "I don't want you to get too excited too fast." He rolls his eyes as you continue, a small gasp escaping him.

You reach a speed favorable for the both of you. Your eyes flick up, watching as he comes undone above, biting his lip and closing his eyes. "Just like that..." You moan against him in response. You lick his length again, cooing. "You're so cute like this."

He covers his eyes and his arm falls to his mouth momentarily. When you begin to suck again, faster than before, his hand returns, but this time ending the pleasure. He brings you up to his face. "I need you." He breathes, kissing the side of your mouth. You turn your head, meeting his kiss.

He lies back, bringing you down with him. You straddle his hips, rubbing yourself against him. His hands rest on your waist, his eyes never leaving your own. A small smile comes to your lips as you feel him slip in. The smile changes into a small oh as he begins to stretch you. Your hands rest on his damp chest, trying to get comfortable. You begin to start a languid pace, his grip helping keep the momentum. Your hand rests on his while the other plays with your sensitive nub. He watches with hungry eyes as your hips grind against his with quiet slaps of skin on skin. Your legs twitch as you move from resting on your toes to your knees. His fingers replace yours, gently massaging the bundle of nerves. You arch your back, making tiny fists on his chest, his thrusts filling you quickly.

You lean down, finding his earlobe, nibbling the skin. His grip on your hips hardens as he guides them down to meet his. Your teeth gently bite down, sucking. Your mouth opens, letting him go as his thrusts fill you at a quickening speed. Your stomach tightens and coils. You rest your hand against the wall, your voices mixing in quiet moans.

The commander lifts his head momentarily, catching your nipple in his enthusiastic mouth. A curse leaves your mouth when his fingers pinch the other nipple. He lets go, resting his head back, a naughty smile playing on his lips. "Curse louder for me." Your hand against the wall clenches into a fist as you repeat the curse, a little loud, voice cracking. "Good girl." He replies, the smile widening. The speed begins to vary, speeding up until you're both getting a little loud, slowing to catch your breath.

He pats your bottom a few times before pulling out. "Your back." He says, rubbing himself. You whine again, wanting to stay in this position. You're in control in this position, and he's hitting all the right areas. But you do as he says. On your back again, his eyes roam on your body in the almost dark room.

"I love you." He remarks after a moment of silence. You chuckle. It's the first time he's said it initially. "Come on and fuck me, loverboy." You reply winking. "Raunchy at a sweet moment like this?" Poe joins you in laughter, coming down with soft kisses. His hips buck against your own, however not entering. You don't end the kissing right away, hating the teasing.

After a few more times you let your want be known. "Poe..." You push his hair back before running your fingers through the thickness. His eyebrow flicks up in feigned surprised. "Begging, sweetheart?" Your face heats up quickly as his other hand rests at your shoulder. "If you insist."

He fills you slowly, excruciatingly slow. Your arms wrap around his neck as he leans down, hiking your legs up. In your ear, his voice is hot. "Do you like me like this?"  
A breathy laugh is your reply. "Your voice... Fuck. That tickles."

He nibbles your lobe as his thrusts gain speed. You unwrap and rest your arms at his side, fingers running against him in the opposite direction he's moving. "Harder." You demand, as he finds your spot again. "Harder?" He asks, his face still up to your cheek. You nod, as your digits move to his back, leaving small marks. He groans in response.

Your walls squeeze him gently, holding him as he moves out and in. You wonder if you can get one more word, one more phrase in. His breathing gets shallower as does yours. "Look at me." He whispers, lifting himself a bit higher. You mewl in response, the lewd sounds from your bodies making you blush. Your eyes meet his briefly before receiving a wet kiss from him. His tongue dances in your mouth, his movements faster.  
He breaks the kiss, resting his head against yours. He whispers a curse, before shaking his head. "I'm so close, (A/N)." The yearning in his voice is enough.

You kiss him, wrapping your arms around him. "I love you." You say quietly as he pounds one last time. The sticky warmth fills you hastily, but he slows, kissing your damp forehead and pushing the clinging hair from it. "I love you too." He says back, before rolling off you.

"Did you come too?" He asks after a moment, his voice a little hoarse.  
You smile, "Yeah."  
He lets out a breathy laugh. "Good, good..."

You curl up next to him, dazed. Your legs aren't as shaky anymore. Neither of you say a word for what feels like forever. Every few moments, you kiss his bare chest or he gives you a small one on your forehead. "(A/N)?" He says breaking the silence. His hand rubs against your shoulder.  
"Hmm?" You glance up at him.

"Where do you want to go? Once this is all over?" You knit your eyebrows for a quick second before burying your face in his chest. The question that Jan-He asked. You didn't think about it, not often.  
"I'd say home... But that's where ever I'm with you." You snort at how cheesy that comes off.  
He smirks, touching your cheek. "That's sweet." His eyes lower.  
"What about you?" You ask, sitting up.

He furrows his brow, deep in thought. "I don't know." He says after a moment. "Somewhere safe?" He shrugs, "The universe should be safe anyway, when we win..." He looks down at you. "I think I want to start my own flight academy."  
"Really?"  
He nods, "Teaching the next generation how to fly. We're going to have to rebuild. That'll be my way."  
"What will you name it? The Poe Dameron Academy?"  
He shakes his head, "No no. Something more prestigious." His eyes soften, "Maybe after my mother."  
You rest against his chest again. "She'd appreciate that, I think."

His lips press against your forehead, lingering for a moment. You wait for him to stay something when he pulls away, but you two return to silence. "Anyway, we've got a busy day ahead of tomorrow... We should have went to bed as soon as we got back." He gives your arm a small squeeze before sighing. You turn, facing away from him, becoming the little spoon. "Fine." His arm rest around your waist. You smile to yourself, "I love you."  
His voice is soft, sleepy. "I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a cheesy sap im srry, but yeah lol thanks for reading! *lightspeed back to D'Qar*


	37. Detour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An encounter with the First Order causes a small detour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Action sequences are difficult. lol oh yeah! prompt fills:  
> -I have you shoved against the wall but now I can’t stop looking at your mouth  
> 32\. “Do I get a kiss for that?”

He wakes you up with a small kiss. "Time to get ready." He says once you stir. You respond by rolling over. "Why so early every time?" You mumble, grasping at the sleep that still lingers. He doesn't reply, throwing the covers off him. You listen to his footsteps as he grabs his discarded sleep clothes from the ground. The sleep from early welcomes you with warm arms as you drift back.

You groan feeling him on top of you, his arms at your side. "(A/N), you have to wake up." You whine, thrashing underneath him to make him move. He holds his ground by gripping the sheets and bed.  
"A few more minutes?" You ask, giving up.  
"No." He answers, still on top of you.  
You look up at him. "Do I earn a kiss if I get up?"  
The Commander looks at the wall, thinking. "Yes."

He rolls off you, waiting for you to follow through. You sigh, sitting up. His lips brush against yours before his hand rests on your face, bringing you closer. You sit up, feeling the covers fall from your chest as you wrap your arms around his neck. He pulls away, patting the bed. "Okay. Now it's time to get up." You roll your eyes, but do as he says.

While you pack the rest of your things, Poe and BB-8 take their bag and charger station to the X-Wing. You wear the colorful garment to BB-8's approval. The pilot sits on the edge of the bed while you finally finish your bag and carefully hold the dresses in your arms. "It feels weird leaving." He grabs your bag and leads the way out.  
"We'll come back in due time."  
You smile, knowing that to be true. "Next time, let's explore more." 

He puts your things away, frowning at the tight fit. "We can leave that dress here. You won't need it on the base." You pick up the heavier dress and start trekking. Kes is up now, watching from the porch.  
He looks upset, but hides it with a gentle smile. "It was nice meeting you, (A/N)."  
You smile back, giving a brisk curtsy. "We'll see each other again."  
He nods, taking the dress from you. "I'll take that... Next opportunity, I'll show you the tree in the backyard. When it's in bloom." You shake his hand before returning to Poe who's already in the aircraft. 

You climb in clumsy, getting settled against him. "To D'Qar..." You close your eyes, feeling the familiar vibrations of the Black One coming to life. With a few more presses, you're off. BB-8 and the commander speak little; the pilot's connecting to the base, trying to see what he's got ahead of him when you land. The banter between him and whoever is boring and you open your eyes to glance out. You two hadn't hit light speed yet. The planet Yavin consumes the left vision, your mouth opening in awe. "Okay, BB-8, let's kick it into light speed." 

From the right, a roaring sound takes your attention. He curses, trying continuing the change. "If we hurry, they won't attack." You look over seeing the TIE fighter fly over. The sight shakes you to the core. BB-8 beeps in dismay. "We'll lose them. And then we gotta go." 

You clench your fist, feeling him tense under you. The Black One rushes past as soon as the fighter starts to shoot. You close your eyes tight and start praying, to who? You're not sure. Anyone. He's cursing under his breath as he moves in strange ways, sticking close to the gas giant, rather than the moon. The fighter takes the bait, trying to take you down. As far as you two were aware, their main base was destroyed, but none other than Commander Dameron himself. 

"We're on our way. Just in a little... skirmish. Just one. Straggler? I don't.." He curses again, "Okay." You wonder what they're talking about only briefly while your mind returns to wanting this to be over and getting out alive. 

The X-Wing lurches forward and you hear the warning beeps. Hit, but not fatal. With a quick jolt, Poe maneuvers a turn, placing him straight on with the coming First Order aircraft. You open your eyes for a moment only to shut them, embracing death? Everything is going too fast. He shoots on target and blasts through the now remains.

He hits light speed, but barely. You're breathing hard, trying to calm down. You don't even notice how quick your face has become wet with perspiration. The danger is away, but neither Poe or his droid say anything. Coming out is rocky, but he lands easily. You look up, seeing a rundown urban planet rather than home, D'Qar. He opens the hood and you two sit there for what feels like forever, while BB-8 accesses the damage. 

You climb out and sit on the gravel immediately. Your legs are made of gelatin now, and your stomach turns at the thought. He's by your side, though using his communicator. "Here are my coordinates. The Black One... It's flyable, though it's not advisable. We're all alive." You rub your head, trying to make sense of what just happened. His droid rolls between your thighs, allowing you to rest on the surprisingly cool surface. "See you then." 

Poe sits down next to you, patting your leg. "First 'battle?'" He asks.  
You lift your head and nod. "Terrifying."  
"That was tame compared to a real fight... But there must be more where that's coming from." He stands, "Come on." 

You take his hand coming up faster than you expect. You fall into his arms, but he continues to hold you. "Don't worry. We'll go slow. The Admiral is sending someone to us." You pull away, wiping away stray panicky tears. "Will there be more?"  
He shakes his head, "I don't think they'll follow us here. And if they did, they were already here."

You return your face, the orange jumpsuit becoming damp. But this time, it's only briefly. "Let's go." He goes to the Black One to get a few things, but comes back with two blasters and a pack. "Just in case."  
On the inside, you fall apart. But you hold the weapon carefully. "I don't think we'll need them." You respond, as he looks around.  
"You don't know that." 

He kisses your forehead, "It'll be over soon." Your hands intertwine as he starts down an alley. For the most part, the area is empty of anyone, though you see a few children. They look small, like they haven't eaten in weeks. You take the pack from your shoulders, feeling like you had to do something. They eye you with suspicion, before coming forward. Poe moves automatically, turning to see you gathering a small crowd of them. "It's all I have. I'm sorry." You're flustered, still trying to stay calm. You two did live. The children are happy with the bland rations, and thank you profusely. They scatter when Poe comes back. 

"That was nice of you." You stand, "Are we in a safe territory?" You ask, glancing around. Old posters of the New Republic are tattered, newer looking posters of the Resistance up in their places. "I'm guessing so." Your hands meet again you two walk through a different alley, following BB-8. 

The droid halts, hearing a voice that sounds like it's from an intercom. The commander pauses, pressing you against a brick wall. "X-Wing in the old hangar... No sign of Resistance fighters... Be on alert." 

You stare at him alarmed. You listen as the footsteps go by. You're concealed by the grimy brick wall. When they fade, you shake your head, "You need to change. You stick out so obviously!" Your hands tremble as you try to undo the uniform. His hand comes to yours.  
"Calm down."  
"How?" You try to keep your voice low.  
"They don't know what they're looking for. Who they're looking for."  
"Poe." You whine. 

"I know what I'm doing... BB-8, how close are they?" The droid starts to calculate. The pilot scans the area before spotting an open door to a seemingly abandoned building. "We'll go there." He nods towards the direction, waiting on the time. The droid finally beeps, though with some warnings on risk taking. "We'll stay there until the Resistance get here. Though, it'll be messy." 

Waiting is the next nerve killer. You can only see him against this wall, as his eyes shift, waiting for the next moment to go. Occasionally, his eyes rest on you, until he notices you staring back.  
"What?" You ask, furrowing your brow.  
"Nothing." You try to look past him, seeing buildings and alleyways, wondering what else could be lurking.  
"Why are you staring at me like that?" You ask, your voice barely a whisper. 

His lips meet yours, parting them with his sneaky tongue. Your hands make fists on his chest, pushing him off gently. You start to inquire what that was for, but he takes your hand. "We gotta go."

The building is empty and dark, rodents and other night creatures have made it home, but stay away from you three. The noises send a shiver down your spine. Besides that, your lips still tingle from that kiss. "How close now?" He starts to undo his uniform, revealing his dark underclothes. BB-8 replies quickly. "Good, okay." He points to the pack. "I have some pants in there." You toss him the clothes, and try to stay hidden, though no light filters in clean.

Once he's changes, he frowns. "I don't want to leave my FreiTek." You're happy that it's dark and he can't see your exasperated eyes.  
"Love, you can get another on-"  
Outside, you hear shooting, "Resistance." 

You two gather your things and rush out. The fighting is aerial versus the ground, and you're hoping the children from earlier are safe away from this carnage. You follow Poe and the path back to the Black One, trying not to shriek every time a storm trooper crosses your path. Between the chaos in the sky and Poe's sharp eye, they don't have a chance to get their shot in. You're an easy target otherwise. 

There's a freighter waiting on you two. You hurry in, collapsing on the seat, your breathing tearing through your chest. In your ear is Poe. "We're going to be okay." You don't open your eyes until you're back on D'Qar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! if anything sounds awkward or something, please tell me. :)


	38. Safe & Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back on D'Qar, but not for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt fills: A Sweet Kiss (in fact there are like three)/Cuddling

The ride is loud. You can't decide which is louder: the conversation between the commander and his superiors or the freighter itself, roaring through space. You wonder if it's supposed to be that loud. You dare not open your eyes still. There's a pain above your left eyebrow, the cause unknown. Debris from running, you guess. Or a normal headache. If it persists, you'd go to medbay. Their voices lower, talking about the Black One. It's dangerous to leave it, but they don't want to risk flying it damaged. "I could go back. It's my X-Wing anyway." You tense, not realizing his hand on your back. His eyes cut to you for a second before returning to the Admiral. 

When you land, his hand shakes you a little. "We're back." You slowly open your eyes, the brightness of the lights stinging. You expect him to leave with the others, but he waits for your grogginess to pass. Your legs faintly tremble with leftover adrenaline and you stretch, trying to rid the feeling. The pilot looks so tired in this moment, sitting beside you. 

"I'm sorry." His apology is quiet, barely audible. "What?" You furrow your brow, tilting your head to the side. The ache still there.   
"I shouldn't have baited the TIE Fighter."   
"We would have gotten spotted anyway--" His hand goes to the source of your pain.   
"You're bleeding!" His voice is urgent, upset. "We have to go to medbay." He removes his hand, standing. "We'll talk later."   
You blink, he's moving too fast, you note as you make your way out of the freighter. 

He walks briskly, you behind, though you slow halfway there when you see your friends. They're all huddled in a covered area. It must have just stopped raining. You start to wave, but he stands in front of you. "(A/N), are you alright?" You nod, the pain still persistent, but nothing you couldn't handle. He holds your head in his hands, checking the wound over. "I still want you to go to medbay to get checked out." 

"Walk slower then." He nods, his hands lowering to yours. His pace is still faster than you want to go, every step is pounding your head. His grip is clammy and he starts babbling about his adventures with the Black One when you two arrive at medbay. You faintly smile, genuinely interested. The nurse smiles when they see you. "Commander Dameron and Nurse (A/N)..." They frown, noticing the cut. "Let's get that checked." 

They lead you to an empty room. You recognize it as the one they put Poe in months earlier as you sit in the chair. "It's been busy since you two have gone. We're moving." You almost whine. D'Qar seems so safe. The base perfectly hidden, but... They knew of which system the Resistance resides, the main base. It's dangerous to stay. The nurse checks the wound over before putting a cold cloth on it. You hiss at the contact. It stings. "I'm aware... Do you have ideas where to?" The nurse shakes their head. "No. I've heard a few places, but it's scrambled.

"What happened to you two, by the way?" The curiosity peaks when you reach for the pilot's hand.   
"Run in with a lone TIE." Poe answers, his voice serious.   
"Terrifying. How'd you hurt your head?"   
You don't respond right away, not knowing for sure. "Maybe I hit my head? I don't know."   
The medic applies a bandage, "Doesn't matter now... Shall we see you tomorrow?" You nod. "Good."

* * *

You still hold his hand when you leave medbay. His early babbles now replaced by the beeping of his droid, chastising him. He shouldn't have left without saying where he's headed. "(A/N) had a bad cut on their head." He starts to explain. The round droid continues rolling, moving on to a list of things they need to do now that they're back. 

Poe stops, facing you. "We'll talk later. You should get some rest." You nod again feeling his lips brush against your cheek.   
"I love you." You utter, as he starts to catch up with BB-8. "You too!" You hear him reply with a small wave.

* * *

Ciro is waiting by your door. So is Sabik. You haven't seen them together like this since Sabik spends most of their time with Finn and Ciro spends her time with the others, moreso now and rarely talking about relationships. But her eyes are pink and puffy now with Sabik's arm around her shoulders. They both look sullen, but surprised to see you. Ciro's arms are quick around you. She smells sweet like a flower. You'd ask to borrow this perfume later when you're alone with the pilot again. She pulls away, crying again. "You're back!" They must have heard about the encounter.

Sabik is next, their hug tighter, upset. "They told Finn, who told me! A real TIE Fighter? Oh my goodness! Maker protect you!" They pull away before kissing your forehead. Their odd dark eyes widen when they notice the bandage. "I can explain. In my room." 

You unlock the door, seeing it as you left it. Your bed is still messy. You sit on it, sighing. Ciro sits in your desk chair and Sabik sits next to you on the bed, causing it to sink towards them. They both give you an expectant look. "Where do you want me to begin?" Ciro answers quickly. "When you first left. Sabik didn't tell me anything." Sabik looks slightly offended. 

You take a deep breath, grabbing a pillow to hold on to. "We went to Yavin IV. That's where he's from."   
The girl's eyes widen. "Really? What is it like?"   
"Hot. Humid. Beautiful." You reply with a smile.   
"Beautiful?"   
You nod, sitting feels nice, the pain lessening.   
"Yavin or Poe?" 

You roll your eyes, ignoring the question. "We left today, early. We didn't expect the First Order... But it was only one. It got one shot in and we barely got away! Poe was so calm... He shot once and destroyed it. But I guess they had already alerted the First Order that we were around because when we arrived at this one planet for backup since the Black One couldn't make the ride back, we saw a few Storm troopers on the ground."   
Sabik gasps, "Did they see you?"   
You shake your head. "If they did, I doubt I'd be in one piece right now. Anyway, we had to run through the gun fire to get the freighter... I was so scared."   
Ciro wipes her eyes, and shakes her head. "You're brave."   
"I wouldn't call that bravery. I just followed Poe and hoped for the best." 

Neither say anything for a moment. You look at the pillow, wondering where the next base would be. "And I found out we're leaving this base too." You add. Sabik rubs their chin. "I have heard that. Finn is most nervous. He doesn't want to leave. Rey wouldn't be able to find us."   
"She'll find us." Ciro replies, her tone snappy. Her attention goes back to you. "How about Poe? You were alone with each other for three whole days. Almost four." 

Sabik looks out the window a bit forlorn. "Are you okay?" You ask.   
They nod, "I'm happy you're okay. Ciro is right. Rey will find us if we move. How was your vacation?" Vacation sounds like the wrong word, but you don't know what to correct it to.   
"We got closer I suppose. It's always intimate when you meet someone's parent."   
Ciro squeals, causing a peak in the pressure on your temple. You bare a smile until she finishes. "His parents? (A/N)! Why didn't you--"   
"His dad. Ciro, please. Can you be quieter?"   
She frowns, sitting back in her chair. "What about his mom?"   
You shake your head, "She passed away a while ago. I don't know. I don't think I have any right talking about it."   
Your friend brings her legs up to chin. "Oh... I'm sorry. It's just so exciting! What is Mr. Dameron like?" 

You start to smile, the headache subsiding again. "He's nice enough. Wary about the war. I understand though. He fought with the General and the Jedi, though from what I gathered, his mother did more, longer. But he's willing to help us." You smile, adding. "He's a great cook." Your heart suddenly sinks. "We forgot the leftovers!" You toss your pillow to the side, about to stand. It wouldn't have been one of the items top of Poe's list to get out of the Black One anyway, you realize. 

When you settle back, Ciro inquires, "What about your relationship with the Commander?" You bring the pillow back and cover your face. You remember his expression when you first said I love you and when you said it over and over.   
"We're closer." You repeat.   
"How close is close?"   
You know your cheeks flush with heat when you bring the pillow down. "I think I love him."   
They both make sighing noise. "Love?" Sabik asks.   
You nod, biting your lip. There's a knock at the door. You stand, uneasy. It's probably no one but the Commander, wanting to talk.

You look through the peephole and see Finn. He's anxious, eyes darting to the side. You open the door, letting him in wordlessly. He takes in your room, expecting something different. He turns to Sabik. "We _are_ moving." He turns to you, "Welcome back by the way."   
Sabik stands, "Rey will find us if you're worried, friend." They smile. You find yourself gawking at the white freckles and how they seem to shimmer on their nose.   
"That's not all though." Finn crosses his arms, uncomfortable. Ciro eyes him in her usual way, flirtatious yet not interested. It's the first time you're aware of that she's been around him without all of your other friends.   
"I'm going with Poe to get the Black One."   
"He's going back?!" You blurt, irritated.   
"It's not destroyed from what they found. And it's important."   
"We just got back.. Barely alive! Where is he?"   
Finn looks at Sabik who steps in. "My friend... He's doing what he thinks is right."

"He's talking to the general, in the hangar." Ciro stays quiet as you leave, making your way to him.

* * *

He's alone when you get there, looking at the empty spot where the Black One would have been. The hangar is busy around. Sabik and Finn trail you, but don't stop you, though Sabik's eyes bore into your back. "You're going back?" He glances over at you before nodding. "It's important."   
"You're important too." You touch his cheek. "We can get you another X-Wing right?"   
His hand goes to yours. "You should be resting. What if you stress yourself?"   
"You could die... They could have already destroy it!" His lips press against your forehead. You close your eyes briefly.   
"I'll come back."   
"What if--"   
"Trust me, sweetheart." He looks over and sees the duo, trying to look inconspicuous. Wordlessly, he brings your hands to his lips giving your knuckles small pecks. "I love you." He whispers, coming to your ear.   
You still frown. "I love you too. Come back in one piece. Don't you come back again on a stretcher." He chuckles, pulling away when someone calls him. "Stay here."

He goes over, an assistant to Organa, the messenger. Sabik approaches after a moment. "He still is going, right?" You nod. "I want him safe..."   
Your friend's easy smile comes again, "He'll come back." Finn comes, tapping Sabik's shoulder.   
"We should give them some alone time." His eyes lighten, "I bet I can win two out of three bouts."   
"Oh friend! I'll take your bet." They rush away, excitement in their eyes.

Poe returns, running his hand through his hair. "Tonight. We're leaving tonight."   
"Oh..." Your heart sinks. "So soon."   
"Don't worry my dove." His hands go to your hips, bringing you close. He rests his head against yours, though careful of your injury. "I'll always worry, honey." He pushes your head back with his a little catching your lips with his own. Your lips part as his tongue cavorts with yours. His hands rest on your hips and yours rest on his shoulders, gently squeezing before traveling up, messing with the curls at the nape of his neck. He breaks the kiss, "To our spot?" You exhale through your nostrils, nodding.

* * *

"You should get your journal." He says when you settle in the grass. "This could be our last time in our spot and I want to draw your pretty little face."   
"Do we have time for this?" He nods, "I'll make it so." You stand, "I'll be back then." Poe grins as you leave.

The walk seems to take forever. You want to walk back and say, 'Forget drawing,' but he is right. The move is imminent. Ciro is still in your room, playing with her hair. "Oh?" She looks back at you when you enter. "I thought you'd come back earlier. So I stayed."   
"Oh." You gather your journal and pens, making sure you get colored ones. You hesitate, should you take your paints too?   
Ciro raises her eyebrows, "What are you doing?"   
You grab them; it's now or never. "We're going to draw. He's leaving tonight." You respond, getting your small bag from under your desk.   
"Are you going to paint each other?" Her tone is singsongy, teasing.   
"No. I-I don't know." You hide a flustered look. She stretches, getting out of the chair.   
"Feel it out. You don't need my tips anymore now since you 'love' him." 

You leave together, Ciro's arm draping on your shoulders. "Hey. I wanna talk more later. Maybe tomorrow. Before we leave D'Qar. I have something important to say."   
"Important?" You slow, even though you're aware you're probably taking too long.   
"Yeah. I don't want to ruin your last moments with Poe. I can wait."   
You frown, "Ciro."   
She pats your back, "(A/N), don't fret. Go. Before he thinks you ditched him or something."

You watch her go for a few moments before making your way back to Poe. He's not alone, with BB-8 now. They're talking about a game plan. The droid is adamant about coming with. "I don't want you in danger too, buddy." The beeps takes an annoyed tone. "I can manage the Black One on the way back." The beeping continues. "Fine. It'll be a rough mission though. Dangerous."

You sit beside them, emptying your bag. BB-8 rolls over, checking your tools, beeping inquisitively about the paints.   
"We could, try it out. I don't know. Ciro's idea." You flick your eyes to Poe who picks up a brush and checks the bristles.   
"Interesting. It'll make our last moment memorable. Why did you bring so much art utinsels and such in the first place?"   
You shrug, not sure. "My mother and my old mentor suggested it. To kill time." 

You open your journal to a new page, "We don't have to paint though." The commander takes the journal from your hands and starts to sketch. "How's your head?"   
You touch the covered wound. "Better..."   
You watch him work. The droid rolls over to him, also watching. His head rolls up, commenting that it's you he's drawing.   
"That's good. We gotta be careful." He looks up, frowning. "I'm sorry about earlier."   
"You couldn't control that, Poe."   
His eyes lower and he continues with gentle strokes of his pen. "If anything were to happen to you..." His voice is serious.   
"Stop." You touch his shin, squeezing gently. "Nothing happened, besides a small cut."   
He puts the journal to the side, motioning you over. You crawl over to him, before resting in his open arms. 

No one says a word, but your eyes glance at the journal. "You did a good job so far." You comment, your gaze resting on his profile. You smile to yourself, knowing what you'd draw. "Thank you." His lips find your forehead, then pepper your face with feather light kisses. You giggle, tilting your head up to kiss him. The three words leave your lips again, but you mean it every time. 

"I love you too." He chuckles, "I don't think I'll get tired of saying it." BB-8 beeps. According to him, you two have said it a lot over the last hours. "Well I do love them." You sit up, handing him the journal. "Hurry up and finish. I want to draw you."   
He straightens, laughing to himself. "That is something you won't say often." Your eyes widen and you reach to over where you think BB-8 listening ports. "In front of BB-8?" His head swivels up to look at you then Poe. 

Poe grins, shaking his head. "He's fine." You remove your hands and reclining to rest on your elbows. "Stay like that," He says after a moment. 

The sun is high in the sky for mid afternoon, even if it feels like it's moving too quickly. Your eyes lower, thinking of when he would return. Would it be here or would he already be at the new base? He glances up on occasion, meeting your eyes before the rest of you.   
"What are you thinking about?" You toss your head back, more hesitant than ever. You clench your fists and sigh, "How much I can't wait to hold you when you return." It isn't a lie, but it's not the full truth either.   
"You can hold me now, baby."   
Your heart jumps at the pet name, the way he said it. "You're drawing me. I wanna be surprised."   
He rolls his eyes, "Whatever you like." 

BB-8 turns his head, hearing something away from you two. He beeps and heads off, before returning seconds later. He beeps to you, almost in whisper (if droids could whisper), a small request and then leaves again. He wants you to paint the Yavin sunset so he can show Rey when she comes back. You smile to yourself, watching the artist work. 

He crawls over to you once he completes the piece, showing off his work. He's drawn a smile on. You're much happier in his art, with your hair billowing in a nonexistent wind. You kiss his forehead, "It's lovely." You take the pen from his hand, turning the page for your turn. He settles his head on your shoulder, idly observing as you start a profile piece, him from earlier. 

His arms wrap around your waist and he sighs. "Will you teach art classes at my academy?" He asks, peering up at you.   
You wink, "I didn't know they had art classes at flight academies." You pause, thinking of an answer. "No. I think I'd want to do something else. I can teach history and science."   
His lips graze your chin and jaw, then nibbling your ear. "My little know-it-all." A shiver dances down your spine, a coquettish smirk on your lips as he starts to suck on the skin.   
"I..."   
You barely hold the pen correctly, starting to tremble. You close your eyes for a moment, getting lost in the feeling, before laughing.   
"I won't be able to finish if you do this." He removes his mouth, returning his head.   
"Fine." You tighten your grip on your drawing utensil and continue. You remember when he didn't have to touch you to make your heart race and get you flustered.

While you draw, Poe starts talking about his academy. "I've been thinking a lot about it. I think I'd want it to be small at first, so I can control it. But then, I'd want it to be the biggest, most prestigious academy to exist." He frowns, "It's a very complicated wish, ya see."   
You smile as you start his lips. "Of course."   
He continues, wanting the foods to be a mixture of field food and exquisite courses. The thought of food makes your stomach rumble, but he doesn't hear and you're grateful. 

You finish, ending on his hair, tousled from a very long day. He admires it from your shoulder before taking the booklet from your hands. "You make me more handsome than I am." The pilot smiles, closing it.   
"You make me more attractive too Poe." He looks offended, but doesn't retort. 

A content silence falls on you as you settle back in his embrace. The day is warm enough, different from Yavin and the humid atmosphere. You close your eyes, hearing his heartbeat. He rests his chin on your head, sighing. "I don't know if I'll be coming back to this base." His voice is soft. You cringe, your early thoughts being proved true. "There's a mechanic with the parts needed at the new base. If that's the case, I'll pull some strings so you can come as soon as possible."   
"You don't have to do that." You didn't want special treatment because he's your lover. "Are you sure?"   
You nod, looking up at him. "What you can do for me is stay alive and be safe." 

"I can do that."   
"You better." 

He laughs quietly, "The new base is bigger. Do you think we can be roommates?" You roll your eyes at the suggestion. "What about you and Finn?"   
"Finn would want Rey to be his roommate." You imagine them staying up all night, catching up. Rey telling stories about becoming a Jedi, Finn's stories about training with Sabik and learning what knitting is and Rey teaching him different things. 

"We'll see." The idea surprises you, to be honest. Sharing a room in Yavin was cherished. You liked waking up and seeing him, even if he woke up too early. You also appreciated being held. But there is something special too, here on D'Qar, sleeping alone and not sharing a room. He doesn't see you at your worst all the time, and neither do you him. 

The man relaxes back, you going down with him. "Let's take a nap. Right here."   
You sit up, looking at him like a wild man. "Sleep?"   
He nods, closing his eyes. "I'm exhausted, love."   
"In the grass?" He nods again, but slower, sleepier. "What if someone comes by?"   
"Then they'll come. C'mon, it's been such a long day." 

You lie beside him, feeling the warmth of the sun even more now. Rolling on your side, you stare at him, checking to see if he actually would fall asleep. Poe's calm now, all the earlier stress falling away. His chest rises and falls like normal, his hand on his stomach. He opens one eye, staring back at you. "I can feel you ogling me."   
"I am not!" You settle on his chest, shaking your head. "I was seeing if you'd actually go to sleep."   
His arms rest around you. "I'm trying."   
He takes a deep breath before settling back in his calm from earlier. You try it yourself, feeling the prick of the dark grass beneath you and hearing conversations from far away as well as people and droids working in the hangar. Before you know it, you join him in slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading~


	39. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad dreams right off the bat followed by Poe's departure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it gets dark really fast. But sorta lightens up? Sorta.  
> Prompt fill from forever ago. (i'll get to all of them eventually lol)  
> 16\. “Wake up. Please. I’m scared.”

Burning, the smoke fills your nostrils and you wake in your room, startled. Across the room is your roommate, knees to their chest murmuring native words, a prayer. "We have to get out!" You yell, throwing the covers off your body and quickly using your tossed jacket as a cover for your mouth.   
"It's too late!" They cry, hopeless, "We're doomed to the dark side!" They return to their prayer, covering their face. 

For a moment, you stare, your gaze burning just like flames that crawl at your door. "I'm not dying today." You assert, going to the door. The knob is sweltering but you ignore the pain, trying to escape. Your roommate shouts for you to stop, but the door bursts open, knocking you back against your dresser. 

Dazed, you stand, seeing the fire crawl inside. What happened while you were sleeping? You run past, the heat seeping through your shoes. Around, people are in the same position as your roommate, praying while others lie on the ground, their fate made for them. One of your friends is among them, Ciro's roommate. There's a gash, brutal dark burgundy in her chest. The fire wasn't the cause of her demise. Your heart sinks, but you can't stop and mourn. The exit isn't far off and you need to get out before you suffocate. 

The doors won't budge when you push on them. You use most of your energy pushing on them. There had to be a way out. You brace yourself, rushing back to your room. Your roommate is standing, putting their blanket on the ground, to cover the fire. It's a smart idea, but the cover is flammable and they scream in terror stomping it out. 

"You're back?" You nod, feeling faint as you bring the jacket from your mouth. "I'm breaking the window." Your roommate's eyes widen, but they don't hesitate in handing you their lamp. You throw it against the glass, seeing it crack. "We need something more." The flames dance still at the entrance, slowing creeping it.   
"What happened?" You ask, keeping your questions short as you grab your paint kit. They'd help the crack. "First Order. That's all I..." They start coughing, hard. You've been keeping yours down with slow breaths, coughing only a bit. 

"We won't make it (A/N)." You stand on your desk and start knocking on the crack with the paint jar. The crack widens and your roommate goes to their bed. "I hate fire." They say once their coughing subsides. You grab their lamp once more and try again, this time with a successful shattering of glass. "We're getting out." You crawl out, ignoring the glass around, the sharp shards digging into your skin as you escape. 

Outside is no better. It's a battlefield, blaster fire coming from both sides, smoke coming from everywhere. Behind you, your roommate is out, trying to stay hidden. Neither one of you is a fighter. Afar, you make out Sabik, a warrior with their shield and blaster. The shield is First Order, and they make good use of it. Ciro is nearby with what looks like kitchen knives. If they get too close to Sabik, she throws them, with better aim than you expect. You watch in amazement, before noticing that a group of storm troopers are near. Before they shoot, they're cut down. Rey comes around the corner, her eyes wild. "Get out of here!" In your hands, she gives you a small blaster. 

It takes a moment before you register what her words are. When did she get here? Your hand clasps on the weapon. Your roommate is already running towards the hangar and you follow behind. If an enemy starts to close in on you, you start shooting. Your aim is off, never shooting anything before, but they don't get a chance to shoot you two. 

The freighter is full as you two approach the hangar, but you two rush on. The people on are mostly kitchen staff and other personnel. You feel cowardly, but they all sit and close their eyes, praying. Everyone is praying. The aircraft gets ready to fly, but it's rocked by blasts. The cook wails, swaying in her seat. You and your roommate are on the ground, landing on your faces. It makes no difference now, the pain. You're both soot covered with blood from the broken glass. 

The pilot, an older man you don't recall seeing before, shakes his head. "I don't know if we'll be able to fly." Everyone around starts cursing, the person nearest the door, checks to see if it's locked. "I can't fix it from the inside. And it's dangerous to leave."   
"Sounds like excuses! Do it." The cook demands, the staff agreeing. 

You frown as they force him out. His cries are horrendous mixed with the blaster fire. You're upset, covering your ears. Your roommate sucks their teeth. "No we're not getting out period. Might as well just line up for them." 

You stand, going to the back, where there's a window. You freeze. A tall dark figure is in the back, near the Black One, and Poe and what looks like the General are facing it. You clutch the weapon in your hand and you weigh your options. You're only a nurse, a volunteer. You've never fired a blaster before today, but you had a few good hits. The figure turns around, seeing someone you can't. 

You're straining, wish you could hear, but know leaving is a death sentence. Screaming from the inside make you turn. They're on the ship now. Your heart races. They'll come back and shoot everything, kill you. You look around, is there a hiding spot? Somewhere? You see a hideaway on the ground and open the trap. It's snug, but you'll make it fit. You have no other choice. 

Inside, it's dark and you try to control your trembling and hard breathing. Above, you hear the shots being fired, more death. You cover your ears again, only briefly. You need to hear if they come to you. Footsteps are everywhere and then are on your head. You hold your breath, feeling tears stream down your face. You hope Poe knows you really love him. You meant it all those times. The storm trooper above you leaves and you hear a distorted voice. "All clear." 

Your heart skips a few beats as you hear the door close. You're the only survivor, that you know of, on this freighter. You press up on the floor and it comes up silently. For a moment, you stay in the cramped space because you're unsure. What will you do once you get out? Certain death is still waiting. You pull yourself out and quietly creep into the main room seeing the massacre. 

You pull yourself together, now couldn't be the time for a breakdown. Your roommate is on their back, shot too many times. You wipe your face, sniffling before seeing a bigger blaster. It belongs to the ship. You'll need it. You grab the weapon before checking the outside. Sabik is there, guarding what looks to be Finn and Rey. They both wield light sabers; Finn's blue and Rey's green. Ciro is there too, upgraded to a baton, still lethal as ever. The dark figure faces them, the weapon he uses tells you it's Kylo Ren. You can't see Poe or General Organa, but hope to the makers that they are safe. Before you go, you find the aid kit and tie it to your waist. Makers knows you'll need it.

After you take a few deep breaths, you rush out. Outside to greet you are a pack of storm troopers, but with your combined, almost failed, efforts with your friends, they are out. They both look surprised to see you, as if knowing what has happened inside. The three Jedis don't turn to you and you run to your friends, wanting to collapse in their arms. That's not an option. 

"Poe." You say bewildered. "Alive. Barely." You curse at the update. "I don't even know why this is happening." You wipe your forehead. "It's a long story, friend. And we don't have that time." Sabik replies, seeing more of the white soldiers. "I hope you can aim." You ready yourself, but feel yourself shaking as you bring the heavy weapon to fire.

Once they're taken care of, you see Finn is struggling with the Knight of Ren. Sabik's quick to their feet, and goes to interfere. Rey is on the offensive, going to attack from behind. Finn goes down hard, but doesn't wince for a moment, quickly rising before Kylo brings his light saber down to where he once lie. The man senses Sabik and pushes them back into Ciro. Ciro cries on in agony, her arm in an awkward position. Broken. You go to her aid, opening the kit as Sabik rolls off, dazed. "I'm so sorry..." Ciro continues to cry as the warrior, tries again, this time not head on as Kylo Ren has brought his attention to Rey, Finn flanking left. 

Your fingers tremble as you set her arm in regular position. She screams as you do, and you try to hush her, but there's no point. You take your jacket and wrap it tight around her arm, to set it. Once this was over, a proper doctor could help her. Ciro nods to her baton. "I won't be able to now... (A/N)..." She winces and lies back. "Don't let me die." You nod, "I won't." You wish you could be more serious with your promise. 

You don't know what happened, but when you turn, you see Kylo Ren, a gash across his mask, and Finn standing in front of an injured Rey. Sabik is nowhere to be seen. "You're just a failed storm trooper! You don't deserve that saber." The voice is threatening, and you suddenly feel a tug, around your neck. You're choking, but how? "Your 'friends' are weak. Easily crushed. Look, I'll show you." 

Quicker now, your hands now on your neck as you struggle, your neck now rests in his gloved hand. "No!" The shout isn't from Finn, but Poe. You should have stayed inside the freighter, though it probably now reeked of death and laser fire. You wouldn't be in the hands of the enemy. With his other hand, he paralyzes the running Commander. His grip on you is tighter. 

Finn stands, angry. "I'm no storm trooper. I'm a Jedi!" He strikes, and Kylo flings you to the ground. You take a moment, holding your neck as you realize you're alive barely. They're at it again, but you can't focus. You're breathing hard not sure why he didn't kill you instantly. 

Poe's still paralyzed when you look up. You start to crawl, aware of the stalemate between Finn and Ren. His eyes meet yours, but only for a moment. You stand, ignoring the pain in your legs. If you were to die, at least you were with Poe. Suddenly, a fierce sharpness goes through your stomach. You blink quickly before you realize what happened. More tears rush down your cheeks. It leaves, and you fall forward on to Poe. Your grips weakens every second, but you try your hardest. "I love you." You whisper, before coughing blood. He strains his eyes away and you crumple down, seeing only darkness.

* * *

You wake in a start, touching your cheeks, frightened that you cried in real life. Was this the afterlife? You look to your side and see a sleeping Poe in the grass. Without thinking, you touch his cheek, murmuring, "Wake up. Please wake up... I'm so scared." His hand slowly goes to yours and a sleepy smile plays on his lips. He didn't hear you, but he's real.   
This is real, you tell yourself, repeatedly as the image of the commander trying to look away from your death sears in your mind. He rolls over, grass and dirt clinging to his clothes and hair. He's half awake, sighing. "Is it time for us to get up already?" You wipe your cheeks, hoping he didn't see the stray tears. 

"You okay?" Poe sits up, holding your chin in his hand. "You were crying?" You sniff, looking away. "Really bad dream." You wipe your eyes again with the back your hand. You can't meet his eyes. He lets go and touches your shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" You consider for a moment. It's just a nightmare you wish to never happen in the future, all nonsense. 

"The First Order came. attacked. I..." Your voice trails, hands going to your stomach, the fatal wound. His brow furrows, leaning forward to listen. "He killed me. And everyone! You... You were alive still." "Well." He looks pained as he brings you into an embrace. "It was just a dream." He murmurs into your hair, his hand gently smoothing it out. A wave of relief over comes you when you don't feel more tears spill from your tired eyes. 

Tiny beeps from his droid interrupt the hug, though he doesn't let you go. "We're awake now." BB-8 is behind him as he preps the commander on what to expect when they land. First Order occupies the planet, but not for very long. They are expected to leave before they arrive. More pressing news has taken their time. "That's good, I hope at least."   
You bury your face in his shirt, taking in his scent and warmth. "Is Finn ready?" He beeps in affirmation. "Then I say, let's go now. What's the point of waiting?" You look up, frowning. The nightmare still lingers, whether you like it or not. You rather not be alone. He kisses your head and then begins his butterfly kisses around your face. You stifle a laugh as he gets to your lips. 

When he pulls away, his expression is almost serious. "I'll come back victorious." 

He stands first, brushing the grass and whatever else off him, offering you his hand. You take it and brush yourself off as well, hiding your disappointment. He kneels to BB-8. "Go get Finn. I'll meet you at the hangar, okay buddy?" The droid begins to roll off, orders in place.   
He turns to you when he stands again. "Are you going to be alright?" You cross your arms, uncertain. "It'll take me a minute to shake this." He nods understanding. "I'll be back before you know it. You can tell me more about it later. Only if you want to." Poe starts to back up, making his way to the hangar. "Okay." He's now facing the hangar, walking brisk to beat his droid and friend there.

Your eyes flutter, matching the butterflies that rest in the pit of your stomach at this question you want to ask. You nibble your lip, suddenly embarrassed. You shout his name, getting glances from passerby. He jogs back, face full of worry. "Is everything okay? Are you alright, love?" His hands rest on your cheeks, tilting your face up, checking to see if you resumed crying. 

You nod, feeling the heat rush to your face. "I-I-I'm fine." You stammer, meeting his eyes for a second before looking away.   
He lets go of your face, straightening. "You called my name."   
Your flustered nature sets in and you take a deep breath to calm yourself. "Can I maybe walk you there?"   
A warm friendly smile washes over his face. "Of course you can." His hand embraces yours. "This is a much better option than running back. Alone, at least." 

You quickly kneel, gathering your art supplies in your bag. Standing, you feel the nag of anxiety. You're delaying him from his mission. He still holds the grin, taking your hand again. Neither of you say a word on the way to the hangar. He keeps an easy smile nonetheless whenever you glance at him. "I hope we do come back to D'Qar. I'd hate for this to be the last time I see you."   
You look up alarmed. "Last time?" 

He chuckles, "The last time here anyway. If it is, you have to remember all the things I want you to tell me. I won't remember if we're at a new base. I'll have too many responsibilities." Poe sighs, "I have too many responsibilities..." He gently squeezes your hand, slowing. "Can you do that for me, (A/N)?"   
You answer right away. "I'll try my best." He brings your hand to his lips, pressing his lips against the back. "That's all I ask."

The hangar is buzzing with energy. Finn and BB-8 aren't there yet, but they're prepping a freighter, another pilot will be going to take it back while Poe takes his X-Wing back. You two stand by, watching, adding to your early thoughts of wasting his time. His arm is around your waist, his thumb making patterns on your back. A small glance to you lets you know it's another game to decipher. 

"You should help." You reply, seeing Finn in the distance. The pilot pouts, only for a few seconds. "I'll come back." The words send shivers down your spine as you separate. You're still tired, the restless nap gave you no satisfaction.   
"I'll be waiting." You respond, hoping he return would be to D'Qar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mhm thanks for reading :)


	40. Tatooine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciro's got something to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating for a few weeks! i don't know why this chapter was hard to write lol

Every time he goes, you want him to come back. You never knew if he would be back in one piece. The memory of him so injured just months before haunts you. Though you have some sort of confidence that you wouldn't be sick again. You would be strong and stay by his side. But he'd come back victorious and unharmed. He had to. You lose track of time staring at the ceiling, nonetheless. Your roommate doesn't come at all. That's not unusual to you, especially on missions. 

Your eyes tear away from your melodramatic worrying when there's a knock at the door. You half expect to see him there, a cheerful smirk on his face. "I wasn't going to be long." He'd say. And you'd hug him and keep him near you for as long as you could. 

Instead your blonde friend is there with her bag. "Figured you might need a buddy for the night." You can't hide your disappointment as you fake a smile. "Oh, Ciro. Thanks for thinking of me." 

She puts her bag near your bed and then climbs on, resting on the pillows. "You missed dinner, so I brought you one of my rations." You probably slept through that with Poe. "It's fine." You sit beside her, and sigh. 

"You act like he is going to be out for a very long time." She snorts, crossing her arms.   
"He could take a very long time if the mission needs to be lengthened. Some people don't see their significant others for weeks. And then only see each other for like a few hours! I don't want to be like that." You tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 

"That's the reality of this war." Her tone is cold as she sits up. "You know there's a war going on right?"   
You grimace. "I'm aware, Ciro." 

Your friend reaches down for her bag and hands you the ration. "Good. Because I have to tell you something." You hold the plastic in your hand. "You'll take it better when you've got something on your stomach." You laugh to yourself, flicking your eyes up to her. "Thanks mother." 

While you eat, she talks about other things, what happened when you were on Yavin. Idly, Ciro plays with her hair, eyes traveling the room. She's nervous, but won't tell you why. Yet. Her roommate flirted with Finn, unsuccessfully. Sabik intervened. Now there's a small rife in your friend group. You wonder if that's why it was just Ciro and Sabik earlier. Other than that, nothing else has happened, except for whatever Ciro wants to share with you.

"Did anything else happen with you and Poe that you didn't share earlier?" Her eyebrow waggles and you laugh. "No."

You pause, remembering your dream. You did write that down before you got caught up in thinking of your pilot boyfriend. "I had the craziest dream though!" You share the details, eyes widening when you bring up her and the skills she somehow possessed. "No way. I can barely hurt an insect. How can I go around stabbing people? And Finn a Jedi? I thought Rey was the Jedi."   
"They both had light sabers... I've only seen them in pictures." You say before shaking your head. "Dying was so scary. Kylo Ren was terrifying."   
"Sounds like it." Ciro's eyes go to your empty ration. "How did it happen with you and him anyway? Was it really like you said?" 

You nod, it all feeling like a distant memory now. "I don't know why I would lie... He did gave him a ration before. I got to sit next to him too." You roll your eyes with a small giggle. "I was so excited and nervous. And kept looking at his arms."   
"He's got nice ones I suppose." Ciro shrugs.   
"What was it that you want to tell me?" You didn't like walking around the subject with her. You knew from experience that she could ignore the subject all together.

It's her turn to be flustered. She avoids your eyes again. "Remember growing up? And how we'd never separate?" Your frown, fearing where this is headed. "I'm going to Tatooine."   
Your heart sinks, tears rushing to your eyes. "Tatooine? What for? What about the Resistance, the cause? The war?"   
"I'm going for the Resistance."   
"Is that where the new base is?" 

She furrows her brow, that's the wrong question. "No." She reaches in her pocket, and pulls out a worn paper. "My sister wrote me about what's been happening there. We don't have a strong presence there for some reason... But the people want to help! I told the General and she said I could go. I have family there. I'm not going alone."   
"Who else is going?" You try to keep your frustrations low. You didn't want her to go. She's all you have left. Yes, you have Poe but he's too important to stay for long. Ciro's been there since as long as you can remember.   
"A Lieutenant and maybe a Major. We've been scoping out for a few months now. There's not any First Order around and it just seems so right."

You both are silent as you digest the news. "We can write." Her voice is soft, her face now stony faced. "That's what I did with my sister." You nod slow, and exhale, shakily. "I'll come back, you know that. When this is all over... Me and you will be back together again."   
Her head rests on your shoulder. "It'll be so worth it, when the war is over." She sits up, getting lost in the future. "Poe won't have to go out anymore. You two could visit me as much as you wanted. With BB-8 and," The girl chuckles, "maybe I'll find myself a nice moisture farmer and we'll be so happy and in love it'll make you and your man sick."   
"A moisture farmer? Ciro you don't like physical hard work."   
"She'd be worth it. I'd have to be strong for my wife too."   
You roll your eyes, wiping them as well. "I don't want you to leave me." 

"I'm not, well not yet. We leave in a few days." 

She lies back on your pillows and you lie beside her. "I hope I don't cry." She whispers. "I haven't seen my sister for a while..."   
"But you two at least alive and sort of close with letters." She nods, her hand meeting yours. "Yeah." 

You both roll and face each other. She makes a face resting her hand on your cheek. "Let's talk about something else, (A/N). I'm emotionally exhausted."   
"So dramatic." You reply, taking her hand from your face.   
"Has he spent the night in here?"   
"So quick to ask about my relationship with Poe."   
"It gives me hope. So pure, so nice. Plus you don't tell me anything anyway."

You remember the one time he did, before he left, before his accident. "He has."   
You enjoy her reaction, sitting up, and resting her hand on your arm. "Did you two do anything?" She lowers her voice as she adds, "Was your roommate in here?"   
"We slept. Ciro. I don't ask if you questions about your intimate life."   
"Your defensiveness is enough for me to know that something happened. Was that your first-"   
Your face heats as you try to ignore her questions. She stops, lying back down. 

"Does he truly make you happy though?" You nod, watching as her slender hands messes with your hair. "I feel so special with him. At first I thought he was just nice. Until he kissed me. But even then... I do love him, not going to lie."   
"But even then what? Does he do things that make you question him?" You shake your head down and her hand comes to your cheek again, as if to calm you.   
"I just miss him. And worry about him. He could die..."   
"He won't." She smiles before kissing your forehead. 

"I can't wait for this." She says after a moment. "I want someone to love me like you him. I can't speak on his behalf since I don't know him, but I bet he's grateful to have you."   
"That was sweet of you to say." You reply as she scoots towards you and rests her head on your chest. "It'll be beautiful."

You nod agreeing. "Whoever has you will be lucky too." She lifts her head, showing off a smile. "Thanks. It means a whole lot." 

Neither of you say anything. You're not sure what to say and she seems taken with the idea of someone loving her like you love Poe. "Hey, (A/N)."   
"Hmm?"   
"Have you ever in the X-Wi-"   
"Stop." 

She starts giggling, burying her face in your shirt. "I had to ask. There's not a lot of room in there you know!"   
"I'm very aware." You attempt to peel her arms from your sides but she holds on tighter, laughing harder.   
"Do you think he'd want to in-" You talk over her, singing some old song from the Republic, the anthem. 

When you two finally settle down, you're exhausted. Today has been so long. "Are you spending the night?" You ask. She nods, sitting up. "If you have me." "Okay." 

Once you two have settled in your sleeping clothes, you rest in your bed. The night silence is too much for you. "I'll miss you so much Ciro." She wraps her arms around you again. "You too, my dearest friend." 

A few more moments pass before she chats you up about old memories, life back in Hosnian Prime and family. You will definitely miss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading~


	41. New Base

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader moves bases.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they'll probably move bases in swviii right? idk im just guessing, making things up. we'll see what happens next year.

You hold on to your bag, your backpack--Poe's backpack, pressed hard against the seat. Flying is easy when he's there, but he's not. They picked up a new mission. The locals tipped them for something bigger. A secret mission again. But at least he had his Black One from what others gossiped. You look around for the hundredth time at the medics and some kitchen staff. They're guessing where you're headed. You're the second group that's left. Pilots, fighters, and volunteers are left, still there in case danger comes. You count your breaths, feeling a wave of nausea coming back. At least this time you were around people specialized in sickness. 

The land is smooth, and the chatter comes to a quick halt. Everyone is waiting to hear what's next, what the base looks like. Who else is here? The door opens and a Resistance soldier comes on. "Welcome! We're happy you're here and alive!" They've got a big smile on their ruddy face, and their hair is under a hat. They look a bit flustered too, but you can tell if it's because they're excited. 

"We're a little behind with room assignments, but it's fine." Their eyes scan you all. "So many medics. We'll need them! We're a bigger base, by design, but not as packed!" A voice outside makes them stop. "Okay. You can leave this ship now. There's a few soldiers with papers. Room assignments, I think." They leave and everyone stands. 

You wobble, your legs getting used to moving again. You're one of the first off, close to the door. The base is hidden, like D'Qar, at least the hangar is. But it's cooler, it just rained. You walk over to a smiling woman. "Name?" You tell her, trying to get a glimpse of the base behind. She gives you a number and a key and pats your back. "So good to have you!" 

Everyone is so nice, you think as you leave, also repeating the number in your head. The walk to the hangar is covered, unlike D'Qar. The walkway has large windows, and you see the environment. Dark trees with lush foliage and is that a body of water in the distance? You don't linger, afraid you'll forget the number. Your bag grows heavy on your back. It's filled with nothing but journals and some of your utensils and clothes. 

At the end, it opens up, still the top covered. In the middle is a sitting area, like the canteen. A few people are there, idly talking. They don't notice the coming people and you look at the halls leading away. They're clearly marked and you go down the one for the rooms. Your walk isn't far, though it feels that way as you find yourself still looking out. There are so many windows. You realize the base is high up. You wonder why as you reach your room. 

You clumsily fumble with the lock until it opens. You hope that if you have a roommate, it's Poe. But there's a guy on the other bed, looking nervous but expectant. He stands quickly. "Oh! Hello! You're really early! And you're..." He frowns. "Human." You furrow your brow as you close the door. "I'm sorry?"   
"Nothing wrong with being human. I'm human, but..." His voice trails off again. "Doesn't matter now. I'm (H/N)." He sticks his hand out as you place your bag of clothes on your bed. The layout is similar but you don't have a window above like before.

You shake his hand, firm. He smiles, impressed at your grip. "(A/N)." He repeats it, the smile more thoughtful. "Are you a nurse?" You nod, sitting down. The bed is firm, like before. You stare at his wall. He has medical pages and posters.   
"Same. Though, I'm planning on becoming a doctor soon." He lies back in his bed. "It's a draw back though that the Republic was destroyed. I did my studies there, before..." He sighs, "But I have my books. And the doctors are understanding."   
You listen, though idly. Your eyes wander, taking in this new atmosphere. He continues talking. You bet Ciro would like him, and you could already hear the rest of your friends with their hopeful whispers. 

He sits up. "I'm sorry for talking about just me. You're a fellow nurse, yes? Did you study for it?"   
You frown, "No. My brother did."   
"Oh?"   
"I know enough though. I came as a volunteer."   
He nods, wanting you to continue. "It's better than doing odd jobs." He chuckles, shaking his head. "Of course." He leans forward, "What about D'Qar?"   
"What about it?" 

"Was it busy? Were you a nurse for the storm trooper?"   
You nod, "Finn."   
"Finn... I like it. Is he as brave as they say?"   
You nod again, "I'd say so."   
"Will he be coming here too?" 

You hesitate before answering. He should be, D'Qar unreliable. "I think? He's with Poe-Commander Dameron right now." The mention of the pilot makes the boy smile wider. "Commander Poe Dameron? Did you know him?"   
_More than I'm willing to share. _, You think, bearing a smile. "Of course."  
He raises his eyebrows. "Really? I heard his flying is something. So extraordinary!"   
You nod, "He's very talented." __

__"Wonder if he fliess other people around. I'd love to fly with him." He winks and then goes to his desk. You narrow your eyes at his back. You don't want to be a jealous lover, but here you are. "He doesn't fly anyone around." You reply quick.  
"Oh?"   
"Yeah, not enough space. It'd be cramped." He turns, holding one of his medical journals. "I don't take up much space, so I'm told."   
"Still. I don't think he'd want to."   
"How do you know?" _ _

__You pause. How could you say this without sounding overprotective? "I've heard rumors. Seen the inside of an X-Wing in passing. Not enough space for two people." Your mind betrays your lie as it plays the memories of just a week or so prior, kissing his cheek sleepily before you decided to take a nap, just before the TIE attack._ _

__You missed him terribly._ _

__"You're defensive." He notes, walking to the door. "Well, I won't keep you from getting settled. I'll be in medbay." You sigh, trying to regain yourself. Dammit. He knows something is up, and will get to the bottom of it sooner or later._ _

__You can't let that get you down however. The room is bigger than the one back on D'Qar. Windowless however. You stand, pulling clothes from bag. It wasn't much, your uniform, sleep and under clothes. Your hand me downs were still in his Black One. You doubt you'd see them again. You put your sleep clothes away, humming to yourself. You can't place the tune exactly, but it calms you._ _

__Once everything is settled, you take your journal and decide to explore the base while you still could. You let your eyes wander this time, taking in the wild nature through the clear windows. It hits you only now as to why it's above ground with so many windows. From above and around, you can't see it. It blends in with the surrounding nature. The base is just as hidden as before._ _

__You're back at the center, wondering the shape the base is in as you check the signs above hallways. You go down one hallway blindly, opening your journal. Yo hadn't written since before Poe was injured. Your last entry is anxious, hoping the man you adored was okay. 'It's been too long. He never takes more than a day.' You smile, knowing he wasn't okay now, but that was so long ago. He's fine so far, you tell yourself. You didn't know again, but had hope and a promise that he'd come back. Unharmed._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading~ :")  
> interesting stuff maybe coming next chapter eventually.


	42. Baby Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader meets Captain Karé Kun and misses Poe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote the first part like months ago, but just had to write to it.  
> also i gave the new roommate a name, altair. i like star related names lol

The new base is pristine. That's all you could say about it. It's hidden like D'Qar, but not as green. It's more jungle, which contrasts greatly from the modern tech the Resistance uses. You spend most of your time checking files again and helping the doctors as everyone adjusts. You keep yourself busy remembering the sunset on Yavin with Poe and BB-8 and trying to draw it. You promised both of them that you would sketch it out, at least.

A woman puts her helmet down in front of you at the desk as you try to get the mountain just right. Her skin is tanned, darker than Poe's, but her smile is somehow more radiant with almond shaped dark eyes. "You're from D'Qar right?" She asks, her voice deeper than you expect. You nod, putting the sketch book away.

"It's a shame. Hopefully they'll leave that planet alone. I've been there a few times, but it's a very pretty place. I wouldn't want to leave. Here, we have the worst insects." She rolls her eyes. You wonder if she came to complain about this planet's atmosphere. "I'm Karé Kun." She adds, putting her hand out. You shake it firmly, trying to be polite. Her eyes linger on you for a moment before she rests her arms on the helmet.  
"Do you know Poe Dameron?" You perk up at his name, though in her eyes, you're probably one of the many who lust after him.

"Heard he's been really busy, him and that storm trooper. Former storm trooper, forgive me. It's been a whirl hearing about it. You must know something, since you were at D'Qar." You nod, nervous. If she wants the full information, she could just ask her superiors. "What was it like? Here it was busy, but the main base!"  
You scratch your cheek, thinking of your time spent on the old Resistance base. "There was always something to do. I came as a volunteer... But they put me as a permanent nurse when--" You pause.  
Karé's glancing off to the side, listening and playing with the tail ends of her braids, the other hand rests on her chin blasé. You catch yourself admiring her. "When what?"  
You look away when she brings her gaze to you. "I had to take care of y-your Commander when he was injured." She cocks her head to the side, a cheeky smirk coming to her lips.

"You took care of Dameron? Huh, I've never heard of personal nurses in the Resistance."

Your face heats, and her hot stare sears into your being. You keep your eye contact low, staring at desk. "Don't be shy now. I'll find out from him eventually. Did he initiate it? I never expected him to get into a relationship during this _trying_ time." You glance up only briefly, darting your eyes everywhere but on the pilot in front of you.

"Mutual." You respond, remembering awkward drawings and confessions in the dark, the kisses on that strange planet.

"Good." She pats the desk. "It's not that hard for him to like someone. But to start a true relationship." Karé sighs, "You must be so lucky."

You nod sheepishly as Kun's smile widens. "Anyway, you said you are a volunteer turned nurse? That's not a bad gig. Volunteers are still on D'Qar am I correct?" You nod again. She shrugs. "It's safer here. Or on the other bases." She tsks, "A shame we gotta move around whenever the First Order finds us. Anyway, tell me more about you and Poe. How did you get him?"

You don't know if you want to share all the information. It's all old news to you now. "Talking and stuff." You shrug, hearing the door open. It's C3PO and an R4 unit. "Ah, Captain Kun. The General has a few notes she wants to go over with the captains."  
She nods and gives you a small wave. "We'll talk later." The other droid beeps at her and she grins, taking her helmet.

Alone again, you begin to draw again, this time on a different mountain. You remember being overwhelmed with the space stretched out with the looming planet Yavin and the other moons and looking over at the Commander who was equally awestruck as his arms rested around his droid.

You stop with a small sigh. You miss him. The medbay is quiet now since injuries here were minimal to small cuts. You grab the small communicator and for a second think of dialing him. You put it back, figuring he needed all his attention for his mission. A doctor walks by and smiles, "You can go if you like. You look so bored." You touch your cheek a bit embarrassed. "Thank you." You didn't want to look bored.

You take a different route back to your room, clutching your journal. You're not ready to go to your room, and Sabik hasn't arrived yet. You think about going to the hangar, but know no one you want to see is there. The base hums with activity nonetheless, people sitting around, discussing plans while others ran information to others. You wish your job was that exciting when you find an open table. You thumb through your journal, trying to find the landscape when you stop on the drawing of Finn. You forgot to give it to him, but then see his doodles next to it. You couldn't give it to Finn with that in the margins. You cover your head out of slight embarrassment, remembering that night. Oh the tunic! If only he had kissed you that night...

Sitting up, you scratch your head, flipping through idle sketches of Poe, BB8, your friends and family, until you get to the mountains. It'd look better with color, you tell yourself as you pick up your pen and continue.

* * *

Altair snores when he's had a long day. That's what he tells you anyway. You're not buying it and find yourself waking, with each loud rumble. You miss your old roommate, how quiet they were. You sit up, knowing sleep wouldn't come soon. You finished your drawing, but didn't have time to color it. As soon as your finished, someone came to get you. Not that medbay needed you, but they had questions about your 'training.' All you did now was learn about the equipment and share books with Altair on learning about the bodies that you would see. It's boring, but keeps you busy.

You couldn't color it now, having no lights. So you open your diary, hidden under your pillow and begin writing. Your words mush together as you try to piece how you're feeling. You're tired, so tired, wanting to sleep and also want to get whatever danced in your head out. You missed Poe. A lot. It's been longer than you imagined. A few days okay, but it's been weeks, a few months. Reports coming from the squadron let you know that someone is still alive, they're well with resources. You sometimes ponder if they're another base, like Ciro. You don't ask anyone however. It's just a thought that comes to you from time to time. If he was on another base, they would have told you. He would have made them. Your hand scribbles your words down, racing to catch up with your sleepy brain.

When he comes back, you want to give him a long tight hug, rest your head in the crook of his neck, maybe his chest, listen to his heartbeat. And the 'I missed yous' all the sappy sayings your friends thought cheesy. You wouldn't care in the moment, the words feeling sincere and right.

Your hand slows and your eyes drift close. You scrunch your nose up, trying to wake up. No, you had to stay up a little long, finish this thought. You wonder if he's thinking of you and what he thinks about you, again. You remember how he once said you were a naive kid, but you were honest enough. You rest back, remembering his eyes lowering to his cup, his arms resting on the wooden table. Warmth surrounds the memory, the drink going down. You focus on his smile before falling asleep.

* * *

You wake up in a start. The rain is heavy today, a steady thumping from above. A crack of thunder shakes your room slightly. Altair is up, but reading from his medical book. "It's been raining for a while. So hard... Good thing we're high up. Imagine the flooding." He shakes his head before resuming to his book. You sit up, remembering your sleepy writings. You open to the now wrinkled pages to incoherent scribbles. You make out Poe's name multiple times, but the other words intertwine and otherwise intelligible. You laugh to yourself. You really thought you were saying something last night. You close the journal and get ready for the day.

* * *

You sat in the back rooms with Altair and another nurse, Nanu. You were all considered too new to be handling anything serious. There wasn't anything serious going on, in your opinion. You would rather push papers instead of read more about the human body. You skim the papers, your finger going from word to word for less that a second before finding itself at the end of the page, ready to turn. Altair recites the different vaccines nurses can give, though he slips up time to time. Nanu reads from a book, but keeps their head down. After a while of not turning the page, you realize they're sleeping.

"I didn't know being a 'nurse' could be so boring." You say, sitting back in your seat. Altair stops, scowling at you.

"We're learning valuable material. Maybe you should have stayed a regular volunteer." You make a face at him as he goes back to reciting.

A moment later, a nurse comes in. You tap Nanu with your foot, thinking they're here to see that you three actually worked. "(A/N). You have a visitor." Their face is grim and your heart sinks, expecting the worst. Nanu looks around in a sleepy daze as Altair continues, his eyes however on your back. You don't ask the nurse who your visitor is, expecting one of Poe's squadron members to tell you the terrible news. You stare up at the ceiling, trying to tell the tears to go away. You didn't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks 4 reading. hopefully i'll get the next chapter done b4 school's over. oh yea! semester ends in two weeks so more writing time? :')


	43. Always Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a long time away, Poe's back and BB-8's got a surprise, but he can't talk about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff and stuff ;-;

Your eyes stick to the ceiling as you walk, the nurse not talking to you either. They walk briskly beside you, head forward. You glance over, wanting know what they knew.

He's standing at the counter, hands folded tight. He's more nervous than you it seems, but he holds it under a calm exterior, a happy smile comes to his lips when you round the corner. The Commander sports dark circles around his eyes, but still his eyes shine for you. You can't help yourself running to him. He steps back, opening his arms.

You expect him to poof in your arms, you're still dreaming. But he's holding you tight, burying his face in your shoulder. Your toes brush against the ground as he picks you up. Your hand play with the curls at the nape of his neck, taking him in. He's so real. This is real. You pull away, though he still keeps you up.

"You're back! Are you hurt? Oh, I missed you my love." He puts you down slowly, his smile unwavering. "No. I'm fine, I'm fine. I.." He kisses your forehead. "I missed you too." You ignore the looks from the other medics as you stand on your toes to kiss him. Had he grown taller? His chin scratches your face gently, the new stubble giving you a hello. Your hand comes down from his shoulder to his cheek, caressing his face.

"When did you return?" 

"Earlier. We're all here, and safe... Few casualties. But, that's expected." His face darkens. You bury your face in his flight suit. Poe brings you closer, hands around your waist.

"I'm sorry." You turn your head, hearing his heartbeat, faster than normal. "Let's go somewhere private." His hands go to yours and he leads you out. You don't ask the others if it's okay. You could read another day, another time.

* * *

You reach the center. He's lost. "Where do you want to go?" He pauses, not sure.   
"We can go to my room?" You suggest, knowing your roommate wouldn't be coming any time soon. The pilot nods and follows you, rubbing your hand with his thumb the whole way. 

"Where's BB-8?" You ask, the hallways longer and the windows fogged from all the rain.   
"I can't tell you." His answer is quick, suspicious.   
"Why not?" You inquire, reaching your room.   
"It's a secret. Until later... Let's talk about something else. Do you have a roommate?"   
You open your door and slip in. "Of course."

He takes his time, walking in and expecting everything. The medical posters of your roommate interest him briefly before he goes to your desk. Too many books, textbooks. "I'm not your roommate." His back is towards you, but you hear the hurt in his voice.   
"Not this time no." You sit on your bed, watching him. 

"So many books, (A/N). Are you studying for something? Becoming a doctor after all?" You shrug, taking your shoes off, as he picks up the smallest notebook and thumbs through it. "They're making me. I'm not a real nurse remember?" 

He puts it down and turns to you, hand on his chest. "But you're my favorite nurse! _My_ favorite volunteer." You giggle as he kisses you, and down to your neck, repeating the phrases. "I know I am, but that's still not enough." You relax as the laughing subsides. 

The pilot rests on your chest, sighing exasperated. "Same roommate?" You shake your head. "He's a nurse, trying to be a doctor." You stroke his hair, missing this, missing him. "Oh. Does he help you with your studies?"   
You chuckle, "Not really. He's way ahead of me."   
"All the better. He knows his stuff."   
"He doesn't want to."   
"Well that's not very nice." He sits up, gazing down at you.

You stare back. His dark brown eyes seem so tired now, but still lively with the laugh lines, framing them. The circles around his eyes aren't prominent anymore; being with you brought color back to his cheek. 

"What are you looking at?" You say finally, resting against your pillows. 

"You." He comes down, pressing his lips against your own. Your noses bump lightly as you readjust your faces. Your legs wrap around his waist, hands going to his zipper. He licks your lips before gently parting them with his tongue. You welcome him, hearing the satisfying noise of the zipper coming undone. He moans, pulling away. 

"Is it okay if we don't?" You raise your eyebrows in confusion before nodding. "Yeah." He sits up, back against the wall. You reposition yourself, your legs across his lap. He massages your soles and exhales.   
"Are you okay?" You ask, thinking it's the surprise BB-8 has planned that's got him in a mood.   
"I'm great, love." He flashes a warm smile, returning to your feet.   
"You've never given me a foot massage before." You coo, looking at him through your eyelashes.   
He chuckles to himself, "Really?" You nod, sitting up a little.

"What's going in your mind, Poe?"

He keeps his eyes low, a stray curl falling on his forehead. "It was a long mission. Very long. Stressful." He furrows his brow, "Good men and women lost. For what original was just for my X-Wing. But once we got there, the situation was more volatile than we expected. We had to stay and help."   
"Base building?" 

He shrugs, "Sort of. Turns out some Republic Senators who weren't in Hosnian Prime were there, trying to regain the Republic's power. So we helped, they can listen to the Resistance now, help now, even though the Republic is no more." You squirm in his hands. You aren't used to this type of pampering. "The General and I warned everyone about the leaders though. What's a Senator doing out here? You know, I stole a yacht from a rogue Senator once. That's how I got to Jakku." 

You nod, wanting him to go on. "They're all for it. 'Anything for the people.' But remember, my love, there were First Order troops on the ground, a lot." You've tried to block the memory, not telling him yet how you had more First Order related nightmares. "So we're fighting them and trying to keep the people safe and negotiate if we want to move people here when it's so dangerous, or just relocate the Resistance and allies..." He shakes his head and looks over at you, squeezing your foot just right. "It's not massage talk." He stops talking about it, focusing on you. You suck on the inside of your cheek trying to figure him out.

"I love you." You whisper, a small smile coming to your lips. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me. As long as everyone's safe for the most part... It's a war, remember?" You roll your eyes, quoting Ciro. 

He moves to the other foot, "I know that very much, sweetheart." You frown, "What else happened? Tell me what you're thinking." He licks his lips again, his thumbs moving in semicircles under the ball of your foot. You bite your lip. Why hadn't he done this before? 

"How I almost lost you." 

You shake your head. "You won't lose me _ever_ , Dameron." He smiles wide, "I love hearing that, just so you know." The smile goes away after a moment. "I feel bad too."   
"How so?"   
"I was gone for a long time! I told you a few days!" He's frustrated, squeezing a bit tight. You make a face and he loosens, "Sorry." 

You remove your foot and move next to him. "It'll be like that... But you're here now." You rest your head on his shoulder. You didn't like him being gone for a long time either. His arm goes around your shoulder. "I wonder how my parents dealt with this." He mutters, mostly to himself. "What do you mean?" He glances over at you, sighing. "My parents were in the Galatical Civil War."   
"I know that."   
He kisses your forehead. "They had to spend time apart, but... I don't know how they handled it." You kiss his cheek. "Ask your dad." You move to the edge of the bed. "I should get back to studying though." He watches you as you grab your shoes. 

"Stay with me a little longer?" The Commander reaches out for you. You hide a greedy smile as you kick your shoes off. 

"Only a few minutes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see u guys in two weeks probably? thanks so much for reading :')


	44. Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's an important base meeting and BB-8's surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im totally guessing and stuff. we won't know anything until 2017 ;-; we'll see, we'll see.

The walk to the center is uneventful. You hold his hand, just glad that he's back, but there's something more. At least it feels that way. The people who are in canteen keep the conversations low and to themselves, atmosphere stressed. Whatever happened during their mission has spread. You'd find out soon enough. BB-8 rolls right up to him, giving you a small greeting noise. You smile, also happy to see the little droid. You'd also find out what BB-8 planned as well. You peck Poe's cheek. "I'll see you later flyboy." He grins, "I'll come get you in a bit."  
"Come get me?" He's already walking towards the hangar, BB-8 at his side.  
"You'll see."

When you arrive back at medbay, Altair is out stretching and talking to a doctor. "I think I'm almost ready. One day you and I will be working hard together." The doctor laughs. "I look forward to the day young Altair." He turns his head when he sees you walk back to the designated study room. "Roomie! Where'd you go?"

You shrug, "They had a few questions about stuff." You keep your gaze ahead. You don't sound convincing at all. "What stuff?"  
"This time I traveled and had a dog fight with an TIE Fighter. Not anything big." Altair follows you to the back and see Nanu left. "What do you mean? You're a pilot?"  
You shake your head, "No. I was just in a... freighter. Except it wasn't a freighter... A yacht. My father was a Senator remember?" Your father didn't own a yacht. He thought they were a waste of money.

"You had a yacht?" The young man's eyes widen. "There's so much you don't tell me!" You laugh, still nervous. You haven't bought it and it is your own story. "Didn't think it was important." You flashing a fake smile before sitting down. "I gotta study." He sits next to you. "Same."

You two sit in silence for eternity. You can't focus on any one sentence. You see your Commander's face, how exhausted and stressed, but how he tried to make sure you were okay. In the moments before you two separated again, he talked about this pastry he had while out. It was unlike anything he had before and the closest treat he could guess wasn't in Basic. He became flustered when he couldn't remember the name so you suggested that you'd go back to the planet and find it and make him some. You didn't know how but you saw the fading grin on his face couldn't remember the name. "You're so sweet. Just like this pastry. You would have liked it anyway." He changed the subject to the Senator again, distrust heavy in his tone. You listened while tracing the lines in his palms. Ciro could read palms, you thought with a small smile. You don't remember her tips on reading them and continue to touch the darker lines with your finger tips.

Altair stands suddenly. "There's an important all base meeting happening soon. We should probably get going." You look up confused.  
"All base meeting? For what?"  
He returns the expression. "The squadron from D'Qar is back. And there's gotta be something else too, since it's everyone and not just pilots and technicians."  
You gather your things. "Go ahead of me." You say, not wanting to leave yet. Poe said he'd come get you.  
"You sure?"  
"Yeah. I'm sure if the only base has to go, I won't be able to miss it." Altair shrugs and leaves.

Alone you sit with your books. When will he come is the question now. If Altair is leaving now, you doubt any of the personnel would be staying behind as well. You head to the front and wait. He comes soon after, Karé following behind. You guess their droids are where the meeting will be held. He's changed, wearing a dark brown uniform shirt and darker pants with his flight jacket. Karé's in her uniform, her braids pulled back in an ornate bun. You wonder if she had help to make such a design. They're laughing about something and she pats his back. "I'm just glad you're back Commander."  
"Glad to be back."

You walk over to them, holding your texts. "There they are!" The woman says. "I met them before. I was going to go talk to that tech I was telling you about but ended up chatting your beau instead."  
You're slightly embarrassed as he puts his arm over your shoulder. "I'm happy you're acquainted. Captain Kun is one of my best. Been together for a while, before we joined the Resistance."  
"You know, when they told me that you had partnered up I thought they were lying. You know how rumors are."  
Poe chuckles as you navigate the long halls. "Oh, of course. Some of the pilots here thought I was dead. Who was telling people I died?"  
The blonde laughs, shaking her head. "I have no idea, sir."  
"They looked at me as if I was Darth Sidious come back to life!" She continues to laugh and you smile, wondering what kind of day he was having.

* * *

The command center is a lot bigger than D'Qar's. You were in the command center only once and that was before the battle at Starkiller Base. You were a volunteer and they needed all hands on deck. You see Finn, next to some young woman around the same age as him. Her hair is down and her hand is on his. She says something you can't hear over the voices of the many cramped inside. You follow Poe, now behind holding his hand. The Captain split to go to her squadron, Stiletto. You recognize some of the people, coming in and out for minor scratches and cuts while working on the aircrafts. Who you don't see is Sabik and any of the officers ranked higher than Poe. He stops by Finn and puts you in front of him. In front is a round holotable. It's also bigger than the one at D'Qar. You want to move to his side, or rather separate and go to the medics you see across, but his arms are firm at your sides.

Finn greets you with a warm hello. "Glad to see you're here. I got a little worried... Sab isn't here. Different base. A training one."  
"Training?"  
"They decided to be a foot soldier. They didn't tell you?" You shake your head. "Yeah. This base doesn't have a enough space for that. But there's one in the next system." The girl next to him looks at you with curiosity.

"I'm happy to know then." You want to complain. Your close friends are separated from you now; Ciro in Tatooine and Sabik wherever Finn told you. Your other friends are here, but they don't seem interested to talk about the old things you used to talk about. They want to talk about the First Order more after confiscating a FO sympathizer's journal during their laundry shifts.

He glances over his neighbor and then back to you. "This is Rey." His eyes sparkle almost when he says her name. You wish Poe's eyes would do the same when he says yours. Or do they always and you've grown used to it?  
She smiles too, "You're the esteemed nurse?" She's prettier than you remember and you can see why Finn blew off your old friends' advances as you nod.  
"I'm (A/N)."  
She repeats your name, closing her eyes. "I like it." You thank her, wondering if she 'felt' something in you. Could you be some force sensitive being without knowing it? Not likely, but you like to pretend.

Finn starts in the story for how he met you for the first time, the kisses meant for private shared by you and your Poe. When he shares it, you want to disappear, seeing the way she looks at you. You wonder if something is wrong.  
"I forgot all about that to be honest!" Poe chimes in, shaking his head. "It feels like a decade ago!"  
"You should tell a different story, Finn." You say, knowing your experiences since then were more positive. The flowers! The times you spent when Poe was away.

He rolls his eyes, "Fine." He tells the flower story and Poe leans down to whisper in your ear. "Stick around after this meeting?" You nod, raising your eyebrow. "Of course."

Once the flower story ends, the reason for such a big meeting is hits you. She's the next Jedi! You feel your boyfriend's hands around your waist and you rest yours on his. Luke must be here. He's going into another story, one involving Sabik and him, when General Organa comes out, standing in the empty spots on your left with a caped figure. You're in awe and you wonder if that's why Poe put you in front. His arms stiffen as you feel your knees go weak. He steadies you from behind and you turn to him.  
"That's Luke Skywalker!" You whisper, hoping he didn't hear how in awe you were. You definitely read about him in your university. You remember wishing you could meet him, wanting to know more about the farm boy full of compassion. Your senior thesis was almost about him and the paragon of light. The Commander smirks, "Yeah. It sure is."

The room hushes as the General begins to speak. You're not the only one with the shocked reaction once they realize who it is. "As many of you are aware, we have had an influx of people the past few months from the old base D'Qar because it was no longer safe for our operations to continue with the First Order rebuilding. We've seen what they're capable of. We don't know how much longer it will take them if they have decided to build another or attack. We have however been getting reports of them securing colony planets on the Outer Rim. We've been sending our own to go and counter the colonization without getting them on our trail. We've succeeded in some, but have failed in others."  
Some people hang their heads. Every day someone was lost, but then it felt like some days, they were replaced by new volunteers willing to take arms against the First Order. They indeed were from the Outer Rim.

"But we can't let that keep us at a disadvantage. We found Luke and the next Jedi before they had a chance. And so we move forward." She nods to her brother. The crowd waits, wondering what he'll say. Poe's arms tense around you.  
"I'm Luke. Most of you know that. My heart is warmed by those I see that fought before and weary for those reason that we're all here again... When I was away, I had many visions. I meditated, trying to figure this all out: The Force and the balance of light and dark, our future after my pupil turned... No answer was clear until I saw her." Rey's eyes bore into the old man. "The Resistance is lucky to have the next generation of Jedi in their hands. They're both untrained." Some people in the crowd groan. How would the Jedi save us if they were untrained. Others start to guess who the other Jedi is. Everyone knows Rey.  
"But they will be ready." He closes his eyes. "The light is strong here. Light will always overcome."

He lets Leia speak again. Her expression is no nonsense as she and the others begin to plan the next attack. The planet is small, but fertile. It's the perfect spot for the First Order to harvest and control. They could make the tall grasses into oil, enough oil for their fuel cells. The ore for metal was in a different part. It couldn't produce the perfect type, but it was good enough until they could find a replacement. Their base was small and vital. Heavily armored. You listen, causalities would be high as there would be ground fighting as well as air strikes. Her voice is calm as she tells the medics, "Prepare for an influx of patients once this is over." They would be sending Blue squadron and Stiletto Squadron.  
"Black Leader, do you want to go?" Poe chuckles. "I should go in case things get dicey." You want to protest. He just got back. How could he leave again?

They'd leave in a few days. When it's over, everyone has their duties. You don't have a night shift, but you would still stop in medbay to see if they needed any help. Some doctors and nurses would be going to help on the ground. That terrifies you and secretly fills you with joy that you weren't chosen to go. Altair is however. You turn to Finn who's waiting besides Rey.  
"Who's the other Jedi?" It's a question that's burning on your mind. He shrugs and Rey sighs. "I'm not untrained, Master."  
Luke smiles, touching her shoulder. "Yet you're not in full control."  
He turns to Finn, reading him in a way. "It is you. Rey told me so much."  
Finn's face heats up as he glances at Rey. "You spoke of me?"  
She nods, "Of course." She lowers her voice, adding, "You came back."  
"He's the Awakening." Luke says it so soft you barely hear him. "I felt you. When it happened." Finn's awestruck, unsure what the old Jedi means.

"What do you mean you felt him?" Poe asks. His blue eyes settle on the Commander's face. "Your mother was a sharp pilot. R2 chose her for a secret mission. How's the tree?"  
Poe softens at the mention of his mom. "The tree is strong. The ground is fertile because of it. My family is forever grateful." You sort of remember the tree, but also remembered being in awe of the ranch as a whole. Kes did his best. "Your father is well too?" Poe nods, "Yes sir."  
His eyes go to you. You want to look away, but his eyes are kind. "You shouldn't worry so much. You'll get older that way." He pats your hand before going back to Finn.

"We must continue your training Rey, yes. But we need to add your friend. He's strong with the Force in ways he doesn't know." He starts to walk away with Rey in tow. Finn stays behind, "I can't be... I was a storm trooper. Doesn't he know that?" You and Poe shrug, not sure. You both weren't force sensitive. "Go see what he means then, buddy. And congratulations."

He follows behind, scratching his head. You two aren't alone, but the room empties. "You're leaving again." You move to where Finn stood.  
"I won't be gone like before. I'll be back once the battle is over. Wait for the next move." He leans against the table, now dark, and brushes his fingers against your cheek. "My love, it'll be alright. Plus Luke Skywalker told you to stop worrying."  
You make a face, "I can't help it. It's my nature."  
His hands go to your waist to bring you closer. "I know..." You sigh feeling his lips press against your forehead. "I won't leave your side until then. To make up for the months I've been away."  
You laugh lightly, "You promise?"

Before he can answer, a familiar beeping answers for him. "Oh right! Thanks pal! I almost forgot." The Commander steps away and smiles wide for his droid. "C'mon (A/N). We've got a surprise for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading. sorry 4 the delay. got distracted and also wasn't sure how to insert important main characters into the plot?? give me feedback if it doesn't work or if the tone is weird. idk. as i said earlier. im guessing.


	45. Here In Your Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BB-8 and Poe share their surprises with the reader and Poe opens up more about the mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I named this after the hellogoodbye song because i was listening to it D:

He leads you to his room. You raise your eyebrow, wondering what kind of surprise did they have for you. It isn't your birthday, or was it? Time slips away from you being so busy. You don't feel any older if it is. There's a crude drawing of you which you guess is done by BB-8 on the bed and a flaky pastry in a tray on the nightstand. You tell they tried to spruce it up; dried up flowers are on the left and pretty rocks on the right. BB-8 whirs. He chose the flowers and the rocks. "Did you draw this for me too?" You pick the doodle and admire it. 

"I switched out his arm one night because he saw me writing in my journal. Said I looked like you. And he just started. I think he'll be one of the first droid artists."  
"There have to be droid artists already." You reply, liking the way he drew you smiling. It's crooked and your eyes are lines. You're smiling hard. "I love it." It warms your heart to look at it. "But what's the occasion?" 

Poe points to the dessert. "That's the treat I was telling you about. I explained it to one of the cooks. Turns out it's a buttersweet puff." You smile, knowing that. Your household only bought them when you had friends over. It was an easy buy and easy finger food. "I used to have these back home... Thank you." You blow him a kiss, putting the drawing down. He sits next to you, "I also got you this." From his jacket he pulls out a necklace with a small locket. "The inside holds a leaf from the tree Master Luke was talking about. It's force sensitive and hasn't wilted yet." 

You touch his cheek. "Thank you. For all of this." You knit your eyebrows together, "You still haven't told me what it's all for." He motions you to lean towards him. "I missed you." He clips the necklace around your neck. "I meant to give you that before. Back on Yavin." You hold his face in your hands. "I love it. I just wish I had something to give you." He leans forward, brushing his lips against yours. You pull away, your stomach growling. Heat rushes to your face as you hope he didn't hear it too. At least you have the pastry. 

Poe lies back on the bed with a loud sigh, "I really thought you'd be my roommate too. BB-8 thought it as well." The droid beeps in agreement, adding that his master kept bringing it up when they rested for the night. "I wonder if they're keeping you from me for a reason." He ponders, his fingers fiddling with the end of your uniform vest.  
"Maybe I'm too much of a distraction."  
"No. That's not true." You reach over grabbing the tray. "Where'd you get the flowers?" Poe rolls to his side, resting his head on his hand. "Around."  
"Around where?" The base is above ground, you remind yourself. They look too delicate to be in the jungle surrounding the base too. "The mission. The rocks are from there too. We thought they were interesting."  
You nod, "They are. Thank you so much." Your voice rises, trying to cover the grumbles from your empty stomach. 

He sits up motioning to BB-8. "Are you ready to go back out there, buddy?" You listen silently, eating the puff. It tastes just like you remember it, except you're choked by nostalgia. You're back in Hosian Prime with your mother, chatting excitedly about your friends spending the night as you reach the bakery. You remember when you were in university and getting them yourself. The one near your school was way better than the one your mother went to, much sweeter and the prices cheaper. 

"(A/N), did you hear me?" You hold the pastry tight in your hands, looking over at Poe. Hopefully you don't look as unnerved as you feel. "Can you repeat the question?" You ask before taking another bite, trying not to dissociate again. He rests his arm around your shoulder.  
"I asked if you wanted to spend the night. Well, BB-8 suggested it," he nods towards the round droid. The droid wiggles, waiting for your answer.  
"I can if you want me to." He leans over, kissing your cheek. "I want you to."  
"Then I'll spend the night." 

BB-8 whirs and then asks for a piece of paper and for Poe to change his arm. The Commander fusses, checking his drawers. "You can draw if your arm is in here." He waits patiently for his master to find the right arm while you eat. One last bite. You wonder what he wants to draw. 

To both the pilot and droid's disappointment, the assigned drawing arm is in the hangar. They match in posture, head slumped down, slight head shake and pouting. BB-8 perks first, suggesting he'd go and get it. "But who'd carry it for you?" The droid beeps back quick, him of course. He could do it just as well as a human could. Poe raises his hands in defense. "Fine. I'll see you when you get back?" He's already rolling out, determined. 

"He's going to make a masterpiece when he gets back," you suggest, putting the tray on the desk. For a second you hesitate in licking the sticky residue off your fingers. You don't want Poe to judge you. He's not even looking in your direction, searching for blank paper for his droid. You take the chance, bringing your index to your lips. "I wouldn't be surprised. You probably inspired him with your own drawings--" His voice trails, his shoulders tensing. You remove your finger, fixing your mouth to ask what's wrong. 

He puts the blank pages down on his clean desk, resting his hands on the bare metal. "Your drawings."  
"Yes?" Did he want you to go get your journal? You did finish the Yavin IV sunset. BB-8 would be thrilled to see it. 

"They're back at D'Qar." He turns with a pitiful look, "I didn't know we'd be coming to a different base. Had I known, I'd pass on to someone to get them." You laugh, shaking your head. "It's not that big of a deal. I can draw some more."  
"But their significance. Our first date." You continue to laugh, "You call that our first date?" 

You could barely see him in the dark, save for his flashlight. And how coy he was. It was interrupted as well! "We didn't have a lot of options. We still don't."  
You snort, "I can draw more. And it'll look better too since I can see."  
Poe sighs, sitting next to you. "It's more than that, (A/N). You know it."  
You kiss his cheek. "Being together with you is enough. We've got the memory." 

His arm goes around your waist. "That's reassuring I suppose." He tilts his head back, thinking. Resting your head on his shoulder, you hold the hand at your waist. It's the same earlier. "I wrote you letters. Did you get them?"  
You perk up, "Letters?" 

He nods. "I don't think I did." He tsks, but nods towards his desk. "Good thing I wrote them in there as backup."  
"Backup?"  
"In case they got lost while I wrote them."  
"Why didn't you just sent a hologram?" Ciro started to do that instead of sending things via holomail.  
"No time." 

You get up, touching the datapad. "But just enough to write copies of letters." The screen lights up as your touch. "For you, I have all the time to write." You roll your eyes and return to the bed with the datapad, handing it to the owner.

Poe goes through the various folders as you lie back. "Will they still be relevant now that you're here?" You ask, staring at the ceiling. "Of course," he starts to hand the device back to you. "Can you read it to me?" He rolls his eyes, "Okay, sweetheart." You smile, your hand caressing his back. "Thank you, love." 

He clears his throat and starts off with an endearing nickname. "'I don't think I'll be coming back as soon as I planned. The situation here puts me off. I don't know what it is, but the leader doesn't seem like someone I can trust. He's a former Senator. Did your father know a man by the name of ___? I haven't asked if he knew yours. I didn't think it was safe.' I still don't by the way."  
You nod, "I'm happy you didn't ask." 

He continues, "'He kept laminating about how sad it was to see the evil forces of the dark side take over the in the Republic and especially in the Senate with the corrupt. I didn't ask how he survived. Pava did. Apparently he got word that his wife was sick and he left the system to be with her.' What do you think?" 

You ponder it, tapping on your stomach. "Did you meet his wife?"  
He shakes his head no. "General Organa said to be careful when I told her. The whole time, we didn't see any wife. I even asked if she was on a different planet. He just said she didn't like visitors... Moving on," he clears his throat again, "'Your clothes are safe. I did a thorough check. I'll bring them to you personally as soon as I can. I look forward to it. I hate that we separated as quick as we did. I hope your head is better and you don't have nightmares. If you do have nightmares, know they aren't real. And think of your favorite things. Like if I have bad dreams, I think of Yavin IV and my mother, her smile. And you too. Also write them down in case they repeat. That's what Dr. Kalonia told me to do after Finn and I escaped the First Order.'" He pauses, looking at the door. 

"You can read the rest if you want." You sit up, stretching your arms above your head. He puts the journal beside him. "Did you have nightmares?" He asks, brush your cheek. "No." A lie is simpler.  
"Really?" You smile, touching his own.  
"What about you?"  
"I still do. But I write them down. I know they aren't real." He looks away, swallowing hard. 

"What else did you write about?" You ask, figuring he wants the subject to change. "The mission. Questions about what you were doing, how you were." He shrugs, "Normal things I suppose."  
"I'm happy you thought of me."  
"Of course I would think of you!" He leans closer, his eyes focusing on your lips. "I missed you."  
"I missed you too." You close your eyes, feeling his lips brush against yours. 

A loud knock at the door makes him pull away. You frown, wondering if that's BB-8. You wouldn't be as irritated if it's him. He stands, running his hand through his hair. When the door opens, to your disappointment, it's a technician. You think her name is Pam... No Pamich.   
"Sorry to interrupt sir, but General Organa sent me. She wants to go over plans as soon as possible." She keeps her dark eyes on the Commander, not even bothering to peer inside.   
"Okay. I'll be there soon." She gives a brisk nod before leaving. He groans when the doors shuts. 

"You think that's where BB-8 is?" You nod with a sad smile. "They probably got him first. Figured you weren't that far behind."   
He straightens his jacket, and offers you his hand. "I'll come get you when it's over."   
You stand, still smiling. "What if I'm asleep by then?"   
"Then I guess I'm sleeping over in your room." Altair would love that, you think rolling your eyes.   
"Whatever you say, fly boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! sorry for the long wait in between. I've been distracted :(


	46. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader's got to confront some lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> might be a minute until the next update :'o  
> (B/N) - brother's name naturally lol

He walks you back to your room, the whole way, changing the ways to hold your hand. You ignore it, wondering what he's doing. When you reach the door, he holds your hand up against his. "I'll be back." He gives you a quick peck on the forehead before he goes.

In your room, it's empty. Altair isn't there of course. You bet he's in medbay now, trying to plan out supplies for the potential injuries. You smooth out your covers and lie back on your bed. Guilt consumes you now. You should have told him you have nightmares still. They have been less however you admit, not as vivid. If they are anything, they are short and disturbing. You don't die anymore. Well, not as a martyr. You're back on Hosnian Prime with your parents. It's their last night. And you know it, a fretting in the back of your mind as you all have dinner. You listen to your father as he argues politics again; That damn Skywalker and the Resistance. He'll believe a threat when he actually sees it. You want to tell him about the Resistance, and Poe! and the friends you've made, but stay silent as usual as your brother changes the subject. He's fascinated by the different bodies he's seen and wants to share. You mother gives a disapproving glare which he ignores until she speaks up. "Not now. Maybe after we aren't eating, (B/N)." He sighs, "Yes mother." You stay silent, hearing the crack in the sky. "Storms weren't on the forecast." Your mother says, checking the window. The red glare from the Weapon light the sky. Your mother curses for the first time in your life and turns to you. You say you love each other before the light consumes you.

It's the worse one in your opinion. You would rather be stabbed by Kylo Ren than think of their deaths. You roll on your side, thinking of your favorite things. After a few minutes, the nightmare no longer plagues you. You ponder telling Poe that his tip helped, but you don't want him to worry. He's got so much on his shoulders already. You can't imagine the stress, though he bares it well. He doesn't let you see him crack under pressure. Sitting up, you wish he would. It probably isn't good his health to keep it all in. When he comes, you tell yourself that you'd get him to open up, de-stress. You fill his old bag with a change of clothes and something to sleep in before relaxing a bit yourself.

You get your journal and rip out the sunset drawing for BB-8. You know the little droid would love it. You wonder where he'd keep it when your door opens. Altair walks in disheveled and sinks in his bed. "This is going to be a long mission... I don't know if anyone is really prepared."  
"Are you?" You ask, closing your journal.

"Hell no." He sits up, rubbing eyes. "Blaster wounds are one thing, but when you take in account that we'll be getting shot at too from ground fire and whatever is flying above us... It's overwhelming."

You frown, "You'll be okay. You'll survive and be a doctor when you return." He looks back at you as if you cursed him. "Who knows." He lies back in his bed and faces the wall.

Neither of you say anything before he lets out a soft huff. When he rolls back over, there's a smile. "I got to meet Finn and Rey." "Really?" You match his enthusiasm. "They're much nicer than I imagined. And nicer to look at," he winks and rests on his arm.  
"I suppose so."  
"So is the Commander."

You narrow your eyes, this again. "But I've been hearing things about him." "Things?" He nods. "He's got some lover in the Resistance somewhere. No one knows them that well." That's true. "Huh," you say, tapping your chin.  
"You know them?"  
You tilt your head to the side, feigning a confused expression. "How would I know? I'm not that close to the commander." The lie sounds odd out loud, to you at least. "Well they were on D'Qar." You hope that Altair falls asleep before Poe comes.

"Why do you care so much anyway?" Your tone is defensive, irritated. "I mean, how come you can't just be his friend?" His eyebrow raises, "I'd love to be his friend, and more. It's just an idol crush. Whoever he's with is a lucky person." He watches your face intently and you relax, looking at the ceiling.

"What's this planet like?" You ask changing the subject. "Hmm, rainy and jungle like. I don't know. You've been here for a few months. You tell me." You shrug, "I'm just curious is all. There's no way down to the river below."

He sits up, shaking his head. "You're being weirder than normal."  
"I'm not weird."  
"Of course. We're all a bit... off. Maybe it's the mission, or the food."

The knock at chills your blood. You know who it is. And there's no way you'd let your roommate open the door now.

"I'll get it." "No I will. It might be one of the doctors. I sorta snuck out." He jokes, standing. Your eyes widen and you rush to the door. "No no! I got it." He stands still, crossing his arms. "If you so insist."

Poe's back to the door, he's talking to Karé Kun. He turns slightly when he hears the door open. "Ah, there you are. Are you okay?" "You look a little frightened." Kun chimes in, looking in. Altair stares back, stunned. "I'm fine. Um, do you wanna come in? I didn't finish--" "Okay. Are you sure you're okay, love?" Your heart skips too many beats. You couldn't tell if it's because your lie is falling apart or because of his pet name. Karé shakes her head and waves. "I'll pass. See you tomorrow Dameron. Don't distract him too much, (A/N)."

Inside of your room, Altair stands frozen. You put your journal in your bag and look around while Poe sits, patiently waiting for you. "I'll try not to be a distraction." You joke quietly, zipping your back up. "You a distraction? Never." He looks over at your roommate. "Are you two okay?"

"You're the lover. And you weren't going to tell me?"

You flinch at the words, even though your back is facing him. "The lover? Who's the lover? Whose lover?" Altair pauses, looking at you and then Poe. "They didn't tell me that they're your partner?"  
"Oh?" Poe looks a bit hurt.  
"I didn't want that to be the only highlight about me." You say, putting your pack on. You hope that Poe's not upset.  
"It's not the only highlight about you," he starts, his frown deepening, "or is that what you think?"  
"No! Absolutely not! But he just started asking questions, like if you were single and other stuff... I shut down."  
"If you would have told me, I wouldn't have entertained the thoughts."  
You turn to Poe. "Can we talk about this in private?" He nods slowly, standing. "I suppose so." You ignore Altair when you two walk out.

* * *

"Are you jealous, baby doll?" He asks once you're out in the hall. You hide your face in his shirt and he moves against the wall so he doesn't block traffic. Lifting your face you nod slowly, "I don't like being jealous."  
The corners of his lips perk up slightly. "To be honest, the way you two looked... I thought something else had happened." You move to his side and he leads the way to his room.  
"Nothing like that will happen." You reply squeezing his hand. "I'm sorry."  
"It's okay. But, I do want you to know that you're more than our relationship. You know that right?" He stops, turning to you. "To me, you're the world. Even if I'm long ass missions. All I think about is returning to my world."  
You stick your tongue out. "Cheesy." He laughs, "You love it." You shake your head, "I do. I love you too."

He starts walking again, his hand resting in the middle of your back. "This mission is gonna be dicey." The corners of your mouth turn. "We're getting more people for the cause, but we don't got a lot of resources."  
"What's the plan then?" You ask, looking up at him. He looks forward, his jaw clenching.  
"We're getting help from our allies. So far. But that's few compared to the First Order." He clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Did you ever find BB-8's drawing arm?"  
"Yeah. We'll see if he still wants to draw when we get back."

The hall is full of people, walking back and forth, planning for their next moves. It's so different from a normal night. For most, like Poe, it's their first night at this base. They're lost. You peer over at the Commander at the thought. Is he lost? He keeps his head forward, giving nods of acknowledgement to those who greet him.

His door is already open. BB-8 arrived a few moments earlier. The droid greets you with a happy string of beeps before beeping to Poe. He wants to draw now. You sit on the bed unpacking your bag, while Poe kneels to install the 'drawing arm.' When you pull out your journal, excited beeps erupt from him. He's quick to ask about the requested drawing from months ago and inquires if you've got a new project. You pull the ripped page from your journal and show him. You can see as he scans the drawing that it's to his liking.

Poe looks up and smiles. "You're so talented, (A/N)." "I just had a lot of time on my hands." You shrug. You spent at least two weeks on it, expecting them to back when you finished only to be disappointed that you rushed a bit at the end. When the arm is installed, BB-8 takes the paper and parades it around, giving you too many compliments. His new goal is draw like you. "We'll see about that. Be better than me." You reply patting the domed head.

Poe takes the drawing from his droid and places it on the desk. "Let's keep it up here so it can stay safe, huh buddy?" He replaces the drawing with a pen. "Now you can make your own." He places paper on the hard ground and smiles as the astromech dashes off, making his first marks.

You sit back, as Poe joins him on the ground doing his own work. You roll to your stomach, wanting to join in. You start drawing a face, but scratch it out and start drawing Ciro. You wish she was here, someone was here at this point. You hum to yourself, the sound of writing utensils on paper annoying you. It reminds you of university. Had the Republic been saved, you would have graduated by now. Would you be at home helping your mother or in Coruscant with that internship you so desperately wanted. You'd learn about the Senate, the Sith, the Empire, all of it in the areas affected. But that was before the war. You glance over at Poe, who's deep in thought. Your eyes travel to his paper, and you see he's not drawing for fun. He's mapping out the mission and what is needed for necessary upgrades. BB-8 is the opposite. You guess that his drawing is of Luke Skywalker and R2-D2 from the heavy beard, cape, and the tin can looking character. You smile to yourself and return to Ciro. You hadn't received a letter from her almost a month. You try not to worry. All of her letters are cheery, except for when she complains about the heat, which is often.

Poe sighs loudly and shakes his head. "I don't know what we're gonna do." "Do what, my love?" You ask, not looking up. You know exactly what he's talking about, but don't want him to know that you peeped. "Resource wise." BB-8 responds with an idealistic plan. Go to the other surviving New Republic worlds and systems that did side with the Resistance, even if it wasn't vocally.

"That'd take too much time." You reply with a frown. "Traveling, convincing then getting the resources?"  
"But compared to now? We're taking what we can... We're not prepared for this to go on too long."  
"It's gone on long enough, baby boy." You retort, adding Ciro's braids. "I suppose so. But it's so risky." Poe stands, rubbing his chin. BB-8 rolls up, looking at his drawing before rolling back.

"Tell me what you're thinking." You sit up, feeling his frustration.

"How fucked we are." BB-8 snaps back, no cursing. "Ah. I'm sorry, buddy." The Commander faces the wall, still thinking. "But we're in a messy situation. This whole thing--"

"We'll be fine. We got the paragon of light on our side." He turns to you, not convinced. "It's true! We got to the Jedi too before the First Order. We're gonna be okay." You motion for him to come over. He walks over, careful not to step on BB-8's work space. "We're going to be okay, okay Poe?" He sits beside you, kissing your forehead. "I'll take your word for it."

You rub his back before returning to your drawing position. He stays for a minute before joining you. You carefully re-position your journal, not wanting him to see the unfinished drawings. Most of them are him and old. "Who is that?" He asks, pointing to Ciro. "My best, well one of my best friends. She's in Tatooine right now though."  
"Have I met her?"  
"Maybe once or twice." They were unimpressed with each other. "At the dance I think."  
He rolls his eyes, "Oh, (A/N), that was so long ago. I only remember dancing with you."  
"Dancing... We should go dancing." Poe shakes his head, "If you want to. If we have time."  
"Promise?"  
He nods. "Of course. Just remind me." You would.

From the floor, BB-8 beeps. He finished his masterpiece. Poe sits up, patting your bottom. "Let's see this so called masterpiece." He lifts the drawing up, and takes it in. You sit on your knees as you look over Poe's shoulder. It's much better than the one he did of you. While you two contemplate his work, BB-8 gives some commentary. It's from when he first saw the two together, a master and droid together for so many years. He rolls in place, nervous. He wants to give it to Luke later on.

"You definitely should! Huh, we should really see if they have artist droids. It'd be nice if you were the first. Think of all the models they'd come up with, just to make art." Poe beams, handing it to you. You nod in agreement. "He'd love it." When you give it back to him, BB-8 practically rolls out the room. He's going to deliver it now. "Uh, be safe! Don't ruin it!" Poe calls out as the door slams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading as always. i wonder if droids can have hobbies lol...


	47. Follow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader thinks about opening up about their dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully this posts correctly lol im @ this hotel with shoddy wifi :') also this is named after a diiv song, [follow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUyqKWPykoc).

You lie back down, resuming back to your drawing, finishing Ciro's braid. You wonder if she still braids it every day like before, or if she lets it loose. Or maybe she does the unthinkable and cut it to her shoulders. The last time she did that is years past. She complained for a full year before it got back to an acceptable length. But, she would tell you if she had in her letters. You tell that to yourself as Poe rests beside you. 

You glance over when he doesn't say anything. His eyes are closed, his breathing easy. Leaning over, you kiss his forehead. "Oh," he whispers, a sleepy smile forming. 

"I thought you were sleeping," you reply returning to unfinished doodle. 

"I was about to," he moves to the top of the bed, holding your leg messing with your toes. You kick your feet up so he wouldn't be able to mess with them further. 

"Ticklish?" he asks, rolling to his back. 

"Maybe." You deem her drawing good enough and close your journal. He motions for you to come to him. "You should change out of your uniform," you say with a cheeky smile. 

"You too." 

You both get up and start to change. You remember the first time changing in front of him and how nervous you were, hiding under the makeshift pillow fort. Now as you pull you shirt over your head, you didn't care. Well not nearly as much. His hands dance at your waist as you toss it to the side. He tilts your head and gives you a quick kiss. "Come on love, let's get dressed for bed." You wink, grabbing a shirt from your bag. 

He laughs, looking through his things. "Wonder what they got me here." You change your pants and rest on the bed. He turns to you, wearing something identical. "At least when I first joined, I got to pack up."  
"Maybe if you ask nicely, they'll let you go back to get things."  
"I'd like that. I'll ask tomorrow maybe." 

He rests next to you, caressing your cheek. You open your mouth to say something, but change your mind. "I missed sleeping by you." Poe says, tucking a hair behind your ear. "Same." Your eyes lower. thinking of the truth, telling him about the nightmares. 

He interrupts your thoughts with a yawn. "I miss sleeping in a bed too. Well, we slept on beds sometimes when we were with the Senator, but there was still the whole he could be a First Order sympathizer theory in the air," he chuckles, adding, "It wasn't fun sleeping with the potential of being murdered or turned in as a POW." 

You roll your eyes, "What makes you think I won't turn you in?" 

His eyebrow raises before furrowing. He doesn't reply, deep in thought. "It'd be the biggest betrayal of my life."  
You sit up, touching his cheek. "You're too literal sometimes."  
He leans forward, giving you a quick peck. "Am I?"  
You give him butterfly kisses and sigh. "You're too much." 

You lie back down, "Do you want to wait until BB-8 comes back?" He shrugs, turning to his side, "I wouldn't be surprised if they're making him do something, or if he's hanging out with Finn and Rey. He's a likable little fellow." You laugh, shaking your head, quietly repeating him. 

He returns to his back and gets settled. You relax in his arms, thinking of tomorrow. It'd be busy for everyone, for you? Just help as much as you could. You close your eyes, thinking of other things. Maybe Poe and you could steal a few moments alone while they plan. He holds you a little closer. 

It gnaws at you a few minutes later. You open your eyes and stare at his sleeping face. You don't want to bother him, knowing how tired he is. He didn't need to hear about your nightmares now. He sighs, moving to his side. You turn with him, holding his arms around your waist. He lets out a small groan when your bottom brushes against him. 

You smile, closing your eyes. You'd tell him tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry for the shortness. but i hope u liked the fluff and thank u for reading


	48. Day Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Poe talk about what's going to happen during their day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long delay :( but two chapters today probably~

You wake to small kisses on your neck and a nuzzle. You move so your arms are wrapped around his neck and he's on top. He leans down for a small peck on your lips, before resting on your chest. "Good morning, sweetheart."  
You caress his cheek. "Good morning. How'd you sleep?"  
"So good, now that you're by my side." 

You keep your smile as he asks about your own. You hesitate, remembering your promise. But your nightmares subsided, at least for last night. You didn't dream at all. You sigh, stretching your arms above your head. "Same." 

He sits up, scratching his head. "These pajamas... Gotta go." He checks out the fabric of the top before taking it off. "What's wrong?" You roll over, watching as he changes. 

"Scratchy. How do you manage?" Yours, unlike his, had been washed a few times, softening the woolly fabric. "I have other sleeping clothes." He makes a face at your answer and puts on a dark shirt. 

"What are your plans for the day?" He asks, seeing that BB-8 is still in low power mode. You wonder if droids get exhausted. You also want to know how his drawing was received. "Helping where I can. Or studying." 

He shakes his head, changing his pants. "Do you want me to talk to them? Tell them how you personally nursed me back to health?" You laugh, as he sits besides you. "See, no bruises. No broken ribs." He lifts his shirt to show off his chest. He healed nicely and you're grateful. "Stay this way." You say, sitting up. "With my shirt up?" He asks, a smirk playing on his lips. You roll your eyes, shaking your head. "Stay unharmed... Don't come back to me like before." He touches your cheek and nods. "Okay." 

For a moment, you're slightly taken aback. Before, he'd always respond with, 'Of course! I always come back. I'm the best.' He kisses your forehead before getting back into his routine.  
"I can't promise it. Though, I will try."  
"To know you'll try is enough for me, Poe." 

Beeping from the corner interrupts you as BB-8 awakes. He rolls around, listing out things they needed to do today. "With all that, you will barely have time to breathe," you joke, pulling the covers from your legs. "I guess I better get in all my breathing now." Poe replies, winking. 

It seems foreign again to dress in front of him. His back faces you for the majority of the time, checking his growing stubble. "I need to get rid of this. Right, (A/N)?" He asks, the one time he looks at you while you change. You're in your uniform for the most part, save for your boots.  
"Maybe. Makes you look older."  
"I look like my dad." He says, sticking his tongue out.  
"Well, he's your dad after all." 

Poe looks back at the mirror, scratching his chin. "I guess I could grow it out. Snap and I could be twins if I had a beard." You scrunch your nose up at the thought. The jokes would be unbearable. "Maybe not that much."  
"I've done it before. Even bigger."  
"Really?" 

He nods, adding, "I didn't keep it for long though. My partner didn't like it." 

"Partner." You repeat, a curious grin coming to your face. BB-8 beeps more. "Nah, before I had you... So maybe I've grown it out a few times." You have questions, not about his facial hair, but his partner, if it was platonic or more... "Grow it out then." You say, giving him a quick peck on his cheek.  
"What if you don't like it?"  
"I like you regardless." You sit on his bed to put your shoes on.  
"I like you regardless too." Poe responds, sitting beside you again. 

With two options in front of you, you focus on your shoes. You want to ask still, but you already had your priority from last night... "Honey," you begin. "Yeah?" His tone alerts you that he thinks something is wrong. You haven't called him honey in a while. It even sounds weird to your ears, but you're nervous and saying his name feels too formal. 

"I lied yesterday."  
"About..." 

Yesterday was a long wild day. It could be about anything. You guess which event he thinks of first. "I did have nightmares. But I didn't want you to worry about it! You've got so much to worry about! And your own nightmares..." He's quiet for a moment. You study his face, the wrinkle on his forehead won't go away, and his eyebrows are still furrowed. After a moment, it melts away and he shakes his head. "Shit, (A/N). Don't do that. I thought it was going to be something big!" He starts laughing. 

It's your turn to frown, "I just didn't want you to be worried about me. I have your tips now. And this necklace." You touch the locket gently and he brings you for a hug. You close your eyes, wanting him to hold you tighter, but settle for this. He pulls away, with a sigh. "And I'll always worry. Just like you do me." BB-8 interrupts again, reminding Poe of their meeting with Luke and Leia. 

"We'll talk more later, I promise that." You nod and return to putting your shoes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	49. Fugitive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An update on a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in italics since this is third person and revolves around ciro.

_Sand... She doesn't want to admit how much she missed the sand, especially now during the sandstorm. Her sister heats some water, listening for the door. Her husband is due home soon. "Ciro, help me with this!" The girl stands, listening as the wind beats against the thin walls. Her sister holds a large bag of some sort of grain and they rest it on the table._

_"How long you think it will last?" Ciro asks, as her sister opens the bag._  
_"Not long. Why? Are you scared?"_  
_She sticks her nose in the air, "No! But I'm supposed to be going out soon, Nyala."_  
_"I'm surprised the Resistance is making a soldier outta you." Her sister coos as she puts a cup full of grain in the pot._  
_"It's the most I can do. Besides, I don't want to live in a galaxy ruled by the First Order after all they've done."_  
_Her sister sighs, nodding. "Of course."_

_Knocking at the door shake the walls further and the sisters share glances. Ciro moves to the back room, shedding her resistance vest and putting it under the mattress while her sister goes to the door. Wanted wasn't an adjective Ciro would use for herself, but as of recent... She grabs the tan scarf and wraps it around her hair. She'd have to leave here soon. Nyala and her husband didn't need this drama. She kicks some of the dirt on the ground rubbing her face to help change her appearance the best she could. In the other room, she hears her sister. "Come in, come in! The storm will pass soon. Kya!" Ciro freezes in front of the mirror, her sister calling her by the alias she gave her. She takes a deep breath. Hopefully they wouldn't know it was her. All she had to do was be a helpful servant and keep her mouth shut._

_Their perfect snow white uniforms were scuffed and tanned by the relentless sand. "We won't keep you long ma'am." The taller one says, holding his blaster. Nyala's hands rest on her belly, while she stares. "Can I ask why you're here?" She's trying not to panic, her eyes going from the weapons to her sister who comes in wearing one of their mother's garbs. She doesn't look like Resistance right now at least._

_"We're looking for fugitives of the First Order."  
"Fugitives?" Her sister asks going to Ciro. "Kya," she lowers her voice changing to their native tongue, "the rice will burn by the time they go. Get rid of them please." Ciro nods. _

_"What did she say?" Ciro frowns, afraid her voice will give her away. "She's worried about her rice. It's bad luck if it burns, sir." Ciro answers, hiding her hands, a lump forming in her throat._

_"Go to your rice then." The shorter one responds pushing Nyala with the barrel of his blaster hard. She falls forward, on her knees, grateful her hands went down first. Ciro pushes the blaster away, going to her sister's side. "Nyala! Are you okay?" She nods, as Ciro helps her to her feet.  
"I'm fine... We're fine..." She winces, her hand going to her back. _

_"Was that necessary?" Ciro asks, trying not to get too angry. The two don't answer, only hold their blasters tighter as Nyala finds a chair to sit in. "We don't have any fugitives here. Only me, my sister and her husband."  
"Where is he?" _

_"At work!" Ciro clenches her fist. "You've done enough here. I would like it very much if you left." She bows her head slightly, hating how formal she has to be._

_The troopers stare a moment longer, noticing how her hair came forward just a little. She lifts her head to lead them to the door, but meets the butt of the taller's blaster. "Resistance scum." Ciro holds her head for a moment before she's flipped on her back. How did they know? She wants to ask, but she sees the shorter one making their way to Nyala._

_"Please don't hurt her!" She cries, struggling under the weight of the other. They don't, only saying something Ciro could make out. The former lifts her up, and starts to lead her out. "Thank you for your cooperation ma'am." He says before leaving the small hut. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! hopefully i can get another chapter in w/o waiting three weeks or so lol :')  
> Also tumblr update: im now [baebaeate](http://baebaeate.tumblr.com/). there's a redirect link for heywhatsupimpoe just in case ppl forget too. and again thank u~~


	50. Alone, Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friend returns and wants her family safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very long jsyk. um. nsfw in the middle/end. also the title is another song. it's by the strokes in case u were wondering lol

He doesn't come by when he said he would. You barely notice, spending your time deflecting questions from Altair and reading. For the most part, you are alone. Medics coming and going, so many things to prepare, for a select few. You're on a section about blood, trying to keep your focus and your squirms low. You don't want the others to know how squeamish you really were. It's still a secret that you got sick when you saw Poe injured and he wasn't that bad. You flip the next page with a loud whip of the paper, relieved to see that it was a new chapter not about blood. You take a small break, feeling you deserved to take a little walk around med bay. As long as you didn't impede the packing and preparing process, you're golden. You try to clear your mind, but end up focusing on what you should do for the next couple of days while you still have Poe, and the small time he has you.

You toss out all your ideas about leaving the planet; he would need to save all his resources for the mission. You scratch your head, trying to figure something out. Were you really that boring when it came to relationships? There's not much to do on base especially with everyone on edge, but you couldn't give up hope just yet. You still have two days before he goes.

When you arrive back to the deemed study room, you notice a person sitting at the far corner of the table, head down. You don't bother them, guessing they're using the room to catch up on some sleep. Quietly, you sit back down and open your book to the new chapter. For a quick moment, you ponder going to get some actual paper or something to write down notes, but stay where you are. This chapter is on the brain and the neurological activities that happen, specifically in Twi'leks, humans, and beyond.

The person lifts their head, groaning and rubbing their eyes. They remove the hood from their head and look up at the light. You try not to stare, letting them have their few minutes. You can however feel that they're looking at you and you try your absolute best to stay focused on this chapter.

"(A/N)?" You glance over, since they knew you. Though their face is obscured by their mess of hair, you recognize them right away. "Ciro?"

Both of you leave your seats and hurry to each other. She rests her face in your shoulder as you pat her back. You can't discern whose sob belongs to whom, but you don't care. She's back and that's all that matters... But why now? You pull her from your shoulder to take a good look at her through your bleary eyes. You catch yourself gawking at her new hair length, brimming just above her shoulders. You also notice the subtle bronzing of her face; Tatooine barely has trees for shelter from the sun.

"What are you doing here?" You ask, wiping your eyes quickly before brushing away the tears going down her cheeks.

"I... Asked for a transfer." She bites her lip, straining to keep her bottom lip from quivering but to no avail.

"A transfer? Are you alright? Is your family alright? What's wrong?" You pull out one of the chairs for her to sit. You sit beside her, wanting to get to the answers before she told you. She runs her hands through her hair before placing a few strands behind her ear, revealing a canvas of scratches and a horrid gash right on her temple. Something terrible must have happened. Why didn't you stop her from going?

"I almost got captured! It was terrifying! I couldn't do it again. I don't know how people do it day in and day out! And then I heard that the First Order doesn't take prisoners, usually. So you know I had to get out of there." Tears fall from her sad eyes and she wipes them quickly. "But other than that. Seeing my family was fine... But you have to get away sometimes right?"

"Are you sure they're fine? Your head! Has it been treated?" You don't touch it to keep more infections from starting. Instead you take her chin in your hand and examine it. She winces, but lets you check. She must have seen your uniform and the new badge you earned.

"They're going to be okay... They know how to take care of themselves." Ciro replies once you're done. "I think they treated in the freighter on the way here, but I..." Her voice trails off and she covers her face with her hands. New sobs wrack her body and you wrap your arms around her. You're unsure what comfort to give her besides some painkillers for that injury and a place to rest, which she already has.

"I'm so happy you're alive and here," you coo, petting her hair and shoulder. She shakes her head, lifting up. She opens her mouth to say something, but returns her head to her hands. "I'll be right back okay?" She nods and you leave the room to find tissues and a medical kit.

Hands go to your waist as you're getting the kit down. You frown, now isn't a good time for this. "I'm sorry I'm late. Got caught up in an interesting conversation with Master Skywalker. He's got so much useful information we can use to defeat the--Were you crying? Love are you okay?" You nod, holding the kit. "I am. But it's been a very long day and I think it's going to be longer." He presses his lip against your forehead and sighs. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

* * *

 

Ciro's head is against the table again, the injured part touching. You kick yourself for not bringing an ice pack. She'd get it more infected with resting there. She lifts her head only for a moment when she sees you and Poe.

"He didn't have to come." She says, putting her head back down.

"He wanted t--"

"I want to make sure you're okay. (A/N) didn't tell me much, but they think something is wrong. Is something wrong?"

You take the tissues from his hands and give them to your friend. She sits up since you're near, her eyes nearly red from all the crying. You can't imagine what she's been through.

"My family turned me into the First Order. I know why they did it. Nyala is pregnant and I could have gotten them killed. But my own family. My own blood." You take the field generator and place it against her temple. She winces again, but stares straight at the Commander. "I only got to escape because of the sandstorm. It took forever to get rid of those restraints, but I found an ally who let me stay until the others found me. And I left."

"Did you tell your superior what happened?" You take out bandage wrap, continuing to dress the wound.

"Not all of it." She looks away, "I'm not going to criminalize my family Commander."

"You can call me Poe."

Ciro glances over at you before looking back at him. "Okay."

He sits across from you two, thinking. Your friend gets antsy since neither of you are saying anything. You finish wrapping the injury and cringe. The bandage bunches up her hair at her ears, making strands stand out. She needs to take a refresher before you rewrapped to a style she'd like.

"I would have done the same thing." Poe says, his face still serious. "But you do realize that you put them in more danger now that you escaped?"

Her eyes widen and she turns to you. "Why did you have to bring him in here?"

"He wanted to come!" You chide, fixing her hair the best you could.

"He's blaming me for my family's decision."

"I'm not." Poe shakes his head, adding, "Your family made that decision, but they have to deal with the consequences." You take a deep breath, trying to remain calm as they have a deadly stare down.

"Is there a way that we can get them out of there?" You ask with a warm smile.

His eyes soften, scratching his chin. "I can see what I can do, but our resources are still stretched."

"Just contact the unit that's still in Tatooine. I can give exact coordinates on where they stay. Hell, some of them might know without them." Ciro says, her hand going to the wrapped injury.

"We'll see then."

Ciro stands, shaking her head. "I'm going to go find my room. I'll talk to you later, (A/N)." When she reaches the archway, she looks over at Poe. "They better be alive, Dameron."

* * *

You collapse on the table once she's gone. "That was too much!" You cry, though the table muffles your voice. Poe wipes his face and sighs. "I didn't know she would be on the defensive. Does she not like me? Did you tell her things?"

"What things?" You ask, packing up the medical kit.

"I don't know. She just doesn't like me."

"It could just be the situation," you reply, hoping that it was just the situation.

"I'll put in word to the Tatooine station, but that's all I can do right now."

"As long as you try your best, it will be enough. For me at least. I can talk to Ciro."

"Thank you." He flips through your book, making different expressions at the graphic pages.

"Are you done for the day?" You ask, remembering that long list BB-8 had for him.

"I'm hiding out." He winks and motions for you to come over. You shake your head. "Let's get lost then."

You take the long way back to your room with all the twists and turns. Poe's behind you, holding your hand. "This way is too long." He says when you reach your door. "BB-8 won't know it."

"How do you know?"

"Because I made it up just now." He laughs.

Altair is not there, thank the maker, and you sit on your bed. He sits beside you, kissing you gently. You touch his cheek and lie back on your unmade blankets. He lies down too and rests his hand on your waist. "So other than your friend returning, how was your day?"

You shrug, "I learned about blood and a little bit about different brain activities."

"Tell me about them, favored scholar."

You roll so your back faces him. "I didn't take notes." He lifts his head so it rests on yours. "Didn't take notes? How will you retain the information?"

You scrunch your nose up, taking his hand in yours. "I know... I didn't feel like it today. I can always reread. It was just me back there anyway."

"Where were the others?"

"Packing."

"I see."

You roll back to your back and look up at him. "You _will_ make sure her family is fine right? She's the closest thing I have to family left and I don't want her to think her family dying is her fault." He closes his eyes, eyebrow furrowed. "I can see what I can do."

He bends his knee, propping himself up on his elbow. His hand moves between your thighs, rubbing the area. "Can I take your mind off of it for a little bit?" You make a face, opening your legs for him. "Only because I haven't seen you in a while."

He leans down, catching your lips with his, his hand continuing the movement. You knit your eyebrows together, missing his touch. He goes to your waistband, undoing the buttons and slipping under. You moan at the contact as he removes his mouth. You lift your bottom and shrug the pants off; he takes off his jacket. He pushes your underwear to the side, barely touching the exposed skin underneath. You nuzzle his neck feeling the first finger slip inside. You buck your hips against his hand. He readjusts, moving between your thighs. Your heart skips beats as you wait for his warm mouth.

"Is your door locked?" He asks mid stroke, adding an extra finger.

You lift yourself up on your elbows. "I don't know?" You don't want to think about it, only him. "You want me to check?" You bite your lip shaking your head. "I'll be quiet." He chuckles, removing his fingers. "Then let me hide."

He slips under the covers and so do you, hiding your tossed bottoms under as well. You bite your lip again, trying to stay quiet as he trails kisses down your midriff and lower. His warm breath against your skin causes a wave of goosebumps to rise. Once he's under, you feel a nip on your inner thigh. Your breathing hitches when you feel the warm against your core. His mouth wastes no time, kissing the sensitive area with a quiet smack. You gasp, as his tongue begins a particular pattern, his fingers digging into your hips. You strain against him, pushing your hips closer.

You lift the cover so you can see him. He only glances up at the new light, hovering his mouth. You put the cover back down, trying your best to stay quiet and not to squeeze your legs around his head. His tongue teases your entrance. You cover your mouth, gluing your eyes to the door. You hope that no one comes in, that your roommate is too busy to come. Your hands go to his head above the covers, gently petting the fabric. "You're doing great." You say with slight buck of your hips. He laughs against your thigh. You close your eyes tight as he returns his mouth.

After a few moments, he comes up, kissing your neck making his way to your lips. You wrap your arms around his neck, before bringing them down to undo his buckle. He helps you take his pants off, shrugging them down to his knees. You start to switch places you hear footsteps at the door. He moves closer to the wall, bringing the covers over his head and you prop your pillows in his place, and quickly reach for your journal.

Altair comes in, tired. He yawns, tossing his ID on his bed before lying down face first on his pillows. "I'm going to need to sleep through the next few days if I'm supposed to be well rested for this thing." You feel curious hands and fingers at your hips and more. You try courageously to ignore it, giving your roommate a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry Altair..." You take a deep breath, feeling his hand return to its early position. You in return lift your leg to give him more access. "You'll do so...So fine."

He doesn't look over at you, rolling on his side facing his wall. "I just hope I come back alive. You know this is so dangerous!" You nod, squeezing your journal. You hate him, Poe. You hate him so much.

"But if you believe.... You... can do it..." You rest the diary against the lower half of your face as he quickens his pace.

Altair rolls to look over at you; there's more he wants to complain about. You go back to your normal reading pose, leg still up for Poe. "I mean, I came here because I have to pack certain items, personal items you know. But I'm so tired. All I want to do is sleep. I mean, it's so tiring. I don't know how I'll handle it, the real thing."

You try to listen but the discoloration in your knuckles show you're holding on too tight and you are so close. You start to hate Altair too. "What do you do you need to pack?"

He sits up, checking his breast pocket before his frown deepens. "Are you kidding me..." He mumbles. He stands, shaking his head. "I left my itinerary... I'll be back."

When he leaves, Poe comes up, giving you a quick peck. "Lock the door." You oblige, shaky on your legs as you lock the door behind him. You know he will be angry when he comes back you notice he left his ID on his bed. You slip under the covers, taking his previous position. He brings two fingers to your lips as you hover above his groin. You close your eyes as you suck on the two digits tasting yourself. Holding his arm, you remove the fingers.

"We should hurry so I can unlock the door when he comes back."

Poe pouts, shaking his head. "I don't want to hurry..." You come up, kissing his cheek. Hiding under the covers messed with his curls. You tuck a stray one behind his ear, whispering, "We have two more days..."

He continues to whine, "But I love you."

You laugh, crawling back down. "I'll take my time then, but you're going to have to explain to him why he couldn't get into his room."

"Bet."

He pushes the covers from your shoulders, eyes hungry to watch. You pull his underwear down, revealing he's already half hard. You bring your lips to the tip, giving it a small kiss. You sigh, holding the base. "What would you be doing if you hadn't come to me?"

He groans, seeing that taking your time meant wasting and teasing his. "Probably doing something for BB-8 you know... Maybe packing like your roommate."

"You are packing." You wink, before slowing taking him halfway. He tosses his head back, running his hand through his hair. He curses when you remove your mouth. "Did you ask about your old stuff at D'Qar?"

Poe rests back on your pillows. "Yes. They're going to send someone to get things... (A/N)..."

You smile kissing the tip again. "I like hearing you beg."

"I noticed," he replies, lifting himself back up.

Your lips part as you go down to the base. He cries out, squeezing your sheets. You readjust when you come up, resting your hands on his thighs, lightly dancing your fingertips towards his balls. They barely reach him, but he still twitches nonetheless, his hand palming your hair. You flick your eyes up. Poe's eyes are half shut; he forms words but doesn't make a sound. You bring your attention back down, peppering his shaft with kisses before coming back up, licking him. Frustrated, he begins to give you a rhythm, his grip tightening in your hair. You moan against him, holding on to his hips, rubbing your own thighs together for some relief.

"Getting greedy again..." You slur, wiping your mouth. Lifting your head, you make a trail of kisses from his chest down to his hips. You rub his member, resting your head on his hip, not wanting to admit that your mouth got tired. He doesn't ask, nor do you think he cares at the moment. With your other hand, you stuff two fingers inside yourself. You want him terribly. You kiss his pelvis, lifting yourself to kiss his thighs, everywhere but his waiting member. You continue to pump him until his hand goes to yours.

"I'm so close, babe." You smile, coming up. "Good."

You sit up, turning around, mostly to watch the door. His hands go to your waist as you slowly come down. Your toes curl when he's in all the way. "Are you comfortable?" He asks, tensing under you. You nod, taking your uniform top off. You lift your hips, his hands now going up to your chest. Coming down, you moan, trying not to close your eyes. You want to watch the door, anxious that he'll come back. You know Poe can handle the situation--if it arrives--easily, but it still makes you nervous. Your hand goes to his playing with your sensitive nipple.

After a quick minute, he ditches your chest, going to your hips. You're going too slow. He sets the pace, your skin meeting his with audible smacks. You lean forward, for some sort of leverage. His grip is tight and you can tell by his grunts this position is too much. You cry his name, leaning forward feeling so much better. You squeeze the sheets, closing your eyes finally.

"I want to see your face. Let me see your face." He lets go of your hips, patting your bottom.

You roll to your side, watching as he goes to his knees. He tosses his shirt off now wiping his forehead.

"How did he not see your jacket?" You ask, noticing that he tossed it on the ground first. Poe doesn't answer, only coming down for a kiss. "Don't think about it..." He smiles, kissing you again.

"Did you think of me like this?" Your flushed face and quick glances away give him his answer. "How did you want me?"

You laugh, holding his chin. "I just wanted you back by my side." Your smile widens when he rests his forehead against yours.

"Just wanted me by your side... Is this what you want?" You nod, moving your arms to embrace him. "I want you."

He grinds his hips against your own, only moving to lift his hips when doesn't enter right away. You both moan at the contact and he quickly resumes his pace from earlier. You close your eyes, holding on to the covers. You missed the way he fills you. His eyebrows knit together murmuring your name. He slows, holding on to the pillow behind your head. He goes to your ear, sucking on the lobe. You buck your hips slightly, getting closer. He lets go of your ear and sloppily kissing your lips.

"I love you so much." You whimper, his thrusts getting faster. "I love you too." He brushes your hair back, rolling his hips. A small moan escapes your lips.

"There?" He asks, your hands going to the side of his face.

"Yes..." He rolls his hips again, watching as you scrunch your face up.

You arch your back, turning your face to the wall. You were getting close, so close. He groans, lifting your leg a little higher. His free hand squeezes your breast. "I love you baby."

"I love you so much."

You quickly glance at the door, knowing you're close, so close, but not sure how much time has passed, not sure when he'd be back. He comes back down, testing your leg's flexibility as he kisses you again, going to your lips to your cheek to your chin to the other cheek. You grin at the affection, cooing his name. He returns to above, closing his eyes. "I'm so close... Can I..." You nod, knowing what he's going to ask.

He picks up his pace, leaning down and resting his forehead against yours again. "I love you so much, honey." He kisses you hard in response, cradling your hips, grinding his. You feel the warmth and hear the door. You close your eyes, wishing that he would have came earlier and the other one to come later. You try to quiet your own, as he slows, holding you close. He rolls over once he's done and tries to steady his breathing. You giggle, watching Poe run his hand through his hair.

"Ready to tell him?" He puts his hand up, shaking his head. "Can I catch my breath first?" You grab your discarded shirt and Poe hands you your pants. You wish you would have put out one of your slips so he wouldn't hear the drawers opening. The knocking doesn't stop however, while you try to fix your hair.

"You look beautiful... So beautiful..." You laugh, unlocking the door.

Altair is upset when the door opens. "What happened to the door? I left it unlocked because I was coming righ--" He sees Poe, bottom half covered, and your sloppy dress.

"Really? Really (A/N)?" He points at Poe and then you. "Right now? In the middle of the day?" You and the Commander both shrug, you giving him the look. He did say he would tell Altair.

"We don't have that much time and..." Poe starts to smile, to patch the situation. "It won't happen again, I can promise you that pal."

"Good."

"We've got my room."

You and Altair both glare at him with that comment. Your glare is more out of embarrassment; Altair's out of disgust. "Well... Are you two done?" You see the defeat his eyes as he sits on his bed. You nod adding.

"Poe has to get dressed and then we'll be out of your hair... I still have to study."

"I still have planning."

"And Ciro."

"And Ciro..."

He stares at both of you in disbelief before grabbing some clothes from his drawer. "Be gone before I come back from the refresher..." You both nod and he leaves.

You hand Poe his shirt while he shrugs his bottoms on. "That was more awkward that I thought..." He grumbles. You chuckle, "What did you expect? We locked him out of his room."

"Would he have preferred to walk in on such an intimate moment?" You fix your vest and your hair and he puts on his shirt.

"I've missed you so much. So much." He gets out of your bed, and wraps his arms around your waist.

"I missed you too. So much." You turn, resting your head against his chest. "I love you."

"I love you too." You notice the jacket on the ground and smirk. "Can I wear it?"

"Wear what?" He glances down, raising his eyebrow. "Your jacket."

He steps back, picking it up. You would give it back later. You assume that you would be spending your nights with him until he left. You don't complain, wanting to anyway. If it wasn't the case, you'd be slightly offended. Only slightly. He wraps the leather flight jacket around you and brings you close to him.

"Fine. I'm going to run out of jackets if I keep giving them away."

"I'll give it back to you." You reply, putting your arms in the appropriate sleeves. It's too big for you but not too visibly. His arms are longer than yours. You embrace him, bringing him down for a final kiss.

* * *

You walk him to the hangar where BB-8 waits. The droid rolls over as soon as he sees Poe, starting a quick lecture on disappearing when he notices you in the jacket. "He said I could wear it." You say, your arm around his waist. You're not ready to say goodbye not even for the moment.

"They look good in it right, buddy?" He chirps in agreement before rolling off. They have work to do and could play with you later. Poe sighs before giving you a quick peck. "I'll come get you. And tell your roommate I'm sorry." You shake your head and smile, "Okay. I'll be waiting."

You try your best to stay mellow, but your mood is to the moon, wearing his jacket, knowing what you two just did... You hide your big grin with his sleeve. Ciro comes out of nowhere, bumping you. "His jacket now?" She's fixed the bandage so it doesn't mess up her hair.

"He's letting me borrow it." You shove your hands in the pocket, really trying to play it cool now. You can't gauge from her demeanor if she would be like before on D'Qar or if she would want updates from Tatooine.

"You look adorable," she replies dryly.

"Thanks." She sits at an empty table and sighs.

"Did he do it yet?"

"Do what?"

"Contact the unit!" You shake your head, flustered.

"What did he do all this tim--" She glowers, "Really?" You look away, not wanting to talk about it. "Why? Why now?"

"Because he's leaving again. He just came back and he's leaving again." Your voice is a little louder than you expect and Ciro flinches. "That's why? My family doesn't have that kind of time, (A/N)."

"I'm sorry." You look around, hoping to see someone of rank around. Maybe you could do it for him. It's the least you can do since you did waste time. She rolls her eyes, crossing her arms. "I hope he's worth it." You don't like this Ciro, missing your friend from before. You miss her warm smile and the jokes and how she wanted her own girlfriend to love.

"Don't be like that." You say, standing.

"Be like what? Wanting him to do his job?" You frown before walking away. You have to find someone.

Ciro follows behind, hating when you just leave without telling her at least. Walking down a larger hall you see an old friend. He stands talking to his friend who holds his hands.

"Finn!"

They both turn when they see you and Ciro. "Oh, (A/N)." He doesn't address Ciro. She doesn't look like she did before with her long hair. He smiles warmly when he sees you. Rey is official Jedi robes, her hair braided in the front but left down in the back. She's still so pretty, you think and you know Ciro is staring.

"Can I ask you a favor?" He frowns, looking to you and your friend. "Is everything okay? Is Poe okay?"

You raise your eyebrows, "What? He's fine. It's for Ciro." His eyes are on your jacket, Poe's jacket. "He's letting me borrow it."

The new Jedi nods slowly and then looks at Ciro. "Ciro? You look absolutely terrible. Rey, this is my friend Ciro. She's from... Not Jakku. The other sand planet."

"Tatooine." Ciro recoils after saying the name. You want to hug her, but stay where you are.

"I think I've heard of Tatooine." Rey says, tapping her chin. "Master Luke is from Tatooine. So is his father."

"His father? Darth Vader?"

She nods and then takes Ciro's hands. "It's nice to meet you." Finn watches a bit amazed. "What's wrong?"

Ciro quickly explains the situation, her eyes glancing at the hand hold with Rey. "Poe said he would send word to the unit that's still there for my family, but he hasn't yet and every moment passed is a moment wasted." Her eyes shoot to you before going to Finn and Rey. Rey's hands tighten and she nods fervently.

"Family... We need to go right away." She lets go of Ciro and takes Finn's hand and leads him away. "We'll be back Ciro. Don't worry!" Ciro watches as they disappear down the hall.

She glances at you and then at the ground. "Rey..."

"Hmm?" You put your arm around her shoulders, knowing that she still will worry until they come back with some update. "She's much prettier than I remembered. And her hair... And her robes..." You hear the dreaminess in her voice and smile. Slowly she's coming back. "No wonder Finn was all about her... Is all about her. If she wasn't his..." She covers her face, shaking her head. "What am I going to do?"

You laugh, leading her back to the center. "What you always do." She looks over at you, a deep confusing in her eyes.

"I've been through so much the past few weeks, I don't remember right now." Your heart instantly breaks and you bring her in for a long hug. She hugs you back, not nearly as tight as yours. She sighs, scratching at her bandage. "I think I'm going to go nap. Hopefully this will all be a bad dream."

You sigh, patting her back. "It's going to be okay. I'll promise I'll do better next time."

"Please." Ciro says, holding your hands before going to her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading and thanks again for my beta reader :'))))))) also woo chapter 50 ;-;


	51. Grown Up Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More updates from Ciro and Poe. The reader is conflicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [a song for the title.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xM7P4Tv5dPA) a long one. a nsfw one. but i hope u like it.  
>  prompt fill: “Hang on, hang on, we’re gonna fall off the bed–” witg Poe Dameron. Everyone acts like those Rebal base beds are big enough for two people but trust me a single and a cot are both hard to fuck and sleep on - anonymous. 
> 
> Rest in kriffin' pieces.

You see Ciro when you're getting dinner. She sits alone, her eyes still shifty, but she does look a bit rested. You sit down across from her while she's taking a bite. "You know, I started to miss the base food in Tatooine. But only when I wasn't with my family. Have you had rations before?"

You nod, "Poe gave me one once."

"Terrible... This is actually worth something I suppose." She shrugs, staring at your plate and then Poe's jacket.

"Did you study?" She asks.

"A little bit. I helped pack actually. Only a few nurses are going, but they still expect causalities." You both grimace and look away from each other.

"I hope they all come back safe... It's hard you know. And almost being one."

"What are you doing now?"

"The Major said that I'll be a tech now, and specialize in helping the Tatooine unit. I suppose I can do that."

"Better than washing dishes."

She sticks her tongue out, "I guess."

Poe sits beside you, his brow furrowed. Ciro's eyes narrow slightly and you check her tray to see if she'd hurry up and eat and run off. You didn't want that for their relationship. "They've been contacted, twice."

"And?"

He glances over at you before hesitating. You both assume the worse, you turning and clutching at your necklace and Ciro's eyes brimming with tears. "The First Order has the household under their thumb. We're assuming that they expect you to come back. But you're here. I'm going to also assume that they're under a time constraint and if you don't come, it might be safe to--"

"There's still something more we can do." Ciro interrupts, pushing her hood back. "We have to be able to go in and help!"

"I'll leave it up to them. I'm so sorry, Ciro."

She looks at you to help, say something, anything to make him try harder. "Can you persuade them? We can't have an innocent family slaughtered because the Resistance couldn't help."

He stiffens at your statement. "I'm not saying we're not trying. We are trying. But we have to be mindful that the First Order doesn't care about who is at stake." He rubs his chin, looking down.

"What about Finn and Rey? What did they say?" Ciro pipes up, looking at you and then Poe. "What?"

"Did they contact them?"

"I don't know. After I talked to the unit leader, I had a meeting with Snaps and General Organa."

She stands, "I'll go see what they said then. And if that doesn't work, I'll contact them myself." You watch as she goes and then bring your attention back to Poe.

"I hate this." Poe states, taking her spot. "Which part?"

"All of it. It's not a good situation all around. Apparently, they were already trying to protect her family. Before this, her family was a great resource to them, but Nyala is the one who went to the FO. She's pregnant and did what she thought was the best for her family... Ciro's supposed to be a prisoner, Nyala didn't want her dead. But she escaped and is here. So now, they wait for Ciro to come back, and kill her and her family anyway. So much senseless killing. For what? For others to fear them? It's sad."

You reach out and touch his hand. "I wish there was something we could do."

He only nods in response. You still hold his hand while you eat when you're joined by Karé, Jess, and Iolo.

"Look at this PDA. Even wearing his flight jacket." Iolo exclaims, sitting next to you. "Nothing wrong with that, especially if it's with someone you love." Karé winks before giving Jess a kiss on the cheek.

She giggles and shakes her head, "Hope you don't mind us joining you."

Poe's face brightens by the appearance of his friends and you're grateful. "It's fine." His thumb brushes against your hand as he brings his hand back to his side. You sigh, as they tell him their preparations. It's the first time in a while you see him interact with his fellow pilots.

"All that matters is that we'll all come back in one piece while we leave the First Order in pieces." Iolo flashes a cheeky smile while Karé curls her top lip up. "Or we can just handicap them of a resource and make it our own."

"We have to be careful... We don't know how big of an army they have now. Any wrong move could be death on our side."

You just listen, having no spoons in the battle besides hoping that they would have enough medical supplies.

"So Commander, how has your day been?"

"Long. BB-8 barely gave me time to breathe."

"Where is the little round droid anyway?" Jess asks, looking around.

"Checking the Black One over again. He should be here soon anyway." He sighs, relaxing back. "I'm looking forward to sleeping." You chuckle at the statement, ignoring the look Iolo and Karé give you. "What about you guys?"

They spent their day upgrading, sometimes helping each other. "That's good to hear. I'm lucky to have the best on my squadron." Poe's face looks so exhausted in a split second before smiling at you. "And what about your day?"

You smile back, "After I left you, they made me pack more medical packs, and then I studied a little bit."

"How many packs are they making?" Jess inquires. "I don't know exactly. Every pilot will have three at max, and the fighters will have less, because of space, but the nurses that are coming will have the rest to replenish."

"This is the first mission where they're coming. It's exciting yet nerve-racking too!" Iolo scratches his head. "In it for the long run I guess," Karé replies, shaking her head. "We'll do our best, show them what we're made of like we always do, right?"

They all nod and then start individual conversations. "Are you done with your long list yet?" You ask before taking one last bite. "One more thing, but I think I'll do it tomorrow. It's not pressing anyway."

"Will you be free tomorrow if you do today?"

He thinks for a moment, "Probably not."

"So busy, Mr. Dameron."

"I am the Commander, (A/N)." You wink as he finishes.

You make your way to the trash chute, Poe following. Heat rises to your cheeks, especially burning where he gives you a quick peck while you wait in line. You hope no one notices how flustered you are.

"On lighter news, I'm asking to see if you can be my roommate." Your eyes widen and you grip your tray tightly, knowing your state is more apparent. For what reason?"

"So we won't have a moment like earlier." You scrunch up your nose. "And then also, I love sleeping around you. I think I sleep better that way."

You roll your eyes, "Bull." You dump your tray, smirking at the comment.

"It's true..." His arm rests around your waist when you walk out. "I'll let you know if it gets approved though."

Major Brance approaches, a weary expressing on his face. "Commander, can we talk?" "Of course." He gives you another quick kiss on the cheek before going with Brance.

You make your way to your room, figuring you'd pack another overnight pack. On your way, you see Ciro. Her back is to you and she's talking to a hologram. You don't know the person, but they look upset. They're speaking in a language you've heard before, from Ciro's parents. You almost pass her, but hide behind a wall when she looks around hearing your footsteps. You can decipher a few words from the one time Ciro taught you a few words. They're family to Ciro, whoever they are, but not with her sister. That'd be really detrimental if she decided to contact them. She looks over her shoulder again before ending the conversation. You hesitate in coming out as she closes her communicator and stuffs it in her pocket. When she starts walking, you leave your spot and continue on your way.

You're humming some song you think Poe sang once when you round the corner. A hand covers your mouth and pulls you to into a room. You attempt to bite and lick the hand, a little sibling trick you learned growing up, and kick out. When the door closes, Ciro lets you go, wiping her hand on her pants. "Are you spying on me?" She yells, pointing at you.

"No! Why would I?"

"Then why were you hiding?" You falter, as she paces. "Did your boyfriend tell you to?"

"No. I just! I wanted to give you privacy. Figured you want that."

She brings her hood down, shaking her head. "Privacy," she spits, crossing her arms. "I was talking to my uncle. He's going to visit my sister tomorrow. She asked for him. He's going to break her out. Attempt to anyway. She doesn't want to give birth around the First Order. She thinks they'll take her child away."

"Who told your uncle that she called for him though?" She shrugs at the question, "We have our ways. Sent a secret message through the rats." You frown and she continues. "He was asking where to find the Resistance and I told him I couldn't tell him that in case his line is tapped. All I told him was to look for the man who helped me..." She relaxes back against the wall, closing her eyes.

"That's good. Hopefully it will work out for them, for you."

She opens her eyes, so sad suddenly. "I should have just went with the First Order. Wait for a rescue... Then I wouldn't have to worry about my family." You touch her shoulder, which she brushes off. "I cannot wait for this war to be over." You nod, figuring your words would reach her deaf ears.

You both leave together, her eyes forward. You glance at her bandage, knowing it'd have to be changed tomorrow. When she catches you staring, she pulls her hood up. You reach your room first. She doesn't say a word, not even a wave. It stings and you wish Sabik was here to talk to Ciro. Make her stop blaming you and herself.

* * *

After making your bed with clean sheets and packing your bag, you sit and wait for Poe. Brooding over your friend is not what you want to do, but you find yourself brainstorming ideas to make things better. A flash of a memory, back home. You're at your old house in your room, planning your futures. You lie with your head against hers, the top of your head against her shoulder and hers the same. She keeps her eyes open while yours close. She envisions herself on some green planet with a lot of animals with her significant other. You could see it for her then. She'd be happy, and keep in contact with you often. You giggle as she tells you how she won't have sticky children to run after and monitor, just animals. For you, there's the university, a nice person is there for you but you can't describe them in detail like Ciro (taller than her, dark hair with pretty light eyes. They can speak more languages than her and they love animals a lot). You're content with your small quiet life. She asks if you'll have children, and you hesitated even then. You shrug with a quick 'I don't know. I don't want them to be sticky and hard to handle.' You both erupt in laughter and the memory fades away.

You wonder if that will come true once this war is all over. You can see it, the quiet life with you and Poe and BB-8. But your job changes. No longer a teacher, you are a nurse. You're okay with this and smile to yourself. You wonder what Ciro would do now. Grimacing, you conclude that whatever she chooses to do, it will be after the outcome of her sister's situation.

The knock at the door brings you back to base as you stand. You smile when you see it's Poe. He matches your smile, with a happy chirping coming from BB-8. "You ready?" You nod and follow them to their room. Poe cheerfully tells you about the updates they've found, BB-8 beeping additional information, and then he turns to face you. "You're being really quiet. Is everything alright?"

"Ciro gave me an update too."

In his room, you sit on the edge of his bed while he sits across from you in the desk chair. You tell him as much as you knew, leaving out the part where she called you a spy and the small call out of Poe's character. You still didn't know why she didn't like Poe.

"That worries me... We have to be careful who we call, and especially in her situation. It's very likely they have her uncle pegged too." You lie back, feeling BB-8 gently bump into your foot. He beeps quietly. "BB-8 is right. Don't worry as much about it. Leave that to me, Ciro, and everyone else involved."

"But she's like my sister." You say, sitting up. You ignore as your hair falls down on your face. He pushes the extra strands away, cupping your face. "I'm going to do all I can. You know that." His eyes are stern, but his smile is still warm. You pout looking away at BB-8, idly rolling. Poe lets go of your face and relaxes back in his chair.

"On a different note, that you might like..." He claps his hands, leaning forward. You like the way his smile widens and you already know what the news is. You don't tell him though, not wanting this look to dissipate. It's such a nice change from earlier and all the frowning even from you. "On the way to get you, we ran into the person in charge of rooming and--"

BB-8 squeals, interrupting. You would be their new roommate-- "But not right away. 'Paper work.' But still." You grin, watching as Poe matched BB-8's enthusiasm. "When will this be my room 'officially?'"

Poe taps his chin while BB-8 thinks about it. "They'll probably tell you. I won't be here though," he chuckles to himself, "A welcome back gift I'd love."

You roll your eyes, looking towards the door. "What about my roommate?"

"He'll have the room to himself again."

"He really liked having a roommate, well before last night... And today."

"He'll get over it. It's in your medical books anyway."

"Are we trying to reproduce, Commander Dameron?"

He balks and pales at the question, shock in his eyes and the way his mouth has opened. After a few quick moments, he starts laughing. "W-what are you talking about?" You shake your head, laughing with him.

"Nothing, never mind."

He touches your knee, a big smile still up. "No no, tell me." You shake your head still, lying back in his bed, no... Your bed.

"C'mon, (A/N). You brought it up. Spill it."

His fingers dance on your thighs, the tips dancing close to your inner thigh moving back to your knee when you move your leg. You look down at him, watching as he moves forward, his face coming down to your stomach. Your fingers run through his curls, feeling the warm kisses being pressed against your shirt. They trail lower, your legs trying to move up. You hesitate since you're not entirely alone. You tug at his hair, seeing the slight irritation in his eyes.

"What about..." He rests his head on your stomach, again, though this time facing his droid. "Buddy. Can we get some alone time?"

BB-8 beeps, rolling out. Humans...

He resumes his kisses, connecting to your sensitive area. You moan out, kicking your legs up. "I doubt you'll leave this room after this..." He whispers, kissing you again. "Mmm, why?" You start unbuttoning your pants.

Poe chuckles, "A wet mark in such an interesting area..." He leaves his seat, moving up to kiss your lips. You hold his face, your tongue opening his mouth and tracing his teeth. He readjusts, slipping his hand between your thighs. He pulls away, watching as you whine. His finger presses against your clit. "Still sensitive from earlier?" He asks. You roll your eyes again, bringing his face down again for a quick peck. He pulls away, slipping a finger inside. Your knees come up, squeezing around his wrist. "You're so cute..."

There's a loud knock on the door and you both jump. He removes his hand, bringing a finger to your lips. You suck on the digit, closing your eyes. "Who is it?" He asks in a hoarse whisper. You worry that they'll walk in, catching you two in the middle of foreplay. Beeping is the answer, BB-8. He's tired and ready to settle in. Poe presses his lips against your forehead, pulling his finger out. "We'll just be quiet tonight." He whispers, as the door opens.

You wait patiently on the bed while Poe helps BB-8 get ready to charge. "Don't overexert yourself, bud. Yes you did. You did way more than me today. And I did a lot. We won't have a lot of time like this once we're out. Gotta use all our time wisely." He smiles, patting his head. BB-8 gives him a brief list on what they still need to do before going into low power mode.

"Will he hear us regardless?"

Poe shrugs, "I don't know. I haven't done anything when he's in the room."

"Even," you drop your voice, "masturbate?"

"How old are we? Twelve? And don't you know that's how you go blind?" You cover your eyes dramatically, thrusting your chest out. "I've touched myself a few too many times according to Doctor Dameron."

He shushes you, sitting back on the bed. "You're so funny..."

He kisses you gently, his hands going to your hips. "Sit on my lap..." You pull away starting to laugh. "Your lap?" Resting his forehead against yours, he nods, "I want you so much..." You make a face, following his demands. He's quick to return his lips, his silent thank you. He squeezes your bottom, this time he parts your lips. Your tongues meet with a underlying need. You wrap your arms around his neck, messing with the curls at the nape of his neck. He guides your hips with the speed he wants, grinding carefully against you. You squeeze your eyes tight, feeling the hard on in his jeans. He moans against your lips, sloppily moving lower, sucking on your bottom lip. The grinds gain in speed, his moaning muffled by your lips. Your hands move to his at your hips, helping to control the pace. You join him in the noises, feeling close, so close.

He slows, and you pull away disappointed. "Did you--"

"No." He unbuttons his shirt, and you join him, beginning to take his jacket off. He stops you, shaking his head. "Would it be too much to ask you to undress for me?" You giggle, and oblige. Shakily you move to feet. He takes his shirt off, shrugging his pants off with a small thud of his shoes. You can see he's hard in his shorts and he doesn't give you the luxury of watching them come off, slipping under the covers. You hide a small pout, waiting on him to get settled. He nods when he's ready.

You shed his jacket while he watches, a small grin coming to his face. You lift your shirt over your head, letting it drop near the jacket. The buttons of your pants are still undone as you slip out of them. He lifts the covers once you're undressed, kissing your lips as soon as he can. His hand travels between your thighs, his fingers parting your sensitive area. You moan against him, rolling to your side. His tongue makes its way to yours, dancing inside, while his finger glide up and down against yourself. You pull away, resting your forehead on his shoulder.

"Poe..."

"Hmm?"

"Let's take a breather..."

He chuckles, removing his hand, pulling you closer. "Alright." You smile, turning to be the little spoon. "I'm tired from earlier..."

He rests his head against your back. "If I'm being honest, same here."

You roll to your back, looking up at him. "Earlier... It's in our books about reproducing and inter-species 'breeding.' That's what I meant." He touches your head, pushing your hair back. "But are we... Trying to reproduce?"

You feel your brow furrow, confused by his question. "I don't know. Maybe not."

He leans down, his lips brushing against yours. "It wouldn't be wise anyway." You say once he pulls away. He nods and you roll back on your side.

After a moment, you start giggle. You try to hold in the real laughter but let it out and he joins you. "Oh Altair's face..."

"He was so mad, and embarrassed..."

"We were the ones who were embarrassed."

"I should have listened to you, go fast. But I love taking my time." He kisses your back, the warmth of his mouth sending goosebumps down your spine. You chuckle, "You sure do..."

He playfully bites the skin, before sucking it. A silent cry escapes you, squeezing the sheets and your thighs. You think about changing your mind after that, but don't know if he's ready.

He sighs, wiping your shoulder. "Good think uniforms aren't backless."

"Why?" You ask, turning your head slightly.

"This hickey is bigger than I was expecting." You adjust so you can see his face. "I see." You tilt his face down, this time initiating the kiss. He brings your hips closer to his, but makes sure nothing happens.

"You shouldn't have bit me." You murmur against his lips.

"Why?"

"Because now I want you."

He laughs before kissing you again, lifting your hips. You break the kiss as he slowly enters you. You wail louder than you were expecting as you readjust so you're facing the same direction as him. He lifts your leg, still going at a leisurely pace. "Is this okay?" You nod, murmuring his name. He rests his head on your shoulder again, groaning in response. Your hand goes between your thighs and you begin to rub yourself. He slows, staying inside a little longer before exiting faster. Your fingers graze against his balls and he tenses, drawing out sooner. You continue this before his hand replaces yours. "Hold your leg up for me baby." Your hand keeps it up and you shut your eyes.

"Please go faster." You beg, your free hand going to his hair. He picks up the pace, just enough where you want him to go a bit faster, but not too fast making you a whimpering mess. So much for staying quiet. The bed's creakiness and the subtle slapping of skin on skin gives away your activity.

He leaves your tender nub and his hand goes up to your chest. You only open your eyes when your feel you're close to the edge. You grind your hips against his and he moans out, letting go of your chest and holding on to your hips. "Fuck... Poe. Too close."

"I'm close too baby." He sucks on your earlobe and you melt, but still try your best to stay on the bed. With his grip on your hips tightening and his pace faster, you reach out to the desk. "Poe... Love... I'm.. I'm gonna..." He quickens his thrusts, one hand reaching around and caressing you again. "I'm gonna f--"

He holds on tight to you as you almost fall out of the bed. "Shit! (A/N)!" Your feet meet the ground first and his grip on your waist keeps your top half up. You both pause. You're afraid if he lets you go, you'll fall over and he's alarmed that you've fallen out.

He guides you down and rolls so he's on top. "Are you okay?"

You nod, laughing. "I'm a little shaken, but okay overall... You?"

He leans down, using his kisses around your face to punctuate his spaces, "Why didn't you tell me you were falling?"

"I tried..."

He holds himself up, frowning. "Do you want to stop?" You consider it. You were close, but now lose all interest in continuing. "Yes."

"Okay good." He moves to his back, shaking his head. "I want to stop too. Don't want you getting hurt because of sex." After a few moments you hear him take care of himself. You roll to your side, hiding your giggles. "I could have taken care of that for you." He laughs too, "You said you were done." You rub your elbow, feeling where you bumped into the desk to keep from falling. It doesn't take him long to finish as he lets out a quiet grunt, slowing with ragged deep breathing.

"You good?" You ask, turning to face him. The corners of his lips perk up. "Mmhmm. Though it'd been nice with you."

"Maybe next time."

He leans over you, opening his drawer for small towel or something for his mess. You don't watch as he cleans himself, thinking of BB-8. You wonder if he heard anything, and if so... Poe stretches, yawning louder that necessary, snapping you out of your thoughts. "I got a long day tomorrow."

"I know..." You snuggle up to him, resting your head on his shoulder.

You stare up at the ceiling, his arm wrapping around your waist. "Baby," you lift your head up, noticing how he's already half asleep. "Hmm?"

"I'm happy I'm yours." He chuckles, pressing his lips against your forehead. "I'm happy you're mine too." You lean up, catching his mouth on the way.

"C'mon, (A/N)... Time to sleep..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for reading. next chapter will be shorter but angsty btw. and also. this is like the fifteenth chapter i've ended on a sleepy note. ;-; im a sleepy gyal.


	52. Sanctuary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and the reader talk about an elephant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this like............. months ago. so if it feels different, that's why. But i kept it bc it's so güd.... i think.. i wrote after watching inside llewyn davis lmao

The Sanctuary is a quiet open area, where the base goes around. In the middle is some tamed jungle, a small creek running through it from the outside, birds of paradise flying from above to the same nests in the trees away from predators. People utilize it for meditation, a thinking space. Doctor Kalonia set up an area where people can sit and talk or do relaxation exercises. It's one of the spots where you want to meet with Poe. You can imagine days where you two can just talk, other days, sitting near each other with the occasional hand squeeze. It's enough, but for now just fantasy. Maybe when he's not so busy, you conclude, it will become a reality.

You're doodling a bird that you saw a few days ago. The only drawback you're aware of with the sanctuary is that avian have easy access in, though it's rare. You saw a bright blue bird with lilac accents this morning on the railing. You look up when you hear the familiar roll of BB-8. He beeps when he reaches the desk.

"Yeah?" Poe wants to meet there. "Right now?" The round droid is already rolling back. It's urgent whatever he wants.

You follow behind, trying to match the droid's speed without running. He's sitting on the bench furthest from the leading halls, almost hidden. You would have walked right past him if it weren't for the squealing droid. His brow furrows slightly, but he keeps his eyes forward, on the trees. The gray light fills the area with a soft mist. It always rains. You sit next to him, staying silent. He didn't shave this morning, you note in your mind, glancing over at him. BB-8's head swivels from you to him, tilting towards you, silently urging you to say something, anything to his master.

"It's grey today." You say after a moment, regarding the sky. Both of them stare at you as if you've offended them. Poe's gaze doesn't hold as long however, as his eyes train on the railings. The sounds of nature fill the new quiet. Your hand rests on his, giving a small hand squeeze.

"It is." He replies, voice soft. You keep a small smile hidden with your other hand. "Are you okay?" You ask, figuring there had to be a reason why his droid came to you.

He sits back, sighing heavy. The Commander looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. "I'm trying."

You knit your eyebrows, "Trying what?"

"It's not all for naught. Something will come from it. Our children won't have to worry, like us." The mention of children, 'our children,' makes your stomach dance. Was this about last night? You had already made it clear that it wasn't in your stars for now... Maybe they were hypothetical children for this talk. He continues, "My parents... They thought it would stop with them, so did everyone. So many people waited to start their lives when they knew it was safe. Children born..." You were part of those, victory babies. "What about those snuffed out?" He's rambling now, shaking his head. "They thought they were safe... How can we secure our safety in the future? Or do we wait for the dark side to rise again?" You kneel in front of him, getting it.

"Poe, look at me." He does, albeit slow. Your eyes meet as you put your hands on his stubbly cheeks. "You can't change the past. But you can change the future. I know you can."

His hands rest on yours. "It's not simple. Look at this situation with your friend."

"It's never simple." You retort, as he brings your hands to his lap. "But I believe in you." You try to sound strong. His worries are in the back of everyone's mind. BB-8 beeps in your support. He glances over at the droid, a grim look on his face. He's not convinced, but says nothing. You squeeze his hands, trying to keep your smile up. Poe closes his eyes, taking slow shallow breaths.

"Are you okay?" You move your hand to his wrist, his pulse a little fast, but not out of the ordinary.

"Who would have thought we would doing this again.... My mother..." His brows furrow and he closes his eyes tighter. You see the restraint of him trying to keep his tears from falling.

"There was nothing she could have done. No one could have foreseen this." You soothe, rubbing his arm with one hand, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. He sighs, opening his sad brown eyes. "She didn't die in vain, right?" You shake your head. "She'd proud of you. She'd probably be flying and helping out too." He presses his lips against your forehead. You tilt your head, meeting him for a small peck.

The pilot bites his lip before wiping his face. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" You stand, stretching your legs. "For my negativity. I know we'll prevail. It's just... Overwhelming at times." You smile as his arms wrap around your hips. "We're at war, my love." Your fingers play with his hair as he buries his face in your shirt. "Everything is overwhelming." You feel the tickling of his breath as he chuckles. You sit beside him again, kissing his cheek. You two don't speak again for the next few moments.

"Muran." The name is a whisper in the air. "Hmm?" You look over at him.

"That was my first causality to the First Order. Damn good pilot. We were doing patrols, back when I was working for the New Republic. There was a distress call from far away... Yissira Zyde... We didn't have anything better to do, so why not save the day?" He tsks. "We go, but things don't feel right. Next thing we know, TIE fighters are coming for us. We've not seen one in so long! So advanced!" His eyes widen and he gestures with his hands. It's the most animated you've seen him so far. "I figure my guys can handle them, though we're wildly outnumbered. But that's when things turned sour..." He pauses long for a moment, struggling to keep his composure. "We're almost there, almost saved the freighter when--Iolo and Karé barely got away, but Muran. He didn't have a chance. The freighter jumped to lightspeed, with him right in their trail." He sniffs, wiping his nose quickly.

You're heartbroken, listening to this story. You didn't know Muran, but you know death of friends and family. "I'm so sorry, Poe." You touch his cheek, hearing BB-8 beep somberly.

"But, that's why we're here... They weren't going to do anything. They told me not to worry about it. People die, you know. Innocent people get caught in the middle, a small causality." He exhales hard, before glancing over at you. "Your father knew didn't he?"

For a moment you're offended. You cannot defend your father, but you can't criticize him either. He told you not to worry about the Resistance and the First Order. You were here for a resume, planning on leaving around the same time your home was destroyed. You remember how quiet he was when he spoke of the Senate with your mother. You remember something was brewing, but they would laugh it off. The Dark Side isn't strong. No planets are destroyed like the Death Star did to Alderaan. No Death Star is being built. "I can't speak the deceased." You say, glaring at your lap.

"Neither can I."

You're hurt, but you don't know what to say. "There's nothing we can do now. Except move forward." You mumble, resting your hand on his droid's head. The dome swivels towards you, and then back at his master. The silence renews.

He talks first. "I'm sorry." You keep your eyes down, trying not to get frustrated. "I shouldn't have--"

"You did though." You say softly, watching as a bird hops around. "I was upset." The commander sits forward, wiping his face. "I just wished the Senate would have done something, instead of nothing. Leading to their own demise."

"Can we stop talking about it?" You ask, finally looking at the tired man. "About the Senate?"

"All of it." You don't want to think about your family and how they were all at once extinguished. "Our real enemy is the First Order. The First Order captured the Yissira Zyde and killed your friend. The First Order destroyed the Hosian System. The First Order are holding people hostage just because they have connections to us. The First Order is the reason we need to fight. We can't let them destroy anything else!"

He's taken aback by your sudden burst, but recovers quickly, resting his hand on his jaw. "You're right."

You're also shocked by it too, and run your hand through your hair, trying to calm down. His hand comes down to your knee. "We have to stop them." He squeezes gently until finally you're not on the verge of crying.

You rest on his shoulder, suddenly emotionally exhausted. Your mind reels trying to think of other things to talk about instead of death. A young Resistance soldier comes, their hair tied back. "Commander! We need your assistance." He stands slowly, nodding. "I'll be there in a moment." He helps you up and you walk with the rolling of his droid the only noise.

When you reach the main hall, he brings you in for a long hug. His arms are tight around you, his lips pressed against your forehead. You hold on his jacket, closing your eyes. "I love you, (A/N)." He whispers, pulling away slightly. You nod, stepping back. "I love you too." The bittersweet ending weighs heavy on your heart as you return to medbay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading ;-; i'll try to update before i go back school. looking forward to this outline i made lol 
> 
> OH! because of rogue one, my new url on tumblr is [jynlovescassian](http://jynlovescassian.tumblr.com). i'll go back to baebaeate soon tho probably.


	53. It's Okay To Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciro comes up with a plan. Poe opens up and then leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school starts tmro so probably no updates for a lil bit ;-;

You hear Ciro before you see her. She's running through the bay, ignoring that it's swarming with activity to go to your small room. You hear the curses from others and people telling her to stop running, but she doesn't listen, pushing through your swinging door. You brace yourself, for some out burst.

She rests her hands flat on the table, catching her breath. "(A/N). I had a dream."

You look up from your earlier drawing, interested, but barely. Your mind still lingers on Poe and your exchange, but for Ciro you push it aside, like she does your books and sits beside you. She slaps a paper on the desk and points to the sloppy writing. She must have done this in a hurry you conclude. "It's a plan." You look it over, picking up and examining it closer. The writing is harder to decipher, but the diagram clears up any questions. You frown at the first step: 'Go to Tatooine.' You don't know how she'd get there with all the mess there and here on base. You move on to the next few steps.

_Meet with the Resistance base there. Infiltrate Nyala's home. Kill if you must. There will be guards. If you must be taken, go. Just make sure Nyala is safe and not hurt. If taken, the Resistance will be there to help you and break you out. Hide out on Tatooine again until it's safe enough with your sister to leave and come back to the main base._

"This is very idealistic," you reply, putting the paper down. "I know. But ideas can save people."

"It can also get you killed, Ciro."

She picks up the paper and stuffs it in her pocket. "If you were like before, you would be jumping to help me."

Your heart sinks and you shake your head in disbelief. You're not going through this again. "I am like before. But I also that if you go out, and do this, you're most likely not going to come back." You hold her hand and you're relieved she doesn't rip her hand away. "I like it when you're here."

She sits down, revealing that she doesn't have a bandage on. "I want to save them, (A/N). I can't do that here."

"Can you give it a chance at least? Listen to what everyone is saying. Your uncle is supposed to go today? Wait for him."

She finally lets go of your hand, resting it on her injury. "I guess..." She pauses, looking at you. It's like her old stares. She's looking into your soul. That's what you always thought anyway. "You've been crying too?" She asks, pulling her paper back out.

You hesitate, not wanting to tell her about the argument. You don't want it to be used as fuel against him later. "Allergies." You say, grabbing your books.

"Bullshit. (A/N), you've never had allergies in all our years together."

"This planet's ecosystem is different from D'Qar and the Republic. I'm just, developing them." You look away as you fake a sneeze.

"Maybe you should have pursued acting... Maybe I should take a look in your journal if you still right in it."

You grimace and sigh. "Fine. I lied."

"Okay, but why?"

"You wouldn't care. You only care about your family. Which is fine. I understand that situation."

"But you are my family too. Don't you know this?"

"You don't act like it other times, Ciro."

She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. "Fine. Whatever. Don't tell me." She grabs your pen and starts making amends to her plan. You watch out of boredom and you want Poe to come get you, but you know that won't happen. Not now at least.

With a heavy sigh, you decide to tell her. "Poe and I had an argument."

She stops, raising her eyebrow at you. "You and your darling Poe had an argument? What about?" You shrug, now not wanting to go into the details. "Was it about me? I didn't meant to get in between you two..."

"No. It wasn't." You say, touching her hand again. "He's nervous about this mission. At first he was just nervous that they might now be able to make it, and he told me about Muran, a pilot that was on his old squadron... He died and that's why Poe and the rest joined."

"That's a lot to take in," Ciro comments, noticing as you fidget with your hands.

"I know. I wonder why he didn't tell me earlier. I would have cared. I still care. And then! And then he asked if my dad helped the First Order. You know my father. You know how he was against them. I couldn't believe he went there!" You don't mean to yell but it still gets you riled up.

"How close was he to Muran anyway?" Ciro asks, crossing her legs.

"I don't know. Pretty close." She raises her eyebrows and for a second, you see the girl months earlier telling you how to flirt. "Ask him. Either Muran was like a brother to him, or maybe something more."

You haven't either considered the second option, but remember that brief mention of some partner a couple days ago. "I'll have to ask when it's not so tense." She shifts in her seat, "Okay. Do whatever feels right."

You both sit in silence and you sigh. "I'll help you. But I'm not leaving the base if that's what you were implying earlier." Ciro nods, scooting over to let you help.

* * *

She sits on the counter to the dismay of passing nurses and doctors as you grab bandages for her head. "I think this new plan will work. You should use your mind for something other than fixing up the injured."

"I only gave you small tips. I have no clue what will happen if you go Ciro." You motion for her to get down which she does. She bends a little while you put the generator against her temple. She winces and closing her eyes. It's been a while since you've been this close to her face and you count the new freckles across her face and where she may have burned, though she'd never admit it. "My family never burns. It's in our blood," she told you once. She opens her eyes when you grab the new bandages. You don't stare as hard this time since she keeps her eyes open.

"Next time take some repellent. Don't want you to burn anymore." She scoffs when you say that, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your nose is a little sunburnt."

"Why you staring so hard?"

"I'm not." You finish up and she straightens.

"Well, I've taken up a good majority of your time. I'm going to go and see what's been going on with my uncle." You nod watching as she goes, deciding to go back into your little room.

Not long after you arrive, there's a knock. You figure it's Ciro forgetting something and ignore it. They knock again, a little louder this time. You get up; it's not Ciro. You're a little taken aback to see Poe so soon but hide your excitement by looking away with a scowl.

"You're still mad?"

"No. I just. I wasn't expecting you." He takes your hands, bringing them to his cheeks. "I've got bad news."

You narrow your eyes, "Tell me somewhere else."

* * *

You're inside his X-Wing, snug in his arms. It's been a while and you forgot how claustrophobic it can be. You face him, his eyes so serious, but his hands playful on your hips.

"I'm leaving tonight." He's quick to say it once you're settled. Your mouth opens, words catching in your throat.

"Tonight? I thought-Tomorrow morning? Why so soon? You just got back." Your hands go to his shoulders.

"General Organa thinks it's better to go sooner. Plus, we're ready." You lean forward, resting your head on his shoulder.

"I'm not," you whisper, wondering if others can see you. The Black One wouldn't have been your first choice, but it is secluded enough and no one can hear you since the hood is down.

"That's why I wanted to tell you as soon as I could." He leans down kissing your cheek. "Let's spend the rest of the day together again."

You sit up, raising your eyebrow. "What should we do then?"

He pecks your lips before opening the hatch. "I don't know."

You climb out first and he follows. You see BB-8, but he's with the other droids. "You still have stuff to do today?"

With a frown, you nod. "Ciro distracted me earlier." He takes your hand again, leading you out. "Then we'll do your work until there's no more."

* * *

You try to focus, really focus, on the pages in front of you, but ever so often Poe rolls over, this time on his side, holding his holopad out in front of him. You don't like this idea of reading together, yet. On top of you 'working,' he uses this as an opportunity to bounce tactics back and forth with you. You are nowhere near qualified to qualify him or suggest something new in your opinion, but everyone else is busy. That's what he tells you when you object.

He sighs, rolling back to his back. "(A/N)," he starts, resting the pad on his stomach. You lift your book, to see his face in your lap. "Will you miss me?"

You chuckle, returning to your texts. "Of course I'll miss you. I always do." He rolls back to his side, and you're not sure if your answer is satisfying to him.

"Will you miss me?" You ask, almost in a whisper.

"Of course!" You jump at his volume and he sits up. "I'm already missing you."

"But I'm right here." You caress his cheek. "I'm going to be gone for a while. Again. I've only just got back."

"It happens." He kisses your lips gingerly, putting the book in your lap to the side. "What will you do when I'm gone?" He inquires, holding your hands.

"I don't know. The same as before. But will try to restrain Ci- Will try to comfort Ciro." You hold your tongue almost forgetting Poe's rank. His gaze holds yours and you curse in your mind. You're a shit liar today.

"She needs all the comfort she can get." He tells you more about their situation, more than he told Ciro out loud. She probably already knows however.

The unit in Tatooine would move in as soon as they could. Since Ciro's disappearance however, her family was heavily guarded in case she came back. Her brother in law was escorted to and from work with First Order flanking him. Nyala's moves were monitored and Ciro doubted that her nibling would make it past birth at this point. You aren't sure how her uncle would be able to make it to her, if at all.

"Certainly there's something we can do. Nyala is pregnant and I don't think the First Order will care, love. And her uncle..." You rest your head on his shoulder.

"I know."

You lift your head, searching his face for a sign that maybe, just maybe he'd do something. He picks up his holopad, ready to lie back down. You grab your book, thinking of something else.

"Have you spoke to your father?" He nods, "Thanks to our small dog fight, we have kept Yavin out of the First Order's range. They didn't know where we came from. Though, he wasn't too happy to hear about it." He grimaces, "Also his advice." He tilts your book down so you can see him.

"'Make the best our time together. It will be worth it in the end.'"

"That's sweet." You say, readjusting. He hums in agreement.

You stare at the page in front of you, the words blurring as you try to figure out what you two could do to 'make the best of your time.' Poe clears his throat, "What about this: we land away from the settlement, send in a secret unit to check out the entrance to this place, and if it's all clear, we come in and find the leader and hopefully they won't be too frightened and will be compliant. And then we just fight the FO and get out of there."

"That's idealistic." You feel like you're repeating yourself. "But it's better than your earlier tactics... Poe, please just stay safe for me."

He chuckles, "I'll do my best, my sweet."

He goes quiet, you assume thinking of something else to tease your mind with, though this time his fingers are swiping fast, barely glancing at file names. You put your book to the side, deciding to play with his hair. You'd have the whole time he's away to study. He looks up at the touch, flashing a warm smile before returning to his flash folders. You start to twist strands together making a small braid. He stops on the file he wants sighing.

"Hmm, I was right about today... It's only been that long?" Poe mutters, scrolling through.

"What has?" You ask curiously. You undo the braid and start over.

"I hadn't realized how long it's been since I--My squadron and I--joined the Resistance."

"Oh, how long has it been?" You can't figure out what you want to do with his hair. He doesn't complain when you unbraid again.

"Two and a half years."

"That is a while. I wonder how long it's been since I've joined..."

"Maybe a year," he guesses. "When did you join?"

"Right before they destroyed the Hosnian System. A few months."

"Almost a year, couple more months to go." Your heart drops, almost year since... He sits up, touching your cheek. "Congrats on being here for so long." You kiss his palm, hiding how it still hurt. "Thanks." He rests the tablet on your lap and brings your face forward to kiss your lips, careful. He pulls away, feeling wet on your cheeks. You turn away, wiping your stray tears.

"I'm sorry. I just... Already? And how long for us?" "Almost a year too. You wrap your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder.

You pull away sighing. "Can't believe it's been so long..."

"We have to make the most of it though. With me in different systems and then you going to a new base without telling me." You make a face as he rests his forehead against yours, the bags under his eyes looking more prominent, the new wrinkles making an appearance around his eyes. He's so tired.

"Are you okay?"

He nods, returning to his previous position. You push the curls from his forehead, leaning down and pressing gentle kisses on his skin. When you pull up, he returns to his holopad.

"What're you going to do for your anniversary?"

"I dunno, my love. I'll ask Karé and Iolo what they want to do. No one really celebrates these things."

"You don't have to." You reply, twisting one of his curls around your finger.

"You're right..." He licks his lips, intently reading. You suck on the inside of your cheek, coming up with a solution for his hair; a braid crown. His hair might be long enough.

"Are you sad that it's been so long?" You ask, starting the braid.

He shrugs, "Maybe... If we hadn't have gotten that distress call... If he hadn't been in the way..." His voice cracks, but he keeps his eyes on the holopad. You watch his expression, knowing something is wrong.

"It's okay to miss him," you coo before kissing his forehead again. You remember Ciro's words and almost ask, but stop yourself. It's not the time when he's on the verge of tears.

He smiles, putting his holopad down. "I know. It still hurts sometimes." His hand goes to his chest and he shakes his head. "I loved him." Your hand goes to his, secretly checking his heart beat. It's faster, but considering the situation... Ciro was right.

"Did he know that?" You ask, removing your hand.

He nods, rolling to his side. You leave his hair alone, wanting to know more. "In a few months, we were going to go to Yavin and get married." He chuckles, resting his face against your thigh. His warm breath tickles your skin through the fabric. "I was content with just doing patrols, watching out for smugglers with him and my crew for the rest of my days. That's not what fate had for us, as you know."

You touch his cheek, stroking his hair. "I'm sorry." You whisper, hearing a sniffle, "I love you."

He sits up, running his fingers through his hair, undoing your braid. "It's alright. I made my peace." You wrap your arms around his shoulders and press your lips against his jacket. "Tell me about him. Why did you love him?"

"Oh, (A/N). Muran was something else. We were in the Academy together, friends until this dumb gathering." He smiles, bring your hand to his lips, kissing the palm. "I kissed him. Just went for it. He was so humble, always making sure I didn't get too caught up or carried away. Though he was the person that asked me to marry him... But he was so smart. So intelligent. And the way he flew." Poe's smile cracks, and he covers his face with your hand. "I'm sorry," he says, letting you go.

You hug him tighter, rubbing his shoulder. "It's okay to cry."

He turns, moving to hide his face against your chest. You stroke his hair, letting him sob. Poe holds you tight around your waist. He sits up after a few moments, wiping his face. "I love you, (A/N). I really do..."

"Are you okay now?"

He nods, holding on to your hand. You smile, hearing a familiar beeping and voices. "Do you think it's time?" You ask, your forehead wrinkling.

"No no. I think, they're just looking for me." He wipes his nose with the back of his hand. "Besides. I'm not ready to leave you just yet." You laugh at how corny he sounds and he leans forward, your lips and teeth accidentally knocking into each other, but he quickly revises, holding your face and silencing your giggles.

He pulls away when he hears Karé with her whistle. "Good luck kisses?" She asks with her droid and BB-8 at her sides.

"Something like that," Poe stands, stretching. She doesn't ask about his flushed face. She already knows. He pats her shoulder and then turns to you. "Captain, don't tell me you're here because they moved the time up."

She shakes her head, taking Poe's spot. "Nope. Just was returning your droid. He's jittery. Ready to get it over with." BB-8 beeps in response, rolling side to side. Karé's droid shifts side to side, beeping as well. "We all are ready to go."

Poe returns, reaching out for your hands. "Well I gotta get changed. Karé, what are the others doing?" You take his hand and he pulls you up.

"You know, the usual. Double checks, triple checks, quadruple checks... Also, filling up on base food." She giggles at her last sentence, standing as well. "Snaps is looking over all the tactics you sent him... That's a conversation for you two have though. I gotta go see what else is left. Jess said that she requested something special for me in the canteen, and I don't want to go and see that 'others' got their hands on it first!" Her droid follows, whistling about food.

"Who are the others?" You ask, watching her go.

"I think she means the other pilots..." Poe brings your hands up to his lips, giving your knuckles little kisses. BB-8 beeps, telling Poe he should probably get ready soon. He sighs, nodding. "You're right." He lets go of your hands. "I'm going to go get in uniform. Meet me in the hangar in two hours."

"Two hours?!"

He nods again, this time walking away. "We leave in three." That's not enough time, you think, you hands going to your sides. What would you do for two hours?

* * *

You end up in the hangar way before time. You're carrying packs of medical supplies into the one freighter. The medics going are chatting incessantly. It's easy to drown them out as they all sound like one. You're thinking of that conversation with Poe. Ciro would be over the moon with being right, but it's not about her guesses. You wonder why he didn't tell you earlier. You feel slightly selfish for times in the past when your hurting was more important it felt. You should have known that everyone's lost someone to the First Order somehow. But no, you focused on your pain, never bothering to ask. And his mother! You could talk about hours on your parents, but you never once asked about his. You place a crate of supplies down, wiping your brow.

"Doing your hard work for the day?" Altair asks, putting a box next to you.

"I guess so," you reply, walking out of the freighter. You're a little dazed, lost in your own world. He follows, arms crossed above his head.

"So you and Poe aren't gonna sneak a little session in before he goes?"

"Stop talking," you mutter under your breath. You don't think he knows that when he comes back, you won't be his roommate anymore.

"Do you that it would distract him though? You want him at his best. We need him at his best."

"Please stop," you raise your voice slightly from earlier. He hears you but barely backs off. You pick up another crate and walk back over. He follows, making a clicking noise with his tongue. "Why? Did he already turn you down?"

You stop yourself from slapping him. "Don't you have other things to do?" You ask, putting the box down. You don't know why he won't let up. You both apologized and told him it won't happen again. It wouldn't anyway.

"I finished all my duties. Now I just wait." When you step out of the ship, you see Poe and BB-8. He's talking to Snaps, sporting matching serious expressions. You do like this jumpsuit though, all black. He glances over in your direction and you look away, flustered. His gaze doesn't last long and he's back to his conversation.

"Well, wait somewhere else," you state, deciding to do something else, away from Altair.

He stands at the foot of the ramp. "Can't we talk like before?" You grimace when he follows and pretend not to notice when he stares at Poe on the way out. The Commander doesn't look away from Snaps.

"What do you want to talk about?" You ask, going to medbay. You can still study. "I'm still nervous... It will be most I've ever done yet. And I talked to a veteran doctor and they told me that we would most likely be dealing with the workers who are probably unarmed." His face pales and his hand goes to his neck.

Absently, you touch his other hand. "It'll be alright. The people going with you won't let you get hurt."

He pulls his hand away but quietly says thank you. He doesn't make anymore jokes about you and Poe.

* * *

You make your way back to the hangar just in time. You lost track of time taking notes. You can't stay distracted forever. He's waiting, helmet in hand. The hangar is still busy, but the activity actively dies down. It's people saying their goodbyes and good lucks.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" You throw your arms around his neck, and he steps back to counter your weight against him. "It's alright." His words are muffled by your neck. You close your eyes, hugging him closer. You don't know when he'll come back, but you hope soon. In your station there's a bet going around that it will be two weeks to a month. You know already they're wrong, but wishful thinking made your bet less than a week.

He sets you down, a sad smile resting on his lips. "I wouldn't have left without seeing you."

"Don't lie." You giggle, imagining the chaos. You figure that General Organa wouldn't have let that happen anyway. His hand lingers on your waist, keeping the space between you minimal.

"Will you stay safe for me?" You worry. You try to disguise your tone by lowering your voice and resting your hands on his chest.

"Of course, babydoll. Don't wanna come back and be on medical leave again."

The corners of your lips perk up. "I could take care of you again." His eyebrows raise with a cheeky smile and he shakes his head.

"I like to fly, (A/N)."

"I know."

"When I'm gone, do you best with your studies. No more distractions okay? And Ciro. Tell her that we're going to do whatever we can to make sure her sister is okay," he says, putting his helmet on. It's official now, you think to yourself. He's really going.

You nod, "Okay. I'll tell her. And I'll try to study." His hands go to your cheeks, bringing you closer. You close your eyes when his lips meet yours. He's being so gentle, barely touching you as if you'll break. You lean into him more, standing on your toes. He's so good, too good. You don't want him to go. It hurts in your chest as you pull away with a quiet smack.

"I love you so much, Poe Dameron," you whisper, resting your head against his. "I love you too. I'm gonna come back so fast, you won't have time to miss me."

"Too late." He kisses you quickly, hearing Snaps call his name. You become echoes of each other, saying I love you until the words are nothingness. You don't notice Ciro's at your side until they're telling people to move back so the ships could fly. She doesn't say anything, only putting her arm around your waist.

When they're gone, she smiles. "He'll back soon... We got a rescue to plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx 4 reading!! it's gonna get good when i can write ^^


	54. Martyrs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciro and the Reader come up with a diabolic plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah! IT"S BEEN A WHILE. anyways, i've started school, and i got busy w/ tht and shorter things in different fandoms ;-; but! this was going to be longer, but i got too excited. also rogue one trailer tomorrow^^^^^  
> ALSo 100k words :O

She leads you to her room. It's not too far from your own you realize. It's a mess, not like the old Ciro. Clothes are piled on her bed, covers strewn across the floor and on top rests scattered paper. Her walls are clean however, no more art to adorn them. She takes out a holopen from her pocket and sits down. You stand awkwardly, wiping your face. You aren't done processing Poe's departure as she sets the pen in a certain position for her wall.

Finally getting balance right, Ciro pats the area next to her. You sit, trying to figure out what she's projecting. The image clears revealing a map of Tatooine. She stands, pinching at the wall and the map expands out around the room. You watch as she navigates to her sister's adobe. The image is blurred, but renders in a few seconds.

"There we go..." She points out the left. "The Resistance base is over there. We need to get there somehow and then to my sister."

"We?" You ask, raising your eyebrows, "I promised Poe I'd study. An-and he said he's going to take care of your situation when he gets back."

"And when will that be, hmm? Will Nyala be alive by then? Will her child?" Ciro turns to face you, crossing her arms. "I'm going back, with or without you. It is your choice (A/N)."

Your fist clenches. You don't want her to do anything harmful but you understand where she's coming from, even if you do not want her to go, at all. "Don't do anything regretful."

She begins marking off places on one of the tattered pieces. "We need someone to fly us. Someone good who won't fuck up." Ciro mutters to herself. "You've been around the hangar. Who flys well?"

You shrug, "I've only paid attention to Poe. For obvious reasons."

"Of course. He took the best pilots, so we're left with the others. They're probably good enough, but I don't want someone who's going to complain if things get too rough. This is a very sensitive and dangerous mission. I'll leave finding a pilot in your hands."

"My hands? Ciro. Shouldn't that be your job? I don't know all we'll encounter like you," your arms cross and you wish you could talk her out of going all together.

"You're familiar to them. You're fucki... You're the Commander's partner. I'm sure they respect you because of that status."

"I doubt that. And even if that's the case, wouldn't you think that if I convinced them, they'd want to ask Poe if it's okay? Hearing how dangerous it is... They'd say no."

"I'll deal with those details. You just get me some gutsy pilot who wants their chance to shine... A successful rescue mission is a sure way to get promoted. I'd take it."

"It's your family in danger though," you roll your eyes. You don't know how you'd find someone.

She moves on, "We will need clearance to go. The leftover pilots, they're testing out upgrades right? Well, during their test run is when we go with our pilot okay? I can get weapons for us for the ground. You can get the medical equipment." Her speech picks up. She's been planning this whole time. You wonder what kind of woman she would have been if Ciro never left.

"They'd notice."

"Say you're practicing. You're studying right? Poe would like that," Ciro winks, focusing back on her plan. "Seriously, babydoll. You're likable enough that no one will bat an eye. You've got the best set up. Poe's significant other. If anything happens to you, chaos. So lovely... If I were you, I'd be doing shit just because."

"If you were me, you'd be feeling so sad that your love is gone and you just want him back... Also, you would know that there are rules. That this isn't a game, Ciro."

She shakes her head, "Stop patronizing me, (Y/N). I know about your emotions and you're right. But I'm taking this so seriously. Like you said, it's my family. They're on the line. I have to save them. It's my duty."

You don't like fighting with Ciro when you know you can't do anything to change her mind. You drop it when there's a knock at the door. She turns the hologram off and hides the pen. "You didn't steal that?" You ask with a quiet whisper.

"Now I'm a theif? You think so highly of me."

You stand pressing the button for the door. It's Finn and Rey, though they don't look like they're here to stay long. "I have an update though it's really small," Rey begins. Ciro nods, waving them inside. They hesitate coming in, noticing the mess. "It seem that the FO is on a certain pattern. There is a shift change every four hours. Every six if there's a sand storm."

"How do their shift changes go? Do they leave their posts alone and the next group comes?"

Finn shakes his head, "Of course not. They wait for the next group to come."

"Then we need to get the next group and then the ones waiting with my family," Ciro's voice scares you and she smiles at the duo. "I thank you both for helping me. I hope that you all your help will help make my family safe." She bows to both and steps back. "I won't keep you longer. May the Force be with you."

When the door closes, she's back to work, muttering how this changes everything. You watch as she shifts her times and then brings the pen out again, this time to contact the base at Tatooine.

"Do you think that's safe?" You ask as the pen gains a connection.

"It's better that they know than we spring it on them once we arrive." You don't like that she continues to include you in this dangerous narrative.

The man is unclear with the hazy static but the screen clears. "Ciro? You're alive?"

"Of course I am. Wait. Why do you say that?"

"We sent an agent to your family's house like Commander Dameron told us, but the house was on fire! We couldn't find any bodies. In case they followed our agent, we had them go into the nearest town. Your brother in law wasn't there either in the shop. We're still monitoring the situati- Ciro, please don't cry. The droid said no one died there. No blood was shed. In fact, they said that the house burned when no one was there. A freak accident in during a storm. Though I don't think it was just random. There is a possibility they're alive."

You turn to Ciro, her eyes glazed over. She clutches the pen before handing it to you. You think that she'll break down but she rests her head on your shoulder. You feel a wetness. "We will reach you later Captain... This is a lot for her to process all at once."

He signs off and she rests back on her cover. "(A/N)... It's all over. They're captured by the First Order. They really are! You know the only way out of custody is death. Your Poe got lucky he found a defector with Finn, but everyone else on that ship? Blown to pieces right? Or killed beforehand." She shakes her head.

You lie beside her, hesitating before giving your advice. "What if you were... Finn for them?"

"Finn? What?"

"What if, you went to save them?"

Her mouth drops open and she almost yells at you. "Are you mad? I'm not broken enough to go get corpses."

"Ciro. I don't think they're dead."

"What do you mean?"

You touch her cheek, wiping away her tear. "I don't think all is lost."

She doesn't meet your gaze, shaking her head. "How can you be so optimistic now?"

You stand, pulling her up with you. "I just got an idea." You bring her arms closer to your body and pull them away, trying to shake her sadness away.

She frowns, before letting a giggle, "(A/N)... Stop..." You continue until she's laughing, resting her head against your shoulder. Her laughter continues, but you're not sure when they turn back into sobs.

* * *

You two don't leave her room until all the kinks are out. It takes some convincing but Ciro listens to your plan. "We have to get captured."

Her eyes widen and she smacks your shoulder. "You're trying to kill me off aren't you?"

You shake your head, rubbing the afflicted area, "No, no. Listen to me. We go in as prisoners, but we get off as heroes." You notice your inclusion of we. You still aren't going.

"Martyrs more likely... What will Poe think?"

"That we shouldn't do this..."

"For once, I agree with him." Ciro sits back on her haunches. "I mean, what will we do to be considered as a prisoner and not just a DOA?"

"I don't know... The First Order, they're probably still in Tatooine, in case you show. But if they didn't kill your family there, then I doubt they're killing anyone. So, we just need to be captured. Plus, we're Resistance. They would want us alive. We have information. We've met Luke Skywalker. My significant other is Poe Dameron. There is not a reason for them to kill us."

"Are you coming with then?" Ciro asks, tilting her head to the side. Her eyes scan your face quickly.

"I didn't say that," you reply looking away.

"Why else would you help me and you keep saying we and us," she shakes her head.

"I don't know, honestly. But I feel like if you go alone, you will not make it back."

"But if you come with me, it will be different?" You hesitate before nodding. "I see... Well, if you see it that way, then I guess you are coming."

You grimace, "I don't want to, but my subconscious..."

She kisses your cheek. "I appreciate your help regardless."

You sigh, "We'll need to find a pilot. Get to Tatooine, get captured... But what do we do there?"

"We need the pilot to get captured too. We can't fly off..."

"True. Good thinking." She lies back frowning. "I really hope that they're alive."

"Same."

* * *

You don't notice when you've fallen asleep. You wake to the small sunbeams on the floor, on Ciro's face. You sit up, rubbing your eyes. You miss Poe. You always miss him. You take the pen from the floor, and think about contacting him. Would he be happy to hear from you so soon? Or maybe he's super busy... You don't want to wake Ciro either. You stand and sneak out of her room. Ciro doesn't make a sound, only rolling over. The halls are quiet, usually filled with pilots now void of activity. You hope they all come back safe.

In your old room, your heart pounds in your ears. You turn the pen on, projecting it on Altair's bed. Your eyes adjust to the shaky footage seeing that Ciro put in her native language. You're happy you know enough to get to contacts. She would not be happy that you're using it for a call to your boyfriend. You still don't know if she should even have it.

The screen shows his professional screen, his face is stern looking out into the distance. "You're so grumpy," you mutter as you press the button to reach him. You sit down, apprehensive. The worst case scenario is that he gets suspicious on Ciro's technology or he's in the middle of fighting and gets irritated or distracted and it makes him lose, or he's injured...

The ringing stops and you hear humming. "Commander Dameron speaking. Is something wrong at the base, over?"

You perk up, seeing his face on the wall. "Poe? Is it really you?" You crawl over to the wall for a closer look, before timidly adding, "Over."

He glances down at the screen. "(A/N)! Guys, hush. What are you doing? How are you contacting me?" You take in the bright lights around him; he's in hyperspace.

"That's not important," you say quickly, moving back. "Nothing is wrong... I just missed you. Have you not reached the destination yet?"

"It will be a few more hours..." He yawns. "We're going deep into the unknown, so exciting right guys?" He skips his pilot talk since it's you. "They're excited. Tired, but excited... How about you, is it early? Have you slept, have you eaten?"

His eyes are on you, his eyes wide, but hidden by his visor. He's still excited to hear from you. "Don't you have to watch what you're doing?"

"No, well yes. But not now. I put it on auto pilot. BB-8 is handling it for me... We're okay for now."

"If you say so. Anyway, I just woke up. I didn't know I even fell asleep..." He lowers his voice, "Did you sleep in my room?" You can hear some whoops from pilots and he rolls his eyes.

"No. I spent the night with Ciro... Did you hear the news?"

"What news?"

"Her family. They were taken or they're not around anymore. The house was burned down."

"Oh no... How is Ciro?"

"She's fine... We're dealing with the loss." You pretend to look sad, not wanting him to know that you two had made a plan to go. All you needed now is a pilot.

He sighs, "That's so terrible... I hope if her family is alive, that it gets better. I'm making it my top priority when I get back. Losing your family is the worst thing that can happen."

You nod, seeing him grimace. He's listening to someone else.

"We're about to reach a stop. Some of the pilots need more fuel... Can I reach you later?"

You nod again, "Yes Poe..."

He smiles, lowering his voice again, "I love you, (A/N)... I will reach you again! I promise!" The feed cuts out after that and you turn the pen off. Ciro would be looking for it if she's up.

* * *

When you find Ciro, she's talking to Oddy. He's barely taller than her but the conversation is friendly. She's telling him about Tatooine. You hesitate stepping in. Surely he is aware of the situation. He doesn't reference it if he does. She doesn't mention it either.

"Ah, (A/N). Come here. I was just telling Oddy about Tatooine. We should visit it again. My sister and her husband are stationed there... I came here because I got a new duty, but I miss her terribly. Will you take us there?"

Your eyes widen, she's using her charms. She hasn't expressed any interests in guys since joining the Resistance. She twirls with her hair and her smile is so bright. "I'll have to get clearance, but sure. I'm down for any mission. They won't let me go out on dangerous ones yet."

"Why not?"

"Jess says because I'm new. They don't want me to get hurt."

"We promise you won't get hurt." You hate lying, but you want this to go well for Ciro. Oddy seems capable too.

"I'll just drop you off at the base there and come back so when the others are back, they'll know where you are. I'm sure someone will be looking for you when they get back."

You know the reference, Poe, and continue to smile. "He will be okay. He won't miss me too much." The lie sounds bitter out loud, as you are well aware that he would miss you a lot, he already told you.

"Let's leave as soon as you get clearance," Ciro states, patting his arm. "I'll show you around if you come. The Binary Sunset is just... You have to see it in person." She talks it up so easily.

"Let me get going then! I wanna try the food the most."

"I'll make you a dish personally," She winks as he goes down the hall.

"I feel slightly bad for lying to him," Ciro whispers once he's out of earshot. She kicks at the ground sighing. "We're really doing this, (A/N)?"

"Yes. We are." She flashes a quick smile before walking, presumably to her room.

"I have to go get things ready. It shouldn't take Oddy long to get clearance... Um, say goodbyes to your friends here." Your face contorts at the statement. "You don't know when you'll see them again," is her explanation.

* * *

You dial Poe again, chewing on your bottom lip. He said he would reach you first, but if this plan goes the way it's supposed to, he would not get you in time. He answers on the last tone. "This is Commander Dameron. Any updates from the area of interest?" He's looking forward, stern. Your eyes glue to his jaw before going back up to his eyes. You open your mouth to speak, but feel the lump in your throat. You have to say something before he looks to see it's you again. He'd ask what's wrong. He'll know something is wrong.

"Don't clench your jaw too much, Poe... It's bad tension in your body..." Your words are soft, almost louder than a whisper.

He relaxes, glancing at the screen. "I know. I'll try to remember that next time... It's just hard in this situation," He whispers back. "Why are you calling again? Are you okay, (A/N)?"

You duck your head, wiping away the stray nervous tears. "Yeah, I'm just... I miss you a whole lot."

"I'll be back soon. And I just left last night."

"I know, I know. My emotions are just everywhere. There's just so much. Thinking of Ciro and her family... You never know what the last words will be with each other."

He clenches his jaw before letting go. "That's a bit dark, baby. Don't worry, really."

"I know that. I just... Miss you so much."

You hear a voice in the background, another pilot in his ear. "I highly doubt that's it Karé." He's suddenly nervous as he brings his eyes to you. He lowers his voice. "Captain Kun thinks you're... pregnant."

An awkward laugh escapes your lips. You would rather be that than doing a suicide mission. "Poe... We would know that by now. And if I am... It's too early to tell. I just miss you is all. And I love you. More than anything else in the world."

He cracks a smile. "I miss you a whole lot. And I love you more than anything else in the galaxy."

"Even flying?"

He hesitates, his eyes looking off, what's in front of him. "Maybe. Anyway, we're getting close... I'll reach you on my way back okay?" You nod and he signs off quickly.

The silences stings and you look over at the medic packs you took under radar... It's real... It's so real. You hold the pen, happy you're sitting. You'd be swaying on your toes, maybe even have fallen back on your bed, overcome with emotion. You don't want to leave him in the dark. He would not be happy finding out what happened if you two didn't make it back before him. But it's for Ciro, your closest relationship to blood. 

Your heart leaps when there's a knock at the door. Without waiting for the door to open, you hear her voice. "We've gotten clearance... We leave in an hour. Be ready, (A/N)." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thnks 4 reading!!!!!!!!!! it will be dramatic.


	55. Everything Will Be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ciro and the Reader do the plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama.... 100k words and 19k hits^^^^^^^^^

The ride to Tatooine is smooth. Oddy doesn't really talk to you two, not questioning when you two only bring a personal items, a medical kit, and also a small blaster each. You had to be safe off the base. Ciro promised real weapons though once you reached the base at Tatooine, but now you wait. You recognize this ship, the one that they used to save you and Poe back on that one planet. It feels like forever ago and the details are fuzzy. Your head was bleeding... You glance over at Ciro, remembering her head injury. It's healed nicely, not bleeding, but scabbed over. You know your friend. She probably picks it at it when you're not there to tell her not to. She flicks her eyes over to you, giving a smirk. "We're going to be okay."

She's so confident now. Maybe it was the base sucking the life out of her. She's getting color back in her cheeks. Once Oddy reaches hyperspeed, he joins you out in the sitting area. "I'm really nervous, Ciro... Something is telling me this is off."

"What's off?" She asks. You hear the irritation in her voice. You've gotten this far, why is he chickening out.

"I don't feel right going without the Commander knowing."

"Did you try to reach him?"

"He said that it wasn't a good time."

You raise your eyebrows in worry. "What's wrong? Do you know?"

"No, but I assume it's just the mission..." He shakes his head.

You glance at Ciro. What if you let Oddy go? He would be safer, not another person to worry about, another liability if this did not work. "You'll back back at the base after this. You don't have to stay if you don't want to," you say, ignoring Ciro's burning glare. How would you two get out now?

Oddy smiles, "Well since you say that... I'll have to come by your sister's some other time, Lieutenant."

Ciro rolls her eyes, "Yeah. She would have given you a big plate."

The beeping from the cockpit silences the rest of the conversations. "We're here... Where do you want me to drop you?" Ciro goes with him to give him precise coordinates.

Alone, you look out the window seeing the sandy planet. You wonder if Poe's been here before. It was a tourist attraction before the war started again. You remember your mother wanting to visit the site of Master Skywalker's burned home. She wanted to pray there, hope that nothing terrible happened to the man. Your father snorted, shaking his head. He told her that it wasn't worth the trip. She'd lose their money and precious jewels. 'Tatooine is full of thieves,' he said. You remember saying that Ciro is from Tatooine. He didn't take back the statement.

Ciro returns, grabbing her scarf and wrapping her hair and pulls her hoodie up. "Sandstorm is heading our way..." She hands you a simple scarf. Her mother weaved it for her. You knew because she modeled it for you later, naming off the fabric and dancing around with it in your old room. "Cover your face, hair, anything else. Sandy eyes are the worst." You nod and she sighs.

"We'll be okay. We'll have to be."

You both stare forward. Ciro fidgets with her blaster holder, hands needing something to do. "Ciro... I didn't tell you this earlier, but..." You laugh, remembering what Karé told Poe. Ciro would laugh, laughing could ease the anxiety. "I called Poe and was trying my best to tell him I love him and care about him, you know. And Karé said something I couldn't hear, but you know what Poe said after?" She gives you a weary look. "She asked if I was pregnant. Pregnant..." You laugh, knowing you were not.

Ciro doesn't. Her lips tighten into a line and she stares forward. "I don't even want to think about you pregnant at a moment like this."

You sit back in your seat, the giggles quickly disappear. "Sorry for telling you," you say crossing your arms.

* * *

Oddy drops you off in the hangar. Her old major stands at the end, standing official, apprehensive. He already knows what you two are planning. You wonder if he plans to stop it. He also looks for your pilot to come out, but is surprised when Oddy flies off as soon as he lands.

"He doesn't do well in the desert," Ciro explains once she reaches her superior. "Anyway, we need the two of the worst blasters. Bigger than these. They must look threatening." He shakes his head, "Ciro. Do you think I'm going to sacrifice my career for you? Why the worst?"

"We're going to get captured." Your eyes widen and you almost slap your hand over her mouth.

"Captured? You'll be killed before that happens _Lieutenant_. We're in a tight spot right now because your frequent visits to your sister, to your disappearance, to their disappearance. I told you to stay away from Tatooine until after the war."

"I'm _very_ stubborn, Major. And anyway, this is my friend from growing up, (A/N). My family means as much to them as they mean to me. We're doing this. With or without your approval."

She doesn't blink, only walking by him. You stand stunned at her confidence. Wasn't she the one telling you how it was a bad idea? You rush over to her, unable to find words. She finds the armory and you wait for someone to stop her as she grabs two big blasters.

"Ciro... Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah. For right now anyway... We'll be okay (A/N)..." She leans over and kisses your forehead. "Poe would kill me if I let his precious lover and 'child' perish."

You roll your eyes. "You're right..."

* * *

The major doesn't say a word, staring out as she takes one of the speeders too. You guess that if she dies, at least she's taking the worst of the equipment. She's all talk right now. You bet that he's hoping that she's got a better plan than what she told him. She wraps her scarf and your own and sighs. "He's so struck that he thinks I'm bluffing." She turns to wink at him before taking off. You hold on to her waist, closing your eyes. She's going so fast...

Everything will be okay.

You sigh, feeling as the rider goes through the sandy planet. You think about opening your eyes, but remember Ciro mentioning the sand storm. You hope that you two would beat it. You also hope that you two will find a shelter soon. The heat beats down on your back, burning you up. You don't understand how others can survive in it. She slows, circling around an area for a little bit. You open your eyes, seeing a dark cloud ahead and charred ground in the middle.

"They really did burn it down." Ciro mutters.

You nod, rubbing her back. "Don't worry now. We're going to be okay."

She stiffens, looking towards the dark clouds. "We have to find shelter or else be swept away..."

You rest your head against your back as she rides, faster. She slows, finding a safe spot. "I don't know how long we'll have to wait, but I used to come here when I was little... My grandparents don't live too far away."

"We're not getting anymore of your family members involved Ciro." She nods, getting off the speeder. You stand next to her, trying to ignore the gnawing fear in your heart. All your confidence from earlier and yesterday drain from you, turning your blood cold. This is a mistake.

* * *

You two stay under the overhang cave, Ciro taking her scarf and hanging it around the entrance. You find a far corner, seeing a small journal left there. While Ciro busies herself with equipment checks, you thumb through the diary curious. For the most part it's aged and faded, but the words you make out are those of Ciro years ago. She complained about the way her grandparents' home smelled, the heat, and missing her home and friends.

"What's that?"

Your heart stops, nervous she would not be happy that you're reading an old diary. "Nothing. It's just some text I found here." You toss it to her, clenching your fists to calm down. She looks through it before laughing to herself.

"I forgot all about this. Nyala... She came and got me so I forgot to bring it with me... It's all old now. So simple." She places back in the corner and sighs. "We got everything we need. Now we just wait for the storm to pass."

She sits beside you, resting her head on your shoulder. "Let's take turns for watch. I'm going to take second shift," she hands you the holopen. "The time is here, okay? Wake me in an hour. Then I'll do the next okay? Just until the storm passes."

You take the pen, nodding. "Okay. I'll wake you should something happens."

She smiles, "You're a good friend, (A/N)."

* * *

Time passes slowly and you keep checking to see if an hour passes. The storm picks up once half an hour comes. You readjust to Ciro's head, now in your lap. You wonder what you're supposed to be doing. You can't hear anything besides the wind snapping Ciro's scarf at the cave's mouth. There's also a loud rumbling, the whistling of wind.

Another few minutes pass when you do think you hear something. It sounds like a voice, muffled by the wind, but also robotic almost. "They came around earlier. Right before the storm." Your heart stops, your hand going to Ciro's shoulder. "This the speeder?"

"I believe so, Sir." Their voices intertwine because of the storm, but they stop. You're still frozen, waiting for them to charge. Nothing happens.

You wake Ciro at the hour. She stretches and checks around the small cave. You almost stop her from going to the entrance, terrified that they're still there. The storm is beginning to taper off. She comes back, grabbing her blaster. "Sorry, but I think we should begin moving."

"What? Why?" You try to stay calm, but it's getting harder and harder. "They're about to change shifts." Your eyebrows raise in confusion. She doesn't explain, only taking her scarf down and wrapping up again. "We're not going to die if that's what you're worried about."

You shake your head, "If only that was my only worry."

You both hop on the speeder and head to the burned adobe. She stops not too far from it, hiding the vehicle. "We can't be seen on it. They'll probably shoot before we have a chance," Ciro explains, getting off. She smiles at you, watching as your fumble with your weapon. "You look like a rookie."

"I am a rook--"

She covers your mouth, looking out from your new cover. "Shit. They got here quick." You stare at her desperate to tell her about earlier, but figure it's too late now. She lets go of your mouth, sighing. "They know we're here..." You say, feeling your heart race.

"Yeah, but we're not going to chicken out. Remember what we're here for." How can you forget.

"We'll be okay. (A/N), don't worry." Ciro spews her words of encouragement, clutching her blaster. You're not sure. Your hands are shaking. "I think we'll be able to do our best." The goal to get captured didn't change to both of your disappointed. Ciro looks over at the right. "I'm gonna run. If they come towards me, shoot. They're not killing anyone. Please, (A/N)... We only have one chance." You nod, leaning over to hug her. Your heart is in your ears. Poe would have a heart attack if he heard the full plan.

You watch her shoulders blur into the sunlight. She runs towards a trooper, hitting him in the back of the head with the butt of her blaster.

"How does it feel?" You hear her say.

The stormtrooper next to her doesn't shoot, only tackling her to the ground. She struggles under him, not giving up. That's your chance! You don't hesitate, seeing her face contort in pain as he begin to put his weight on her. He looks up, grabbing his weapon. You almost run away. She said they aren't going to shoot! You continue charging, closing your eyes in the heat. How could you continue? You feel a numbing pain at your side. Your mouth opens wanting to scream but it gets caught in your throat. As you fall into the sand, you see Ciro, hear her cry your name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thx 4 reading~


	56. Opera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader wakes up in captivity!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dealing w/demons :(  
> not a lot of poe/reader, though he is mentioned.

Your face scrunches up at the feeling of light. It's so warm and so bright. You're being watched. Your hand comes up to block it before coming down and pulling the covers around you over your face. You hear a small chuckle coming from your right. It sends shivers down your spine, a cold fear settling in your thoughts.

Were you hurt?

Where were you?

Are you safe?

Where's Ciro?

**Oh maker, where's Ciro?**

You open your eyes, revealing a smooth, black, glossy fabric. The light shines through, illuminating gray. You look down at your clothes, undisrupted. That worry leaves your mind. But where were you? You check your side, where you were sure you were hit, to find nothing. You were shot! You felt it. The pain...

Slowly you remove the cover from your head. The room is sleek in one word. The bed is centered, the sheets red. If you had any questions on where you were, they disappeared. First Order. But this isn't the treatment of a prisoner. You reach for your blaster finding yourself unarmed.

"You'd shoot your own father? Is that the person I raised?"

The voice makes your goosebumps raise all over. You missed it, haunting your dreams.

"This is a trick," you say quietly, staying still in the bed. You expect him to dissolve; the real monster, Kylo Ren, to come forward and make you tell him what he wants to know.

But your father emerges from the shadows instead. "Why would I trick you? You're too clever for your own good, child. You know that."

You can't look at him. He looks the same, but older, much older. The year hasn't been good to him. He continues, walking around the bed. "You're lucky you and that girl have me. They wanted to kill you. They have orders to kill Ciro," he pauses, touching his chest, "but I obviously intervened. Here you are, unharmed, unarmed. Safe with your father."

You definitely didn't feel that way.

He stalks around the bed, his eyes feeling like knives. "Where is she?" Your voice comes out choked. You didn't realize how thirsty you actually were, that sandy planet...

"The thief you call a friend? (A/N), I told you before. You should have taken better company than Ciro."

"Is she dead?" You can't stop your heart from pounding, sinking in your chest. It's all your fault this is happening. You shouldn't have pushed so hard. She'd be alive, you both would be. Back on the base, waiting for Poe, much safer than where you rest now. Oh Poe... You can't put into words how he would feel.

"Last I heard no. She's a fighter. I'll give her that," he sits on the edge of the bed. You move your leg away from him, closer to you. You don't trust him.

"Don't you want to know where you are? If the resistance is looking for you?" He smiles, the same way he used to.

You've missed it, but you don't smile back. "You'll lie."

He touches his chest again, offended. "Hurtful words for the man that saved you both. You should be on your knees, thanking me." You clench your fists as he stands. "I don't know if they are to be honest. They ran your ID, finding out that you unfortunately belong to me. That's how you're in my custody."

"And Ciro?"

"You and that girl. Are you a thing?"

You hesitate. Would it be safer to say so? You do feel that if you confess who your real love is, you could endanger many more. "Does it matter?"

He walks around the bed. You feel like a cornered prey. What happened to your father?

"I will not judge you. It only makes more sense why you would do such a idiotic move." The door opens, making your heart jump. A man walks in. You do not like the clacking of his boots against the tile floor, nor the glint in his icy blue eyes. Whoever he is, he's bad news. You give a silent prayer as he whispers something to your father. He looks you over while you raise the covers up to your neck. You want to disappear, escape. Ciro and you should have thought this through better.

"How rude of me. This is General Hux. Emperor one day, huh?" Your father jests with the man who doesn't smile back.

"You're quite optimistic today."

"Well, how could I not? My long lost child has returned to me." He introduces you to Hux who still looks smug. You want to punch him.

He simply nods, "I hope that they won't bring us any more trouble."

"Ah, no. They will be obedient like they always were."

You glare at them both, watching as Hux turned on his heel, "I'll keep you to your word, Senator. And don't be late."

Your father bows slightly, trying to show his rank. You don't relax when Hux leaves. You're now alone with your father again. "I'm glad you finally came back when you did. I'm--we--are about to be a part of a new revolution. I'm helping the General fund a new weapon to finally rid the Resistance. Your mother was mistaken when she thought it was a good cause, my dear (A/N). But a price was paid and now we rebuild."

You can't bite your tongue further. "You're the one who's wrong. The Resistance will protect the galaxies from the tyranny of the First Order. Father, don't you know that? They'll kill you once you're not what they need you anymore. Don't you know that?"

He advances across the room, his hand stinging your face. You hold your cheek, the sound reverberating in your ears, the room. He takes your chin firmly, making you stare at him. "It's not too late for me to have them kill you and that anarchist," he hisses, before harshly letting your face go. "I must leave. If you need to use the facilities, through that door. Anywhere else is not allowed." He straightens his coat and leaves.

Once the door closes, you break, your face contorting as sobs escape and wrack your body. How? How did this all happen? Why did this have to be the fate of your father? You couldn't make sense of any of it, missing your mother and brother. You hope that if your brother knew about this, he told your father to rot in fire. Your mother... You knew she knew, but her heart resided with the goodness that the galaxies could offer. You wonder if she really died by the Starkiller Base's weapon or by the hand of her love. You tire yourself with your crying, the muscles in your face sore. You don't know what else to do, afraid of what would happen if you did leave the confines of this room, so you go to sleep.

* * *

You feel eyes on you. You hate being watched. But when you wake, you're alone. You take your chance and decide to leave the bed. The floor is cool and smooth beneath your feet. You wish it wasn't, wanting to feel rough rocks, scratching and cutting your soles, match the way the environment affects you. The facilities match the black walls, making it hard to figure out the door. You press against each black marblite panel until one gave, turning into a new room. You wonder if you could hide in here. Your father would of course check and then probably ban you from coming in without anyone else present. You stare at yourself in the mirror that takes up the entire wall. Your eyes are still puffy from your crying and your cheeks flush. You clench your fist tempting to punch the reflection but hear a noise from the room. Your heart sinks and you want to run, but to where?

You open the panel, seeing it's your father and two others. They're not as important looking like that one general, but they hold this clothing on the bed. You flare your nostrils. It's a traditional dress from his homeworld. Your father doesn't say anything, but motions you over with two fingers.

"The people are having a show for the General, who invited me. I can't have you coming though, looking like one of those guerrillas." You wince at his words as he silently orders the two people to the side. "You will behave like a Senator's child."

"I want to know how Ciro is. And her family."

"Let's make a deal, okay? You do this for me, and do not act out and I'll tell you whatever you wish to know about your friend."

"Stick to your word," you state firmly. You can't afford to take him at face value.

"And you yours."

He leaves to let you change. The two people help you, making you remember what a pain it was to go to these functions. Your mother relished in the long traditions, loving the attention while you just wanted to be done. You were always bored at them, unless your cousins were around so you could get away for a bit. But now you resign as they tie the clothing together. It's not as extravagant as they were back home, but it is to a point. You don't like the colors, more black with white and red accents. You were in the First Order of course. They're silent as they harshly style your hair. You keep your face emotionless as much as you can. They pull away when your father comes back.

"We must go now." Your father drags you out.

You're blinded by the light in the hall. A stormtrooper unit surrounds you, guiding your father to the yacht. You can't see anything besides the white of helmets, so you look up. The sky is dark, abysmal. You don't know if you're actually outside or not. There is a draft that chills your clammy skin. The yacht is a stark white against the darkness. You're slightly relieved when you see it. Your father still leads as you walk up the steps.

The interior is white, but with red accents. There's not a hint of black anywhere, except for your outfits. You're surprised to see that the yacht isn't empty. There are others inside, officials who give your father warm nods. Traitors of the Republic. You try not to glimpse at their faces, not wanting to see any other familiars. One stormtrooper does stay with you two, in case of an attack. Or in your case, in case you rebel. They don't hold their blaster as tight as they did on the way, but you feel the barrel against your back if you don't walk as fast as your father.

He lets out a loud guffaw and opens his arms. "General Hux. I very much so appreciate this invitation." The General stands with a taller man, a mask unlike the stormtroopers. Black and scarred. You recognize from your nightmare from forever ago. "The pleasure of course is mine." They shake hands and you try to keep composed. You had to for Ciro.

"I am also surprised to see you Kylo Ren. What brings you to this opera?" The dark figure doesn't say much, glancing at Hux. "Supreme Leader suggested he come to my protest. He worries that something will happen while we are here."

"Ah, well if that's the case, you won't have to worry about my child here. They're to be the most obedient they can be." You realize the elaborate choker on your neck is not just decoration. Your eyes bore into your father. How could he?

"That's good to hear... Shall we get to our seats then?" Your father nods and you feel the barrel again.

* * *

You sit in between some Senator's wife and your father, but you know seats will change. You've been through this game before. Your father tells a story about one show he went to, years ago, while you all settle. You can tell the General is bored with him, but keeps the conversation going. Your father's only importance, like the other Senators, you suppose, is money. Your father's main homeworld wasn't destroyed, and because of his alliance, now a colony to the First Order. It's best if he keeps the relationship fresh for resources they need. Your eyes flick to Kylo Ren and you steel your mind, remembering Poe telling you once he can read minds. You try quickly to forget Poe, though now flashes of him kissing you, holding you close come. You can't lose him too.

He glances over at you and you look forward. When the conversation wanes with Hux, your father turns to you. "Child. You better look alive. Appearances matter." You glare at him, but flash a toothy smile. "Of course, Father." Kylo Ren looks away. Your father pats your hand and stands. "I'll be back. I think two Senators wanted to speak before the opera begins." He bows again to Hux and leaves. Your hands squeeze the armrests, nails digging into the metal.

Hux slips into the empty chair. Your eyes flick over to him before snapping to the front. You use your binoculars to see the stage. You never understood wanting to be far away and high from the stage. You could never see. This stage however had screens on both sides.

"Your father is such an asset to the rebuild of the First Order. But not as much when it comes to a Resistance fighter like yourself." You resist in telling him to screw off. "I can help you live longer. You and I both know that your time is limited."

You frown, "I don't think I can bargain anything with you now. Or ever."

He chuckles, "We'll see about that." You shiver again before feeling a pain in your head. You cry out, though no one cares. You see flashes of Poe, Leia, Luke... You linger on Luke, but he lets go as your father comes back. You try to keep yourself from crying, the pain gone, but the effects still lingering. "Think about my offer," Hux says going to his seat.

Your father notices your disposition but dismisses it as rebellion. "Go fix your face. We're in public." You practically run away, the storm trooper following.

These facilities are full as womankind stare at themselves in the mirrors. You wipe your eyes, wanting to call Poe, _anyone_  to help you. You don't want Kylo to do that again, hurt you like that. You don't think your father would stop it. A small woman with three eyes and red skin hands you a cloth silently. You wipe your eyes, embarrassed. She walks away before you can say thank you.

When you come back, your father is telling another story. Hux's eyes follow you as you sit, still shaken. You hate him and Kylo Ren, and the First Order, more than you could put into words. The story stops when the lights dim. "Ah, I can't wait to see what this story has to offer," your father says with a smile. Hux nods, eyes still on you.

* * *

Your mind drifts, the Opera is a rehash of a story you've heard before. Your father moves around and each time, you do hold on to his hand, slightly begging for him to stay. He only pats your head before going to some other Official. You worry that Hux will allow Kylo Ren to do it again, but he doesn't. He does sit beside you every time though. He says nothing, which to you is worse than him saying anything.

* * *

After the Opera, everyone in the balcony claps softly as the downstairs erupts. The story was warped to fit the First Order, their propaganda. When the lights come up, your father stands. "Such a good show. What did you think General, Kylo Ren?"

Hux gives a brisk nod. "A good display of pride. Something the troops who could come needed to see."

Kylo still sits, brooding. A Lieutenant comes up, a worried look in his eyes. "General, there's been some activity in the--" Kylo stands, igniting his saber to everyone's shock. "Luke..." He walks out, his steps heavy.

The General looks at you and then your father. You knew it was Poe. Poe's squadron... From the look of the Lieutenant, the Resistance was winning. "I'll need your child for questioning, Senator."

You drop to your knees, kissing your father's hand, anything to make him protect you. "Please let me stay with you, Father. Please! I-I-I'll do anything you want." He pulls you up, his eyes wild with bewilderment. "Why come to a show if I can get one just from my theatrical offspring. Go with General Hux. We are not arguing this."

You hold on to his arm, his body. "Please!" Your assigned trooper peels you away and forces you to follow Hux. There's no way now you'll survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks 4 reading. i hope im getting a hang of writing hux and ren.


	57. Rebellion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is interrogated by Hux and the real reason behind the panic is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this awhile ago but forgot abt it. :/ it's a lil violent/torture-like in the beginning and then.. violent at the end. it's a violent chapter. and given the current climate of the us politics :/ it's a lot. ~~hux is a nazi. the FO is nazi imagery~~  
>  F/N - Father's Name.  
> H/P - home planet

There's a slight panic around you while you follow the General. He doesn't answer anyone's question. The jumbled talk mostly goes to Kylo Ren's lightsaber. It dawns on you that even though everyone is smiles for the First Order, they're terrified. They all know that once the First Order doesn't need them, their life will be cut short. You're relieved and apprehensive all at once. All you hope is that they're okay, The Resistance. You don't want to make it back to the base and find an empty home...

Hux's ship is much nicer than the yacht. You wonder how they could afford these nice ships when they just lost their main base. The Resistance, who won that battle, struggles with resources. How? He helps you in, ignoring your shudder when he touches your back. "Since you are your father's heir, I won't toss you in the holding."

You clench your fist as he sits down on black leather. You can't place the animal, but know it must be from the Outer Rim. The trooper pushes you forward, making you sit across from him. The freighter starts up with a loud roar.

"We can talk as friends you know. I know how it is to want to rebel against your parents, especially your father. You think you know more than them, but they have to prove you wrong. Force you to conform. That's why you joined the Resistance isn't it?"

You ignore his gaze. He's lying. Ciro joined. You volunteered to not be alone over your break. You would return home if... "You don't know me."

"I want to get know you. It's easier that way, for the both of us," he smirks, "I can be a great asset to you if you want to go home."

"I want Ciro and her family safe."

"Ciro? That mouthy imbecile?"

You nod, "I only came to save her family."

He rolls his eyes, "How heroic. I cannot help with her family, but her. She's still alive due to your father, but not here on the ship and not where we're headed."

"Then take me back."

He shakes his head. "No. Absolutely not."

Your heart sinks. Ciro... You need to go back. You know your father. He thinks you're dead so Ciro's as good as dead as well, but no! That's not the case! "I won't tell you anything unless you get her."

He rubs his temples. "I'm not negotiating with a Senator's brat."

"Then I'm not speaking to a bastard like you."

It struck a nerve. He stands, wrapping his gloved hand around your neck then to your jaw. You struggle, your hands going to his wrist. "Shall I remind you that if it wasn't for your father, you would be another unidentified corpse rotting on that damned planet, Tatooine."

You pull at his arm, his sleeve coming up. "I'd rather be dead than tell you anything," you spit, clawing into his bare skin.

Hux tightens his grip. You try not to show signs of struggle, but your head fills with pressure. You're afraid you're going to pop. He lets go when the pilot comes over with an announcement.

You gasp and choke as air fills your lungs. The freighter barely got through the crossfire between the ships, but will reach the destination soon. You listen carefully, wondering if the destination was a planet, a moon, somewhere so you could share it with Poe if you ever saw him again. It's a string of numbers, coordinates. The announcer doesn't repeat it and you can't commit it to memory. You glare at him as he sits down. "I'll get my answer then now won't I?"

Hux calls to a protocol droid, asking for two drinks. You clench your fist as the droid goes to complete its task. His eyes return to you, resting his chin on his fist and pulling out a holopad. "Let's start with the basics. You're (A/N), daughter of Senator (F/N) of (H/P), former student at the University of Hosian Prime... Ah, you were so close to graduating top of your class. So you're smart..." He scoffs, his eyes cutting into your own. "Not too smart if you joined the villains of the Resistance." He continues, naming your deceased family members, your other academic honors.

"What does that have to with anything?" The droid comes back and he takes his drink. The trooper takes yours, placing it near on the end table.

"Drink. You must be so thirsty."

You are, but you can't take any risks. "I'll pass."

He looks at the stormtrooper and then back at you.

Within an instance, the trooper's hand squeezes your jaw, forcing you to open your mouth. You try to close it, closing your eyes and struggling to move out of the grip. The cup is so cold against your lips and the drink is far too sour and carbonated. Once it's all down, you're let go. The front of your dress is drenched with the liquid, your sweat, tears and saliva. You lean forward, choking. Your throat is burning and your vision blurs with more tears. Hux tsks, "(A/N), it would be easier if you just did things my way." Your coughing keeps your from saying anything you'd regret.

"What was your position in the Resistance?" Hux asks, when your coughing subsides. "A nurse."

"That's odd considering your lack of knowledge in your academic history. You'd be better as an ambassador. You're lying."

You flinch before shaking your head. "No, I really was." You try your best to stay calm. You don't want him to be upset over the truth, even if it sounded unreliable. "Why. Why did they make you a nurse?"

"I excelled... Ask my father. If it wasn't for my older brother, I would have taken that route."

He looks you over before moving on. "The Resistance has moved from the Illineum System am I correct? It wouldn't be a good decision for them to stay right?" You clench your jaw. You'd keep the new base secret. "Even though the Starkiller Base has been destroyed, the First Order is stronger than the Resistance will ever be. People learned from the Empire that the galaxy needs Order and to be kept in their place. The Republic proved that it couldn't be that Order. You and I both know that. Why do they attack now?"

"I wouldn't know. I'm a nurse." You murmur before there's another announcement.

"General, there's been word from the Star Destroyer ship. It wasn't Resistance. It was a rebellion."

"Has it been resolved?"

"Yes sir. Quickly. Senator (F/N) requests for his child back. They've nothing to do with it." Hux cuts his eyes to you. "Saved by the call, hmm."

He gets up and goes to the other room, leaving you alone. You sit back in your chair exhausted. Not the Resistance... You close your eyes, thinking of Poe even more. You wish you could speak to him, or something so he could reach you... You open your eyes when you hear Hux's heavy footsteps. "You shall be reunited with your father soon. We however will talk more, after the rebels are made an example when you defy the First Order."

You snort sleepily. "I don't think you have enough to be so cocky."

You're stunned awake by a hard slap. You hold your face, leaning over the chair. "Say what you will. You're still a prisoner."

* * *

The rebels are in the square of whatever this place is. You find your father near the front with the other rebels. There are stormtroopers in attire which you've never seen in real life. They're in all black, holding their guns at the deemed troublemakers. Kylo Ren isn't there to your surprise. He did say Luke before he stormed off and you half expected to see the older Jedi among the captured. Hux leaves you with your father as he joins the other high officials.

"Today marks the day you rebels will pay for your treason," he states. His voice echos in the small hall and the spectators all begin to jeer. Hux frowns and the stormtroopers around hold their guns towards them, towards you. "Silence!" Hux demands and when the crowd calms, the stormtroopers put their weapons down.

' _The First Order will bring order to this chaos._ ' You shudder at how quick the people around conformed at the threat of death. "We cannot let this go unchecked as we have lost considerable pilots and ships due to your insolence. To keep this rebellion from growing, you and your family will be terminated immediately." You hear people in the crowd begin to cry as the stormtroopers weed them out and bring them towards the captured. You don't recognize anyone to your sad relief as they stand in a line. Your father covers his mouth and his eyes are dark. You know he's praying. He hates death and even though he is not the man you once loved, he still resides inside.

You look up at Hux who stands with his hands behind his back. "Troopers on my mark." The rebels try to cower, stand in front of each other, the children... You close your eyes as he yells fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading.. also i think krennic was the only one to have deathtroopers? but im bringing them back bc unfortunately they look cool and also bc like krennic, hux is an asshole.


	58. Black Squadron

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe returns and is given a secret mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how i feel abt changing the perspective, but it makes sense 4 me lol. italics bc of it's in poe's perspective. also imma post the second chapter right after this.

_A smile rests on his lips, exhausted and victorious. "We're almost to the base. How is everyone holding up?" BB-8 cheerfully beeps his answer and his pilots chime in. Everyone is tired, but happy to have their lives._

_Karé chuckles, "What's the first thing you're going to do when we get back?"_

_Poe looks at the bright lights around him and sighs heavily. "Hit the refreshers. Give a debriefing of this mission..." His voice trails. He doesn't say what Karé want him too. Instead Poe rests back. He's thinking it. He imagines you being there, waiting. Unlike last time, he won't have to find you. You'll be there so radiant, waking him right up. His smile widens, wondering what you've been up too. He called that signal, that holo pen when they first went into hyperspeed. But the signal didn't go through, dead. He figured it was a fluke that you had that pen and let it go. He'd see you once he got back home..._

_BB-8's noises bring him back from his thoughts. "Okay everyone. When we get back, take an hour to relax, get your mind together. We'll debrief in sixty." The squadrons give their approval and they enter the atmosphere._

_He feels it in his bones. Something is wrong. When they land in the hangar, he sees the waiting crowd, but notices your face missing. He clenches his jaw, figuring you were working again. He'd happily stop by of course. He's been away too long. Two, three weeks. He accidentally lost count, lost men._

_Poe hops out of the X-Wing and flashing his charming smile at the General who waits with her hands clasped behind her. Her eyes are sad. Poe reasons that it's the lost of infantry. He shouldn't have been so cocky early on, but it did pay off. He just wishes the bloodshed on the Resistance's side would have been less. He couldn't afford to lose anyone._

_"Commander Dameron. Back in one piece," she says with a small smile. "I try." BB-8 rolls next to him and she nods in his direction. "Dameron. We need to talk." Poe's smile melts away. He hopes that the talk will be short. He doesn't want you to wait too long._

* * *

_The room is smaller than the one at D'Qar, but he isn't sure if it's because of the tablets she has on the table. Noticing his eyes on them, Leia sighs. "Alderaan texts. A gift from some smuggler. People... **did** like Han. Even if he didn't pay them back. I've been receiving gifts off and on as people find out." _

_She sits on the edge of her desk and looks at him, her eyes still pitiful. He's never seen the General this way, not even over lost men. She still doesn't look at him._

_"It's still a terrible loss. I wish there was something we could have--"_

_She waves her hand away, hearing it all before. "We both knew he probably wasn't coming back..." She glances over at him, her face serious. "Poe. I have to share some unfortunate news with you, but you can not act rash. Please wait until I'm finished with everything before you react..."_

_She moves to her chair and sits. Poe sits across from her, watching as she opened her holopad. His mind however reels. Something must be wrong with his father... He is getting old. He's Han's age and was doing too many physically straining activities. He isn't ready to lose his last living family member._

_"(A/N) and their friend Ciro were lost on the planet Tatooine. Oddy Muva dropped them off at the Resistance base based on orders they said you gave them. But they were gunned down. We couldn't find their bodies, but we recovered Ciro's tags..."_

_Poe's heart sinks, his fists clench. He opens his mouth. He didn't trust Oddy. **This is a lie.** So many questions go through his mind and he looks over at Leia who stares at him. She's waiting to see if he'll say something. His eyes brim with tears however. _

_S_ _he continues, "I don't think they're dead. I didn't feel it when they told me. (A/N). They're a Senator's child right? I think that may be it. Do you know anything about their father, where--if he's alive--he would be?" Poe sits thinking hard. He rests his chin against his fist. You never mentioned your father besides that you believed he was dead, nothing to worry about."_

_Have you check their home planet?"_

_Leia shook her head no. "No, not yet. I didn't want to risk the resources while you were away with most of our men." Poe nods, understanding. Her screen lights up, receiving a message. Their eyes meet and she lets it play._

* * *

_Poe stares at himself in the mirror. He told Snaps to go give the meeting in his place. There's an old cut above his right temple he got earlier in the battle. He knows that if you were here, you would fuss over it. The thought makes him smile. His hand runs through his hair, freshly washed. He's kept that beard; you said he could keep it. There's a bit of gray in it now and he sighs. He's getting old..._

_He moves to his bed, resting his face in his hands. He's cursed. The love of his life being taken from him again. He sees Muran, the last moment with Muran. He tries not to cry, biting his lip. Your last moment with him would not end in tragedy, he thinks. He quickly wipes his face and stands. His door opens and Karé's there, arms crossed. "This will be just like old times."_

_Poe pats her back and nods. "If I trust anyone to help with this mission, it's my Black Squadron."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks 4 reading... :'))))))))))))))))))))


	59. Love Will Tear Us Apart. Again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader's life goes in eventless circle until Ciro is released and joins them in their imprisonment. But, they come to an agreement that they'd rather die than deal with General Hux and plan their escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> m'dudes. we're coming to the end... i just want u to kno tht. this is also long. violence ensues and stuff. idk how to describe it. this is also more fragmented bc that's just how it feels for the reader. time is a concept >:|

When you sleep, you dream of Poe. You try diligently to think of something else, lately the small explanations from your father about Ciro. Today's explanation is that she's being interrogated about her work and he doesn't know how long that will take. But still once you reach your dream state, he is. Tonight's dream is on a beach you've never been and his smile as warm as this strange sun. You reach out to touch his cheek and he moves to kiss the palm of your hand. It feels so real, you catch yourself laughing in your sleep.

The laugh wakes you, but you keep your eyes closed. It's the first time you've laughed in real life in a long time. You do not know how long you've been away. You do not know if Poe is looking for you, the Resistance in general. Hux doesn't come by often and your father leaves you in this room for hours on end. The only faces you see are droids bringing you "food," really a mush of nutrients. The thought makes your stomach rumble. You haven't ate it since the first day, washing it down the refresher. You read about fasting as nonviolent protests against the Empire and decided that it was easy enough for you to do around your father. You ignore how weak you've been feeling however and try your best to go to sleep. You try your best again to not think of Poe. How real he felt...

* * *

Your father wakes you up with his usual way. Loud music from the other room. You cover your head and keep Poe's image in your mind just for a little bit longer. He's sleeping, hair a mess and stubbled. His door opens and you curl into a ball, acknowledging his existence.

"(A/N). It's time to wake for the day. Today is a good day. A Beautiful Perfect Day." You don't move the covers from your head. With a hard tug, he does. "Don't start the day like this, sweetheart. You'll be much happier when I tell you more."

You doubt it and sleepily glare at him. "Ciro gets out today."

* * *

You're in an outfit similar to the Opera one as you and your father are escorted to the holding cells. You're nervous and relieved at the same time, focusing on phase two: Ciro's family. And then phase three: getting the hell out of here. You didn't know your plan had phases until your father told you the news.

 

"You're a liar." You spit, rolling to face away.

"I'm not. Why would I lie about your friend?"

"To get me to talk."

"About what exactly?"

"The Resistance."

"I care little about the Resistance compared to my colleagues. I know what they're capable of and I know that they will not come for me or my blood." His last words sting. They will come, you think. Poe would not allow for you to be another loss in the war.

  
The lights in the cells are dim, lonely. Every step hurts your heart. How long have they kept her in these conditions? You wonder if you were acting too privileged earlier, not eating when Ciro probably didn't eat for days on end until they decided her interrogation be finished...

She's sitting on the bench in the lobby. Her eyes look glazed, but her clothes are clean, her hair longer and stringy. You can't contain yourself when you see her, running to her fast. The stormtroopers yell out, but it's too late. You wrap your arms around your friend, crying. You're too weak to do anything more. Ciro barely reacts to your touch and the troopers don't interfere. Your father called them to a halt.

* * *

Back in your small room, Ciro sits on the bed. She hasn't said a word and you're getting skittish. You sit next to her and this time when the droid comes, you do eat some of the mush and try to feed Ciro. Her mouth doesn't open.

You talk to her, almost messing up and talking about Poe. You figure the room is bugged and talk to her about the massacre, the time with Hux and how you're lost. You don't know what day it is, how long they've been missing.

Ciro glances at you and then lie back on the bed. "My family..." Your breath catches as you wait for more. She turns her head to look at you. "They're okay... Back on Tatooine..." The words attack your heart, your brain. "Hologram message got sent to me through a network of spies... That was before the massacre of course. They found out soon after. And my family is safe now that I'm here. Your father stopped my execution, (A/N)." You stare down at your friend, emotions filling you up.

"I don't know what to do with my life now, knowing that as soon as I leave, my family will be in danger. I can never talk to them, be with them without having a target on my back, their back..." Ciro shakes her head when she sees a few tears fall from your eyes. "This was a shit plan, (A/N). I wish they would have kill--"

"Stop." You wipe your eyes, holding back a waterfall. "We'll fix this."

"Will we really? All this has gotten us so far is stuck on a mining planet with people struggling to survive with the First Order dictating their every move. Even your father. What's he getting out of saving me?"

You lie back next to her. "Me."

All of it hurts. There's nothing else to say about it. "We gotta get out of here..." Ciro doesn't say anything, but you know she agrees.

* * *

You and Ciro share this room and nights aren't so lonely anymore. You talk about times on Hosnian Prime most of time and fall asleep in each other's arms. Ciro talks about this girl back on Tatooine she wants to marry. You've heard about this girl, the one who likes to garden. You rest your head close to hers as she continues to describe her. You can see this woman in your head. Her skin dark and sun kissed. Her hair kinky and sun bleached. She has bright eyes. Ciro covers her face, thinking of her muscles that come through when she's lifting something.

Your mind drifts and you think of Poe. You hate not being able to talk about him, fearing for his life, your own. Ciro notices your shift and sighs. "It'll be okay." You smile, snuggling close. "Thank you."

Your father walks in, fixing his cuffs. "Tomorrow is a very special day, children. General Hux is coming for dinner. We'll be discussing important plans for the First Order... And you two being from The Resistance will not be able to attend in case anything gets out."

Ciro sits up straight. She doesn't trust your father. Neither do you and you watch him from your angle. "What will come of us then?"

"You will be good little angels. I can't leave you two here alone, so you will attend." He reaches in his pocket and reveals these devices. "They go into your ear. You won't be able to hear anything confidential." He tosses one to Ciro then to you. Neither of you put it in, afraid of what will happen. "You'll be able to hear the music of the Republic, other music. The talkies that I know you like, (A/N)." You stare at the device. "All you two have to do is look pretty and pay attention to that. Plus, I hear the dinner will be scrumptious. The General really has outdone himself this time." Seeing that the devices stay where he tossed them, your father grabs them. "So they don't get lost... Now I must go. I have a meeting."

When he's gone Ciro shakes her head. "We're not going to that dinner with those things in our ears. I've seen them before. The workers in the holding have them so they can't hear the screams. Only their boss can take them out. If they try, it fries their brain."

You cover your mouth in shock, rolling to your side. "What will we do then?"

She shrugs, nervously looking around. "I don't know yet." She stares at the bed for a long time and you know she's making a plan. "It will be soon. I'm sure of that."

* * *

Ciro wakes up before you. You notice her shuffling a lot of more than usual. You sit up, noting that your father is still in bed. He wakes up with his home planet's anthem playing loud, always has. You don't understand it, but leave him be. Ciro puts on the only outfit she has, the one from the holding cell.

"We're leaving, now." Your eyebrows bunch up. Today is important to your father. General Hux is coming to visit. You and Ciro spent the night cursing his name, even doing a curse Ciro remembered from the Sand Witches. It would make him feel like he had sand in the most uncomfortable places.

The consensus you both came too is that General Hux is a terrifying man and you would rather risk your lives escaping than being around him for a second.

You suck in a deep breath and decide to just go with it. The worst outcome is death, but that's for every situation. You could sit wrong around him and die. Leaving feels the same.

You dress in the first dress, the stains cleaned and pressed out of course. Ciro stares at the fabric before shaking her head. "A Senator's child always stands out..." You chuckle quietly before holding your breath. Everything sounds too loud. You expect your father to burst in, catch you two. You stare at her outfit before shaking your head.

"Put on my other one. They'll recognize you as trouble with this on," you whisper before quieting again. She does as you say, quickly as possible. She tries her best not to make noise and accidentally steps her foot down too hard. You both stare, eyes wide.

But nothing happens as you two reach the door. You slip out first, Ciro following. You hold your head high, pretending like you had a purpose. The place is covered in stormtroopers. You would have a hard time getting anywhere without a commotion.

A stormtrooper approaches like clockwork. "Citizen, state your purpose." You falter for a second, before coming up with something to say. "Me and my friend wanted to take a night walk. It gets restless in our small apartment." Ciro cowers behind you, worried about her face.

"You need an escort."

You smile brightly at the white helmet. "Will you be our escort then? We're not accustomed to this new way of life." The trooper touches where you assume is a mic in their ear, asking for permission. You bite your lip nervously. You don't know what they'll do. They could turn you in to your father.

"Only for a few moments. Then you have to go back." Their voice is almost childlike with annoyance.

You nod, graciously smiling. "Thank you. We really won't be long."

You lead the way, the trooper trailing behind. Ciro watches you intently. You have an idea, but you don't know if it will work. You're absolutely shaking as you take each step until you reach an alley. Ciro knows immediately.

You start down, hearing the echoes of miners, the ships coming and going. The stormtrooper follows, gripping their gun tightly. They don't trust you two, wisely in your opinion.

Ciro hangs beside them in the cramped space before stabbing them with a shank she made. She made it from a tile in the refresher. She figured no one would notice the shard missing. Earlier that night you two used it for the curse, cutting your palms and mixing it along with the ancient words.

The trooper calls out but falls. "Hurry!" She says as you two struggle with the stormtrooper armor. The arms and legs are the hardest, but you two get it off easily, adrenaline a hell of a drug. You both gasp when you realize see how young the trooper is. A young boy with soft blonde hair. You don't take time to mourn, giving Ciro the helmet and keeping watch as she dresses up. The look is a little too big for her, but you doubt anyone will notice. You leave the old dress behind and cover the exposed child. Whatever will come of him is none of your business.

You return to the main walkway, your heart still in your ears. Ciro mimics the gait of a stormtrooper behind you. Her breathing is too loud however and you almost tell her to shut up but keep your mouth shut. You understand why she's feeling this way.

You bite your lip, _what now what now?_ The question tears you apart. You know that if you get caught, the worst will come. There is no escape now. Damn, you should have kept Oddy. You really needed a pilot.

As if someone heard your prayers, you see a flash in the sky. Ciro does too and next thing you hear is the screech of TIE Fighters and the alarm. "Shit." She grabs your arm and you two start running along with the rest of the people awake. People indoors make their way out too eventually. Sleep clings to them as they sleepily try to run away from chaos. It's only one ship you realize that penetrates the shield. You wonder who it was that caused such a ruckus until you see more. The Resistance you assume and you and Ciro hide in a now abandoned apartment.

She stays close to the door, hearing sounds of blasters shooting and the thud of TIE Fighters. She laughs to herself, watching the fight from her view. "Did you know this was going to happen?" You ask, still catching your breath. TIE Fighters terrified you. You hate the scream and that's all you can hear outside along with crashes.

"Sort of..." She looks down at the blaster. "Spies have a way of... getting out." She glances up at you when she hears another TIE Fighter go by. "Get down!" You do as she says and you lie beside each other as the building falls around you.

You close your eyes tight, knowing dust and debris is everywhere. Ciro's arm is around your waist, keeping you close. The breathing from the helmet let you know she's alive. You're jealous she's armored while you can't feel your legs. "(A/N)! Are you okay?" She asks after a moment. You're afraid to answer, feeling so weak. She pushes up on the roof that covers you two and rolls you over. She wipes your face so carefully and then checks for your pulse. "Come on baby... You gotta live for me... For Poe..."

Your lips crack into a smile, hearing how scared she was. You're careful not to cough on the dust. She shakes her head and stands. "We gotta get to a safe area and make sure that they know we're here. I hope my Captain got my message..." She helps you up, but your legs are worse for wear.

You lean on her until you feel strong enough. You open your eyes to a blurred vision. She stops, seeing a dead trooper and takes their helmet off. You can't see who they were underneath and are surprised to the inside of the helmet. It's vision is also blurred, but this time with blood. A headshot. She wipes it off and you can see for moment. You can also breathe a little easier. "Come on... We gotta move, (A/N)!"

You two struggle, people everywhere. You hear sometimes kids crying. It hurts your heart, but you keep on. You can't afford to mourn. Ciro's blaster goes off too whenever stormtroopers get too close or civilians take her for First Order. It's a war, you tell yourself. People die.

Once you pass the thick of it, Ciro knows where she's going. She's almost mechanical, a turn here, no here. Okay...

She stops, letting you sit. "Rest okay? The fighting is almost over," you hear her say. You look at the lights in the helmet getting lost in the numbers, the meanings. The light however dims. You're not in a suit. There's no reason for it work.

* * *

It seems like forever before the fighting stops. You take your helmet off, the air inside getting thinner. Ciro's already taken hers off. She's staring at the sky, almost calm. "They're leaving..." She points at the yachts. "Your father is probably on one, you realize that? He will write you off as dead and you'll be free. Same with me..." She sighs, looking at your head. "You look bad... We need to get you medical help when we can okay?" You nod slowly, vision blurring. Ciro continues talking, explaining that leaving your dress meant the worst for him. You hear her mention her captain again, but it sounds like an echo...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks 4 reading m'loves.


	60. The One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader has returned to the home planet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry this is short. i'll update more soon. school is out~ may the 4th b w/ u

_"You got lucky Ciro. Your friend on the other hand..."_

_"Tell me they'll be okay. They have to be okay. I tried to keep them safe, but TIE Fighters got our building... It should be me..."_

_"Don't talk like that. They're safe now. They will need to be watched until they are stable however. The Commander is already aware of their situation. He'll be here soon."_

A beat.

_"You should probably go when he's here. He might not know how to react..."_

Another one, this one longer.

_"It's not my--"_

_"Ciro. I'm not saying this to blame you, but you must understand this situation... It doesn't bode will for you or your friend. And if what you tell me is true, you two will need to lie low. For your families' sake. We do not need their father making an appear-- Commander Dameron, you're here faster than we were expecting."_

_"I wanna see them. They'll live right?"_

_"They will... They need to rest. As requested, a bacta tank is on the way."_

_"Shouldn't it already be here?"_

_"C-Commander. We're doing all we can. Please..."_

Shuffles of feet, weight.

_"We'll leave you two be. They can't see you, but they can hear you. You can talk to them if you wish to."_

* * *

 

It feels like a dream to hear his voice and you want to force your eyes open, but nothing happens. His hand squeezes your own and he sighs. "You're a kriffing prize, (A/N)..." His voice is soft, but you hear the edge. You scared him. "I don't even know what to say..." He rests his head against your hand, your arm. His beard scratches your skin. Unconsciously, your arm twitches away. He lifts up at the contact. You wonder if he's staring at your face, if he thinks you're faking this. Were you? You try again to open your eyes to no avail.

"Well. I'll tell you about the mission. What I can anyway," he clears his throat and sits back.

His thumb brushes over the top of your hand. "The mission was successful. We lost men, but our men. The Resistance is resilient. We found a lot of important information, where people like your father are. What they are doing to survive... It's interesting to see what people do when they're afraid. I was going to meet this Senator that said they'd help after we basically sieged a First Order stronghold. But that's when I heard about you. I sent Snap and the Blue Squadron. I trust them... Red went with me to save you and Ciro."

He pauses shifting in his seat. "I was so scared when General Organa told me. I was thinking not again. Not you too... I was like, I grew my beard out and you're gone? My love, I could not handle--"

Beeping interrupts him and continues. He lets go of your hand. "Right now? Can they wait a moment?" BB-8's beeps get further away and Poe stands, cursing under his breath.

"I'll be back." He leans down kissing your forehead.

* * *

Your eyes flicker open in a new bed. It's still medibay. You barely remember the bacta tank. You weren't in long as the personnel thought it too much for your injuries. You scan the room with your eyes before focusing on the figure sitting on the edge of your bed. You wonder how long she's been there. She's scrolling through a holopad, focused.

"Am I in trouble?" Your voice comes out barely a whisper, but she hears.

A smile comes on the General's lips. "Yes, but nothing serious. You and Ciro are on an all hours watch and restriction. And I have to question you. I've already talked to your friend."

You focus on her features. She's younger than you would have guessed but she holds so much on her shoulders. Her eyes still are kind and she stands. "Poe knows I'm here if that's what you're wondering. I sent him out. There are things that he needs to know that he'll learn in the debrief and there are things that I'll leave up to you to share."

You resign in your bed. "I feel like a prisoner..."

"You are, technically. You tricked a pilot into taking a ship to Tatooine, get 'murdered' by the First Order, not once but twice and make back to the Resistance alive. Why be a nurse when you're a literally spy?" Leia chuckles, sitting back down. "Do you want to talk here or my office?" You look around the rest of the room. The sterile room makes you uncomfortable, thoughts of your father flooding your mind. Here is the opposite, white everywhere compared to the sea of black. "Can we talk in your office?"

* * *

You wobble on your legs, but walking is easy. Leia's office is not that far you find. She helps you sit and you look around. It's decorated with honors and scattered papers and holomessages. She watches as you get comfortable in the seat, figuring it would be a while. "Who taught you to sit like that?" She asks, sitting in the seat next to you the same way.

Nervously, you tuck your hair behind your ear. Has it gotten longer since you were last here? "Madam Orsean."

Her eyes light up and she smiles, "Madam Orsean? Ah... She taught me too. I thought her classes were a bore. I wanted to learn more about politics, go to the Senate with my father, but Mama said it was just as important and told me about the Great Senator Padme Amidala and how she knew how to sit to destroy someone's life," she drifts off. "Anyway, I thought she perished with the others when they destroyed Alderaan... I'm happy to hear she survived."

"She was very interesting... By the time she taught me, she was settling down. She married one of her maidens."

"Really?" Leia stands and goes to her chair behind the desk.

You straighten, knowing your interrogation begins.

"Tell me about your family."

You sigh, a mental block was there. It was safer that way.

"My parents... I don't think they loved each other. They were arranged and my mother's parents soon after the marriage were killed... They were visiting Alderaan, meeting with your father," your speech picks up, feeling so odd talking about them, "so my mother became the sole heir and owner for her father's merchant business. She hated the Empire and gave most of her earnings to her home planet. My father was a rising politician and floated between whatever would give him good press and coverage. I used to believe he was a good man, that he never would have sided with the Empire, but now..."

You tense, looking away from Leia's gaze. "They waited until after the war to have children. My mother... I don't think she wanted him to touch her, but he needed an heir. They had my brother first and then me. Two perfect children I suppose. My mother doted on us both while my father treated us like projects. My brother would be a doctor. I was going to be a scholar. I didn't really care because my mother said I'd be good at it. But... When Ciro joined the Resistance, my father was so angry. He told me not to hang out with her, but she was my best friend. She's my only family left now. I left and now I'm here... Again."

"What happened when you were with your father again?"

You cross your arms and look away. You don't want to talk about it. At all. It's paralyzing, thinking of what could have happened to you if you failed to comply. "He acted like he missed me, but his actions... He gave me a shock collar. He didn't use it. I don't even know if it was electric or not now. He fed me this mush while he ate these fancy meals... He let me get--"

You can't continue, thinking of Kylo Ren. The lump in your throat grows and she moves to sit next to you. "It's okay. You're a survivor. And with your account, we're one step closer to beating the First Order. Just tell me what you're comfortable with. I know how it is..."

You nod and sigh. "I saw Kylo Ren. He... Entered my mind. I wanted to die right then. And my father didn't do anything. The General... Hux? He was also terrifying. He didn't do anything though... He hit me, but that was all. I felt like if I stayed, he would do more. He always brought me little gifts and I would throw them away with my mush."

"Did you hear of any future plans?"

You shake your head no, "My father was very particular when he spoke around me. They're trying to find funding for the next weapon. My father's money can go so far..."

"Where would they go now that the old base is compromise?"

You hesitate, not sure if you could remember those coordinates. "When I was with Hux, the announcer mentioned these coordinates." You write them down, shaking your head. "It might not be correct, but it's something. My father's home planet is (H/P). That might help you too. But he doesn't go there. He's only from there in name only..." She nods and touches your hand.

There's a calm and she removes her hand. "Poe's probably looking for you." She nods towards the door and you leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks 4 reading~


	61. Unfair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and the reader reunite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so close to the end lmao. but also the title is from [marilyn monroe by sevdaliza.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkjU9ladxKs) also this is angsty af. also let me know if things repeat. my computer is acting weird lol

You should have asked to change before you left. The bright white of the medical outfit seems to bounce off the walls. It could be the stares that make it noticeable. You can hear their thoughts: You should have stayed there. You're a rebel in the wrong way. Your father is a traitor, so that means you are too. When you glance at them, they hurriedly look away and walk by.

By the time you reached the hangar, you feel Leia's words. You're not a prisoner, but dammit, you're not free either.

Poe's X-Wing is not there. There's a pang in your heart as you see an empty spot. Did he leave because he didn't want to see you? Did your trip hurt him so badly that he had to go? A mechanic comes up to you. From their expression, you're sure that they don't know you. "Hey, are you lost? Med Bay is that way... I can help you back if you need it." You shake your head, still transfixed by Poe's marked absence. "Where did he go?"

You shake your head, still transfixed by Poe's marked absence. "Where did he go?"

Their brow furrows. "Commander Dameron? Well, I think he went to Med Bay not too long ago. I don't know though. He left in a hur--"

"Then what about his ship?" The mechanic realizes who you are and their confusion melts away. "Oh that... It was lost when you were gone. But he's getting a newer, better one with our new allies in the Senate."

You tear your eyes away from the empty spot. "You should probably get back though. Poe's been waiting for you to wake up." You nod and start leaving.

A familiar beeping comes from behind you as you make your way down the bright white hallway. You turn, waiting for BB-8 to make his way to you, but he goes right on by. His noises aren't for you; they're for Poe. You follow behind your heart racing. Of course, you want to see him. You missed him since he left. But...

He's at the entrance, talking to the nurse. "They're not back yet? Leia should have kept them here... Or one of you should have stayed with them, waiting outside. You know the orders." You bite your lip. A prisoner.

The nurse notices you and nods. "They've just arrived back. Must have gotten lost. It's been a while since they were here..." You brace yourself for his look. His hair is a little longer, and he's growing out his beard like he said he would. He has a scar above his eyebrow that's getting old and his eyes are tired.

You barely have time to say his name before his arms wrap you in the tightest embrace. You bury your head in his shoulder, remembering his scent and the way his uniform feels against your face. He pulls away slightly to pepper your face with kisses, his beard scratching your sensitive skin. Poe stands back, holding your face, checking it over, his eyes misty. The gesture sends chills up your spine, thinking of your father who held your chin the same way but roughly many times when you didn't obey.

"(A/N)..." His voice trails off and he wipes his eyes. "Dammit. I said I wouldn't cry," he whispers, hearing BB-8 beep, offering a rag.

Cautiously, you touch his cheek. It's prickly and new, but still, the same as you knew him. After those long nights of steeling your mind to not think of Poe for both of your safety, you can't believe he's real now. "Let's talk somewhere private," he suggests. He's a bit calmer after wiping the tears and his hand goes up to yours.

* * *

Private is his room, your room. He sits on the bed with a heavy sigh as it creaks loudly. Unlike his appearance, the room looks untouched and clean. Goosebumps rise on your scalp as you sit next to him. He doesn't say anything, keeping the space between you. Poe clears his throat, turning to you. "You don't have to tell me everything that happened when you were gone. You don't even have to tell me anything at all," he sighs, his hand creeps over to yours. It's gentle and your heartbeat quickens. You haven't felt a gesture so tender since he left. "I just want to know if you're okay. And how to make you feel better if you aren't."

Your eyes trail to the ground. "I couldn't think of you... I was scared that if I did think of you, they would know of us and that it would put us in more danger. You've enemies in the First Order."

He laughs, squeezing your hand, "We all have enemies in the First Order, love." He can't meet your eyes, however.

"You're not telling me the truth," you say softly.

"What am not I not telling you?" He asks, removing his warmth. You wish you hadn't said that, wanting him to return to you. You dreamt of him, felt him all those lonely nights galaxies away. "You're not happy with me."

He scoffs, crossing his arms. He looks at the wall in front of you two. "I'm a little frustrated I guess."

"You guess?"

He glances over at you and then looks back at the wall. "You did the stupidest thing I thought anyone could do. You lied, got one of my men to take you to Tattoine. Get captured and almost killed if it wasn't for your father... I don't even know what happened to you while you were with your father. And then Ciro sends a distress message that could have gotten destroyed and you two would have been killed and never heard of again." He takes a breath. "Just a little frustrated..."

You stare at your feet again. "I wanted to help."

"(A/N). You help me by staying here. By not leaving. By abiding by our rules. By being a nurse. When you're here, you are safe. No one is going to kill you for overhearing something. No one is going to kill you for a mistake. Out there? You get killed. It's a war. We lose too many people, every day. People are fighting for their livelihood."

"I was fighting for mine! For Ciro's! Her family!"

"Yeah? And what do you got to show for it? You had a nice shiner and bruises all over your body from a building falling on you."

"Her family thinks she's dead! The First Order thinks she's dead."

His hands raise along with his voice. "And she can't go back to visit them until this is over because of what you two pulled. I really..." His voice trails and he rests his hands on his thighs.

"When General Organa gave me the news, I thought not again. I didn't want to lose you too." His voice softens, but he doesn't reach for you. Your hand goes to his, entwining your pinky with his. He doesn't react, his eyes straight ahead.

"I'm here now. You can read my report, Ciro's report. I was going to live. I was going to live for you." "That's not the point," he stands abruptly. He rubs the bridge of his nose. "I keep thinking of what would have happened if they did just kill you like usual Resistance. I see you now, but I see your corpse," he caresses your cheek, "or when you arrived. How broken you were." He pulls away as his eyes swell with tears.

You reach out for his hand to no avail. "Poe, I'm a soldier too."

"(A/N) as the Commander of the Resistance, you must obey the rules and follow the leadership of the Resistance or we'll have to punish you." You sit taken aback. He takes the chair from his desk and sits across from you. "The General and other higher ups dealt out your punishment. I just want you safe. You disobeyed by leaving and conspired against to do what you felt was right," he sighs. "You're brave as hell. And I love your spirit, but I... Please understand what you put us through." 

Tears prick your eyes. Leia was right. You quickly wipe your eyes. "I know. I know it was dumb. I know I shouldn't have done it. I know it all. But I don't want to dwell on it any longer." You lock eyes and your voice catches in your throat. You take a deep breath and sigh. "All I wanted when I got back was for you to hold me, tell me everything is okay."

He moves, kneeling in front of you. "I understand that. All I want to do is hold you too, but I also can't deny my orders as Commander, okay?"

"Ignore them for me, just for a second. I just feel like I made a terrible mistake even though I am here and everything is better, but..." You can't keep it in anymore, the tears falling from your eyes. He swallows you up in a hug as you break into sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks 4 reading. im debating waiting until ep 8 comes out for an end or just going for it. tell me what y'all think :') also thanks so much for your comments and stuff. i really appreciated them.


	62. Update and Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a chapter

Hello. Sorry I haven't been updating. Life keeps happening. I planned on updating once The Last Jedi came out, but I don't think it will be a happy ending and I don't think I'll be seeing it either. But yea. I figured I should give an update. I don't see myself sticking with this franchise much longer and it's a shame. It had so much potential, but keeps disappointing for me at least. So peace out. Idk when I'll post the actual end chapter since my computer is being worked on, but it's coming eventually.


End file.
